Got You
by myTme
Summary: What is a brooding cowboy in a slump to do? Well that's easy, attempt to drive Faye nuts. What happens when a few 'simple' pranks get out of hand on the Bebop? Will Jet, Ed and Ein survive? Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

On with the show!

Chapter 1: Something for the Girl with Everything (Collider)

The guy had been an easy enough bounty head. All you needed was a half decent nose. How one man could smell so foul was beyond Faye. It was a cross between re-hydrated trash, rancid socks and rot. A scowl marred her face as she rinsed, _I bet Spike purposely gave me Sir Stinky!_ She huffed while re-sudsing. _Ergh! It just won't wash off!!_ Her face scrunched in thought as her scrubbing intensified, _Maybe I need tomato juice or somethin'? _

"Yo. You get him?" Jet's voice drifted from behind a snarled, wire mass.

"Yup." He slid down the side of his rust hued ship. "Wasn't too hard. Snuck up behind him while he was trying a lame money card on a leash trick… oomph! Ed! Not now!" How that kid could sneak up and latch onto him unawares was a mystery, an annoying mystery but one none the less. He shook his weighted leg in irritation.

"Did Spike-person remember to bring Ed back souvenirs?"

"Uhh…" he dug through his pockets, "Yeah, Ed, actually I did."

"What!?" Jet was wary. Spike had been off since he became mobile, again, but to bring Ed a treat? Near death experience or not, the lanky bounty hunter **did** not buy gifts. Not unless… there was an ulterior motive.

"Really!?! What did Spike bring for Edward? What? WHAT!?" Her eyes widened as her voice rose. Jet immediately returned to his job deciding ignorance the only road to bliss. "Ooooo. Does Ed eat them?"

"No. I think they'll make you sick," he chuckled quietly then leaned towards the vibrating child and lowered his voice, accompanied by a flicker of smug, "Why don't you use them to decorate Faye's room?"

Her jaw unhinged, "Spike is a genius." With that, the gangly, red-head was off to "trim" her beloved Faye-Faye's sanctuary.

The sound of retreating feet and mischievous giggles brought Jet out of his wiring cocoon, "Whoa! That's a bad idea Spike-o. No pun intended, but aren't you opening a can of worms pullin' this prank?"

"Meh," accompanied by a little shrug, Spike slouched off to reclaim the yellow couch, whistling a peculiarly happy tune. Jet was torn; this activity was destined to blow out of proportion, especially when Faye retaliated, but Spike appeared pleased and the poor guy could use a distraction. He sighed,deciding that perhaps this was for the best, _Faye's tough, she can take one for the team… _he rubbed his head,_ I hope._

Spike didn't know why he just had a need to bother someone. Specifically: Faye. He frowned as he sank into the couch cushions. She hadn't been easily riled since he revived from tying up loose ends. In some ways, it was like she didn't care; forcing his hand to find more juvenile means to irk her. So far, his attempts had been half-assed. This one promised a world of entertainment- he'd set it up well, with little effort and no expense.

His plan to 'refurbish' her room was based on the assurance Faye would be in a foul, nasty mood after dealing with Jongen. It was perfect. Already skittish over the man's peculiar collection- which was bound to attract all kinds of unpleasant, multi-legged interest- she'd be a paranoid, twitchy mess. He grinned, it wasn't his fault she didn't read the whole bio the final line: "Abnormal attachment to strangely shaped tubers." If the truth were told, she never saw that part. It came on the second page- which he accidentally tossed out, oops. _She's only interested in the price anyway_. A grin slashed his face, _Not that Jongen's worth anything. _

The delusional rhizome lover seemed right up her alley. He was relatively harmless, just a garden variety peeping tom. His cheap bounty was proof of that. Jess Acerbo, on the other hand, was a twisted trickster with a sadistic streak and a sizeable reward to encourage his capture. He enjoyed using silly pranks to lure unsuspecting victims closer, followed by thorough beatings and, occasionally, the removal of their valuables or their lives. It depended on his mood. Spike hadn't let on, but he was certain Jess had bruised a rib or two. He settled into his well maintained couch groove, a twinge ripping up his side. His breath caught, "Ungh… that nasty little fucker and his cheap ass silver knuckles…"

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE! What the hell is that! Someone with shoes squish it, SQUISH IT!!" The scream was immediately followed by scrambling feet. To be perceived innocently oblivious Spike settled deeper into the couch and began to softly snore, the epitome of blank nonchalance. "Holy shit! It's following me. Spike! SPIKE!" Poor Faye was too busy scrambling down the stairs, up the couch and over him, to notice that Ein was chasing her with an insect shadow.

"Oof! Dammit Faye!" Spike eased his bruised torso from a well placed heel. She just shuddered and pointed to a black spot behind the corgi as she scooted further away. _Hmmm… Ed's better than I thought._ He quickly schooled his features portraying perplexed annoyance, rather than unadulterated glee. "What?!" again a shaky finger pointed behind the dog. "That? THAT is what you're screeching like a banshee in heat for?"

"Huh. I'm sure you're speaking from personal experience." He frowned. She shuddered, forgetting the barb, as the speck inched closer, "It's following me. Maybe it's possessed or thinks my body would make an excellent hive," Spike snorted. Faye ignored him and continued her panicky rant, "Maybe… maybe… I still have Jongen residue on me. That collection of his was in all states of decay. Some of it was even moving…" This initiated a full body quake, and exaggerated sniffing around her towel. Spike nearly bit through his cheek to remain externally placid.

He took a few experimental sniffs her direction. _Huh, she smells like oranges._ He feigned repulsion, "Ergh. You may be right Faye. I'll kill it, but get away!" He pulled a look of pure nausea and turned. Nudging her with his foot, "I don't think you got all the smell off." He grinned having just caught Faye's slack-jawed, paling face. As soon as Spike was between her and the offending arthropod, she fled to the recesses of the bathroom; a reverberating 'THUNK' punctuating the hasty departure. He grinned and grumbled, "Wow Ed, pretty slick."

"Edward wanted to decorate Ein too!" A disembodied voice drifted from the direction of Faye's room. Curiosity fueled by the assurance Faye would be another half-hour, he followed it. The room was dark. Spike could sense Ed waiting impatiently. "Turn on the light! Ed wants you to see her masterpiece." There was a flurry of movement as Spike flipped the switch. Illuminating Ed, unable to hold her excitement, bouncing to and fro like a broken gyroscope, she directed his attention to the walls. Bugs were everywhere. It was an exterminator's wet dream. Streamers of electrical tape, resembling fly paper, dangled lazily from the ceiling, various winged bodies attached; hordes of crawlers every size, shape and color littered the flat surfaces.

"Wow, Ed. Not a single one wasted. It looks… ehh…thorough."

"Do you think Faye-Faye will like it? Ed put the best, most leggy ones in her bed."

"What do you mean 'in her bed'?"

"Under her pillow and covers, silly. That way, Faye-Faye can snuggle with her new friends like Ed spoons Ein-doggy. Ooooo she will be so happy. Edward thinks she will scream louder than she did for Ein's friend." She pulled an energized breath, "The warm squishies! WARM SQUISHIES!!" she squealed spinning around her accomplishment, "Now Faye-Faye won't be lonely or feel left out, 'cause Ed gave her plastic, leggy friends! YAY!!" With the air of an opera diva Ed began to sing, "Friends with multi-eyeballs and cute little wingies, these will be Faye-Faye's favorite thingies!" With a flourish she escaped the confines of the room to scurry off to parts unknown. Her homage to _The Sound of Music_ floating back, "…Fake little spiders all wrapped up in tape. Oh how Faye-Faye will gape…" Spike shrugged, turned off the light and returned to his previously supine state.

"Ed. ED! I know you're out there, hand me the electrical tape… EDWARD!"

"But there isn't any more tape, Ed used it all."

"Ugh… Ed, what did you use it for?"

"To stick decorations on the ceiling in Faye-Faye's room, they look like…"

"Ed, that is not what **that** tape is for," he hated lecturing her. It always failed- miserably. In fact, most of his lectures were wasted air. _Don't know why I bother, damn ape people._

"But the last time Ed stuck something up, Spike told Edward to use tape."

"That's because you super-glued Ein's dog tags to the fridge!! We had to use ALL Faye's nail-polish remover and Spike broke two of my screwdrivers!" Not to mention the strange dent and star shaped scratches from Spike trying to pry the inoculatory proof off the door. _Why he refuses to listen to Faye is beyond me._ He snorted, _Occasionally, she gets it right._

"Hmmm… Faye-Faye said the fridge is a great place to store important notes and Spike person said Woof-woof Ein's license was very, VERY important." Jet gave a sigh in exasperation.

"She meant… He… That… Ergh. Yes, Ed. Your logic is impeccable. Hand me the multi-meter." He couldn't argue, technically she hadn't broken any rules. In fact, she had done EXACTLY what his idiot partners had instructed.

"Why is Papa Jet buried in Bebop guts?"

"General repairs." It had taken him all day to find and mend the various broken and failing wires. His method had been methodical and therapeutic. He would open the panel, check each wire and mark (with tape) those needing replacement, then move to the next, keeping an itinerary of wire type and location. It had been a time consuming, quiet and relatively pleasant way to spend his day- but with Ed twitching like a frog on crack, Spike planning God knew what for Faye, and Faye's inevitable tirade his peace was quickly evaporating.

"Your comm is beeping." She grabbed the device, "You have a friend who wishes to reach out and touch you." Her sing-song announcement was answered with his hand emerging from the tangle of colorful wires. He gave an impatient shake, "Hand it here," Glancing at the unfinished work he scowled, _Well I guess this panel will have to wait._

"Jet, good to hear you're keeping that heap runnin'."

"Bob," Jet rubbed his eyes, "get to the point."

"Well, I just got news on that new bounty you asked about…" He snorted, "Seems perfect for you." Jet raised an inquisitive brow. "Your mark likes the college crowd. Hits clubs popular with his preferred clientele, most notably those favored by Martian students."

"How much, Bob?"

"175 mil. Another 25 if you bring in Boris too."

"Hmmm… Why'd the bounty go up?"

He flipped the page to his skin mag, "The bounty only popped up 'cause one of his more distinguished customers was some Venus politician's brat. Kid's girl got a hold of a dose of somethin' nasty at a kegger the night before on Europa. She gave it to Junior, who decided to take it right before some swanky party for Pops. Guess he wanted to loosen up." Bob paused to study another picture, "Ran through the crowd, naked, screamin', 'The gnomes are uprising, the gnomes are uprising.'" Bob chuckled briefly as he flipped pages. "Ran straight through a window and preformed a perfect swan dive into concrete fifty stories down."

Jet scowled, "Perfect?"

"Yup." Bob nodded, "Very little splash." He grinned, "Durin' the autopsy they found one of the perp's calling cards and a partially dissolved pill. Kid's dad wants their heads. My money is he's planning to use his boy's death to increase votes."

Jet groaned, "Another anti-drug stance?"

"Yup. Doesn't want the media to find out his wonderful baby boy was a drug fiend, by choice. He's screaming that his son was tricked into partaking. Total, bullshit. How he's goin' to hide the fact his kid had some interesting tastes is beyond me, considering the kid refused to keep his indiscretions private." Bob shrugged.

"Huh. Glad I'm not a Venus voter." Jet frowned, his forehead scrunching in thought, "Calling card?"

"Idiot actually passes out a business card for orders." Bob's head shook, "You have to be 'invited' personally by one of his higher level stooges, a profitable customer or the creep himself. From what we can gather, he only recruits women personally. The card is relatively inconspicuous. Looks like someone's digits and a name or place. Shit, half the men at any one club pass 'em out to hook-up. It's a bitch to track."

"Huh." Jet had the sinking suspicion he was going to have to use the alternative resources he had available to catch this bounty head. Faye would be furious; she hadn't had to play bait since Spike came to.

A rotation of the current page, a half mumbled, "My sentiments exactly." Bob slowly turned the magazine he was perusing, for a more intimate angle, "Wooo-Damn. Err… I don't have much else; he's got some hidden partners. We think one is the main front man but the guy's never been caught. No ID, nothin'." Bob frowned, flipping to the highly desired center page. His brows rose, his chair squeaking as he shifted, "I'll send what I got."

"Thanks Bob." The only response given before silence was a small grunt.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Let the mayhem begin!

Chapter 2: Shitstorm (Jed Davis)

"FOOD!" Jet bellowed from the kitchen. He was through playing the 'go tell' game. It only ended in arguments, headache and/or fisticuffs. This way he was able to avoid three-fourths of the issues that followed. The fisticuffs, on the other hand, were only sporadic and going to happen regardless. _As long as they don't kill each other, I don't care, _was his continual justification for the lack of concern over the childish antics of the other two adults. Spike was the first in the kitchen, closely followed by Ed and Ein. Jet scowled over his Ramen cup, "Where's Faye?"

"Probably still scrubbin' Jongen off." Jet paused, mid bite. Positive he'd seen a bit of a smirk cross Spike's face before he began shoveling noodles.

"Was he really that bad?" He glanced at Spike, over his own bowl.

"You do realize his hobby?" Spike chucked, "She said some of his pieces were moving."

With a grunt Jet gave a small nod in greeting, before he returned his focus to his meal.

"He was awful, Jet. Guy's place smelled like…like…" Faye absently pulled at the lid to her cup of noodles.

"Feet?" Ed chirped.

"No," Faye scrunched her brows trying to decide on the most appropriate description, mouthful of noodles half way to its final destination.

"Ass?" Spike shared to keep the game progressing. He started on his second serving.

"Worse," Faye looked ill trying to recall the perfect adjective for the odor that oozed from the man. She returned the mouthful to her cup, Jet still staring. _What the hell she done to herself?! _She looked rubbed raw. Her skin was incredibly red, burned almost, like she'd gone after herself with lye. Her hair hung in soggy tendrils down the side of her face.

"Good grief, Faye what have you been doing since you returned?!"

Spike snorted, "She's been trying to scrub off Jongen's stench." He took a tentative whiff in her direction, pretending to lose his appetite, he was finished anyway. "Oh shit, Faye."

"What? WHAT!?!" With eyes bulging she began sniffing her arms.

"I should have picked up on it before. That stink it's…" he just had to wait for it. She was currently stuffing her nose down her oversized T-shirt, dinner forgotten.

"What Spike?"

Ahh… the beginning of a whine. "Well, I don't know how to tell you this Faye…" she was now examining her feet, while she ran her tongue over her teeth.

"What?!"

He chuckled internally, enjoying her antics, "I think, I think it's you. Like it absorbed into your skin. Did you touch him or sit in one of his treasures? Some skin on skin contact? What did you do so he'd go willingly? Give him a sample to let his guard down?" Her features darkened, he was certain he had crossed a line implying what he had, but couldn't help it. "Show him there were things more tantalizing than rudely shaped organics? That's gross Faye, you know the kind of shit that guy was into," Spike pulled a face along with the other two adults. Sheepishly, he shrugged, "Err..."

Faye glowered, cutting him off. "Flirt? Sample? I may not look it but I do have my standards."

"Really? Based on what? Wallet size? The larger the billfold, the lower your inhibitions?"

Faye's eyes narrowed, but she kept her tongue in check, deciding to avoid another pissing match. She shrugged, altering her expression to haughty confidence, "If you must know I took him down quickly. No mess. No fuss. I didn't even get much of his," grimace and shudder, "collection on me. In fact, I snuck behind him, cuffed his hands while he was," another face, "eh… preoccupied and drug him out of the room he was camped in." Spike didn't buy it.

"You took him out while he was busy with his collection?!" Jet, though disgusted, was mildly surprised Faye would sacrifice cleanliness, comfort and mental health to complete a take-down by means of least resistance. Then he realized, _She's editing._

Spike was first to call her on it, "Collection huh? What aren't you sharing?" He smirked when she visibly twitched.

She scratched her head, "It made the most sense. It wasn't like he was paying any attention to what was going on around him." She grimaced and began rubbing her arms, shaking her head. "No one should see a guy doing that in front of food..." she shot a nervous glance towards Ed.

"Doing what, Faye-Faye?" Ed was in wide eyed awe.

"Er... you know…" She flapped her hand. Both men stared agog. Spike momentarily felt sorry for not warning her. Jet felt his appetite disappear.

"Faye-Faye, you came in all covered in yuck. You were squishy, wet and stinky." She had seen Faye's ignominious return, covered head to toe in greenish-brown sludge. Faye looked ill, her features shading to the color of sick. Helping herself to the forgotten dinners, Ed watched the rest of the drama unfold.

Spike grinned, "Thought you didn't get much on you?"

"Yeah, he, uhh... slipped when I was dragging him out and I bumped my head in the fall. After the stars left, I found he'd wiggled away and was running, still cuffed." She groaned, remembering what her hand had slid through to break her fall, and touched her forehead. The rest of the crew could make out a slight bruise bleeding into hairline. "I didn't know his house butted against some kind of farm. He ran there for cover." She gave a tiny shiver, "I… I think some of his collection came from there." Jet knew where this discussion was leading and chuckled softly. He'd also seen Faye's return. Spike hearing the out of place noise leaned forward_._ Ed happily slurped a noodle. Both men returned their attention to Faye, "He ducked behind some kind of tank," eyebrows scrunching at the memory, "Bastard tackled me," she shrugged, schooling her features, "I got dirty. Really dirty. Kicked his ass and collected his bounty." There was no way she was going to relive that particular take-down in front of Spike. Apprehending Jongen had been miserable. After he bolted she ended up slogging through muck for over an hour, listening to the disgusting pig slosh about in an attempt to hide. When he ducked behind the compost barrel, Faye had him cornered. Panic took over the chubby man's expression. He pounced on the taller woman. Caught off guard, she fell backwards only to have the nasty troll-man try to bury her in anything and everything he could grasp. "I ain't goin' go. Don't take me, I'll lose my collection!" He kept babbling, trying to bury Faye's head and shoulders. He refused to budge. In an attempt to remove him Faye kicked out, hoping to connect with a weapon of some kind. Instead her foot caught the latch to the compost container, spilling the putrid liquid. Jongen was knocked off replaced by a barrage of manure, plant refuse and worms which skirted across her skin. Furious at her predicament, she took her ire out on the dazed bounty. Boxing his ears soundly, she dropped him in a watering trough to remove some of the gunk, wrapped him up and deposited him at the local police station.

She knew she was a mess, but the dazed look of the booking agent told her she was much, much worse. "Ya look like you've rolled in shit, honey." Faye shot the woman a nasty glare. Unfazed the agent left the office only to return a moment later with a wet rag. "Get summa that crud off yer face. Who's 'is?" Faye gave the woman Jongen's information. Now booked, she collected his measly fee and left. _Spike'll take forever in the shower out of spite if he sees me like this._ Hoping Lady Luck would smile on her, for once, she hurried home. A small sense of relief washing over her when she saw the Swordfish, and therefore its owner, had yet to return. Wasting no time, she rushed to her room. Water, soap and clean clothes a running chant as she dashed to the shower.

Gently laying her chopsticks down, Faye left to toss her laundry in the washer, now a cracking, chipping mess. Spike had noticed the muddy footprints leading from the hangar, but hadn't put two and two together until he heard the retelling of Faye's afternoon adventures. Deciding he didn't feel much like hassling her anymore he gently stretched his bruised side, leaving the table to resettle on the couch, planning to resume his napping. He couldn't repress the small grin gracing his features as he recalled Faye's antics over the roach tail. Remembering her room, he snapped up and sauntered down the hall. He may not have wanted to bother Faye about Jongen anymore but her tizzy over the bug made it necessary to remove all of Ed's more obvious decorations. He wanted to surprise her, make her squeal. With Ed's ebullient attempts the necessary subtlety was lost- she'd just be pissed. He quickly pulled down the bugs and tape streamers; quietly he took the piles from her linens, leaving a few sprinkled throughout; and finished by dropping the choicest representations in a few drawers, shoes and under various objects. _Just enough to be unexpected. _Spike's shoulders bounced momentarily as he quietly closed the door and tip-toed to his room. Reminiscing on her reaction earlier made him laugh out loud, almost. Instead he slunk towards his bed, lit a smoke and disposed of the evidence by tossing the sticky mass in the trash. Now all he had to do was sit back and wait for the inevitable.

Jet irritably collected the empty Styrofoam cups. He paused, _Damn, I never got to tell them about the new bounty. _"Ed," Jet needed information, "I need you to look at the files Bob sent over and find anything and everything you can about Boris Octavin and Kevin Lihas. They have a mysterious partner, try to find someone that's connected to both of 'em." He scrubbed at his neck, "I want their last where-abouts, pictures, what they ate for dinner last Tuesday, anything and everything got it?" Jet turned to go, then added, "Some politician's son died the other day, find out where he went to school, what groups he was in, favorite hang-out, etcetera. He was one of their customers and may lead us to a contact."

"Yes sir, Mr. Jet, SIR!" with a half salute Ed scooped up Ein and zipped off to begin the task.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Let the truth be told!

Chapter 3: Keep Talking (Pink Floyd)

"Look, he's crawling up my wall … Black and hairy, very small… Boris the spider," Ed sang in a bizarre lilting tune, mostly sharps and flats. She continued in an eardrum piercing high falsetto, "Creepy, crawly…"

"Ed that song sucks!" Faye grumped around spoonfuls of ice cream.

"Oh, Faye-Faye! Ed is hunting Spiderman and his cousin." Faye pulled a face, Ed continued while her arms wiggled noodle like, "spooky drug dealers for Jet."

"Hmmm… Didn't know he liked to unwind that way," Faye giggled at the scrunch-faced pout of a response. She shrugged, spinning her spoon absently, "Never mind, I'm sure he'll fill us in tomorrow." She hadn't a clue what the kid was talking about and decided it was best to wait. Ed's explanations tended to side along the lines of a bad acid trip.

"Faye-Faye?" Ed's voice had dropped to a slight whisper, "Why don't you play with Spike anymore?"

Faye lips puckered in confusion. "What do you mean? I never played with Spike."

Ed grinned, a glint in her eye, "Faye-Faye fibs." She waggled her finger in admonishment, "Before Ed left and came back, Faye-Faye would never let Spike say something silly about how she got a bounty head." Comprehension dawning, Faye sat on a nearby chair urging Ed to continue. "You would call Spike-person a lunkhead or other words," her arms folded across her skinny torso. The perfect replica of pious, childhood innocence, "Papa-Jet says Ed is not allowed to repeat." Nodding she glanced at the screen, typing some before returning her attention to the older woman. Faye took a bite of her ice cream noting Ed's eyes following her spoon.

"Uhh… Well, it's a bit complicated." Faye shrugged, Ed patiently waited for her to continue, "It just doesn't seem worth it anymore, you know? My grandma always said I should choose my battles and when we found him all torn to shreds, clinging to an existence he didn't seem to want, I decided it was too much work to constantly dig him out from under my skin. He wasn't worth the heartache." She jerked, "That and with my memories coming back, I've learned there are more important things. I hunted you down, remember?" Ed smiled, remembering how nice it was to have someone come for her. _Father-person never bothered._ Faye giggled, "Though I'm not sure why." Ed grinned, following Faye's spoon from container to mouth. Faye smirked, _It's like when you wiggle bacon in front of Ein!_ "Hey, Ed, you want some?"

"Faye-Faye will share with Ed?" she gasped.

"Just this once. Go grab a spoon."

"Weeeeeeeeeee! Ice cream, ice cream…" she cheered to the kitchen and back; unable to stop celebrating her good, correction: great fortune.

"Grr… Ed don't think this is an every time deal or somethin'. I just don't want good ice cream to go to waste and it's already melty," Faye pouted, "It's never good refrozen." Actually, that was just an excuse. She smiled at the sticky mess encircling Ed's mouth. _Wow. She's pretty observant. _

"Mmmmm… Faye-Faye, this is yummy!" Faye had given up on the ice cream when Ed returned, resorting to smoking instead. Soon a companionable silence befell the duo punctuated occasionally by Ed's humming, giggles, slurps, clicks and taps as she searched for the group's newest bounty. Faye began to notice a slowing of Ed's movements across the keyboard. She assumed the kid was falling asleep and carefully pulled herself up to head for her room. She stopped when she heard, Ed yawn, "Faye?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you scream about Ein-doggy's decoration?"

"What decoration?"

"The plastic bug Ed tied to Woof-woof doggy. Ein needed a longer tail. Ed didn't want him to feel inadequate."

"Huh?"

"Silly Faye-Faye. Spike brought Ed back a present from his naughty bounty head adventure and asked Ed to use it to decorate Faye-Faye's room. Haven't you seen your room's new decorations? Ed put some of the best on your bed! Faye-Faye can snuggle with some new, many legged buddies like Ed snuggles Ein!" Ed blinked, wide eyed and curious.

"Oh," Faye stalled, trying to save Ed's feelings. She rubbed her neck nervously and giggled, "You did that?! I was wondering who put, uh… what'd you use to decorate my room with Ed?"

"Spiders, worms, flies, cockroaches, silly-milly bugs, crawlers, biters…" Ticking insects off on her fingers, she scowled, "Didn't you notice what they were? Spike-person thought Faye-Faye would like it."

"Oh did he? Hmm… well thank you Ed. Remind me, tomorrow, to show you how we can thank him for the… uh…" she repressed a shudder, "room decorations, ok?"

"Ok. Nighty-night!" Ed smirked, "Don't let the plastic bed bugs bite!" She snapped her teeth playfully, Faye rolled her eyes and left Ed to continue rhyming as she searched. "Bite, bright, gotta sit tight, look all night..."

Upon, entering her room she immediately noticed that there wasn't a gag bug in sight. _Hmmm… Spike must have gotten rid of them, that or… _She pulled her bedding back with a ferocious jerk to find a rather disturbing creature coiled in the center. Stifling a shriek she shook the mattress to see if it reacted. With a lack of a response she gingerly flicked the offending toy off of her bed. Her countenance darkening when it bounced, _Cute Spike, cute._

__________________________________________________

Author's Note: I need to give credit, where credit is due. Two songs by The Who were influential and/or inspirational to the names of our key villain and his grotesque lackey. They are:

_Cousin Kevin_ by: The Who. Album: Tommy. Yup that's how Kevie got his name!

_Boris the Spider_ by: The Who. Album: A Quick One. Little, ugly Boris's namesake and the song Ed is singing at the beginning of this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

They're off!

Chapter 4: Look What I Found (Pepper)

To say Spike was disappointed when he woke was an understatement. He had waited, dozing for a good share of the night in order to hear Faye shriek and call for someone to squish what he had left in her room. Smirking at the memory of her, wrapped in a tiny towel, clambering across him the day before he decided she must have missed his little presents. _Probably went to bed drunk._ He grinned as he imagined the fall-out that would come when she awoke, with a hangover no less! He moved from malicious glee to shock when he spotted a hangover-free, coherent Faye sipping coffee on the chair. _Well scratch the drunk idea…hmmm._ He studied her, slightly disturbed by his failure. Giving up on a solution with a shrug and deciding to ignore the disgruntled glare, he shuffled into the kitchen for his own cup of caffeinated brew.

Faye was doing her best to ignore Spike in the doorway, though he knew she was watching him over the rim of her mug. She was not pleased with the cowboy, having spent a good share of her night, with a rolled magazine in one hand, exterminating her room of all the plastic, creepy crawlies. Upon discovery, she would poke the offending creature with the make-do weapon, wait for a response and add it to the increasing pile. The one she found crammed in her boot was an especially nasty surprise- she didn't find it until she dressed. Spike still unable to grasp how she was able to not fall for the bugs finally crossed the kitchen threshold. _She had a fit when she saw the roach attached to Ein. Maybe she hasn't found any..._

"Mornin' Spike. You look like shit."

"… I'm thinkin'"

"Hmm. That explains it," Spike glanced at Jet, who was intently examining something on the counter. He jerked his mug towards the point of interest, "These wouldn't happen to be yours would they?" Jet didn't sound particularly pleased at whatever he was studying. While filling a mug, Spike peeked around the big man's shoulder to see a drinking glass brimming with various insect representations.

"Nope. Gave those to Ed, remember?" with a slight smirk and a shrug Spike casually made his way to the rest of the group. He had to give her, begrudgingly, credit for keeping her cool. _So she did find them._

"Hmm…" Jet knew something was stirring, but he couldn't place his finger on it. _It wasn't Spike, and I'm sure Ed didn't leave these here. They didn't show until Faye… Oh! The prank._ Exiting the kitchen, Jet followed Spike to the main room. "Listen up," he started at the doorway, "I've gotten word of a pretty hefty bounty, but it's goin' take quite a bit of time and effort." He shot Faye a meaningful glance, indicating she would be expected to pull a good share of the load.

Faye unfazed at the silent warning, "How hefty are we talking Jet?" she was not in the mood for chump change. Chump change came with bounties like Jongen. Spike was of a similar opinion. He didn't feel like playing fisticuffs with a lowly cretin like Acerbo again.

"200 mil if we bring in the pair."

"Two hundred? Hold on Jet, what and who are we going after? That isn't anything to sneeze at. That's higher end."

Spike glared at Faye, "She'll just fuck us up, then steal our hard earned Woolongs." He didn't like whole team-bonding bounties, _Jet and I were fine alone,_ and was still a tad miffed Faye hadn't fallen for the insects. Faye attempted to ignore, who she considered, the peanut gallery.

"Can it. Faye's actually essential for this take-down," Spike frowned at the news and Faye's preening. Jet pressed on, "Ed just finished the research. The bounties' names are Kevin Lihas and Boris Octavin."

Faye glanced at Ed, "Let me guess they go by Cousin Kevin and Boris the Spider." She rolled her eyes and sighed, "Lame."

"Sounds like you, Poker Alice."

"Bite me, shit for brains."

"I'll pass. I'd hate to get rabies, bitch."

"AHEM. Like I was saying, these guys enjoy selling to students and clubbers. They're preferred clientele ranges from fifteen to mid-twenties."

"So that means from Ed to Faye's fake age," Spike drawled around a crumpled cigarette.

"Exactly. We know what universities he prefers to sell through and we know what type of girls he seems to…" Jet tugged at his collar, "…uh… to entertain with." He swallowed some coffee, "We just need someone to get him to offer her…" he shot Faye another glance, "his card."

Faye was oblivious of the second subtle warning. "Hmmm… Whoa, Jet, where's the catch?" Faye liked money, but she preferred it the easy way- little to no work.

Jet sighed before continuing, "We'll need someone to make contact with him so we can take down the team in one place." Again he glanced at Faye, "Lihas gets a kick out of hookin' nice girls. Innocent and young."

Faye's eyes widened, "You will not use Ed! She's too young to work undercover to catch a bounty!" Jet growled as he rubbed his face, _Is she playin' dumb on purpose?!_

Spike grinned, this bounty had potential, "Get a clue Faye." He focused on Jet, "I wouldn't call your choice in bait innocent though."

Faye blinked, "Excuse me?! I can pull off innocent. I wasn't always jaded, you know?!" She continued to grumble about being a nice girl with money, friends and food; about never having considered living life so rough, lying to survive and dressing like a tramp to keep safe.

Spike rolled his eyes and tuned her out, "Last where-abouts?"

"That's a bit shaky. The last known customer was a student from Venus, picked up the pills at a party on Europa. Seems they do quite a bit of business there around long weekends."

"Probably because of all the wealthy tourists- big spot for college kids on break," Faye was only processing aloud, when she noted Jet and Spike's shocked expressions. "What?"

Jet scratched his head, averting his gaze to the cigarette in his hand. He chuckled, "Hadn't thought about that." Spike furrowed his brow slightly as he studied the ceiling, _I like it better when she's dense._

"Anywhere else they've been spotted?" Faye attempted to change the subject; neither man seemed comfortable with her moment of insight.

"A fancy club on Calypso called 'The Initiate'."

She sputtered coffee, "Hang on," both men arched a brow in Faye's general direction. "Did you say **The** Initiate?" Jet gave a curt nod. She pulled a face. "Don't you remember Jet?" He shook his head, trying to figure out what she was talking about. "That's where I was sent to take down those creepy twins," she placed a finger on her chin, smirked and shot Spike a wink. "Not that you would, Cowboy, you were still on heavy pain meds. That bounty bought you more." She beamed, "You're welcome."

"For what?!"

She ignored him, her eyes widening as another realization struck, "Uhh...FYI boys Initiate isn't a normal drink and dance kind of club. It uhh… caters to uhh…" the snoozing hacker was given a nervous once over. She lowered her voice, "'alternative tastes, 'first times' and 'fantasy fulfillment'," she gave each air quotes. "They like shows and exhibitionist and you need a costume to get in. That's why those twins were prefect there. They enjoyed the less than picky clientele and loose standards." Her expression turned wicked as she cackled, "You two could go as a couple…" Jet's threatening glare provided a momentary pause.

Spike's slump grew to a sprawling slouch. He irritably rubbed his forehead, "Ahh… shit. You serious?" Faye's head bobbled happily. She looked far too pleased at the idea of him and Jet pretending to date. He groaned. He hated places where he wasn't certain who or what would hit on him. He always ended up with a "what" drunk and dangled over his shoulder, toying with his hair. He hated strangers messing with his hair; especially when that stranger was dressed like a squirrel, dead movie star from Earth or a Catholic school girl- with the figure more suited for the rodent costume.

"Don't worry, Cowboy." Faye cooed, "They are very selective of who they let in. If you make it through the doors I'm sure no one in his or her right mind would try picking you up." She batted her eyelashes, "You'll probably get labeled a pity fuck or the D.D." before turning towards Jet.

"Ahem," Jet gave her his best knock-it-off glare before continuing, "There was another instance at M. Tech, recently. Students were caught using pills similar to our guy's'."

"So?" She grinned, "Always move before you're caught."

"Not advice you follow well is it?"

She snorted at the mop of dark hair.

Jet's head shook as he sighed, "Actually they were already selling there. I'll wake Ed in a bit and she can start double checking what she's already found using the new information," he gave Faye a once over, "you provided. We need to get a better picture of who and what we'll be looking for."

Spike snorted, "Sounds like folks with a taste for the kinky."

Jet scowled, "I'm not in the mood to try to take these people down half cocked, guns blazing." Spike was graced with an 'I mean you' look. "We need the money." He glanced at Ed's twitching form, spread across Ein. "Ergh, poor kid spent all night trying to find this much," he shook a pile of papers for emphasis.

Spike sat up slightly, "So Faye, what did you dress as to get in?"

"Where?"

"That club place."

She smiled sweetly, "Why do you care?"

Jet growled, this would take all day if he didn't step in. "She went as a…"

Faye sighed, "I went as a mechanic, refurbished one of your coveralls, added a hat and oil smudges." She grinned, "I used a wrench to knock one bounty out."

Spike snorted and began to open his mouth for a retort. Jet cut him off and dismissed them. Just catching Spike's grumbling about the improper use of a perfectly good fantasy before he headed towards the observation deck and Faye in the direction of the kitchen. Jet repressed a chuckle and rubbed his chin, _Was it just me or did he give Faye an odd look when she mentioned that take-down? He seemed pretty interested. _With a shrug, Jet returned to his unfinished wiring job. _Perfectly good fantasy huh?_ Jet smirked at the tangle of colored wires, _She did look pretty good, shame he was still unconscious, even he could've appreciated that get-up_.

_Hmm… so Faye is capable of doing a bounty correctly,_ smirked Spike as he practiced a few punches. _I can't believe she didn't fall for those bugs, she found every single one._ Kick, sweep, elbow, punch, head-scratch. _When did she start to out think me?_ Kick, kick, sweep, block, uppercut, chin rub. _Nah. _Head shake._ She didn't, she just got lucky, Ed must've said somethin'. _Nod, smirk, side kick, roundhouse, chop… With a solution to his befuddlement, Spike was able to concentrate on his workout; shutting out any and all disturbances and simply feel. He didn't notice Faye's momentary presence, before she slipped back into the darkened recesses of the ship to finish her sandwich.

_I wonder what's eating him._ _He usually isn't so choppy and he always asks me if I like the view. He didn't even notice… _Her thoughts remained on Spike as she made her way to where Ed lay. _Maybe I shouldn't have brought up when he was hurt? Hmmm…_ In deep contemplation she missed Ein sprawled across the doorway and took a rather unladylike tumble.

"Shit, Ein that hurt! Don't you know that doorways are meant to be kept clear?! Ergh! That's a fire hazard you stupid mutt, A FIRE HAZARD!!" She hissed rubbing the healthy bruise developing on her knee.

"Arf!" was the only response, followed by the wagging of his stubby, little tail.

"No, I'm not goin' to feed you. You nearly killed me!" Faye grumped as she hobbled her way to her bedroom. Ein, completely oblivious, too busy cleaning up after her spill. Faye entered her room and stared at her hands, _Where did I put my sandwich?_


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

The messy repercussions.

Chapter 5: Surprise! You're Dead! (Faith No More)

Jet peered at the hacker on his way back from the hangar. He had given up on the wiring. It, like many things aboard the ship, could wait until more Woolongs were available. "Found anything?" he paused when Ed brought up the profile of one of the partners. Freshly showered Spike wandered towards the couch. He glanced over Jet's shoulder scanning the bio. Both men grimaced as they studied (Cousin) Kevin Lihas's rap sheet. "Holy shit. This guy already had a 75 mil bounty for homicide, torture, mutilation, rape, drug paraphernalia, solicitation, the list goes on!" Jet was gob smacked.

Spike shrugged, "So he's a bit of a dabbler?" he rummaged for a smoke as he found a comfortable position.

"Dabbler?!" Jet shot Spike a nervous glance, "I want to look into this guy further before we send Faye after him." Spike cocked an eyebrow in response. "There's something about him that doesn't sit right. Call it intuition." Spike rolled his neck and decided to let Jet have his way- Jet's intuition was usually best not to ignore, though things were always more interesting when he did. Returning to his favorite position on the couch he stretched and flopped his stocking clad feet onto the armrest. Ed's incessant typing the perfect white noise and the lack of chatter meant Faye was off "beautifying" and Jet had gone to meditate through maintenance or bonsai. With a leisure drag, he slumped further into his personal divot and began to snooze. When the soft snores came from his end of the couch, Ed quietly quit typing and set off to find Faye.

"Faye. Faye," she stage whispered through the doorway, "Spike-person is in dreamy-dream land."

"You're sure?"

"Ed is quite sure," stated as though she were the expert of Spike's napping rituals. "Ed watched Spiky-Spike finish his smoke, wiggle to the big dip in the couch and begin to make noises," she took a moment to mimic Spike's soft murmurs and snores. "Ed did just as Faye-Faye said and kept tippy-typing until Ed was certain." With a nod, Faye pulled out the supplies.

"Ok Ed. What I want you to do is wait until his hand slips off the edge of the couch."

"Yesssss?" This must be very good. It was so involved and it had props!

"Then you're going to spray some of this," Faye pulled out a brightly colored can, "Don't let any drip on the floor. We don't want to waste any."

"What is that?"

"Oh! It smells yummy. See," Faye turned the can so Ed could read the label before spraying a tiny dollop on her finger, "it smells like…"

"Mmmm…" Ed said with a smile, "candy."

"Right. It's a delicious smell. One of my favorites."

"Ok, Faye-Faye." She read the can and frowned, "Are we shaving Spike's palm for him?"

"No, Ed. Though I'm sure he needs it," Faye grinned. "After you fill his hand with the cream, you're going to tickle Spike's nose with this," she revealed a small feather from one of her more disreputable disguises, "when he feels the tickle he will rub his face and spread shaving cream all over." She felt like she was hosting a children's show on the education channel, "Then all he has to do is go shave so he isn't all scruffy," Faye made a face to illustrate how unpleasant 'scruffy' was. Ed copied the soured expression, her head bobbling studiously. Internally Faye was beaming, quite tickled with her resourcefulness.

"Ohhh… it says here that Spike-person will have silky smooth skin with a delightfully, tantalizing scent!"

"Yup. He'll smell much, much better."

"Ahh… Why is Spike-person so lucky?" Ed stuck her lip out in a pout.

"He needs a little extra attention is all, Ed. It isn't luck, it's sympathy. Now remember," she grabbed Ed's shoulders and leaned in close, "you have to be super sneaky or you'll ruin the surprise." With that Faye ushered Ed out of the room and resumed her nail filing.

Ed nervously crept past Spike and resumed her search. At every noise, or shift she cautiously peered around the edge of her Tomato to establish the location of his hand. Currently, one was resting behind his head, the other draped across his stomach.

"Ed cannot take much more of this, Ein," she whined, flopping back upon the poor pup. Who offered a pathetic yip. "Spike-person's hand must move so Ed can help him feel better." She sighed, slowly losing her patience over the task Faye assigned.

"Hey Ed, how's it going?" asked Jet on his way to the kitchen.

She stuck a finger to her lips, "Shhh!" Jet's eyes widened. Ed hissed, "Fine, MPU is helping Ed with her search. But Spike-person will not move so Ed can help him."

"What Ed? What are you talking about?"

"Ed has a present for Spike but cannot give it to him," she pouted, "his hands are not free." The poor kid looked so dejected, Jet immediately felt sorry.

"Huh, what do you need? Can I help?"

"Ed needs Spike person's hand to dangle off the couch so she can put a surprise in it." Ed sighed again, as Spike returned his leg to the couch's arm.

"Oh, just gently move it. If you're careful, he won't notice," Jet shrugged, hoping this would get his star hacker back to her assigned task.

"Careful like a surgeon sturgeon, right?" She continued to stage whisper, though it was obviously unnecessary.

"Heh. Yeah somethin' like that. Good luck kid," and with a ruffle of her hair Jet set off to start dinner.

Faye had been waiting for the impending blow-up far too long. Since she hadn't heard a peep she decided to see what was keeping Ed from completing her mission. _Did she get caught? Maybe Spike isn't napping? Maybe he is…_ concerned for the girl's and, begrudgingly, Spike's safety Faye made her way to the usual hangout. At the doorway of the main room she froze. Ed was filling Spike's hand with the potent, über-girly shaving cream. _Wow. She's taking this seriously._ Faye felt a slight flutter of guilt for using the hacker. _Hmmph. Spike pulled the exact same trick._ Ed was now dramatically tip toeing to the end of the couch near Spike's head. With a grin, the Cheshire Cat would envy, she carefully tickled Spike's face. As the feather ghosted across his nostrils, his breathing changed and he wrinkled his nose. Ed peeked at Faye wondering what to do. Faye carefully mouthed, "Tickle him again." Ed complied, causing Spike to half heartedly shrug his shoulder towards his nose. "Again…"

SPLAT!

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Spike sat bolt upright. Ed and Ein scrambled for safety. Faye remained rooted. Jet came running from the kitchen, a wire whisk clutched in his hand.

"Spike, what's…" comprehension dawned, _Oh shit! That was Ed's gift?!_ She wasted no time turning him into a shield.

"Ed did not mean to make Spike-person so angry. Ed was trying to give Spike a gift like he gave Faye-Faye," she hoarsely whispered eyes wide from behind Jet's form.

"You did, Ed. Don't worry he's not mad at you. Come help me finish dinner." He carefully led the girl away from the potential fall-out. With a small chuckle and a shake of his head he mumbled, "Can-o' worms, buddy. Can. O'. Worms."

Spike swiping the shaving cream preparing to drip into his eyes, settled his glare at the Faye statue on the stairs. "So tell me Faye," he gritted, trying to avoid getting anymore in his mouth. "How did Ed happen to figure out this sleep-over trick?"

"Oh. Well, she wanted to return the bug favor from yesterday," Faye nervously tittered, "so I helped her out." Faye, her spell broken by a sudden sense of self preservation, was carefully analyzing if she could run to her bedroom and lock the door before Spike launched. "I mean she asked me nicely, and it was so sweet of you to give her all those," Faye gave a disapproving frown, "lovely decorations. I couldn't refuse a chance to express my gratitude," she smiled attempting a look of sweet innocence.

"Faye," Spike's tone was flat; he was far from swayed, "this shit stinks."

"It DOES NOT!" She stomped and crossed her arms. "I happen to use it all the…" comprehension dawning she took a tentative step towards the door.

"Where you goin' Faye?" He attempted to raise an eyebrow, only to have more glop into his eye. His voice lowered to a snarl, "We're having such a nice chat."

"Err… I just remembered I left the…the… umm… the iron on," and with that she bolted. Spike simply pulled himself off the couch, desperately trying to keep the foam from dripping in any more orifices, though doubted it possible. He heard the tell-tale click of a lock as he entered the hallway. "Turn about's a bitch, Faye," was mumbled in passing.

"SSSSS… Damn, this stuff stings!" He grumbled rinsing out his eyes, cleared his nose and washed his face, removing the, _What is that, orange?_ residue. Deciding that too much of the stuff had gotten on him, he made his way back to collect shower supplies. _Ergh. I smell like a chick!_ _No,_ tentative whiff, _I smell like Faye._ Muttering incoherently he carefully washed his hair- again, while plans of retaliation flitted through his head.

"So Ed what information did you learn about our newest bounty?" Ed still looked a bit shaken over Spike's reaction and Jet didn't want her dwelling. It would cause problems. He was certain the blame had already fallen on the proper culprit: Faye.

"Oh. Ed did good and found pictures!" Beaming, she scampered from the kitchen to retrieve her Tomato. Perched precariously atop her head, Jet was able to see a well kept, trim man with sandy blonde hair. He had a superior air, fairly handsome with dark malicious eyes and a swarmy smirk- every father's nightmare. Ed pressed a button and Jet was now face to face with a sweaty, fat, balding man in a rumbled suit and tie, hugging an indistinguishable, large, effeminately, masculine blob. Boris looked harmless, his scared eyes and slack jaw gave the impression he would rather be somewhere else.

"Hmm… They look nothing like I expected. Guess Kevin's the brains, huh?"

"No. He's too cranky. There's more, look!" Ed sang wiggling her eyebrows in a slightly worldly way that made Jet uncomfortable, "Look at the rest."

"Holy shit! They're a couple?!"

"Ehh?" Ed turned the computer so she could see it again, "No. They are cousins. Their daddies were brothers." She pointed to an old school picture a tall strawberry blonde between the two, "See they always get into the same things." She pulled up juvenile records and sure enough if Kevin was busted Boris went down too- though the reverse was not the case, "They're a team! Eh… sort of." She returned to the threesome, "Edward thinks this is the mystery man."

"Hold up, show me those pictures again." She began flipping through the various photos from school, emails, etc. The strawberry blonde appeared in several, with various alterations to his hair color, cut, and so forth. "Who's this guy?" Jet's finger landed on him.

Her eyebrows squished, "Edward is not sure. The tall man likes hugging the ugly man though." She grinned, "Edward thinks they are friends for life, little strife, hugging tight while playing naked, kissy face at night!" Ed's body swayed and she made squishy, kiss faces as she sang of the two's assumed affections. Then she pulled a sour face, "Ed would not want to kiss them. Ewwe! Ed would get clappers or cooties or…or…" She frowned, "What's that nasty thing Spike-person says Faye-Faye caught?"

"Not important kid." He began trying to remember himself, last time Spike had accused Faye of questionable morals and the diseases collected by them she'd busted his nose- a major surprise to all three adults. Remembering Ed he continued, "Err… thanks Ed. Print this up and... uhh…" Jet's eyebrow rose, "Why don't you go give Ein some dinner."

"Right-o Mr. Boss Man! Reeeeerrroooom," arms at three and nine she flew around the small counter.

Jet glanced at her retreating back, "And Ed no more of those odd ball videos you find diving in people's personal files, just because two guys are friends DOES NOT mean they…" he gave an involuntary shudder remembering Ed's dance, "kiss and hug. AND quit listening in on Faye and Spike's arguments!!"

She returned to the doorway, a happy grin plastered on her face, "Then Ed'll watch Spike's videos!" She disappeared instantly.

Jet sputtered and paled. _What videos?!_ "NO! Ed absolutely NOT! You stay out of his numerous stashes!" Silence. "Ed, I know you heard me!! No MORE!" _Damn kid's goin' give me nightmares or ulcers._ He frowned, _No. She'll give me both._ He shook his head, _I'll have to get Spike to move his porn stash._ _Probably should have him move __**all**__ his recreational supplies. _Jet scratched his beard absently returning to the previous conversation he mumbled aloud, "What does Spike accuse Faye of having?"

Faye had hidden until she was certain Spike would be a while. She had no idea Ed could squirt nearly the whole can of shaving cream in his hand. _I know his feet and hands are freakishly large, but holy hell I just bought that! _Her initial plan was in keeping close to the rest of the crew. She figured, well actually hoped, the others would make it difficult for Spike to retaliate. When the shower began, she slipped out to find them. She caught the tail end of Jet and Ed's discussion, barely missing the fleeing teen. She entered the kitchen, catching Jet's in deep thought mumbling.

"Spike accuses me of having 'The Bug'."

"What?"

"Some oddball fictional STD invented for a comic book or somethin'. Hey, why were you talking about Spike's videos?"

"Huh? Oh that kid heard me. The fact she's silent tells me she's pretending she didn't."

"Pfff… You sound like a mother when you talk like that," Faye pulled out a cigarette, noticing Jet's red face and the slight clenching of his hand she grabbed two. "Here, take a joke. Geez!"

"Err… uh… thanks Faye. What the hell's 'The Bug'?" slight forgotten.

"Oh. Like I said, it's a fictional STD, supposed to cause bizarre mutations and make the one who has it an outcast." She shrugged unfazed, "Don't know where the hell he came up with that one. Sounds like a comic book thing, if you ask me." She frowned, "So what's Ed gotten into now?"

"She's watchin' smut or something. I just stood here listening to her talk about the nighttime activities of male lovers."

"Huh. Didn't know Spike was into guy on guy porn."

"He isn't?" Faye's eyebrow quirked causing Jet to blush slightly.

"So if it isn't Spike's videos where's she gettin' it from?" Jet gave her an appraising glance, she flushed, "No. Nuh-uh. Try again. I'm not the visual type." She stuck a manicured nail to her chin, "If she isn't getting her info from Spike's stash what's she basin' it on?" She grinned, "I bet she said, that one of them smokes and drinks until he can't walk straight, comes home to sleep on a god awful, ugly, yellow couch, then wakes the next morning to down a concoction of raw egg and Tabasco?" She grinned, gaining momentum, "While his buddy mopes in a room full of trees with a pair of scissors?" Jet's lips pursed. Faye snapped her fingers, "I know! He abandons his comrades, to chase after ghosts and blows himself up!" Her hand flew up, her fingers spreading wide to mimic an explosion. She frowned, "Then bitches because he couldn't stay dead." She sniggered before pulling a pained, sad face, "Poor baby, neither heaven nor hell wants him."

Jet snorted, "Faye, I'm insulted you'd even imply I'm sleeping with Spike." He chuckled, "'Sides, I think if you asked him, he'd say this is hell." Faye's lack of a comment, proved she agreed. Jet grew serious, "And for your information he's actually perked up, don't know why but he has." Jet returned his attention to the stove shaking his head, "God dammit, I thought you'd gotten over all that crap!"

"Meh. I'm not one to forgive and forget." She leaned over the counter.

"Yeah, yeah. It's one or the other with you, right?"

"More like neither. So what's Ed done that's got your boxers bunched?" Jet gave a disapproving glare and shared Ed's latest findings. He left no detail out about the photos and explained the disturbing actions of the team's favorite, and only, hacker. Faye appeared unfazed over the revelation, which was highly disturbing to the older man. She sighed, "Jet, she's a teenager. She's goin' to be curious about that stuff and use what little knowledge she has to try to get a rise out of us." She grinned, "All she made was kissy-faces. It isn't like you caught her masturbating or she started dry humping your leg." Jet visibly paled at the sudden mental pictures.

"Who's humping? I told you Ein needed to be, _snort_, fixed," _Ergh! I keep getting whiffs of oranges._ With Spike's entry Faye left to find a safer locale.

"Oh hey Spike. No Ein has been keeping his… err… more carnal needs to himself. 'Sides, he came fixed."

"Huh, thought Faye had a little more discretion."

"Spike, she isn't even in the room. Save the 'I hate you' B.S. for her. I'm tired of it," Jet returned his attention to his creation, "Besides, anyone with half a brain knows you're just flirting like, like a kid Ed's age."

"WHAT!?" another whiff of orange, "Absolutely NOT!"

Jet snorted and shook his head with a snigger, "Bugs in her bedroom? Come on Spike. I was pullin' that shit when I was five."

"Whatever," when in doubt resort to nonchalance, "When's dinner goin' to be ready?" then change the subject.

"Uhh… not sure, I'm experimenting." He smirked then peered at the creation in the oven, "10- 30 minutes. Oh and you need to find a new place to hide your porn, Ed's found it." Spike turned to hide the amused grin. With a half-assed wave he left the room, a trail of grey smoke marking his direction.

Jet was beaming, he had found a recipe that allowed him to use a good share of the eggs he'd purchased (on sale) and empty the fridge of any unnecessary (in other words, near rotten) produce.

"What the hell is it?" Spike absently poked the eggy substance.

"It wiggles, and jiggles like the monster Ed ate!" came the pleased chatter beside the dish. Ed had begun nudging the edge of it in order to encourage the substance to bounce and roll.

"You guys are so ungrateful," huffed Jet, "I slave and try to make the best outta what we got and you make it sound like I'm trying to poison you."

"Aren't you?" Spike made a face as Jet passed him a serving.

"What's in the middle? It looks like snot?"

"You have firsthand experience with snot in food?" Spike carefully began sorting out everything unidentifiable. _Hmm… piece of pepper: stay. Piece of grey: throw away… _

Faye pulled a face, "I live with you don't I?"

"That doesn't even make sense."

She glared, "You were a slobbering, oozing mess when we lugged you from the hospital."

Jet nodded.

"Boogers are fun!" Ed squealed as she flipped a grey lump at Spike. Instinctually, he dodged it. "Ear boogers don't taste good though."

"Ed that is not a dinner table subject and mind your manners," Jet rolled his eyes, _Like it matters with these guys,_ he glanced at the bodies around the table and scowled, _freakin' monkey people._

"Spoilsport."

"Faye, just eat your eggs!" She pulled a face, carefully removing a brownish lump.

"Mmm… Faye-Faye if you eat fast you can't even tell Papa Jet used all the brown, squishy stuff in the fridge!" Faye expertly dodged the particles escaping Ed's mouth.

"Gross Jet! We're not live in garbage disposals!"

"Could a fooled me, Faye."

"Shut up, Spike, the one with the least discerning palate is…"

"You. I'm not the one who ate Ein's dog food." Spike chuckled at the memory of finding the empty can, fork still inside.

Faye's eyes shot to the panting dog, "I…I…errr… I did that once when I was near starvation! I've got thumbs," she wiggled them to prove her point, "So I can work the can opener. It's survival of the fittest, you know." The dog woofed nearby, not amused. He'd had to go without dinner for three days!

"She's also the one who polished off all those rations," Jet snickered.

"Yeah, too bad they'd spoiled. I forgot to thank you. You saved us a lot of toilet time!"

"Speak for yourself; I had to clean up after her when she didn't quite make it." Jet feigned sick, remembering the half digested rations splattered across the floor with some form of alcoholic sauce.

"You…you guys," Faye's cheeks had the slightest hint of pink, "You just don't see what a gift I am to this crew. I bring a little class, order, humor and good looks; I brighten this place just by being here."

"Yeah, you're the comic relief."

"I'm a diamond sparkling in a pile of coal!"

"Sure Faye," half hearted shrug, "whatever you say."

"Ah, aha! Spike-person is a poet! The question is: did he know it?" Ed resorted to singing continual rhymes, "Faye, say, ray, hey, today, ok..."

"Grrr! Eat your slop and SHUT UP!" Jet wasn't sure but he thought he saw Faye shift in her chair. Spike hastily emptied his plate and headed towards the hanger.

"Where ya goin'?"

"Don't worry Mom, I'm just running a quick errand, I'll be back by curfew."

"Curfew?! Well don't shoot, hit, or break anything and if you blow something up I will not fix it and do not call if you end up in jail!!"

"Whatever…"

On his way out, Spike pulled Faye's reserve pack of cigarettes from the RedTail. _Perfect, already opened._ Now he needed privacy and a drink.


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Some modern art.

Chapter 6: Have a Drink on Me (AC/DC)

Jet settled next to the console to review Ed's findings. He needed more information and start moving, at least, towards the stooges. Spike and Faye's bounties had earned enough for necessities, but it wouldn't keep the group in food indeterminately. _Hmm... What do I know?_ He ticked off on his fingers as he mentally went through the list, _I know their aliases: Cousin Kev and the Spider. Kevin's not the brains but thinks he is. He also has a taste for playing with the customers. Boris isn't a threat. Guy's a complete follower. I got their pictures and last selling location and I know he prefers college kids. Hmm…their associate is male..._ He flipped through the images, noting the third member was in every photo in various disguises, _and he's pretty good at hiding. _That's when Jet remembered, "Ed look up the popular jobsites of M. Tech's student body, and see if there is a connection to the drug busts, expulsions and deaths you already found." With his instructions given he went to find Faye.

Spike was on his third beer, having fun altering Faye's smokes. His favorite was the little surprise he'd carefully stuffed into, what he hoped, would be her last.

"Hey, fella _hic_ why ya messin' with 'em perfect smokes, huh?" Spike glanced at the fellow and returned his attention to poking holes in a cigarette filter with a sewing needle.

"Modern art." He shrugged, hoping the unwelcome company would catch the hint. The drunk refused to be dissuaded and began breathing down Spike's neck. _What's this guy been drinking? He smells like turpentine and barf._

"Someone must a pissed ya off, _hic_ aye buddy? You know if you're c'ref'l you can take sum a the smoke outta th'm _hic_ and th'll burn up like a piece o' paper." Spike hadn't thought of trying that. He gave his new partner in crime one of his cigarettes and one of Faye's.

"Show me." The drunk put one in his mouth with a grateful nod. Carefully, he peeled the paper and removed the tobacco from the center of the second. He then rolled it again.

"See, ya can't t'll, but _hic_ I pr'mise ya i'll burn like," the man snapped. "You're friend's goin' be pissed. What'd they do t' ya to make ya _hic_ wanna mess w'th thur smokes? Ya know, I had a buddy once..." Spike quit listening; the man was definitely a chatty drunk. Three more cigarettes… two… Finished, he paid his bill and slunk off to return the altered property.

Faye was finishing her RedTail clean-up. With Jongen's head print removed, the floor vacuumed and the seat steam cleaned she hung an air freshener and returned her "necessities" to their proper place. _Huh, guess I used up my emergency smokes,_ she glanced at the pile of trash and frowned,_ I'll have to get more._

"Faye, FAYE!"

"What Jet? I'm not deaf." Her head appeared from inside the ship a lovely scowl adorning her face.

"Oh, sorry, didn't see you in there. Look, I need you to buy some new clothes."

"What's wrong with what I wear?" Faye was used to Spike's grief, but Jet having an opinion was unsettling.

Jet was furiously pinching the bridge of his nose, "Faye, I know it works for the regular bounties, but you look too... uhh… worldly, not trust worthy. Even when you dress up for the nicer clubs, you look like a fuck 'em and leave 'em tied to the bed, robbed blind kind of chick." Faye's expression darkened, "If I send you undercover, I'll need you to blend in, look available and naive. Less seductress and more jail bait. Innocent. Got it?" Faye nodded and returned her attentions to the mono pod.

As he turned to leave, Faye stopped him, "Uh Jet, what kind of," she glanced at the ceiling trying to find the right word, "uh… look do you want. I mean, what am I going as so I can shop accordingly?"

Jet thought for a moment, "You need to figure out how to blend in with rich college kids. Get information on their parties, the clubs they attend especially the odd ball ones," he thought for a moment, "I'd have Spike try too, but I think he only wears that suit. Besides, it's pointless; like asking Ein to only shit under bushes." He chuckled at Faye's disapproving stare. "Look, I know you've had some college," her eyebrow quirked slightly. Jet mumbled and soldiered on, "I don't even think Spike finished school. He wouldn't be able to blend as well and I'm too old."

"And I'd blend in?" Faye was not happy Jet had learned more about her past.

"Yeah Faye. You would, better 'an Spike anyway." Faye sighed in disgruntled agreement, returning her attention to her ship. Jet disappeared to tend bonsai- silently congratulating his finesse.

Spike immediately noticed Faye had cleaned. _Shit. I hadn't expected that._ Contemplating what to do, he made his way towards the kitchen. _Hopefully there's something edible._ His stomach growled in agreement. With a stale piece of pizza, Spike lowered his frame to the couch, tossing Faye's pack on the coffee table in the process, and lighting one of his own. With a slow, soothing drag he considered how he could slip the cigarettes back into Faye's possession. If Jet were to use them all his hard work would be for naught. _How do I get these back to her, without raising suspicion? _Deciding a little shut-eye would help him plan, he removed his jacket and settled into the groove he'd taken years to perfect. In moments, he was asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

An explosive reaction.

Chapter 7: Click Click Boom (Saliva)

Spike ignored the crew as they began to stir. He preferred to not think about what Jet had planned. From what Faye had said about The Initiate and the implications brought up concerning their newest financial endeavor, he was a bit uncomfortable with the thought of learning more- ignorant bliss and all. After procuring some breakfast, Ed settled down to continue searching for the illusive and lucrative drug team. Faye plopped comfortably behind, immediately eyeballing the pack of cigarettes sitting on the table. _Did I leave those here?_ She had to pull a snatch-and-grab right under Spike's nose; which usually ended in some half-hearted display of dominance from the lanky cowboy. Deciding that it was now or never, Faye swooped and grabbed the pack; Spike shifted on the couch forcing Faye to pull a hasty retreat. Wondering what had caused Faye to leave quickly, Ed peeked around her trusty laptop in time to see Spike glance at Faye's departing backside with a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Oooo lala," she giggled staring towards the couch, "Ed just caught Spike peeking at Faye-Faye's bottom."

"What was that Ed?" Jet was sure he had heard wrong, but the pink of Spike's ears as he hid under an arm made Jet pause and rethink. _Since when does Spike blush?_

"Edward saw Spike pretending to sleep," she was taunting, "When Faye-Faye grabbed her smoker sticks off the coffee table, Spike-person smiled and peeked at her tushy." She gave a tittering giggle.

"Ed," Spike drawled from under his arm, "I did NO such thing."

"Spike-person did too!" His arm shifted in order to level a displeased glare.

"Spike, you calling her a liar?"

"No, just misinformed," his gaze shifted to a disbelieving Jet. "I would never. I repeat NEVER check out Faye's ass or any other part of her anatomy."

Jet shook as he chuckled, "I'm callin' bullshit there, Spike-o. You'd have to be blind, or broken not to look."

"Jet! I'm shocked! You're turning into a perv in your old age."

"Age, rage, butt ogling rampage!" Ed stood and circled the couch, "Spike and Jet will. Be. Caged!"

"Ed finish your search!" She melted back to her post. "Spike, you got caught. Suck it up." Jet left, determined to find solitary sanity with his scissors and greenery. Spike simply shrugged and tried to pretend the conversation never occurred. It may have worked if Ed had quit singing.

The main room had finally quieted; Ed finished her research and left Spike to his fitful dreams. Faye heard him moan, in passing, and paused. _He always looks so different when he's asleep. _She watched for a moment before she heard a commotion from the hangar and decided to refill her coffee before she was caught. Spike chuckled softly, _Like what you saw Faye?_

"Ed," Jet peered around his tools at the contorting net diver, "go wake Spike and pull up the new information."

"Aye-aye!" She rolled upright, sprinting away and launched when she neared the couch; landing on Spike with the ease of a pro-wrestler.

"Oof! What the…?!" Gold eyes blinked back only inches from his face. He scowled, "ED!!" and rolled, knocking her to the floor.

She sprang up beside his head, yelling, "Waky-waky Spiky-Spike. It is time to earn your keep! Hehe."

"Ed, do you NOT know how to do anything gently?" He rubbed the tiny bruise forming on his chest.

"Papa Jet did not say, 'Wake Spike gently.' He said to just get Spike up and that's what Ed did!" Her face disappeared behind a toothy grin. Seemingly boneless, she dropped before Tomato. Faye flopped next to Spike, a steaming mug in hand. Immediately he stole it.

"Not for you!" She took a swipe, only to crash into his back.

"But yours is here, and I need some now." He selfishly gulped the black liquid, immediately replacing it, mouth scalded. "Bleh, too hot!" He returned the pilfered beverage.

"Ewe! Have it," pulling a face she plunked the mug on the coffee table, "I don't need your back wash." She pushed Spike to the end of the couch and pulled out a cigarette. Spike found a comfortable slouch, keeping Faye in his periphery. She put it to her lips and flipped the lighter. Puff, puff… Furrowed brow... Pout.

"What the hell? It just burnt up." She pulled out another. Put it to her lips, lighter… After the fifth, she was glaring at the pack, her patience gone. "What's wrong with these?" Spike held his breath, _What if she gives up before the best one?_

"Maybe you got a dud pack, Faye? Best not let them go to waste."

She was already pulling out the last stick, "Bologna, Spike. Dud pack? Pff. I got ripped off." She lit it, and took a drag, "Last time I snatch this brand, even in a pinch. What happened to pride in your work, huh? I swear every single one of these was complete and utter cr…"

POP!

"…ap!" Green eyes crossed to examine the cigarette. It closely resembled a peeled banana. "Oh my God!" Spike began chuckle. He was quite pleased his prank worked. When the load exploded Faye froze. She still had not processed what had occurred, she just kept studying the offensive object, silently ordering it to explain itself.

"Faye, spit that prank cigarette out of your mouth and look at this!" Spike shot the older man a look of displeasure.

"P-p-prank? You mean?" _Shit!_ Spike schooled his features. Faye already processing, "Hey, Lunkhead," her teeth tightly clenched, "You have any idea how my decent pack of smokes turned into death traps?"

"Haven't you read the warning on the side Faye?"

She snarled, "No."

"Then what are you talking about?" Spike gave a shrug and directed his attention to the fan overhead.

"You could have blown my nose off with that stupid trick you idiot!"

"No I couldn't, come on Faye, it was all in fun."

"Fun? FUN?! Wasting perfectly good smokes is not fun! It's a waste of money. MY MONEY!!"

"You stole that pack. Besides, I had a blast." Spike winked at Faye before returning his attention to the ceiling. Jet, sensed the downfall of the group's cohesion and immediately went into the plan. "Both of you, knock it off! We need to start on the bounty..." The biggest problem would be Spike. Since he wouldn't work as a student Jet needed to decide if he was necessary and if so find a reason for him to be on or near the campus. He was a must as back up. Faye needed to gain information and with luck a calling card. She had to work the crowd, not scan for potential problems. To everyone else she had to appear a normal college student, which meant for the most part she had to remain unaware of Lihas's darker interests. "Faye, you'll be living as a regular college student starting Monday. Have Ed show you the courses offered and set you up at a local hang-out for work. Make up a cover story too." Faye nodded. "Spike, I don't know what we can do with you," Jet sighed while Spike portrayed the essence of smug.

"If there is an education building you could enroll him in the daycare," Faye's smile was hopeful. Spike slanted a glance her way, noting the little sparkle in her eyes.

Jet made a point to ignore the useless tip, shrugging, "I guess you could disguise yourself as a janitor." Spike's focus shifted to Jet, _Why am I always a janitor?_

Jet reading his mind, leveled a glare, "Because it's the easiest. You don't try and hide who you are." He glanced at Faye, "She'll at least play a role and do a half decent job at it. You refuse to." Spike slumped. Jet sighed, "Look, whatever you end up doing there try to be subtle, NO property damage." He huffed, "If you can come up with something better than janitor be my guest." The group slouched into their seats to contemplate the plan. "Faye, you'll need to go buy some new clothes."

She rolled her eyes, "So you've said. I don't understand why though," she glanced at her legs, "What you want isn't my style. I go for more of a sophisticated woman look."

_Sigh. I knew this would be trouble._

"Pfff... More like..."

"Spike! Drop it." Jet was in no mood to hear an argument about Faye's choice in garments. _What's he care, anyway? _"Get some things that'll work but make sure they're cheap."

"Fine." Faye shrugged and glared at Spike. Jet settled his attention on Ed, still trying to find information on the drug slinging team.

"Take Ed with you when you go. She needs some fresh air."

"She isn't a dog, besides wouldn't it be..." Jet was not in the mood.

"I don't remember asking Faye."

"Who the fuck are you? My mother?!" She stepped closer, "You can't tell me…"

"Take Ed and go- now." That was it. He left no room for argument and she couldn't unless she followed- which explained his hasty retreat. Faye, too busy grumbling about not being paid enough to Ed-sit missed the quiet 'click' of the storage closet door, gathered her money card. "JET!" she glanced around for said man, "Err... this sucks!" She stomped her foot, but without the proper audience it lost its effect. "Come on Ed, let's go." Spike could sense Faye attempting to stare through the back of his skull, but decided to feign sleep. She flipped the empty cigarette package onto his stomach and stalked to the door. He barely caught the hissed warning, "You started this, Brill-o for brains, no whining when I retaliate."

He just gave a half hearted wave. "Have fun shopping with Ed, Faye."

"Ass." She turned her attention to the hacker, "Ed move it or I'll drag you!"

"Ed is not luggage, Faye-Faye. Ed can walk."

"THEN LET'S GO!" Her grip gave the impression that she would haul Ed around like an overstuffed suitcase if the girl did not do as told.


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Nocturnal molestations.

Chapter 8: When you Sleep (Cake)

Spike knew they left when Jet returned looking disheveled and highly relieved. "Chicken," Spike snorted as he studied the ex-cop through his lashes. Jet settled in a chair opposite. Spike refused to dress-up for this little excursion, and was preparing his reasoning when Jet began to speak, "Look, Spike," Jet sighed and rubbed his head. "I didn't tell Faye about Kevin. I think he's too much for her to handle and I can find jack on his third partner. Whoever he is, he works in the shadows and keeps his nose clean. We've a few pictures but the guy changes his look like most people change socks. If my hunch is sound, he's as scary as Lihas." Spike looked shocked, from what he could tell Kevin and his crew were nasty but nothing she hadn't dealt with before. Jet grimaced, "Ed found a little more about him. He's a nasty S.O.B. that likes to play with some of the more aesthetically pleasing customers in every disgusting way imaginable. He has a bounty on his head already for a number of felonies plus the 175 mil. It's a good chunk of change, but I'd like to try and hold off apprehending this ass-wipe until we can get closer to his partners. Boris is the easy catch. His partner is a non entity and Lihas will be trouble."

"You think Lihas will bolt?"

"Exactly, Boris isn't a criminal mastermind. But this mystery guy is trouble, big trouble. We don't' know when he'll decide to back up his friends and when he'll let them take the fall. Lihas is a freak," he shook his head. "I know Faye is pretty good at handling herself but I want her to mingle. Get to know the kids so she can find more info. She needs to blend in and seem like a student, I'm sure Kevin can sniff a cowboy a mile away. You don't get that big of a bounty being an easy catch." He tapped the mystery fellow's picture, "This guy is apt to be floating around nearby, in fact, if Faye plays her cards right one or all will contact her directly. I want you to play their competition. Keep them from thinking she's an easy," Jet's face soured, "toy. I don't care if you have to play the jealous boyfriend to keep them from getting too close. Faye is not to spend thirty seconds out of your sight with these guys!"

"She'll be out of sight when she's in class "

"Yes, but she won't be alone. Lihas won't try anything in the middle of a classroom and you'll be at the coffee shop Ed has her employed at. They'll be careful, there're too many chances to be noticed. A club is where Lihas'll make his move. It's too easy, people come and go all the time in various states of consciousness and it's expected they're all after the same thing…" Spike grinned. "From what Ed could find he isn't enrolled at the school. They use their more profitable customers there or one of his cheap toadies to sniff out new money."

"Why the concern? Faye's a big girl. She can handle it."

"Not with these guys. You need to watch her back. The mystery friend could pop up anytime. They enjoy drugging the... uh... 'merchandise' before playing with her. If he makes direct contact, she's already been or is being slipped something."

"And they have access to some pretty potent shit."

"Hit it on the head." Jet tapped his nose, "Lihas isn't a moron. No one gets that long of a rap sheet and no convictions without some brains, some luck or a few excellent connections. His buddy's even spookier since we haven't a clue what he does." Spike's eyes rotated to stare at the older man. Jet sighed, rubbing his forehead, "If I tip Faye off she'll be too suspicious and could blow cover. I want her to think she's just getting information. That's why you're goin' to be there. I've got Ed trying to figure out their M.O. But the drug trade is easier to track than the collecting."

_Ugh. I don't know if I can play student. It's been forever! _Faye thought, again. She had been fairly lucky finding a few clothes but Ed's behavior made it impossible for her to slip in and duck out. _Damn kid's like a walking wrecking ball._ She smiled as the sales woman returned the money card. "Thank you and have a nice day." The smile appeared genuine, probably glad to see the last of Ed, who had single handedly redressed and repositioned every manikin in the store.

"Ed does not think that grey haired lady liked Ed's style," she huffed as they made their way to Faye's last destination. When they reached the door, Faye's communicator beeped.

"What? You checkin' up on me?" Faye grumped at the device.

"No. I need you to get some laundry detergent. Spike…"

"Hasn't done laundry since before we left that last capture on Pluto," Faye smirked, "over a month ago."

Jet visibly paled. "Well, that explains the, err.. odor. Just buy the soap and give Ed the comm. I need her to run an errand."

"Huh?" _Ed running errands? _

"Faye, just give Ed the god damned comm. She'll meet you back at the Bebop when she's done." Reluctantly, Faye passed the communicator off and disappeared into the nearby building. She wanted to find a few accessories to complete her trendy student look and the retail store promised the perfect, extra touch. Quickly, Faye grabbed what she needed and left, not bothering to stop at the cashier- who kindly wished her a nice day and better luck next time.

Entering the convenience store, inspiration struck. At the check-out she added carcinogenic necessities to her pile and returned 'home.' Tossing the bottle of detergent on the washer, Faye made a beeline for her room. Emptying her bags she pulled out two identical boxes containing Spike's preferred brand of cigarettes. One she hid away with her gambling tricks, the other she began hitting against her palm.

"Faye-Faye! Did you stop and get Ed a treat?"

"I sure did Ed, but I need you to do me a favor."

"Really? What did Faye…" Faye swung a bag of sweets before Ed's face. The hacker immediately followed the swinging, sugary bliss, occasionally remembering to swallow.

Faye broke the hypnotic stare, "See how I'm hitting this box, Ed?" She nodded, "I want you to keep doing it until you're tired, 'kay? I'll even give you the bag to snack on while you work." Faye smiled as she passed off the 'loot' and headed towards the shower. She could hear Ed thumping the package all over the ship.

Spike heard the girls return and decided he would remain on the couch for as long as possible. He sighed, _It had been so quiet._ No sooner was this thought then Ed marched into the room, crackling wrappers and slapping something against her hand. _Oh. Looks like Faye's already started,_ he smirked,_ so nice of her to buy me smokes. _Not able to feign sleep any longer Spike sat up and watched Ed's antics.

Crinkle, slurp, slap, smack, wham, bang, slap, giggle, crinkle, slurp… Piece of candy, five hits to the cigarettes and then repeat. It was such a production that even Jet appeared to see what the hullabaloo was over.

"Ed, did you pick up the supplies I asked for?"

"Yothssss," she nodded.

"Go grab 'em," he paused when a thought struck him, "Wait, did Faye buy any jewelry." Ed shrugged. "Check and get it too." With that Ed disappeared out the doorway. "What's she doing with a pack of your cigarettes, Spike?"

"Haven't a clue, but don't let Faye know we saw her." Spike grinned, and snuggled back into position. Jet was ready to ask what he thought was going on when Ed returned carrying a bag of miscellaneous gear and a dainty necklace.

"Great Ed, go put that pack of smokes back where you got 'em and then help Faye prepare for tomorrow." Ed nodded and scampered off. Jet turned to Spike "You," he knocked the foot off the armrest, "come with me." Spike quirked a brow, as he rolled up and followed Jet to the ammo/supply closet, hands jammed deep into his pockets.

Faye stared at the university's information. She wanted large classes. There she could be another face and a sudden appearance wouldn't draw unnecessary attention. A history class popped on screen. She had Ed stop. "What about that one?"

"Faye-Faye this one is Earth History, lots of students. It should be super packed," she squished her hands together.

"Great, find two more similar to that one and give me the information. Keep the courses in auditoriums with lots of seats and the numbers, after the course name, low." Ed turned to analyze Faye who was still thinking aloud, "Math, science and art courses would require regular assignments or labs and maybe a quiz. Usually the humanities like a paper at the end and maybe a few tests during the term, stick with those. That way I can find information and not worry about being in a small group setting or have to do a lot of extra work to stay undercover. OH! And you won't need to worry about enrollment- I'll just blend in with the crowd. Perfect attendance in large classes only occurs on test days, if then." Faye smiled pleased she could remember some of her own experiences.

Ed, mouth gaping, gave Faye the laptop. "Ed thinks Faye-Faye should look this up," she scooted away before Faye could respond and disappeared, planning to dig up the second bag of treats. Faye, unable to complain, shrugged and began researching which courses would provide her easiest blending opportunity.

Spike paused, briefly wondering if he needed his eyes examined, _Faye's doing research alone? _This was not typical Faye protocol. Normally, she would whine and cajole someone else on the ship to do the computer stuff for her- that or she'd try to steal the bounty right from under you. A conversation with the crew, a few weeks after he became mobile again, immediately popped into his head. Spike had hobbled into the lounge and noticed Faye out. He assumed gambling and made a comment along the lines of, "Faye off wasting money on the dogs again, Jet?"

The older man had snorted, "She's out collecting a bounty so we can buy food," he gave Spike a once over, "and more meds," before he returned his attention to studying the next job. Ed, on the other hand, stopped typing and turned her attention towards the lanky cowboy.

"Spike-person," her tone unusually somber.

"What?" He noted her lack of playful twitching. Brows furrowed slightly, a small frown, she continued, "Ed thinks Spike is a lunkhead."

"Ed let it go," Jet had quit reading opting in watching the two.

"But Papa Jet," she whined, "He **needs** to know so he will stop. He's making an ass out of you and me." She giggled at her own joke.

Jet smiled shaking his head, "No Ed, he doesn't. If Faye wanted him to know she would tell him," Jet locked eyes with Spike, "It is not our place to tell him she's done a lot of growing up while he mended." Ed nodded with twinkling eyes.

"Then it is also not Ed and Jet's place to tell Spiky-Spike that Faye-Faye is not so icy cold since her memory started coming back and that she helps a lot while Spike-person snores."

Spike attempted to cross his arms, "I don't snore."

The only sign Jet heard him was the small snort, "Right," Jet glanced at Spike again, "She tries to act like a complete bitch but it's a cover. Anyone would resort to such extremes in her circumstances." Ed's head bobbed. "We forget that the guy she thought cared and loved her, left her penniless and indebted. Her first real memory after thawing was getting used and thrown away. I think deep down inside, she's more like the girl in the video." Jet gave Spike a knowing look before resuming his reading; Ed, her typing. Leaving Spike to mull over what he wasn't supposed to know. He suspected Jet and Ed weren't supposed to know most of Faye's inner workings either. It was hard believing them. But as he studied Faye frowning at the screen he realized she looked much closer to the little Faye he'd watched on the beta-tape. This Faye appeared excited, he frowned knowing she would try to hide it if she discovered her audience. The Faye scanning Ed's Tomato was closer to the woman placed in stasis. The girl who had boyfriends, probably prom queen, trusted people, belonged to a loving family, attended and graduated college. Spike smiled at the brief chink he witnessed in her armor. _Wonder what she studied?_ Deciding he really shouldn't care, he headed towards the hangar.

Jet was in the laundry room sorting clothes. "Spike, give me your dirty clothes. They reek." Spike raised an eyebrow and sniffed at his jacket.

"Smells ok to me, Jet."

"Well, that's 'cause your nose is used to it. If you're going with Faye tomorrow you've got to blend in. Smelling like month old cigarette smoke and stale booze won't cut it."

Spike grinned, "They'll just think I'm a normal college guy."

Jet gave Spike a disgusted glare. "No. They'll think you're creepy. Some bum trying to stay warm in a large auditorium." Spike pulled a wounded face but Jet was inflexible. "Give me your clothes or Ed and I will hunt you down and strip them off you." Spike was unsure whether Jet was serious. But the look in the man's eyes promised he would be tracked down and thrown into the washer with his clothes if he refused to comply. Shrugging he wandered towards his room to gather dirty laundry. He could hear Jet grumbling as he left, "A grown man. He doesn't have a problem showering, or changing his socks, but he hasn't been able to give a shit about much of anything since we drug him back from Mars. Turned into a complete bum. Should 'a made Faye leave him. I'd think he was a teenage..." Spike had entered his room, leaving Jet to his rant. Slob was a description he could understand as he kicked aside a stray bottle littering his floor. He frowned, he just didn't see the point in changing. It wasn't like he did a lot. Taking another whiff, he stripped, collected his clothes and dropped them at Jet's feet with little ceremony. Jet simply grunted, "Thanks," and returned his attention to sorting. "Get some sleep, I think Faye has an early class." Heading towards the couch, Spike wondered if this bounty was worth all the added grief. Then he remembered the 200 mil plus price on the guys' heads.

Faye felt nervous, skittish and just plain off balance. She had trouble sleeping, wondering what the next day would hold; memories of her old life filtering through her half coherent dreams. Finally, giving up, she crawled out of bed and headed towards the lounge. She caught sight of Spike's foot dangled over the couch's edge and decided now was the perfect time to act. Slinking back to her room, she retrieved the mauled pack of cigarettes, then slipped into Spike's room. Rummaging through his things she swapped his pack for the one Ed prepared, dropped the used pack in the nightstand drawer and quietly left, closing the door behind her. Before it latched, she remembered the boxer clad cowboy sprawled across the couch; returning she grabbed the rumpled quilt off his bed. Carefully, she set the blanket on the sleeping cowboy. Quietly musing at how peaceful he looked, "You know Lunkhead," she whispered, "you're kind of cute when you're sleeping." Smiling slightly, she ran her fingers through his fuzzy hair before heading towards the kitchen, hoping a cup of tea would soothe her nerves. If not, she was digging out the sleeping pills Jet kept hidden with his bonsais.

Spike was surprised to find a blanket draped on him and had a vague memory of Faye's touch as she told him he was kind of cute. Assuming it was a terrible, terrible dream he stretched and padded to his room. He didn't like the idea of one of his crew mates messing with him while he was unconscious. Especially now. After closing the door, he flopped on the bed immediately returning to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

The initial mating practices of Spike's and Faye-Faye's!

Chapter 9: Makin' Money (Handsome Devil)

Morning came too soon for the bounty hunters. "Ugh. Is this when normal people wake up?" Faye whined, not accustomed to rising before noon. She stumbled into the bathroom, hoping a shower would perk her up. Spike was disturbed by the small bumps and bangs of Faye's constant fussing. He could hear her rummaging through her closet, banging drawers and clinking bottles. Not wanting to face the world he burrowed deeper in his bedding, wondering if a solid kick to the wall would make her cease and desist. Slowly, comprehension dawned. Faye was preparing her disguise. She had to find a way to turn herself from a vampy sex-pot, into a wholesomely, cute coed. Spike couldn't repress his grin at her newest role, until he remembered that meant he too was heading to school, _Hopefully not as a janitor._ Afraid Jet would sic Ed on him, again; Spike dropped his feet to the floor and meandered towards the kitchen.

Jet was already preparing a meager breakfast of coffee and toast. He looked as tired and worn down as Spike felt. He had spent the evening finding a place to dock and dwell on what to do about Faye's backup. He had come to the conclusion that Spike should play the doting male (brother, boyfriend, didn't matter) while Faye was at school. From the files and information Ed had collected it was doubtful Lihas would contact on school grounds, instead it would be one of his clients. Jet was fairly confident she would be safe on her own, but couldn't appease the nagging doubt that haunted his every decision. He greeted Spike by means of a coffee cup.

"Mornin' Spike." Spike yawned, absently scratching his stomach. "Look. I've been thinking," Jet took a sip of his own mug and collected the popped toast, "And I don't think you'll need to waste your time at the school. Just drop Faye off and help monitor her movements through the camera Ed and I put on her." Spike visibly brightened at the announcement and nodded before snatching a piece of toast and disappearing to dress. Faye passed him in the hall, looking the role of a well rounded upper-classman. She grinned as she sashayed by. Spike turned to watch as she disappeared around the kitchen doorway.

"Ed thinks Faye-Faye looks better like that." Came a happy voice from further away. She giggled, "Ed thinks Spike-person likes Faye-Faye in real clothes too."

"Shut up, Ed." The girl giggled, scampering off to the main room. Spike ducking into his own quarters, _How can that kid be so perceptive? _With a shrug he pulled on his freshly washed clothes, noting the new pack of cigarettes. He collected the freebies and released a slight smirk, _Faye, too easy. I don't think you're even trying._ Chuckling he left for the main room, planning on catching a few more minutes of sleep before he played chauffeur. Habitually, he opened his new pack of smokes, rolling one between his fingers. Internally he gloated when he noticed Faye perched on the couch, he wanted her to witness this prank fail. _This was lame Faye, lame._

"Got a light, Faye?" She glanced his way, took a sip from her mug and dug out a silver lighter, suspiciously reminiscent of one Spike recently lost. He cocked a brow waiting. Smiling she tossed the lighter. He studied her expression behind the flame, a satisfied grin escaping along with a few smoke puffs. She looked slightly disappointed at the immediate light. Chuckling, "You need a better partner 'n Ed," he melted onto the couch next to her, "And this is mine," securing the lighter safely in his pocket. He was pleased with the disgruntled huff he heard as his head tilted back. Carefully he studied her new choice in clothing as he settled deeper into the lumpy padding.

"Did Jet tell you?" Spike wasn't sure what she was talking about and turned his head, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, "Did he tell you that you'll be flying me to class. I'm not sure how I'll fit though." Spike's shoulders gave a half hearted bounce, to be honest; he was also trying to figure that out. The Swordfish wasn't built for two. Luckily, Faye had opted for jeans and a clingy sweater; thus eliminating embarrassing skirt issues. Spike found he was having a hard time dealing with a mostly covered Faye. She usually spilled out of everything she wore and this modestly dressed version was, in Spike's opinion, distracting. She wasn't as brash with the extra clothes either. Her softer, refined side more evident. He caught himself staring. To save face he began to count the rotations of the ceiling fan. While he berated his reaction, _This is Faye. Queen high shrew bitch. Nothing more._ He knew he was lying to himself as he glanced at her again. _How can she completely turn off skank?_ Spike pulled a second cigarette out and began rolling it between his fingers.

"Oh so that's how you break the tobacco back up?" Faye hadn't been sure how to fix the damage, but had been certain it wasn't permanent, _Unlike loads and extra filters. _Remembering her wasted pack she chuckled softly. Spike gave an imperceptible nod, turning his attention to Jet as he entered the room.

"Faye, you dropped this." He handed her the small necklace, smiling slightly as she put it on. "You ready for your first day of school?" His attempts at teasing failed with her half smile.

Faye glanced at him before studying the far wall in a daze, she gave a sad smile. "You know my dad did the same thing my first day of high school." She collected her knees to her chest, "I'd dropped my necklace in a hurry to eat breakfast. He gave it to me and asked if I was ready…" her voice wistful, "I thought I was too old for him to bother. Told him so too." Spike glanced at her out the corner of his eye, _Is it just me or does she sound like she might cry?_ Faye's soft smile drooped, "You know what he said?" She didn't wait for them to respond, shaking her head sadly, "He said I'd never be too old for him to not worry about. He said I'd always..." snapping out of her revere Faye ran a nervous glance over everyone, slipping a wayward lock behind her ear before slamming her untouchable mask back in place. A little bewildered Jet tried to change the subject, "When does class end today?" He scowled at Faye's attempt to compose herself, _She's been letting stuff slip a lot lately._

"I…I…I don't know why I can't fly myself," she mumbled. Jet shook his head, he wanted to give the impression she was unavailable, but worth the chase, in case Lihas was floating around the campus. Faye glanced at her notebook. "The class starts in a little over an hour. I should be done by early afternoon. Then I'll put in a few hours at that damn shop you employed me at." Jet looked confused.

"Why so long?"

Faye gave a nervous giggle, "I thought I'd sit through a couple different lectures. That way I can meet more students." Spike was certain there was more, but let it go.

"Good idea." Jet nodded, "Keep your comm with you. You have a cover story if anyone asks, right?" Faye nodded. "Well, you'd better get going. I don't think walking in late is a good way to remain unnoticed." Faye smiled, _He hasn't a clue._ Spike rose, slowly following her. Jet caught him before he left, "Dump her off and come right back." Spike nodded, dropped his cigarette in his mug and exited the room.

Faye studied the Swordfish. _How the hell will I fit? _Spike was fussing in the cockpit, trying to decide the best place to stuff her. It would have been wiser to take the Hammerhead or the RedTail, but Spike preferred his own ship. After coming up with a solution he motioned Faye over.

"Two choices: behind me or on the floor." Faye did not want to play the role of cushion and opted for the floor. As Spike carefully settled into the pilot's seat, Faye began rethinking her options. _Talk about a rock and a hard spot._ She hadn't realized she would be nestled between Spike's legs, under his chest as he steered. She groaned, _Either way one of us would be straddled by the other_, she blushed at the realization. Spike surprised by her choice, missed the pinking of her cheeks. Shrugging it off, he began the ignition sequence, glancing at Faye before setting off. She looked uncomfortable and he couldn't really blame her. He was huddled over her, trying desperately not to peek down her shirt or bump her with a knee. _It's like being twelve all over again. _Every now and then he would breathe in a faint whiff of her hair; it smelled citrusy, sweet and clean- good. Faye, on the other hand, had her chin resting on her tightly held knees, her back pressed against the seat. Spike's aftershave drifted from behind mixed with fresh tobacco. The cologne was obviously old, probably added the night before when he shaved. It had lost its fresh punch, but the spicy musk suited him. After all, Spike wasn't a squeaky clean, polished kind of guy.

"So what classes you sitting in today?" Spike needed to keep his mind off of this new Faye. She was unsettling. He preferred the walled up, heartless version. With her you knew exactly where you stood- arm's length.

"Oh." Faye hadn't expected idle chatter, "History mostly. Might as well learn what happened while I was sleeping."

"I guess." Spike still felt she wasn't telling everything, "Anything else?"

"Heh," she wiggled, "I was going to try and slip into another lecture around noon."

"Why?"

"Because... it… uh… sounded familiar." She giggled derisively, "It's kind of funny. I studied the past then lost it."

"So you studied this stuff when you went to school?"

"Not sure, but I think so. That's why I picked these classes. Err... besides the fact they were in large auditoriums." Spike glanced at her briefly, noting the faraway look, "I've found that if I'm around something familiar my memory comes back quicker. I figured since I was drawn to certain things I should check 'em out…" her voice dropped to a whisper as she pressed on, tugging on her necklace absentmindedly. She regained some steam, "It's not like it matters. Students will be in every class and it isn't like they're the serious courses you take when you're finishing, just some introductory bullshit. I figured I might as well get something out of it since I'm stuck there anyways." Spike grunted in agreement, preparing the ship for landing. The second the hatch opened, Faye sprang out. "I'll be done about eight."

"Fine. I'll pick you up at the shop." Closing the hatch, Spike caught Faye's half wave as she turned and disappeared onto the campus, a notebook clutched in her hand.

Jet, Spike and Ed had been bored silly watching Faye move from class to class. Both men took note when she bought several textbooks, but decided to let it slide. It wasn't like reading material was in abundance on the ship and Faye had used her own money, so no harm no foul, just odd. Spike frowned when he noticed an older student follow her out of the store. He pointed the character out when he sat next to another repeat face, two rows ahead of Faye in the next class. Jet nodded and let the instance slide as coincidence. Ed hacked into the security cameras at the coffee shop and the three watched as she flitted among the various patrons. The place appeared to be the campus equalizer; students, professors, and locals all mixing over cups of joe. Jet gave Spike a nervous glance when a familiar man eased into a table. With a nod the lanky cowboy headed out to watch Faye's back.

The comm crackled as Spike neared the temporary place of employment. "Hurry up."

Spike sighed, "Going as fast as I can."

"That mystery fellow has been hitting on her nonstop. I want you to go in there and do the same." Spike pulled a sickened face. Faye **was not** someone to flirt with. Piss off, tease and torment yes but **never** flirt with. He landed in an empty lot and walked to the quaint little shop. Faye glanced at him as he entered the door, before schooling her expression to that of unfamiliarity. "Welcome," she smiled. "Take a seat anywhere, I'll be right with you." He tipped his head and grinned, settling in a corner.

"You see that fellow across the room?" Spike grunted. "I think he might be one of Lihas's stooges. Keep an eye on him." Another grunt.

Faye materialized before him, "What can I get you?"

"Coffee and your number." She frowned and gave him a nervous smile before disappearing to retrieve his order. The stranger across the room gave an appraising once over. The earpiece crackled to life, "Subtle Spike, subtle." He grunted as he slunk lower in his chair. Faye plopped his mug before him with a slip of paper. She smiled and drifted away. Unfolding the note he grinned at the scribbled message: What are you doing?!

Jet and Ed snickered over her perplexed reaction. She wasn't allowed an earpiece and was oblivious to the why of Spike's actions. Ed's giggling grew, "Edward thinks this will be very edu-cational!" She wiggled her fingers, "The mating practices of Spikes and Faye-Fayes!" Jet rolled his eyes and studied the disturbing stranger. He had only spoken politely to Faye, subtly eyeballing her as she drifted around the space. He visibly backed off once Spike displayed open interest.

Pleased with the confusion he wrote on a napkin: Relax and play along. Faye scanned the message, a small frown across her face as she refilled his cup. She leaned closer and cooed, "I'm off at eight, if you'd like to see me home."

He nodded and took a sip, "It would be my pleasure." The interested stranger snorted and huffed from the place. Jet and Ed both released a sigh of relief and continued to watch the show unfold. He had continued to sip from his mug, pretending to glean small snippets from Faye as she drifted by to refill. By the end of her shift he'd collected her name, school, cover story and number. She followed him from the shop, chatting amicably towards the parked Swordfish II.

The pattern remained similar over the next week. Spike becoming more predominant with each day. By the third, he was walking her to her first course and from the coffee shop; playing the role of a highly interested suitor. Faye followed her own part of flattered girl, unaware that Spike was actually keeping her safe. She assumed it was a new, messed up game he had devised to make her life miserable, because she liked the attention, which only promised it would halt suddenly and soon.

On several occasions she made small talk with the other students, especially the man Spike had chased away. After the fourth day, to her camera audience's amusement, she had to refuse a rather aggressive fellow's advances with a demure smile, "Oh my," she cooed, "I'd love to but you see my dad would only let me come here if I promised not to date anyone unless he personally approved." The brute looked like he wasn't to be dissuaded. She smiled again, "After touring the system when I graduated from Maxwell Mission," she held his eye, "you know on Venus," she giggled, "Daddy said that he didn't want to deal with breaking anyone's…" she put a finger to her lips, scrunching in concentration, "oh yeah, he didn't want to break any thumbs. I'm sure he was kidding, but you never know." Her lips tipped coyly as the man's slackened jaw closed, he gave nervous smile and found a new target, as far from her as possible.

"Why would he act like that about a mission school?" Spike couldn't remember the importance of the place-even after hearing the story a second time, Jet was impressed that she had found an effective cover. The men returned their attentions to the screen as another student sidled up to her, the familiar stranger just to the newer student's left.

"Holy shit! You went to Maxwell?" The young man moved closer at Faye's nod. "Wow. Oh, heh, I'm Jeff. "

"I'm Alice. It's nice to meet you."

"Wow, from Maxwell. I never thought one of **those** families would be here. Cool." Jeff gawked.

Faye dropped her smile, "I kind of like to keep my family business hush, hush. It's safer for everyone that way."

"Oh… err…" Jeff fiddled with his notebook, "So Alice, if you went to Maxwell why didn't you go on and attend Ishtar?"

Faye shrugged, "This school offered a wider variety of courses that sparked my interest." The student nodded in understanding. She winked, "Plus Daddy and my big brother, Jet are still on Venus!"

Jeff laughed, "Pretty protective, huh?"

Jet rolled his eyes, Spike grinned. _Big brother, huh?_

Faye waved her hand, "Yeah, but they mean well." Spike's memory latched onto a fleeting piece of gossip he had caught while working for the Red Dragons. He leaned towards Jet, "Maxwell is where a lot of the high ranking Syndicate leaders and politicians send their daughters, better protection…" Jet glanced at Spike who grinned, "They have exceptional results. No pregnancies, aggressive boyfriends or unwanted attention from rival organizations." Comprehension dawning Jet gave a slight chuckle at Faye's choice. Both men found Jeff's interest in Faye odd and very promising. She had made it clear she wasn't interested in dating, yet he persisted.

The unnamed stranger leaned forward, "Guess Daddy doesn't know about your coffee shop friend?"

Faye frowned confused, "No. Daddy approves of him. Not that he's really any of your business… uh… whoever you are." She straightened and shot him a disapproving once over, the stranger responded with a soft grunt and allowed the middle-man to continue.

Jet gave Spike a glance, "Guess you were noticed." Spike smirked and retrieved a smoke.

Jeff's eyes shifted between the two and nervously pressed on, "Have you been to the Three Six?" Faye shook her head. He brightened, "Oh man, you gotta come. There's this guy there that can get you some of the best shit in the universe."

Faye leaned closer to the other student, her interest peeked, eyes wide. "Like what?"

"Oh the newest stuff out there. Stuff so new that Red Eye feels nothin' more 'n eye drops!"

"Wow."

"Hey, you wanna come? I know you're dad's against you dating, but if I bring a bunch of friends it'll be a group outing." The kid grinned, "You can tell Dad it's a study group or something."

The stranger snorted, "Your coffee shop beau, Daddy approves of can play chaperone if you're nervous."

"Huh?" She decided to ignore the third wheel, smiled and nodded, "Thanks, I will."

"Great, the club's on Phobos. You can't miss it. Be there around 10:30, I'll wait with the group by the door. The bouncers shouldn't give you any trouble," he gave Faye an approving once over.

"Wow. You a VIP or something?" The student beamed.

"Nah," the man blushed, "I just got a connection." He quieted as the professor began the lecture, focusing on the first Martian settlements. Faye, took notes keeping up the appearance of a good student. The stranger opposite Faye continued glancing at her throughout the course, Jet was thrilled. She had made contact and moved them one step closer. Spike was not pleased. That stranger was more observant than was healthy, for everyone. He was definitely watching Faye closely, too closely.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Let's play dress-up

Chapter 10: The More Things Change (Cinderella)

Jet immediately set Ed to work pulling up the schematics of the club. He wanted the in and out's, certain that Kevin and his friends would show. "Well, one more day of this shit, Spike, and we won't have to bother with the university anymore. I can't believe Faye thought up the mob reference. It kept the unwanted attention away and brought us one step closer to the drug dealers." He chortled, "Made her look like a pampered innocent, just what Kevin prefers." Jet was pleased. Things were starting to look up. Spike gave a half-hearted shrug, heading to the Swordfish to collect Faye from the shop. For some reason he wasn't as thrilled about ending the school charade as he thought he'd be. He found Faye more willing to talk during the hour flight to and from the university. It was interesting to listen to her chat about what she learned or random snippets from her past. She let her guard down on the trip. He had to admit it was even fun flirting at the shop. He frowned, fairly certain that this part of her would disappear once she was back to being the bounty hunter. Spike was positive he would be missing out on something. Displeased with the sense of disappointment he blamed it on indigestion, pulling out a cigarette as he prepared for lift-off.

Spike leapt out of the MONO racer the second it touched down, leaving a confused Faye to follow. Usually, he would ask of her day in the shop or on the way back. Questioning what he had overheard in the lectures or what she had thought about students that had caught his eye. He had even gotten in the habit of helping her in and out the rust red ship. She thought he was interested, assuming there was more to the shop flirting, but with his hasty retreat decided it was just a momentary lapse in sanity. Perhaps, the cute college girl disguise helped him forget she fell into the despised category of tomboy, but she doubted it. She shrugged, _Must've gotten too involved._ Deciding he was playing a role well, for once, and that she fell for it, she uncurled from her hunched position, slithered down the wing and trailed into the main room. Spike had already taken residence on the couch, cigarette limply hanging from the corner of his mouth. She sighed as she yanked the logoed apron off, _Well, it was nice while it lasted._ Spike heard her despondent breath as she turned and shuffled down the hallway.

Snubbing his cigarette on the bottom of his shoe, he stuck the half smoked stick behind his ear and willed his body to sleep. Stubbornly it refused, his mind replaying the week's conversations, her grateful smiles as he offered a hand in and out of the Swordfish, snippets of the real Faye flickering across his closed eyes. _So the disguise was actually the real thing, huh?_ This realization recalled Ed and Jet's disclosure. Jet's grumbled commentary haunted him every time a little more of Faye's tough exterior was chipped off or momentarily misplaced. _"...Anyone would resort to such extremes in her circumstances… Her first real memory is being used and thrown away. I think deep down inside, she's more like the girl in the video." _Jet had hit the proverbial nail, head on. Why the conversation kept recurring or why he cared, was beyond him. Finally, giving up on a nap, he grouched his way towards his sure fire, meditative bliss- exercise.

While Faye was showering, Jet analyzed the layout of the club with Spike. He was nervous about any and all contact with Kevin and his associates. The more he learned, the less he wanted Faye to meet the bastards and only added to his desire to catch them. Unfortunately, Spike had withdrawn, again, causing Jet to doubt his ability to keep Faye safe. _She'd probably be fine alone._ Due to his protective nature and Faye's penchant for trouble, Jet refused to leave her fate at the club to chance. He took every opportunity while she was away to remind Spike of Kevin's questionable nature.

"Hey, Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Keep your eye out for that Kevin and Boris, remember Faye's…"

"Hey guys, already for tonight?" She wandered into the room, her hair in a towel turban. Jet had an immediate epiphany. He would force the two to stick together.

"Faye, Spike I want you to take one ship." Faye began to protest. Jet held up his hand, "Faye, I'm sure you'll be drinking and I'd rather you not try to fly back intoxicated. The last time you did you misjudged the landing and took out half the hangar."

"But I wasn't…"

He scowled and pressed on, "It took me over a month to get everything in working order and I'm still finding glitches. I don't care which ship you two take but you're only taking one." He held his index finger up to press his point.

Spike, not a fan of relinquishing control, blurted, "We'll take the Swordfish."

Faye pulled a sour face. "I'm not riding in a cramped MONO anything with him. Especially dressed for clubbing. Besides, when's the last time you showered cowboy?" Faye turned her head and folded her arms. Spike eyeballed his clothing, again, and sniffed. _What's with everyone giving me grief about my hygiene?_

"I wasn't going to go without showering." He gritted. Suppressing the desire to whine, this crap over his personal habits was wearing thin. He'd just finished working out for fuckin' Pete's sake!

"She has a point Spike, go shower and wear something besides that suit. Try casual student," Jet glowered, "please." Spike rolled upright. "And shave."

"Shirt, skirt, Spike's grosser 'n' dirt! P.U." Ed sniffed dramatically, while pirouetting around him. With a shrug, Spike slunk off, grumbling about being treated like a twelve-year-old. Faye grinned in triumph, flopping on a nearby chair to file her nails.After the silent flight from the university the previous day, Faye was not in the mood to ride several hours **alone** with him, in an uncomfortable, tightly enclosed space. Before she could protest her case, Jet disappeared- gone to check that all the surveillance equipment was operational with Ed.

Midway through scrubbing his hair Spike recalled his previous encounters with Faye. Mildly surprised, he realized they hadn't argued the whole week. In fact, a part of him deep inside, actually enjoyed the hour trip.He shrugged and returned to his lathered mop of hair. _Hmm… could be… interesting. _Grateful to be alone, Spike allowed a deviant little smirk.

Faye scuttled around her room, preparing for the evening. She decided she needed to keep up the good girl image and avoided the more mature pieces in her wardrobe. Satisfied with her selection she returned to the main room. Her lips curled up as a playful sparkle flitted across her eyes. "So," she twirled, "you guys think I'll pass?"

"Faye-Faye, does not look like she's wearing banana peels anymore!" Ed giggled as she dodged the woman's swipe. "Ed gives Faye two thumbs up and Woof-Woof Ein gives her a happy tail wiggle."

"Great, I attract dogs and insane children." Faye smiled again before glancing at Jet's smirk. She followed his gaze, "I thought all you had were boxers, that butt-ugly suit and those workout sweats!" Spike scowled. Faye gave a pleased perusal of the jeans, T-shirt and jacket. She spun to check over equipment with Ed. Jet snickered. It was hard not to miss the younger man's approving once over when Faye's back was turned. It wasn't the clean and classy style of Julia; but the mature, school girl fashion worked well. Normally, when she went out she looked like she was playing dress-up. Tonight, she looked her age and it suited her. Jet averted his gaze, when she hoisted the hem of her short skirt to conceal a weapon. He glanced at Spike, pretending to sulk in the corner, eyes locked on the exposed expanse of upper thigh. Jet couldn't help but grin, _My, my how things change._

Faye, growing antsy, began fidgeting with her necklace. Jet nodded, "I think it'll work and stop playing with that jewelry, you've already messed up one camera." Her head bobbed and her hands slid to twitch nervously in her lap. Jet shook his head, he couldn't get past the fact that this Faye, the one who didn't wear hot pants and therefore didn't reach the decibels required for a screech was hard to ignore. She had a spunky sass and a vulnerability that made her endearing. A softer version of the Faye they met over a year ago. Again he began to internally fuss over a run in with the trio while Spike moped in his corner. He frowned when Faye shivered slightly and tugged on a sweater. She disappeared, returning with a few pills.

"What're those?" He growled and pointed to the pastel meds.

"Cold pills," she sniffed slightly, "I think I might of caught a chill." She swallowed the capsules dry and made her way to the ships. She grinned, "Relax, they're non-drowsy and I don't plan on drinking." She grew serious and stilled, "Jet, I think we should go in separate ships."

"Faye, what's the big deal about taking one ship?" Jet could feel the headache setting-up camp behind his eyes.

"Jet, won't it be a little odd if we go together?" Jet was already shaking his head.

"No Faye, one ship."

"Then we should take mine!" _Mine has more room. _"The RedTail has the remote, I can give it to Spike and if anything happens he'll have a ship right at the front door."

"Yeah or inside the club," Spike could see her point but wanted an excuse to take his. "Let's just take both. That way we avoid suspicion and if I pick up anyone," _Like the punk kid that got me in this mess,_ "I have the option of dropping them off without leaving Faye high and dry." Jet was already conceding. He couldn't fight their logic; he just wanted to avoid the clean-up.

"Sounds like a plan," Faye was beaming. _I don't have to fly with Spike, I don't have to fly with Spike…_

"Fine. No property damage. None. Not even a chipped drinking glass, got it? Faye, keep in contact. I want your hidden comm on at all times." He waited for her to nod as she wiggled the earpiece over her ear. He gloated internally over his finesse- it looked just like an earring. He frowned, "Why don't you head out. Spike'll be there in a few." Faye didn't need to be asked twice. Jet turned to the younger man, "How you getting in anyway?"

"One of the back doors," Spike grinned, already pulling his gloves on.

"Spike, make sure you don't turn off the communicator. I want to be able talk with you two if necessary. And remember, Faye is not to be alone with either Lihas or Octavin," he scowled, "or that nosy weirdo from her classes. I don't care what you have to pull to keep her away. **YOU CONTINUE TO PULL IT**!"

Spike flipped his hand above his head as he headed towards the faded, red ship, "Don't wait up." Jet turned when he heard a soft whoosh from the hatch sealing and disappeared from the hanger.


	11. Chapter 11

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Clubs! Giggles! And psychos! Oh my!

Chapter 11: Devil's Dance (Metallica)

The club was impossible to miss. It was one of the few buildings on the small moon and lit brighter than necessary. Faye landed as far away as possible. Tugging the sweater tighter she began the trek to its entrance. "Hey, over here!" She smiled at Jeff, following him, the nosy man from class and several other women inside. "Come on, we'll buy you a drink." Faye glanced at the others. It was quite a mix of tastes and styles.

"Wow. What you tryin' for thirty-one flavors?" The student rubbed the back of his head while the group giggled. Faye rolled her eyes, she hated hanging out with a gaggle of girls and she highly doubted Jeff had any personal connection to the marks. Entering the club she took a moment to let her senses adjust, before glancing around to see if she could spot Spike. It was filled with noise and densely packed bodies. Empty it would seem spacious. Subdued lighting shone on the bar and tables. Dark, dimly lit booths edged the perimeter; Faye could just make out silhouettes or the occasional leg lit by pulsing lights. A second level, littered with people watching the dancers below, was accessed by two winding staircases parallel the DJ's stand. The other man grabbed Jeff's shoulders and steered him towards the nearest flight of steps. He gave a nervous titter and waved, "I've got to go meet some people. You guys have fun." The girls relaxed.

"God, I thought that dork would **never** leave," a brunette sighed.

A blonde piped in, "I only came 'cause he said he could get me in here free!"

Another girl giggled, "I thought I'd have to dance with him." Relieved of the excess baggage, the girls began deciding where they wanted to be, a few immediately dispersing. Faye remained on the fringes of the tightly packed bar feeding into spindly tables and plush couches. In between, waitresses flitted dressed in various fantasy costumes, complete with little, red, devil horns. A buxom, brunette weaved through in a tiny meter maid outfit; a leggy, red headed nurse leaned over table showcasing her assets and lacy underclothes; a green haired temptress in an old earth, military uniform made her way towards Faye's group. After ordering, Faye's gaze fell to the dance floor filled with gyrating, grinding bodies. She was not looking forward to participating in the grope fest she currently observed, but decided it would be the quickest way to ditch her adopted posse and start collecting information. _Ergh. It's so loud, I can hardly think! I hate dance clubs, I hate… _Irritably she fastened her sweater closed. The sight of a tall man with fuzzy, dark hair passed her periphery. Their eyes met, she sneezed, "Gesundheit," was breathed near her ear as he nudged her gently and made his way to stool in the corner of the bar. She glanced his way, giving him a slight smile in recognition. _Lucky jerk. He doesn't have to be felt up to make contact._

Entering the club had been easier than Spike planned. He arrived just as a burly bouncer tossed the skinny student 'with connections' out the side door. The kid looked like he'd met the wrong end of several fists. The bouncers were well practice in removing 'trash', the forced exit causing the kid to make a perfect arc before crashing head first into the dirt. Jeff sputtered, "Kevin said if I brought friends he'd pay me!" Spike grimaced as the bouncer stomped on the student's gut, the poor kid's body folding around the foot.

Spike slunk back when the man from the bookstore stepped into the dimly lit alley, "Your friends ain't nothin' Kevie found interestin'." The man sneered, "You even brought the girl we've been usin' as a safety."

The kid prepared to protest.

The man clicked his tongue, "Ah. AH. Ahhh. Be glad he doesn't throw them out too!" A second man, who Spike recognized as the nosy student, materialized next to the first and whispered in his ear. The bookstore spy stepped away. The kid prepared to argue again but met the bottom of the second man's patent leather shoe. A small packet tossed near the boy's head.

"Kevin thinks you're still useful, so get lost kid." He was offered another rough kick before the man began straightening his clothes and chatting instructions to the muscle.

Hoping the kid had a bounty, Spike buzzed Jet and let himself in. _Dumbass._ He had learned early it was best not to argue. You took the thumping silently and then waited. Revenge was so much easier, usually less embarrassing and always more fun.

Once inside he immediately caught sight of Faye near one of the trendy candlelit tables. In the strange, motley group she stood out- a goddess among mortals. Next to her a woman slightly overweight, with red-hair fidgeted. The girl was desperately trying to convey an air of comfortable cool, in clothes three sizes too small. She failed miserably and Spike found her just as odd among the trendy group as Faye. They represented both extremes. He sniggered, _The model and the misfit. _The rest of the gang obviously at ease, hungry even, and eyeballing potential hook-ups as they acclimatized. He frowned when Faye tugged her sweater a little tighter and gave a half hearted shiver. _She sick? _He gently touched her arm on his way to the bar, his way of letting her know where he'd be. They briefly made eye contact before she sneezed and returned her attention to the dance floor. He caught her arm and whispered near her ear, "Gesundheit." before fading into the crowd. He couldn't help but smirk when he heard the misfit squeal, "Oh my Goodness! You've gotta try to get with that tall guy that bumped you! He's spicy hot and sooo polite!" Faye gave a small nod, glanced his way with a lopsided smile, and quickly returned her attention to the dancers as a waitress arrived. Spike settled himself in a stool, as far from the mass of people as possible, ordered and prepared for a long night of boredom by pulling out a cigarette. He gently rolled it between his fingers. Smirked and shook his head chuckling, _Spicy huh? That's a new one._ He watched her sip her drink,_ What do __**you**__ think Faye?_

The mystery bookstore student returned, dusting off his hands. He settled in the darkest booth by the exit and slid into its black depths. "Did you deal with the moron?"

"Sure did, Kevie." The man ordered a drink.

"That purplish haired chick he met in History's pretty nice, aye Cous?"

Kevin nodded, "She's the only one from that bunch with promise." His lip curled, "What was that douche thinking?! Most of them are trash?" He gestured aggressively to a chunky red- head, "And **that** one."

"There, there. It takes all kinds. 'Sides Wolfe wanted her here, she's the cover." He giggled suddenly, "I think the hottie's friend from the shop's here." He sang, "You'll have a little competition catching this one, Cous."

"Shut up, reject!" The man accepted his drink and did as he was told. The three stilled when a man gently brushed the arm of the girl that had been chosen. Kevin's scowl deepened, _Who the hell's that?_ He snarled when he noted the new toy followed the stranger with her eyes, a small smile touching her lips. He stood stiffly, Boris in tow. The silenced partner remained in his dark corner grinning, _Let Kevie try this alone. Serves him right, asshole._

"Spike. Faye. Can you hear me?" A soft grunt and feminine cough. "Good, Ed just noticed Kevin making rounds." The cough repeated. Jet scowled. "He should pass two o'clock of Faye in 3...2... now." Jet watched the visual feed. Kevin was pale, well built and oozed mean. He sneered at the men around the bar. His eyes void expression as he openly perused the women in the club. It was obvious when he found one he was interested in, though his focus mostly on Faye. He continued to stop, study and make a comment to a smaller man following- Jet assumed by the reflection off the man's head he was Boris. Occasionally, Boris would point out a girl, only to be roughly shoved back or ignored. Both men paused just outside Faye's line of vision; it was definitely obvious. He liked what he saw, overtly studying her figure. Jet scowled when Faye sneezed again and pulled the sweater tighter. Spike felt himself tense, as the taller man licked his lips and stalked forwards, commandeering a table directly behind her.

Faye's mismatched group-mate eased over to Spike's corner. He repressed a scowl as she flopped onto a stool nearby. She batted her lashes and supplied a nervous smile. "Hi!" Spike bobbed his head and turned to study Faye. She followed the direction of his interest and gave a pathetic sigh. Quirking a brow he gave her a second glance. _She really isn't bad if she washed her face and wore clothes that fit._ She blushed at the perusal, gaining courage by the assumed interest. Leaning closer she tried again, "Hi! I'm Angie." His head bounced. "Do you… uh… know that girl that came in with me?" He broke his gaze to glance at her. "She uh… doesn't seem like the normal kind of girl," she tittered, "You know what I mean?"

Spike grinned, letting the ash fall from the tip of his smoke, "Can't say I'm a normal kind of guy."

"So, uh…" She took another nerve filled breath, "Um… why don't you go talk to her?" He frowned. "I mean… a guy like you shouldn't have to worry about catching a girl's eye." She sipped her icy-fruit drink thing. "I'm in a class with her," she twirled the straw, "She seems real nice, all the boys like her," she gave an angry glance at Faye's form, "I'm surprised they don't hand out spit rags when she's in the class."

Spike snubbed his smoke and stood. Leaving the girl to fiddle with her drink. He paused, "Quit trying so hard and you'll get noticed too." He grinned, "The guy you came in with didn't seem interested in Faye." She blushed, as he paid and watched him melt into the throng.

"I'm **very **interested in that one," he pointed, "in the mini-skirt, tight green shirt with darker sweater, hair pulled up. She's the best of the group." Kevin glanced at his shadow, who was eagerly bobbing his head in approval, before returning to his 'pick'. "Shit. She's the best in the club."

"Tony says she's from Maxwell, those girls are always fun. Usually they're pretty pampered." Kevin grinned, he couldn't help but stare at the woman's long legs and curvy figure. It was painfully clear by the way she interacted with her group she wasn't interested in them. They were too busy pointing out men and giggling, while the dark haired vixen stayed aloof, studying her environment. His expression changed slightly as the woman turned towards him to receive her drink.

"You think she's worth it, though?" His patient lackey was well aware of protocol and Kevin was veering. "Her daddy's pretty well connected. We'll need to be careful not to hurt business and that guy that's been sniffing around feels like syndicate to me. She said her dad approves of him too, that means he's connected as well." Boris tugged on his collar. "You don't want to cut our throats over a toy." He glanced at Faye's back, "Even if she's got a nice ass."

"She's perfect and business will be fine. Let's watch for a bit, just to be sure. Get me a drink." Ushering his tool away, Kevin settled, certain he could continue to watch. He nibbled idly on his thumb. He wanted to see her move, watch her and learn if she was really with someone. He hoped not. Single toys were always more fun, no hope of a knight coming to the rescue. He grinned, though it was fun to destroy any hope of rescue regardless their relationship status. Boris returned, "She came with that group, alone. No mention of a boyfriend. But the shop guy is definitely here." Kevin giggled, excited about a challenge he was certain to win and settled in to wait. He'd make his move soon.

Jet was pleased when Ed quickly hacked the club's security. He had been certain they'd have some form of protection for their clientele. Not that he minded, it made keeping an eye on the two easier and alleviated much of the older man's anxiety. He had noticed Spike's many glances in appraisal over the past week and chuckled softly over his partner's inability to react. Faye's failure to notice and his fear of being caught was laughable and highly entertaining. He broke from his thoughts when he noticed Spike still staring at Faye's new admirer. Worry quickly replaced his mirth. He hadn't anticipated Kevin finding Faye so soon nor was he expecting Spike to act possessively without heavy encouragement. Proving his assumptions were right Jet concentrated on the scene unfolding on the screen. He snorted, _What happened to aloof nonchalance, I thought he said he couldn't stand Faye._ Though he knew how Spike felt, he was shocked to actually be a witness. It was clear his partner was clutching his beer, his line of sight never wavering from the said psychopath. "Ho ho. What do we have here?" Ed giggled. Jet was slightly perturbed; any rash decisions could hurt the team and rash was Spike's middle name. _Snort. I knew he doth protest too much._ Immediately, Jet contacted Spike in hopes of breaking whatever path the younger man's thoughts had veered. He already knew Spike was itching for a fight. He hated clubs, despised playing back-up and felt canvassing tedious on the best of days. He preferred the direct approach; which, in this case, was impossible. Cooler heads had to prevail. "Spike, take a breather. If you keep staring you'll blow your cover." He heard Spike snort and Faye giggle. Turning off Faye's connection momentarily and lowering his voice to a threat, "He can't know you are more than casually interested in Faye. He hates competition that doesn't guarantee him a win." He was rewarded with a grunt and watched as Spike downed his beer, turned to the bartender and quickly started another. Spike's attention returned to Faye as she headed to the dance floor, apparently unaware of her audience.

"Hey boys, you like the show?" she teased as she began to dance.

Spike hissed, "No."

"Faye knock it off and do your job!" Jet hated when they needled each other on a canvas.

"But the mark does." Spike's voice oozed bored. Jet grumbled when Faye stiffened slightly. Spike chortled humorously, "You should be used to getting information this way."

Faye shifted her focus to Spike and smiled. She blew a mocking kiss before turning away.

"Cool it you two." Jet made Ed leave the room when Faye started gyrating seductively surrounded by several men. She kept out of reach, but definitely provided a promising show. Her gaze flicking towards Spike's corner with every slow caress she made, a small seductive smile gracing her features, until she sneezed. Jet couldn't help but grin, _She's teasing him._ She sneezed again.

Faye felt the man's attentions, without Jet's warning. She had sensed his leer the moment she entered the crowd. _It's only a matter of time._ She was used to being approached; the motions were relatively the same regardless of location. The music had a steady pulse, lyrics describing some hedonistic act or other. Faye simply copied the other women, following their movements in time to the beat. She went with the flow, trying to blend in. Having only danced in crusty night clubs and alone in her room as a kid, she began to enjoy herself and interact with the other dancers, purposely trying to look seductive and welcoming. The mass of movement was disorienting, a little dizzy Faye felt herself swept up in the fun. Playfully she would glance Spike's way, just to bug him. He always played his hand close, only getting dirty when a fight was involved. She figured it was fair play to try and get his goat. She sneezed and to her surprise the dancers immediately surrounding her took a collective step back, leaving her alone in the center. A frown crossed her features, _It was just a sneeze!_ A man slipped behind, placing a hand on her hip he ground against her backside. Shocked, Faye stilled momentarily, _This is new, _and shot Spike's location a nervous glance. She wasn't thrilled to see he had disappeared from his perch, _Guess I'll have to play without help. _She pretended not to mind and allowed the audacious bastard his way, following his forceful lead. She felt him pull her tight against his chest and lean towards her ear, "I happen to like the way you move, doll." The man's hand roamed past her hip, onto her stomach, pressing her tighter. "If you play right, I'll invite you somewhere that'll make this place seem third rate."

"Really?" She would play innocently coy, sniffling slightly. Her eyes scanning the crowd for Spike, "I happen to find this club **very** nice." She glanced at a passing waitress, "And the costumes are so cute." Faye giggled and tilted towards the man. He brushed her hair with his nose. She grimaced as another chill forced her to shiver.

"So excited." The man chuckled in her ear, "A girl like you would get bored of this scene soon enough, costumes and all. I saw you watching the others. You don't belong here," Faye groaned internally. The man oozed confidence, his glib smirk dripping into his voice. Her internal alarms screaming, she forced herself to keep calm.

"My," she repressed the urge to violently remove the man, "why do I get the feeling you're the type of guy Daddy told me to avoid?" Spike appeared across from her, slinking close. She relaxed slightly, feeling much safer.

She felt the perp tense, his focus on the approaching competition. "Because I am, pet. I am." He released her, remaining tight to her back. Spike grinned and stepped closer, ignoring the surrounding girls pressing against him. Kevin gripped her arm and jerked her back, "If you want to play with me, be nice to Boris when he buys you a drink." His grip released as he slipped away and ducked into a darkened booth. _That was uncomfortable,_ Faye thought, absently rubbing her abused bicep and trying to return her attention to dancing, Spike now taking the place of a partner.

"Think she's got potential, cousin?" The small, twitchy man leaning into the dim light took a sip of his drink. He giggled girlish, "That 'un 'id be one of my favorites." His eyes shifted towards the woman, ice clinking as he set a glass on the table. "But she's trouble."

"Not sure yet. She's playing innocent," Kevin smiled, "She'd be a fun toy, but I think I want to see how she responds to your hospitality, first." His eyes narrowed when the other man eased her closer. "Filth. Has his hands all over her."

"She doesn't seem to mind, Kevie."

Kevin's eyes narrowed, "Get the fuck out of here Anthony."

The taller man smirked, "Ahh… does the coffee shop fellow threaten you?" Anthony cackled, swallowed the last of his drink and left.

Kevin shook slightly, "She'll learn her place." His rage filled eyes shifted to Boris, "When she finishes dancing with that dick weed buy her one of our special drinks. You know the drill." He began grumbling about teaching lessons and unimportant threats.

Boris nodded, his eyes swiveling between Kevin and the dancing Faye. He sighed, Kevin was always worse when there was competition and with Anthony taking a back seat, control would be hard to maintain. Boris knew his cousin thought him a stooge, not an equal. Anthony, on the other hand, valued his little observations and insight. Though not on the same level, the tall riddle didn't treat him like crap and poor Boris loved him all the more for it.


	12. Chapter 12

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

An acid trip, or something like it.

Chapter 12: Dats What I'm Talkin' About (Cowboy Mouth)

Spike had moved in order to keep Faye in sight. As she worked her way around the floor other dancers would shift: the men trying to catch her eye, the women competing to regain their wandering attentions. She was hard to miss and impossible to ignore. Jet observed Spike's unwavering focus. _That's a first. He's taking this seriously,_ he scowled,_ too seriously. _"Hey, Spike. Kevin's just met Faye. Do you see it?" Grunt. "Keep an eye on 'em, if he's decided to make contact the chances of him pullin' something shady are good." Jet paused uncomfortably hoping his listener could fill in the blanks.

"Got it. That shit!" Jet's eyebrow rose at Spike's outburst, glancing at Faye he watched as Kevin slid behind her, molding to her back, his hands groping-he couldn't tell where- as a predatory snarl graced his thin lips. Jet was furious he wanted to let Spike, in complete agreement, drag Faye away and teach the cretin the important lesson: keep your hands to yourself. He took a calming breath, "Keep cool, Spike-o. She may get some of the info we need to catch **all **of them." They noted Faye's forced calm, occasionally an uncomfortable frown flitting across her features as her eyes shifted to Spike's empty corner. Jet smiled, at the tell-tale gesture_._

"I'd rather kick his ass and dump him in jail or better a nearby dumpster. Save us time. Boris is too stupid to hide out alone." Jet was shocked Spike was angry, another check of the cameras showed the lanky cowboy portraying a look of indifference as he edged his way through the crowd. But to his partner, Jet could see carefully timed grip and relax of the cowboy's fists, the occasional clench of the jaw and the popping of various bones as he watched the man molest Faye. Spike wasn't angry: he was ferociously livid. _Oh shit. _Kevin released Faye just as Spike broke through the crowd. A few trailing hands touching his arms before disappearing into the throng. Ed and Jet collectively sighed in relief. _Catastrophe adverted, for now._ He glanced around when he heard his exhalation in stereo, _When'd she sneak back? _He shook his head in defeat.

"Ooo lala. Ed thinks Spike person is going to get in trouble tonight, fight, deck him right, outta sight…"

Spike wove his way towards Faye, ignoring the girls who pressed against him or tried to stop him. "Dance with me." One of the girls that arrived with Faye begged. He gently brushed her off and continued towards Faye and Lihas. _Who knew she could be so…_ Spike shook his head in disgust, _Knock it off, this is Faye. _He broke through the crowd, immediately noting Kevin had removed his hands from her person. Stepping closer to the pair, Kevin roughly tugged Faye towards him, hissing something into her ear. His ferocious glare daring Spike to make a move, the moment he stepped back Spike settled in front, slipping his arms comfortably around her waist. She leaned towards him, pressing close. He tipped his face towards her ear, turning his back away from the retreating bounty and whispered into her comm, "Jet. Contact made." He grinned when Faye allowed him to lead. She felt warm, too warm. His grip tightened as he eased her closer, catching small hints of orange floating off her hair. She rested her ear softly on his chest, noting the pleasant hint of his cologne and smoke. She absently hoped for another slow song, it was nice not to have to think of him as a sparring partner. His cheek settled on her forehead, "Lihas will have a shit hemorrhage over this," he chuckled. Faye chose to ignore him and pretend this was the norm. She knew you took pleasantries when they came. Spike was busy trying to decide if she was feverish or just warm from dancing in her sweater. Deciding he couldn't do anything about it one way or the other his grip tightened and he enjoyed the next song. You took the good when you could. The third song ended, his grip eased and he began stepping away. His head bobbed towards the bar. With a small nod she began moving in the crowd to the faster pace.

Jet's voice crackled through the comm, "Nice job scaring Lihas away… You… liked…you?" Spike flipped the device off. It wasn't worth the headache to try and decode staccato Jet speak. A few songs later Faye left the throng and made her way towards the bar, she looked exhausted. She greeted Spike politely as she slid onto a neighboring stool and ordered. She coughed a few times into a napkin, her head propped on her fist. Spike frowned, she looked miserable. He glowered when the small, bald, toad of a man he'd seen shadowing Lihas sat on the stool next to her. Boris was even more pathetic and uncomely in person. Gently, said amphibian tapped her shoulder and smiled when she faced him.

"Hi. I'm Boris," the guy tilted his head towards a booth shrouding Faye's previous dance partner. Spike's eyes slid in the same direction.

"Hello, Boris." Faye gave her most becoming smile. "I was told you were going to buy me a drink."

He nodded.

She shifted, "So, Why do I feel like this is an interview?" Again, she smiled leaning towards the gollum.

"Eh… My cousin over there is a bit shy and wanted me to get to know you before…" Boris shot Spike a look, trying to gage if the man was listening or not. Spike lit a cigarette, feigning more interest in the scantily clad waitresses. Satisfied Boris grinned, "Heh. You know he's taken quite an interest in you. Would love it if you could spend some time with him," Boris's eyes drifted down her figure, lingering on the choicest parts of her anatomy before shooting back to her eyes. Spike caught the look, the only indication an aggressive flick of his cigarette. "Anyways, my cousin wants to know what your preferences are and if you'd be interested in spending time with him at one of his selective parties?"

Faye giggled, "What is this, the dating game?" Boris shifted. "Why can't your cousin get to know me himself? He had no trouble dancing with me." Another nervous shift.

"Do… do… do you have preferences?"

Faye cocked an eyebrow, "In what?" Teasing, she uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, noting the little man's attention locked on the hem of her tiny, denim skirt. Spike caught the focus too. "You mean in men or women?" she put a finger to her chin, "most of the time men. Beer or wine? It depends on the company. Recreational hobbies? Depends on my mood," she coughed into a napkin, "You need to be specific, fella. Generally, I'm not opposed to experimenting. Daddy's a bit too regimented for my comfort, if you catch my drift."

"Ah. I see you understand." Boris's eyes shrunk to pinpricks, his smile gaping.

"I like to keep my options open. I guess you could say I'm game to try anything… once," Faye took an unnecessarily long pull from her bottle before pulling out a cigarette. Boris jumped to light it, staring intently at her mouth.

"Good. My cousin will be pleased Miss?" Boris leaned forward, trying to catch Faye's name and sneaking a peek down her blouse. She smiled and lowered her head to meet his eyes, "I think I'll keep my name a secret until your cousin introduces himself." She winked, "I'm shy too," and pulled her face away.

Boris, a bit stunned, usually they were a little freer with information, and unable to concentrate, too busy admiring to pay attention, he gave a numb shake of his head before he scrambled back to the previously indicated booth. Spike's eyes followed his retreating form, seeing the toad man duck into shadow. He returned his attention to Faye, "That was odd," his mouth hidden behind his drink. Faye nodded and sniffled slightly before taking a sip of her own. Glancing at Spike's reflection she watched as her voyeur materialized. Quietly he slid himself between the two bounty hunters slipping a small business card into the back pocket of Faye's skirt. Spike nearly throttled the man when his hand gave a unwelcomed squeeze. Faye stiffened uncomfortably.

Lihas snickered and wrapped his arm around her waist his hand resting at the side of her thigh, "So you really are shy, hmmm? Read it when you get home, pet." Turning his attention to Spike, his voice low, "I'd suggest you keep your eyes and filthy, fucking hands to yourself," a vicious grin slashing his face, "Wouldn't want an accident on your way out."

"Didn't know there was a law against looking," Spike shrugged and openly ogled Faye. The creep visibly bristled. Spike grinned, "She doesn't seem to mind me touching her either, do you Alice?" Spike chuckled when Faye pinked.

Kevin bristled, "There isn't a law, just some friendly advice puke." He leaned closer to Spike, "Heads up shit head, this bitch is **mine**. Got it?" Spike bounced his shoulders unfazed by the malevolence personified. Kevin pretended to brush him off and turned a friendly smile to the barman, "Give the lady another. Make it **my** specialty and add it to my tab." The barman gave a nervous nod, turning his back to the crowd. Satisfied Kevin returned his attention to Faye, "This is just a sample," He touched her cheek. "See me when you finish and let me know if it helps you relax and loose some of your shyness." With a slight smile, "I'm Kevin by the way, and you are?"

Faye returned his smile, subtly turning her face from his hand to accept her new drink, "Wouldn't it be more fun to keep me a bit of a mystery, until next time?" Kevin's congenial mask slipped slightly. Sensing she had pushed her luck, she smiled again and giggled, "I thought my friend over there," she bobbed the drink towards Spike, "already gave you my name." She proffered a hand, "I'm Alice. It's nice to meet you Kevin."

Relaxing, Kevin smiled _Ahh... I see why Boris fucked up my instructions, _leaning towards Faye, "Oh, I thought you'd have better taste than…" He jerked behind him then grinned as he caught her hand, "I'm pleased to meet you, pet." The last word, whispered across Faye's skin which promptly attempted to crawl off. She smiled, pulling away from the man to take a sip. "Til next time, my choicest piece."

"Yeah, next time," Faye patted the small card in her pocket keeping an eye on Kevin. She snorted when he ducked into the dark booth. "What the hell 'm I a piece of meat or something." Flustered and cranky she took a sip from the new glass.

"Don't drink that Faye," Spike's eyes met hers through the bar's mirror. She shrugged, took another swallow and pulled a face.

"Urgh," she smiled at the bartender studying her, just catching Spike's soft chuckle, "This is interesting," she lifted the glass. "Please tell Kevin thanks, it tastes like shit." The bartender's head bobbed, his eyes darting between the two before attending to his customers, "I hate crap that uses almond flavoring." Faye swiveled on her stool to study the dancing crowd absently toying with the cocktail. She tried to take another sip, she needed to finish it so she could get closer to the mark. Spike stood, slipped and knocked the offensive substance from her hand.

"Oops." He chuckled, poorly playing the role of a drunk. He couldn't believe Faye would continue to drink what the sociopath offered. _Is she stupid? She already implied it tastes bad. _Shooting an apologetic smirk, " S'rry 'bout that. C-can you help me out?" Wobbling he grabbed Faye's arm and led her towards an exit. His grip left no room to argue.

Kevin prepared to chase the offensive man with his property. Spike grinned when he caught Kevin's eye. Just for the hell of it, he pressed Faye against a wall and kissed her. He frowned, she was burning up and her lack of a snarky retort was troubling. Pulling away slightly he studied her listing form, "What the hell's wrong with you?" She shivered in response and coughed.

Boris attempted to place a restraining hand on his cousin's shoulder, "She'll make the invite, Cous. Don't worry. He's too drunk to do anything with her. Damn guy's a' idiot." Boris snorted, "Look at him. Just relax. You'll get her."

Kevin slid back onto the bench, "I hope you're right Boris. For your sake." Boris twitched slightly, Kevin really hated losing.

Jet was having a conniption fit. _What the hell's Spike doing? Why are they leaving?! Why isn't the comm working?! _"Spike. Faye. Come in!" He chucked the equipment, "Damn worthless pieces of trash. Ed can you tell what they're up to?"

Ed was furiously working on the computer, while slowly shaking her head. "Nothing to see outside."

"Dammit."

Spike pulled further away, a concerned frown marring his features. "Can you help me out?" His fingers encircled her arm, firm but not bruising unlike the bounty's.

"Uh. Sure," Faye was confused. _Why'd he kiss me? Why's he worried? __The drink tasted odd, but it came straight from the bartender, why would he throw it…_ Faye's world spun slightly. _Did I drink more than I thought? _Mentally shrugging she accepted her role as Good Samaritan. "Where's your ride?"

"This way." When the exit door closed, Spike released Faye. Carefully, he studied her from the side. She appeared drunk, but he was certain it wasn't from the quantity she imbibed. Having witnessed, first hand, the amount of alcohol she could consume with few repercussions he felt the first signs of worry begin niggling at him over her increasingly docile and inebriated state. Fiddling with the RedTail's remote he'd slipped off her wrist as she 'helped' him out, he set its coordinates for the Bebop. His eyebrows rose at the realization she hadn't caught him, crashing down when Faye fell and began giggling between coughs.

He called Jet. The man's furious snarl ripping over the airwaves, "Leaving so soon?" Jet was livid over the equipment glitch while Faye was talking to the two men. Though he had to admit he was relatively pleased with the outcome. He was able to collect current images of Lihas, it appeared Faye was invited to another location and the kid Spike passed on his way in earned the Beboppers a little extra spending money plus- he was carrying narcotics. It was a decent night.

"We got a slight problem, Jet." His voice distant while he pulled at something by his feet, Jet's mood plummeted further as he strained to decipher the groans, coughs and rustling. "Kevin slipped Faye somethin' or those cold pills reacted to something she drank or both."

"What?! You were supposed to **not** let her accept **anything** from **that **guy! When?"

"At the bar. I warned her after she took a sip. When she went for more she dropped it," Spike's pleased tone explained the clumsiness. He shrugged, "She only had about half the glass. Two or three swallows at most." Jet was seething. _How'd that cretin get something past us? He never gave anything to Faye directly. Was it on the dance floor?_ He took a breath as Spike continued, "Whatever she's got in her is pretty damn potent."

"Shit. Get back here so we can figure out what the hell's wrong."

"Already sent the RedTail back." Spike disconnected and collected an incoherent Faye off the sidewalk. "Dammit Faye. I wish you hadn't walked into this one," He sighed and tugged her up.

Her head lolled loosely, "I hadda finnnissshhh the drink to talk to 'im." She giggled and slipped, "Jet s'd to g't infor…" she scowled, "infoam… informa…" unfocussed eyes swiveled his way, "you know!"

Spike rolled his eyes as he held her steady. "I thought you knew clubbing protocol, Faye."He scowled, she'd followed the rules she just didn't know with this group they were different. She tripped again, _You wouldn't have walked into this if I'd done my job_. By the time they reached the Swordfish, Spike had given up letting her walk. She was draped over his shoulder having an in depth conversation with his lumbar, shivering slightly. He jumped when someone grabbed his backside and squeezed. "Faye, that's not yours." She giggled and tried again. Frustrated with the outcome of the evening, he unceremoniously dropped her onto the racer's floor. After another burst of shivers he draped his jacket over her, pulled on his gloves, sealed the hatchand set the coordinates.

Her head settled on his thigh and she began mumbling. Her speech slurred and garbled, "What 'm I s'pose do?" Spike prepared to answer, she cut him off. "…sn't notice me **that** way." She coughed, "I know. I KNOW!" Rubbed her face. "Spicy?" Snort. "Guess it's in the eyes of…" she giggled, tilted her head, eyes still closed, "well, ok. Shhh! Secret! He's a slob. Lazy…" Her head flopped to the side, "What? Give me a break! …steals my coffee, works out…" a light flush, cough and nod, "Yeah… not bad like that. Grr! Yes, I watched! It's hard not to, he's focused and…" Touching her lips, "Uh huh, when's sleep on th'c'ch. But isn't… want… never… never ever, never…" She slipped out of semi-coherent phrasing and returned to soft, quiet breathing punctuated by coughs and sniffles. Spike having witnessed the one sided conversation found he had quite a bit of new information to decipher. His hand bumped her forehead, she was still warm. He sighed and contemplated her ramblings, idly combing through the soft locks strewn across his lap. He chuckled, _Didn't that chunky girl call me spicy earlier? _


	13. Chapter 13

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Coded secrets in the middle of the night.

Chapter 13: Voices (Disturbed)

"Spike. Spike. Come in." The RedTail had recently docked, sans Faye.

"Yo."

"Spike, where the hell is Faye? Why wasn't she…" Jet paused when a feminine hand whipped across the screen and cocked an eyebrow. "I thought she was a big girl, could take care of herself?"

"Shut up, Jet. I wasn't going to let her fly alone. Whatever's wrong has knocked her on her ass." He furrowed his brow, "I don't think it was supposed to though. Probably meant to loosen her up and get her to talk. Kevin said it'd help her relax." He grinned, chuckling, "She was pretty tight lipped at the club. He had to work for a fake name that I gave him." He glanced at something off screen and grumbled, "Either she was slipped too much accidentally or it's having an odd reaction."

Jet was glad the ships had view screens, by the thrashing and Spike's frustrated expression Faye was in sorry shape. He tried to peek at the small splash of hair visible in the lower corner of the screen. Frowning he glanced at this partner, "What's she doin'?"

Spike studied the floor, pulled a face, and returned his gaze to Jet's image, "She's drooling all over my leg." He shrugged, Jet looked lost. "She's asleep, babbling and coughing." Faye's wheezing followed, proving his point. "She's feverish too." He pulled a disturbed face when the hacking persisted.

"How soon 'til you get here?"

Spike checked his instruments, "Five minutes. Give or take."

Jet rubbed his head, "Fine. Set her on the couch when you get back." The screen blanked.

Jet was not pleased, minimally relieved but far from pleased. Any shred of a decent mood over the evening's events napalmed the second the RedTail had docked minus a pilot.

"Ed," he looked from his disconnected comm towards the laptop crowned with disheveled, coppery hair, "You heard what Spike said." She nodded still watching the video feed from the club, "Send the video of Faye at the bar to the largest view screen. I want to go over it with Spike. Start seeing what you can find about drugs with this kind of reaction," he noticed Ed's nervous twitch and lack of playful singing.

Her eyes broke from the screen, "But scary man has just hurt the drink man." Jet glanced at what Ed was viewing. "Ed saw the drink man sprinkle pink powder in Faye-Faye's drink."

"What?! Why didn't you say anything?"

"Ed was not asked. She does not know what goes in grown-up drinks. Ed is just a kid."

"Shit!" Jet punched the wall, Ed squeaked. "_Sigh_. Is Lihas still there?" Ed gave a negative shake.

"He left after the big, meaty men took the trash out." Jet had a good guess what was in the trash. Ein softly nuzzled an available arm. She smiled at the gesture and gazed up. Nervous worry marring her normally happy visage.

Jet sighed, "She's fine, Ed. She's with Spike. You know he won't let anything happen to her if he can help it."

"Spike-person does not like Faye," Ed's worry dissolving, her fingers already typing. Ein staring at the screen as the search resumed.

"You and I both know that's not true." Ed paused. "He's just too chicken shit to admit it, even to himself."

Ed's face split into a pleased grin, he felt a slight swell of relief. "Ed thinks Papa-Jet-person is right and a better poet 'n Spike." He chuckled, shrugged and went to round up first aid kits, cold medicine and the ancient drug dictionary he had floating around- with Spike's penchant for injury and self-medicating it was wise to know what substances were safe to mix with which. Hopefully, he'd find something of use. Ed's running dialog with Ein followed him down the hallway, transferring seamlessly to white noise. _Spike better be careful. He's slipping. _Jet chuckled.

He was in the hanger the moment the Swordfish docked, not pleased. Spike's five minutes had turned into thirty. The reason: "I said give or take." No sooner was the hatch released then the large man scooped up Faye, her limp hand smacking Spike in the ear as Jet rushed her into the Bebop's innards. "Damn. She's burning up." At the hatch he yelled, "ED! Get some blankets." At the sound of hustling feet he glanced at his partner, "Spike, once Faye's settled go over Ed's findings and try to figure out what she was slipped."

"No luck yet?" Spike caught up to the weighed down man.

Jet leveled an irritated frown, "We think it's one of the newer designer drugs. A type of hybrid. Ed found an message to Kevin that explained if the drug was mixed with alcohol it was nearly impossible to taste. They weren't sure. He replied that he would test it, tonight."

"Huh."

Jet laid Faye on the yellow couch, noting Spike's jacket. "Eh... You want that back or should I leave it with her?" He pointed to the dark sleeve Faye was cuddling.

"Leave it." With a shrug Spike turned, just missing a blanket laden Ed. Exiting the room he frowned, _Was that off my bed? _

"Ed, is that Spike's?" She glanced at the older man with innocent eyes.

"Jet told Ed to get Faye-Faye a blanket. Ed is not allowed in Faye-Faye's room," she took on a serious face, "without permission since the bugs," the silly grin returned, "so Ed took Spike's. He has not banned Edward, silly Lunkhead." She spun and swayed. Jet snatched the blanket before it fell, tucking it around Faye.

"He's not going to be happy."

"Happy about what?" Spike popped the cap off his beer, lowering into the chair by the view screen, Ed hovering by Faye.

"Spike-person, Jet?" Both men glanced her way.

"Yeah Ed." She was staring intently, listening to Faye mumble.

"Faye-Faye is not acting like she does when she drinks or when she's sick." Ed leaned closer to Faye's mouth. She stood and whispered, "She's telling secrets."

Jet's eyes widened as he tuned in to the running monologue. "…I don't care if he is… he doesn't… NO… Nope. I'm… screw up. Ask…" She tightened her grip on the jacket, "Think they'll leave me?" Sniffle. Cough, "Don't tell them but..." Shrug, "I like the kid and the dog …" giggle, "Je's fussy... Spike…" She scratched at her forehead, "Uh huh… guess. W's watchin' 'night. I..." Smile. Spike's eyes widened as he glanced at the other two. She coughed and turned, "Didn't mind, did he?" She shivered, "No. Can't. No, no, nononono…" again she slipped into nonsensical noises. Though it seemed nothing more than verbal diarrhea, her lapses into coherent phrases made the two men seriously consider Ed's evaluation. Jet glanced at Spike before focusing again on Faye, worried over her predicament and unsure what to do.

Spike set his lighter to the end of his cigarette, "She did that earlier too."

"Huh, it's the damnedest thing." The older man shrugged, glancing at the woman on the couch, she rolled away from the audience. Jet secured the blanket, again, and noticed a card peeking out her pocket. _What's this? _Picking up the piece of litter, he taunted, "Just think of what you might learn the next time she starts?" He grinned at the unruffled Spike before absently glancing at the card.

"What's this?" Jet shrugged, passing the card to Spike.

Flipping the card over, "Looks like a business card." He frowned at the scrawled message, "Blue Suede. Ten o'clock, Sunday."

"Where did it come from?"  
"Lihas."

"WHAT? You're kidding me?" Spike contemplated the card, Jet glanced at a flushed Faye.

"Ed, find out what the Blue Suede is. Keep an eye on Faye while I get something to cool her down a little." Instructions given Jet disappeared, leaving Spike and Ed to wait.

Ed held her hand out for the card. Glancing at Faye, "Ed **still **thinks she's telling secrets!" The hacker bubbled bouncing away from her perch by Faye's head.

"Secrets about what?" Spike sipped his beer, peeking at the hacker. She just wiggled her eyebrows as she mimed zipping up her mouth, before turning to the computer.

"Has she said anything else?"

Spike shook his head. "Nothing." He had wanted to hear more, still unsure who she was referring to. He had a sinking suspicion he knew the mysterious slob quite well- personally even. He had no doubt the others knew what she was talking about, _At least Ed knows._ Jet was grinning. He knew this wasn't the first time she'd said something in front of Spike, the cowboy's thinly veiled interest gave him away. Spike shrugged. He wanted to brood. Squelching his cigarette under foot he brushed off Jet's "Hey! That's what ashtrays are for!" and headed towards the door. Ed's excited yip stopped him cold.

"Ed has found it! Ed found what Faye-Faye was given!!" Unable to contain herself she began twirling, and flipping about the room. Ein happily nipping at her heels; Jet snatched the laptop and read the screen with an increasingly grim expression.

"Looks like you did," Ed's smile grew exponentially and she began using Spike's stiff form as a jungle gym. Peeling the excited child off, he meandered back to Jet.

"Any side effects?" He glanced over the big man's shoulder, attempting to ignore the clinging Ed and circling Ein.

Jet nervously rubbed his head, "Huh. Never heard of this crap. They call it 'Peach'."

"What kind of stupid name is that? Isn't that some fuzzy fruit from Earth?"

Jet nodded and began searching dictionaries, "It can also mean to blab, archaic usage. Probably a play on the color. Ed said it was pink."

"Huh. So it's like a truth serum?"

"Yeah, kind of. Says it's a mix of burundanga, morphine and cyanide. It causes hallucinations or delirium, lowers inhibitions and twilight sleep." He read a bit more, "If given the right amount the person becomes drowsy and easily manipulated. Too much and it ends up making the person…"

"Knock out and spill coded secrets like Faye-Faye!" Ed cackled, taking a glance at the huddled form on the couch.

"Or kills them."

"Side effects?"

Jet gave a mean little scoff, "She's going to have one hell of a headache in the morning. She's gonna stay feverish too. It'll make a hangover after one of your drinking contests seem like nothin'. From the ingredients Ed could dig up it doesn't mesh well with the shit in that cold pill. The bartender probably gave her too much. That's why he's dead and she's unconscious." He glanced at her, "We'll be lucky if she doesn't puke up half her guts in tomorrow. Once she's up and eaten, we'll get her settled in her room and do a little leg work."

"Won't Ed be a problem?"

Jet glanced at the girl. "No, she's pretty attentive when it comes to Faye anymore." Spike couldn't hide the shock. Jet chuckled, "and she's learned what is considered off limits." Ed had the decency to look a tad ashamed.

"Ed said she did not mean to kill half the flowers."

"Trees Ed." He snickered, "Messed with the light setting and burned them to a crisp. Faye helped her earn some money and she bought a cactus to make up for it." He smiled kindly at Ed, ruffling her hair. Spike just gaped. Scenes of companionable home life had never been the norm before and since when did Faye willingly help someone without monetary compensation earn money?

"What the hell happened while I was healing?" Jet and Ed shrugged before returning their attentions to a thrashing Faye. Ed carefully, wetted the towel that slipped from Faye's head and returned it. Jet wandered off to find a bucket incase she decided to succumb to nausea in a few hours, and Spike stood stunned, staring at the cock headed corgi. "Where am I?!" Ein tilted his head to the opposite side. Frustrated and confused, he grumped off to his room, to collect some various herbs to help remove some of Faye's congestion. He sighed in the doorway, _At least nothing in here's changed._ That's when he noticed his missing blanket. "ED!!"


	14. Chapter 14

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

The snapping teeth of justice!

Chapter 14: Toccata in Teeth

Faye tentatively stirred. Someone was staring at her and touching her forehead. She rolled facing her back to the unnervingly rude audience. She heard movement and felt someone lean over. Cracking open an eye she was met with two amber orbs. Flailing to distance herself from the eye monster, she heard a stifled giggle. "Ed?" Focus returning she glanced around the main room, "Ed what the hell?! Why're you… ungerahhh…" she sunk back under the blanket, curling into a ball and wishing she were dead. She wrinkled her nose at the potent, medicinal aroma trapped in the bedding. Ed plunked the bucket close by. Faye coughed a few times, wincing at the ripping sensation in her chest and throat.

"Papa Jet thought you might up-chuck, so here's a barf bucket." Ed grinned, retreating to a safe distance in case Faye did decide to puke. She pointed to a bowl of salve, "That goop'll help Faye-Faye breathe." Faye glanced at the greenish goo. Ed grinned, "Spike made it." Another round of coughing.

"Ed was that Faye I heard just a minute ago?" Ed nodded as Jet entered the room, looking down at the huddled form. "Faye, you need to eat something so I can give you some meds." Faye peered from under her cocoon, blood shot eyes pleading.

"No food."

"Yes food, you ate nothing last night, you've been working yourself ragged enough to catch the flu, were slipped a nasty drug in your drink that reacted to your half assed attempt with cold pills, passed out from the drug interactions..."

"And babbled secrets about spicy men, and good happy feelings all night."

"Spike, damn, a little tact?" Said man simply shrugged and continued to hassle the pathetic bump. Jet glanced at Faye, "The crap you had made you delusional."

She blinked. Spike ignored him, "So Faye," his eyes twinkled, "Who is this mysterious guy who thinks you don't exist?" Faye burrowed deeper into the blanket. _If I close my eyes he'll think I'm dead and leave._ Spike tugged the blanket off her face. "Playing dead only works on bears, Faye." _Damn._ "Don't you feel like sharing? You left so many questions." She scrunched her face and rolled towards the back of the couch, willing her body between the cushions; begging her head to stop pounding, her throat and chest to stop burning. Spike continued, "But Faye, we have a right to know. You mentioned each of us…" Faye flapped an arm behind her, trying to chase Spike away. The movement jostled her and she let out a pathetic wheeze. Ed and Jet watched his game with a mixture of shock and horrified amusement. Jet wanted to know what Faye was thinking, Ed already knew.

"Spike," Faye whined, "Please leave me alone and let me sleep." Faye retrieved the quilt, pulling it up to her head again. "It was probably an old memory from a guy I liked in junior high." She squinched her eyes shut, "You always feel invisible at that age." She hoped the lie worked.

Spike reached for the edge of the quilt tugging it roughly from her haggard form. "Faye, I think you need to share. Everyone's dying to know." She whined pathetically, squinting at his backlit body.

"Spike, please… ungh… g-g-give me the blanket and let me rest. I-I don't remember anything after you spilled my drink." She gingerly tugged the blanket back over her head.

"That's too bad Faye. I thought you'd at least remember us kissing and copping a feel when I carried you out of the club." Jet, shocked, glanced at Spike. _I think he's serious!_ Preparing to steal the blanket one last time, Spike inched his hand closer to her head. "Ouch! Ed! What the **hell** do you think you're doing?" Jet gasped and Faye peered wearily from her nest.

"Eb finths Sssthpike stood heave Fffaye-Fffaye along." Ed's latch on Spike tightened slightly, warning the cowboy of her will to maim if provoked.

"Spike, you should probably do as she asks. I for one won't help you when she draws blood." He turned his attention to the hacker turned guard dog, "Ed, be careful. I don't want you getting hurt." Ed saluted around Spike's arm, Jet turned to leave. "Faye, I'm going to bring you some eggs and toast." She groaned. He sighed, "Try to eat it. I'll give you something for the bitch of a headache I'm sure you've got and the nausea." He met her shocked, blood-shot eyes, "Got it?" She swiveled her eyes towards Ed and Spike, just processing what was happening. Jet sighed in the doorway, "At least the fever broke."

"Ed what are you doing?" She rasped, shocked. Spike looked ready to burst.

"Sssthpike wooood't heave Fffaye-Fffaye along." Spike's jaw was tightening, his free hand clenching and releasing. Desperately he was trying to control the desire to throttle the kid. _She's just a kid, just a kid, just a psychotic, sharp toothed mongrel latched to my wrist!!_

"Ed," Faye was careful not to complicate matters or encourage the pounding behind her eyes. Her voice strengthened, "Ed." She winced at the increase in pressure, but waited until Ed's eyes swiveled towards her. Spike remained rigid. "Ed, could you please ask Jet to make some tea?" Ed's latch decreased slightly. "Please Ed. It always helps me when I feel sick and go grab a rag so I can use this funny smelling gunk on the table." Faye gave Spike another nervous glance noting the slight movement of his jaw as he ground his teeth. _If he keeps that up he'll break something or someone._ Spike was desperately trying to count down from a million, hoping it would relieve some murderous intent.

Ed released suddenly, "Ok Faye-Faye." She shot Spike a nasty look, "Spike-person, be nice to Faye-Faye or Ein Woof-Woof will get you." Ein whined, backing away from the simmering cowboy. Spike was intently studying the bruising imprint of teeth as she zipped out of the room growling and hissing.

"She didn't break the skin, did she?" Faye was shocked at Ed's behavior. Not expecting such a reaction in her defense. He was still staring at the appendage turned chew toy, unconsciously he shook his head. "Good. I was afr… unghhh!" She grabbed the bucket just in time. Spike a bit peeved over being bitten, felt his ire grow, Faye was throwing up wrapped in **his** blanket with one of his jackets somewhere in the mess. Grumbling, "That shit on the table will sting a little when you put it on, but it'll clear out your sinuses," he stalked out of the room. Faye, just processing his instructions, gave a pitiful glance at the bowl and a pained groan of understanding.

Ed's reaction had thrown everyone, especially Spike. He assumed when the kid attacked that Jet would step in. The older man's lack of concern towards the situation only flustered him more. _What the hell is wrong with everyone?! Since when do they worry about Faye?_ Deciding that some shadow boxing would alleviate his pent up aggression he made his way to the observation deck. He smiled as he remembered Faye's admission the night before, _No audience today._

After throwing up, Faye felt better and Spike's glop really did help clear the congestion. Jet chuckled, relieved to see color returning to her features, "Bet you got rid of some of that shit you ingested." He grinned as she ate slowly filling her in on the day's plans. He and Spike were going to check out the club scribbled on the business card. Faye giggled at the name and asked if she should tag along to meet with Kevin. Jet shook his head. She wouldn't be any help. There would be unknown side-effects and she was still sick. Besides, he didn't need her to get a few drinks and start spouting information that would damage the job or fall asleep flying. And he definitely didn't need the indigestion from keeping an eye on Faye with Lihas and stopping Spike from snapping the man's neck. When she began to yawn, Jet ushered her down the hall to her room. Handing her the blanket and the bowl of home-made vapor rub, "Ed should be around if you need anything. Keep your comm on and nearby." Faye nodded, fighting a losing battle with sleep. "Rest, that medicine I gave you will knock you out for several hours." He frowned, "You need the sleep. Ed says you've been burning the candle from both ends." Smiling weakly, Faye clicked her door shut and crawled onto her bed, pulling the couch blanket with her. Jet made his way to the hanger, disabling the RedTail. He didn't want to risk Faye deciding they needed her help or that she could do it alone. He jumped, banging his head on the open panel when he heard a lighter flick.

Rubbing the sore bump he glanced at the entrance to see Spike, fresh from the shower towel still draped over his shoulders. He could just make out the purpling, circular bruise.

"Looks like Ed got ya pretty good there Spike-o." Jet chuckled hiding the ignition switch in his tool box. "Thought you were always ready for an attack."

Spike pulled a face and exhaled, smoke rising around his head. "Kid surprised me. I thought I didn't have to watch my back here when Faye was incapacitated." His tone was bitter.

Jet's smile faded, "Look Spike, I know you were trying to stir Faye up for shits and giggles but you need to cut it out." Spike raised an eyebrow; he didn't cross any lines he hadn't pushed before. "Ed's been a bit clingy since we retrieved her from Earth. She wouldn't leave Faye alone for a month after, always shadowing her." He scowled, "Things didn't go well for her there and I think she was afraid Faye would slip out like she used to." Spike nodded. Jet kept his focus on his hands, "She hasn't left like that since we brought **you** back. Not even to go gambling." Jet's face grew serious, "I thought you were dead and I'd given up, I figured you'd blown yourself to hell with the rest of the Red Dragons where you all belonged." He shrugged unapologetic, Spike would understand, "Faye wouldn't hear of it though and after I threatened to kick her off the ship for another debt collector thumpin' on the hatch we struck a deal. She agreed to pay off her debt, the hard way, if I went with her to get Ed." He shook his head, "I don't know how that kid got wrapped up in such a shit hole, but from what I could get from Faye she had to take out several unpleasant people to reach her." He chuckled, "She came back black and blue. Ed was even thinner, rope burns on her neck, wrists and ankles." He frowned, "I'm certain Faye took out most of the place and the ring leaders." He wiped his hands, "Anyway, after Ed was back, Faye had her search for a John Doe with your description. The rest is history." Jet shrugged, returning his attention to tools. Spike hadn't a clue what instigated the history of Bebop. His time away was fits and starts. He remembered falling, waking briefly in the hospital, then coming to on the Bebop with a familiar, female face hovering over him. After waking, life aboard Bebop had been the norm, except for the odd sense of unity between the other three or the occasional snippets that would pop out about Faye or Ed. He scowled, uncertain he was comfortable with the new information.

"Why would she do that Jet? That isn't like Faye."

"No it **wasn't**, but you heard what she said last night. I think when you left… I don't know, something clicked, snapped, whatever." He shook his head. "We're probably the first people she's come across that she knew what to expect. I mean we let her go, instead of collecting the bounty on her. It must have triggered somethin'."

Spike snorted, "That's why she always came back? I thought it was 'cause you kept feeding her."

"Yup. Just like a cat." Jet finished wiping his tools, "You ready to go check out the club?" Spike nodded, disappearing to retrieve his shirt. He found his jacket from the night before a crumpled mass on the couch. Slipping it on, he turned back for the hangar.

"Spike-person?"

"Hmm?"

"Papa Jet told Ed she should say sorry for biting you." Ed looked at her toes drawing circles on the floor. "But Ed thinks Spike-person was a meanie weenie." Her forehead scrunched, she glanced up.

Spike grinned, exposing the bruise. "You got me pretty good, kid. I didn't even see it coming." She brightened, "How about next time you warn me **with words** before you attack and we'll call it even?"

Ed nodded, apparently pleased with the outcome of her apology. She scooped Ein up, heading off to play in the bowels of the ship.


	15. Chapter 15

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Mysterious woman (?) in black.

Chapter 15: Lady Wore Black (Queensryche)

Both cowboys landed in the Blue Suede parking lot. Loud, soulful music slipped from the doors. Jet hunched his shoulders and steered towards the door. Spike, lighting a cigarette, followed. Music surrounded them the moment they passed the threshold. Looking for a source, Jet found a svelte, dark haired woman singing on a dimly lit stage, behind her a small band; the metal of the horns glinting with the players' movements. Finding an empty table in a corner both men sat, the wall to their backs, and carefully began surveying the space. The club was filled, men and women visiting, drinking and eagerly waiting for the evening headliner. Jet directed Spike's attention to a booth tucked next to the stage, the cowboy grinned recognizing Lihas's toady little associate. Jet scowled, recognizing the idiot student from the college. Signaling a waitress to order a bottle of whiskey, he slid back in his chair, head settling against the wall. There was another man speaking animatedly with Lihas he recognized from the school. From the look of things, they were discussing business or lack thereof, while the two lackeys happily watched the stage.

Spike snorted, his drink clinking softly on the table, "Looks like business isn't running smoothly." He grinned, "And then he'll get stood up," He took a drag of his smoke. Jet shook his head in mock pity as he watched Spike's intense scrutiny of their goal. It was apparent, he wasn't interested in Boris or the other two, in his opinion the only one that mattered was Kevin. He was owed a world of hurt. Jet cleared his throat, "Let's see what this place is about, nose around then take out our boys." Spike's eyes swiveled towards him, before returning to study Kevin. Jet shrugged, focusing on the stage. The lights dimmed.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the crowd hushed, "the Blue Suede is pleased to introduce Annie Gamma!" The room erupted as a drum beat began. A spot light illuminated a large, well endowed woman dressed in a clingy, black coat. Spike irritably rolled another cigarette between his thumb and forefinger. The music swelled as the performer shifted. Slowly, she unbuttoned the covering. The hoots and hollers growing to a feverish pitch with every clasp sprung. Annie swayed center stage, her coat slipping from her shoulders, long silver hair reflecting the various stage lights, she reached the microphone. As ruby red lips parted, the music mellowed to a sultry thrum, a low baritone drifted towards the crowd. Jet was confused, _She looks like an attractive but husky woman,_ and stunned, _Whoa! Her voice is lower 'n' mine._

Spike studied the entertainer momentarily, "She…" he paused, trying to decide if he had chosen the correct pronoun, "looks familiar."

Jet grunted.

"I'm moving closer to Lihas," Spike gestured in the bounty's direction.

Jet nodded and began scanning the room. "Give me a heads up so I can run crowd control." Spike's head dipped slightly. He refocused on the profitable bounty at the booth, the two partners drifting out the exit. Jet sighed, it was obvious Spike wouldn't wait. He grumped, "I feel like stretching my legs anyway."

Jet tapped Spike's shoulder and pointed at Boris bumbling towards the restroom, "Let's take the toad out first." It was always best to scare the crap out of someone after he had used the facilities. Both men meandered after the struggling imp. Jet beat the man to the restroom, closing the stall door just as Boris tripped in. Immediately, Spike ducked behind, making his way to the sink.

"Man that Annie can really sing, can't he? Hot too." Spike hated talking to a guy whose fly was unzipped, especially about what floats his boat. Grunting in response he washed his hands. "Ya hear me? I said…" Boris had finished, jiggling and turned towards the silent man, recognition dawning. "Oh shit. What're you doing here?" Spike rounded on the diminutive figure. "You weren't supposed to get the invite," he was frantically searching for an alternative exit when a leering Jet popped out the stall behind him, Spike shrugged, "I get around."

Gaining his voice, Boris continued, "Why isn't the bombshell here?"

"Guess it fell out of her pocket when she found more pleasant company."

Boris paled. "He… he'll…He'll kill you. All he's talked about besides the business is what he's goin' do with that chick." The man shuddered, "You pissed 'im off royally when she went home with you!"

Spike shrugged, "She already **knew** me or didn't your spy tell him that?"

He shuddered when he backed into Jet's chest, "Tony an' I tried to warn him off her, but he won't listen!" He tried to step right his eyes following Spike's progress to the door, "I like my cousin and all, but when he sets his mind on something you can't change it. He **wants** her!" Spike flicked the lock, Jet latched onto Boris's collar. Slowly, he was brought to Jet's eye level, his feet dangling helplessly.

"So, tell me what kinds of things does your cousin do?" A small shake.

"I… I'm not telling you guys shit!" Spike smirked around the trembling man. Jet pulled Boris closer.

Spike came beside Jet and grinned around his crumpled smoke, "Huh. It sounds like someone's tryin' to grow a pair all of a sudden."

Jet leered, "Too bad he'll lose them if he don't start singin'." Spike began popping bones, for effect.

Boris's eyes grew, twitching slightly he wheezed. "I..I… I I I…" Jet gave him a slight shake, "He has partners at colleges, pharmaceutical companies that gives 'im the drugs! He gets all kinds. His personal favorites alter personalities and lower their ability to say no. He likes to watch the mess."

"How?" Spike began popping his other hand.

"He slips them to people. Hires bartenders to load drinks… uh… uh.." another shake. "The hottie last night was given the wrong dose, she reacted too quickly." Spike frowned. Boris made a swipe at the two faces. "He liked that girl. She was the best he's seen for a while." Boris swung, "He used the expensive stuff to try and scare 'er off you." Spike caught a hand as it tried to poke his eyes again. He squeezed. Boris yelped, "OW! Look… it's nothin' personal! He…he hates competition and that's what you are."

"What about the girls?"

"He's pretty rough with his toys. Goes through umm…" Boris's eyes swiveled and he paled when a disturbing crack echoed through the space, " ehhh…" he began sweating and shaking uncontrollably. Slightly green he gasped, "through 'em real quick. The hotter the more ex… extreme." Jet's countenance darkened as his grip grew tighter around his collar. A more substantial snap came from inside Spike's hand. Boris retched and flailed slightly, "You… you busted my hand!"

Spike rolled his shoulder, "No. Just knocked a few bones out of joint," shrug, "At most they're cracked." He grinned, "Don't worry, they'll snap back." Boris groaned. "Hurt like hell too until they heal."

Jet growled, "What's your other partners' names?"

"What those punk ass college boys Kevin hires to collect new customers?" He held his throbbing hand to his chest, deathly pale, sweaty and wheezing, "You met the one idiot already, other's just a punk kid from the same school."

"What about your third wheel?"

Boris suddenly gained a second wind though his eyes had lost focus, "He's none of your fuckin' business." Jet shook him, but he remained tight lipped. "I won't tell you **anything** about him. I'd rather die. He's special!"

Spike glanced at the mangled hand and rubbed his neck, "This isn't getting anywhere."

The dangling man's bravado dissolved, "Eh?"

Spike's eyebrows crept towards his hairline. "Hey, Boris?"

He began to shake uncontrollably. The sudden congenial tone, more frightening than being strung up by an enormous hand. "I d..dd…do…don't know anything more!" He began sobbing, "Look I just ask Kev's questions so he can get a new toy or make another sale. I never touch. Never! Not even really into girls." Both cowboys frowned. "Ok. I look but I don't participate." He giggled nervously, "Can't help but look at 'em. They're the wrong body type though." Jet shook him, "I'm an outie kind of person!"

Jet scowled, "Not what I want to know, moron. I want to hear about your mystery partner." Spike glanced at Jet. That was **not** what he was going to ask.

"I… I can't tell you about our friend, 'cause he's none of your fuckin' business. I wouldn't betray him! He has a good eye for girls, finds the best but isn't interested in 'em." Boris's eyes were pleading, "I don't do **anything**. I'm just the messenger! I ask questions. Watch reactions, that kind of thing. So.. let me go… please?"

"No can do."

Jet snorted, "I'm sure you're innocent. What's your buddy do?"

He swayed in Jet's grip, "Look! What An…" Boris's eyes widened and his mouth instantly sealed.

"Your loyalty is inspiring, but that's not what I wanted to know." Spike grinned and stepped closer, "I want to know how you got your nickname, Spider?"

Jet's lips pursed, he had to admit he was curious too, but it was an odd time to ask. Boris was about as threatening as a ladybug. Thrown about the sudden change in questioning poor Boris froze. Another shake kicked his brain out of neutral, "Wha… wh…what?"

Spike retrieved his lighter, "How'd you get the name Spider?"

"Oh. I…I…collected a lot of bugs as a kid, my friend Anthony thought it was cool."

"Ugh. Really? So your friend, Anthony, came up with it?" Boris nodded, still twitching again at the bored expressions. "What's Anthony's full name?" Boris shook his head and tried to look brave. Spike smiled. Jet sighed. The interrogation was obviously at an impasse. Frustrated, he popped Boris's head off the tile wall. Dropping the limp figure he turned to Spike, "A fuckin' bug collector. Shit. And I thought it was something interesting." He shook his head in feigned disappointment.

Grinning Spike lit his dangling smoke, "We learned their partner's first name, didn't we?" and sauntered out.

Jet cuffed Boris to a toilet and closed the stall's door. He rubbed his head, "I'll be damned! We did."

An angry man rushed past the second Spike opened the door. He glared at the two cowboys on the way to the urinal, "You should know that kind of crap isn't allowed here. You gotta get off you go outside." Jet paled and hustled past the bursting man.

Spike snorted, "Jealous?" before disappearing back into the club.

Kevin met Spike at the bar. Blindsiding him, "I thought I gave you a friendly tip last time I saw you, fucktard?" Kevin's lip trembled. Spike carefully straightened up, eyeballing the livid bounty. His voice rose, "I **told** you to leave my property **alone**." He leveled a ferocious glare.

Spike absently flicked his cigarette; blowing a puff towards the ceiling his eyes met Kevin's, "Thought Anthony and Boris warned you off her." He grinned, "Mad Alice found someone with an actual dick?" Lihas's color faded, he snarled and grabbed for Spike's collar. Sidestepping, Spike's knee met stomach. "You really only move one speed, don't you?" With a perceptible, oof, Kevin swung again. Jet watched the skirmish, admiring Spike's self control. A figure sidled up to his right; he turned, recognizing the silver haired anomaly from the stage. He nodded her way, congenial. She sipped her drink, a small smile in return, before focusing her attention on the scuffle.

"Cousin Kevin," she cooed in her overtly masculine voice, "What are you doing here?"

"Fuck off reject." He glanced at her, "Like you don't know! I had…" he tried to duck a high kick, only to have it change directions and hit his stomach, "Ooof. An appointment with the boys. Then I…" fist met cheek, "The newest part to my collection." He tried to dodge a left hook only to meet Spike's right uppercut. Shaking his head, "This piece of shit's been sniffin' around what doesn't belong to him."

Annie giggled, "Looks like you're the one that's been snufflin' at somethin' that isn't yours, Kevie."

He shook, "Go find some loser to suck off and let me concentrate, cow." Annie's lips pressed into a thin line, her heavy lashed lids lowering to a glare.

"That's not a very nice thing to say to a lady, Kevin." Spike drawled, noting Annie's appreciative nod.

"What the hell? You blind or something?" Kevin's forced façade slipped with every word. It was obvious he did not handle losing, at all. Jet relieved Faye had been left on the Bebop, far away from the creep. "Look at **it**. IT's nothing but a freak!"

"Hmm…" Shrug, "Each his own." Spike flicked his smoke in a nearby ash tray. Jet shook his head, _How can he fight with a lit cigarette?!_

"Look Cous," Annie's gravelly voice warned. She had lost her patience, "I put up with your nasty ass because you bring in the merchandise. But I **will** not help you if you've been naughty, especially since **I **warned you about this nice fellow's," another appreciative glance towards Spike, "girl. Shit you're lucky I don't deal with you myself after the way you treated me and poor Boris baby last night." She smirked when Spike bounced Kevin's head off the bar, "I think I'm goin' let him have you!" She glanced around, "Where's Boris anyway?"

"Eh… he's tied up in the restroom," Jet cleared his throat.

She sighed, "Oh, too bad." Focusing on Jet, "and you…" he gave a sheepish smile, "Gotta smoke for a lady?" In a flash Jet proffered the requested item and a light.

"You two know each other, Ma'am?"

"Sure do, honey." Jet grew hopeful, Annie smiled, "I wouldn't mind a nice drink in a quiet corner, with such a charming gentleman." She placed a large, manicured hand on his arm.

Jet smiled, "Why thank you Miss Annie, I'd love to visit with you while my friend here settles with Kevin."

Spike's head jerked, signaling he had caught on to what Jet was up to.

Slipping into a booth, Annie turned to the foaming psychopath and sang, "Cousin Kev," she elicited an annoyed tick and grinned, "You know how cranky Anthony is when you mess up his favorite hang outs."

"Fuck you."

Annie gave a tiny titter, "It's not as fun alone, Sugar."

Kevin snorted, taking a swing at Spike's head, "This guy owes me an apology. He ruined a perfectly good night and made me mess up a perfectly good bartender. Put his filthy hands all over what wasn't his."

Spike dodged easily and flashed Lihas a mocking smirk. "Finders keepers."

"He **even **kissed her, right in front of me!" Infuriated, the man targeted Spike's face hitting the bar instead. Jet sat opposite of Annie as she ordered a round of drinks.

Shaking his bruised hand, Kevin armed himself with a chair. Again, aiming for the head, he stumbled when bits of splintered wood and shattered seat fell around his person, Spike's foot settling to the floor.

"You need to do better 'n that to get me Lihas," a kid in a candy store expression plastered to the taunting cowboy's face. Lihas reached for his coat pocket, his head connecting with the floor. Momentarily stunned, he barely caught sight of Spike's fist heading directly for his stomach. Rolling to the side, he was met by the heel of a clunky shoe. Grunting in pain, he withdrew a switchblade.

"How's that goin' to help you?" The bounty peeled off the floor, grinning like a fanatic in the presence of his idol.

"This isn't for me. Since I can't cut into that whore you took home last night, I'll use you instead." Jet noticed Spike's features harden.

"You go both ways, huh?" Spike shrugged, eyeballing the blade, "Sorry Cous. You're not my type. Too needy."

Kevin scowled and pressed on, "That bitch put out or just lay there?" Kevin's eyes slit, noticing the relatively calm man barely stiffen. _Bull's-eye. _Licking his lips he sneered, "I bet a bitch like that's a real screamer." He glanced at Spike's bruised wrist and sneered, "I would have had her every which way if I'd taken her home last night." His eyes gleamed, "They don't fight when they can't move. Just make little noises." He flashed teeth, "Nice and docile. Perfect pets." Spike took a step to the side. "How's she taste? She acted all innocent, but I bet she knew how to play. She like it rough? Looks like she's a biter," he swiped at the cowboy- catching clothing, "Are the tits real? God I hope so." Neither man noticed the crowd watching, "After I'm through with you I'll hunt that bitch down and show her some **real **fun." Spike took another step. "A girl like that would never get tired of me. I wouldn't let her. Use her up and toss her out like the trash she is, regardless her family."

Faye stirred and crawled from her cocoon. She grimaced at the sweat soaked clothing and sighed. Easing her way into the hall she could hear Ed happily playing on Tomato. Her stomach rumbled, immediately determining her priorities: food then bath. She puttered towards the kitchen.

She groaned at the selection, _Hmm… chicken or original flavor._ Not caring, she grabbed the closest container. Settling on the couch to eat her meal, she idly watched Ed's intense expression. "What ya watchin'?"

Ed peeped around the screen, "Spike is beating up the bad man that gave Faye pink, secret-spilling powder." Faye nodded, slid behind the teen and slurped a few noodles. She scowled, _Huh. Spike looks pissed._

Jet and Annie watched the unfolding fight. Taking a sip, Annie smiled, "So, you already take out sweet, lil' Boris?" Jet nodded, keeping a close eye on Spike, he missed Annie's brief frown. "Oh." She tittered, "That's good." She sighed, grimacing when Kevin started commenting about the skinny man's lady friend. Turning, "Oh Cousin, I didn't think you were so vulgar." She turned to Jet, "You're buddy's goin' fuck up Kevie isn't he?"

Jet watched his partner and nodded, "Yup."

"No loss. I hope his neck gets snapped. Accidentally, of course." Jet nodded. She fussed with her cocktail napkin, "You didn't hurt Boris did you?"

Jet shrugged, "Don't think so. Scared him, but he'll live."

Annie studied the fighting pair. Spike had just kicked Lihas twice in the head. She gasped when he slipped in a heel to the chin as Kevin fell to the floor.

"He's pretty quick when he wants to be."

Jet glanced at her, "You known Kevin long?"

She nodded, "Mmmhmmm, we hang in similar circles." She shook her head sadly. "He had the potential to be great."

Jet patted her arm, "He'll grow out of it, maybe."

She snorted, "I doubt it. Kevie's a freak always has been. Type of kid who pulled the wings off butterflies and injected kitties with various household substances." She smirked when Spike made his final move.

Jet cleared his throat, "So, uh… Miss Annie do you know Anthony well?"

She smiled, delicately flicking a piece of ash from her smoke and quirked a brow. "You're a smart fella what do you think?" She leaned closer, "Anthony won't get caught though. Never has." Jet's shoulders bounced and she grinned, "No one who knows him will talk about him," she waggled a manicured finger before Jet's nose, "And you're a very, **very **naughty boy for asking me." She took a sip, "You must've really rattled poor Boris to get him to slip up and give you that much." She inhaled, "You're lucky to have found out his first name." She twirled her drink, "No more questions about Kevie's friends." She frowned, "Technically, Anthony isn't Kevin's friend. He's an associate, more interested in Boris's well being. Thinks of the little fella like a pet and so do I." She winked, "Don't worry, though. He'll meet you when he's ready." Jet frowned, he hated when people were cryptic. She tugged his beard, "You're cute when you pout, Cowboy." He blushed, glad Faye and Spike couldn't see.

Spike had been toying with Lihas, but Kevin's last disturbed comment had drawn the line. "Shut up, Lihas." He plowed the bounty in the teeth relishing in the slight crunch as fist contacted face. Kevin stumbled back, spitting a tooth out in the process. He dug in his mouth retrieving a second. Dazed he tripped on the broken chair stumbling until gravity took control. No sooner did his head bounce off the floor then he was roughly kicked over with a foot, he grunted as a loud crack followed by an immediate stab tearing up his side, and groaned when the cuffs pulled on the injury. Kevin clasped Spike's wrist. Pleased he was able to slip the blade between himself and the cowboy. Spike jerked his hand from the sudden pain, "I'm not going to hold your hand, douche bag." Roughly yanking Kevin up to sitting he examined the jagged, red rip across his palm. "What the hell?"

The bounty just grinned, "Say, 'hi' to Alice for me." He cackled and fell over. Jet, losing patience fisted his hair, introducing a face to the hard, concrete floor. Both men eyed him, noting the labored rise and fall of his back. Deciding he wasn't dead they returned their attention to Annie, who hovered over Jet's shoulder, a bar rag clutched in her hand. She handed the cloth to Spike. With a nod of thanks he wrapped it around his wound. Jet left the unconscious bounty to retrieve the other attached to the toilet.

Annie kicked Kevin over, "Damn. What'd he do to your girl? You look like you beat him within an inch of his life."

Spike quirked a brow, tugging his make shift bandage with teeth. "Refused to take a hint." He glanced at her, "And I don't have a girl."

She clucked her tongue, "Fibber. He went after someone you care about. Sister?" Spike shook his head. She scowled, "You're too young for a daughter Kevie'd be interested in. Has to be a love interest."

"Associate."

"Bull. I wouldn't do this kind of shit for an associate. She means somethin'." She bent over to study the grisly scene up close, "I've seen this guy in a lot of fights and he's never ended up like this. He usually turns chicken shit and runs." She stifled a gasp, when Jet dropped Boris with a satisfying 'fwump'. Covering she caught Jet's eye and directed the worried glance towards Spike, "What'd he cut you with?" His head tipped towards the knife beside Kevin's shoulder. Annie carefully picked the blade up. She turned to Jet, lowering her voice. "Hey honey. You're goin' want to keep an eye on your friend there." She passed off the knife, "Look." She studied Spike, "You're buddy was all worked up about one of Kevin's interests." Smile, "He seems like a nice kid, full of it and in complete denial, but decent." She sighed, "for the most part," toying with her jewelry as she analyzed Boris's crumpled form, "Kevin uses that to cut up the various substances he's given to provide samples. It's filthy too. Most likely it's covered in one of the mood altering substances he sells." She scowled in thought, "The last one he sold was… oh… Id." Jet turned the knife over, taking note of the various substances near the hilt.

Jet stilled glancing at Spike, "Like Peach?"

Kevin chortled, "You wish. It'll be that and then some. Peach just softens the edges and makes toys manageable." He pulled a face and spit. Blood and another tooth clinking on the floor. "It'll have anything and everything I've chopped up since…" he swayed, "Ever."

She stepped on Kevin's hand and shook her head, "In others words, it's worse, much worse."

"Oh, fuck."

Annie smiled, "Exactly. But I don't think your buddy got much. Not sure how those drugs mix though. Not like there's enough to provide a decent dose of anything."

Consciousness fading, Kevin slurred, "Guess you'll have to wait 'n' see."

Jet ignored the unwanted commentary, bouncing a head off the floor for a second time, "Pff. I don't think this'll work the way he wants." He shot her a stern glare.

She sighed, "That kid, Spike was it?" Jet nodded, "He'll probably act out of character. Like I said, his last supply was Id. It's a weird trip. Seems to lock whatever emotions you're feeling when you get dosed." She studied Spike as he smoked. "He seems like the quiet, keep your hand hidden type. You'll want to keep an eye on him, Sugar. His type always seems the most," her faced scrunched, "repressed. His normal reactions to things might be different. He may become more aggressive or affectionate. You can never tell with the shit Kevie sells." She tapped her temple, "It messes with what's been processed and ain't no one a mind reader, get me?" Her well shaped eyebrows rose Jet nodded nervously, "Has your boy been doin' anything out of the norm already?" Jet scowled in thought. Annie giggled, "I'll take that as a yes." She kicked Kevin's leg, "You'll just have to wait and see. Hope for the best. It all depends on what's going on with the user."

"Shit." Jet stared at Spike's back, "You never know what's going on with him."

"I wouldn't worry, Sweetie. There isn't enough there for anything major. He should still be able to control the more extreme emotions." She smiled, "If I were a betting woman I'd say it'll loosen him up and he'll act on whatever feelings he's got bottled up for that pretty college girl." She gave Spike an invasive once over, "Whatever Kevie pulled on her caused that boy to beat him to a bloody pulp." She smiled, "'Sides, he's a sweet kid. Doesn't seem like the blow 'em up type." Jet gave a nervous laugh. She grinned, "I've seen this girl Kevie's all worked up over. She's quite the catch. Poor kid should just act on whatever's drove him to thump Kev."

Jet snorted, "He makes her life hell."

She sighed, "They sure looked happy dancing together the other night, you know?"

Jet scowled, "You were at the club?"

"Yeah." She brushed off his shocked expression with a giggle, "I get around." Deciding to change the subject she batted her lashes and fingered Jet's shirt, "You know we never got to finish our drinks. How 'bout you come back tomorrow and have a night cap with me?" Jet rubbed his neck nervously. Annie caught the hint and sighed, "It's ok Cowboy," Jet's rubbing slowed and he gave the singer a nervous glance, she guffawed, "Nice to have a drink with a handsome man, even if it is only to keep me out of the way and ask questions I won't answer." She shrugged, "Since backup didn't arrive I assume you're bounty hunters or Syndicate." She released a tired sigh and tugged Jet's beard, "Management is goin' t' be pissed I let you beat one of our best customers, but you're cute so… I'll take the risk." Jet caught Spike's small snort, _Now he starts listening_. A manicured nail touched her lips, she winked, "In case you're interested cow-boy… there's a party at the Initiate end of next week. I'd love it if you'd come say hi." Jet felt a tiny part of him die. She glanced at Spike, "Have your friend bring his girl. I'd love to see what they do where you're supposed to be naughty." She gave a devilish smirk, "I'm sure we can get them together with a little encouragement. He was awful cute with her in the coffee shop." She placed a whisper of a kiss to Jet's cheek. Swaying away she paused, leaning over and whispering something into Boris's then Lihas's ear. Jet scowled, _When was she at the coffee shop? How'd we miss her at the club?!_ Jet forgot the worry when he noted Annie was taking her time with Lihas. Distrust faded when she stood and stepped roughly on the broken form. She gave Jet a friendly wave before disappearing behind the stage.

Spike stooped to pick up Boris, "Looks like you made a cute, big friend, Jet." He snickered, "Was that a five o'clock shadow on Ms. Annie?" Jet began grumbling, normally encouraging Spike to continue, instead he shook his head, "You know it feels wrong to see Faye's tricks pulled by… uh… her." Jet caught Spike smirking, _Faye plays better. _Jet saw nothing to smile at, grunting slightly he hefted Kevin up.


	16. Chapter 16

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Stress, stress and more stress.

Chapter 16: Idle Hands (Stone Sour)

"Spike, head back to the Bebop and get Faye to clean you up." Spike nodded, closing the hatch of the Swordfish. Jet hoisted his two bounties into the Hammerhead, 'accidentally' knocking Lihas around. The man stirred, slanting a glare at Jet he began snickering, his eyes glazed, "Alice's gonna get a nasty surprise when your buddy finds her."

"Who?"

The mirth vanished, replaced by cold rage, "So the bitch did lie to me."

Jet snorted, "She's not stupid, idiot. I thought fake names were normal at those clubs." He shrugged, "The whole no strings bullshit or whatever.

Lihas wasn't listening. He grinned, "No problem she'll learn her lesson thanks to your ass wipe of a partner. Then, when I get out in the morning, I'll **show** her what I expect."

"Shut the fuck up." Jet forced himself to breathe, to calm down and not shoot the man between the eyes. Opting for a pleasing middle ground, Jet used his mechanical arm and thumped the wretch on the head. He grinned malevolently when he noted a bloody patch of hair, _Oops, guess I hit a little too hard._ He scowled at the growing pile of drool coming from Boris, then smiled when Lihas flopped into it. Pleased with this small turn in events he grabbed his comm, sobering instantly.

No matter how often it occurred, it always felt wrong to have the dog answer. "Ein, go fetch Ed or Faye."

The corgi barked. Ed's face immediately appeared, "Hell-o Papa Jet. Faye-Faye is taking a bath. She told Ed to play uh…" the light bulb flickered on, "receptionist."

"Fine Ed then why didn't you answer?"

"Because Ein-doggy needed a job silly!" She smiled pulling the dog up for inclusion.

"Ugh. Never mind." Growing serious, "Look I need you to get Faye, **now**." Jet noticed the scenery behind Ed change, he continued, "Spike's on the way back with a busted up hand. She needs to clean it out and wrap it up. Have her slip him an antibiotic too." Ed nodded. Jet made out a soft knock the screen showing a door.

"Faye? Papa Jet needs us," the sound of sloshing water sounded through the connection, the door opened exposing two, wet, soapy knees.

"Ed. What's wrong?" Faye's towel clad figure burst onto the shifting screen. "What happened?"

"Faye, have Ed run a check on a drug called Id."

Faye glanced below the screen, "Ed, you hear that?"

The screen shook, as the hacker nodded. "Ed's on the job along with her faithful doggie woof-woof: Ein!"

Faye's grip on her towel tightened and she groaned, "Just go." She juggled the laptop, "What else?"

Spike was pissed. Every fiber of his being wanted to turn the Swordfish around, over take Jet and rip Lihas limb from limb. _Sneaky little fucker. _Another part wanted to rush back to the Bebop and make sure Faye was never near the cretin again. He grew crankier when his mind started supplying various scenarios that would keep Faye too occupied to bother with the bounty. Growling at his predicament he dashed around an oncoming freighter. Guessing that the idiot had used his sorting knife he growled. _He used the same damn trick! _Spike's displeasure turned inward. _Should have known he was a one trick wonder._ The accelerator crept higher. He cracked a smile thinking of the damage he inflicted to the man's face. The accelerator inched up. His comm beeped.

"What!?!"

"Spike get back to the Bebop, **now**. Faye and Ed are waiting for you. You need to get out of the ship and take it easy. Have Faye clean up that cut, it might get infected and it needs a few stitches." Jet had just completed an express bounty drop: call ahead, pull favors, dump and run. He had a very bad feeling about the substances soaking into Spike's slowly depleting bloodstream, especially now that he was speaking to his partner. The man was livid.

Spike scowled, "Really Jet, you think so? Hmm… infected huh? That'd be a bitch." He examined his injury before returning his focus to the screen. Smiling he raised the bandaged hand. A single finger stood at attention, "Looks like everything's in working order."

The screen blanked. Jet immediately tried to reconnect. "Dammit!" Deciding to check on Ed's progress he hailed the Bebop.

"Bebop-Bebop, helllloooo Papa Jet!"

"Ed! Knock it off," immediately she frowned. Jet sighed and violently rubbed his face, "Have you found anything about the drug?" Ed nodded. Expecting the worst he groaned, "Fill me in."

Faye appeared on the screen. Worry marring her features. "Designer drug, made to make mercenaries even scarier. No guilt, no fuss. They were riled up and drugged, highly effective."

"So Id was a reference to Freud?"

Ed reappeared, "Yup. Bottom of the iceberg." She began flailing, "ABANDON SHIP!!"

"Ed this is serious, what's it supposed to do?"

"Turn off the conscience, silly." She waved, "Too much and it's goodbye ego! Later superego!" Both faces shared the screen.

Jet sighed, "Holy shit talk about déjà vu," He grumbled quietly. "Faye I need you to put all the guns on the ship in the ammo closet. Go through every room." He stared her down, "You know most of Spike's hidey holes, don't you?" She nodded. "Good. Ed hack into the Bebop and lock the door, do the same for the hangar. Let people into the main part of the ship but **not **out." Ed nodded, her face growing increasingly fearful. Faye appeared to be rubbing the teen's back.

"Jet what the hell? You trying to scare her!?" She turned towards the girl then back, "She looks like she's going to cry!"

Jet shook his head, "The creep that drugged you last night ripped a big chunk out of Spike's wrist and hand with one of his dividing knives. Our buddy is heading straight for you with who knows how much Id, Peach and whatever else Lihas sells absorbing into his system."

"What?!"

Jet groaned, "He was cut during a fight, Faye." Catching on, Faye paled- Id was highly potent, the doses were miniscule. "You two need to stuff **all **the weapons in the closet, quickly and Ed," he felt guilty when he noticed her lip wiggle, "you need to hide with Ein. I doubt you're in Spike's good graces after biting him."

"But Ed and Spike said sorry."

Jet shook his head, "I don't want to risk it Ed. Find a room to hide out in and lock the door. Faye I hate to do this but I won't beat him back. I need you to try and keep him calm. Clean up his hand, feed him, whatever. Just keep him comfortable. I'll be there as soon as I can. This stuff fucks with your drives, if he gets rough or starts acting weird lock yourself in the bathroom." Faye nodded and disconnected. _Damn, damn, damn._

Spike snickered when he ripped his comm off the console, pleased the screen had cracked. He was enjoying the speed and didn't like the interruptions. His hand throbbed again, the new cuts, courtesy of punching the communications device, smarting now that they were in the air. He glared at the slowly expanding red stain on the bar rag, _Must've reopened it._ Growling in frustration, he directed himself towards the Bebop.

Faye found every weapon on the ship- she even threw the kabob skewers in the closet, while Ed programmed the locks accordingly. Grabbing snacks and water, Faye stuffed Ed and Ein in her bedroom. "Lock the door, Jet or I'll come check on you when it's safe, ok?" Ed nodded curling up with Ein on Faye's bed.

_Faye-Faye looks very tired._ She whispered, "Be careful Faye-Faye."

She smiled, "I always am." Ed nodded as Faye pulled the quilt over the teen's thin shoulders. "Try to sleep, it'll make things easier. Will the lock activate when I go?" Ed nodded, releasing a shaky breath. Both felt the Swordfish dock. The hangar doors closed. "Well, Ed. Looks like show-time." Slipping out the door Faye waited for the lock to engage before heading to the lounge, she settled on the couch and began a game of solitaire. Spike's grumbling drifted from the hangar- something along the lines of sneaky, freaky psychopaths with no creativity. Reminding herself to not panic she cracked her neck and prepared for the worst while trying to remain calm and collected. She peeked at him when he flopped on the couch.

"Hand hurts."

Faye's eyebrow rose.

"Jet said you'd fix it."

"Oh." She left for a first aid kit. Returning, "Let me see it." He dropped his hand in her proffered palm. She eased the wrapping off, eliciting an irritated hiss. With a frown she closely studied the bleeding gash and bruising knuckles, plucking a few embedded shards out, he jerked and cussed. She stood, "We need to wash the cut and you should probably ice your knuckles." Tugging his arm she led him to the bathroom. _Did Spike just tighten his grip on my hand?_

"Fuck. That stings!" Spike yanked his hand from the water. The antiseptic soap soaking in with a throbbing zing. The movement drug Faye with. He zoned in on the drips that splashed across her neck and chest, disappearing below the line of her tank top. His mind blanked.

Faye missed the track of Spike's gaze, too busy trying to keep her balance. "Knock it off Lunkhead. It **has** to be cleaned. You want an infection? Quit squirming so I can finish patching you up." She tapped his head, forced him to sit on the edge of the tub and returned his hand to the running water, gently cleansing the smaller gashes with soap. Spike continued to watch stray drops travel across her skin feeling slightly cheated when she grabbed a towel and wiped away the wayward moisture.

With his hand disinfected, wrapped and now under ice Spike's sour mood began to sweeten, minimally. "Your bedside manner's the shits." He grumped digging for a smoke. Faye handed him one of hers, retrieving one for herself. "Light?"

She passed the lighter, eyeing him carefully. "Never said I was Florence Fucking Nightingale." He closed his eyes, his head dropping back onto the couch. Hoping he had dozed off, Faye rose to leave.

Spike placed his leg on the coffee table, blocking her. "Why would you give an asshole like that the time of day? What's so attractive about a shit-for-brains dealer like him?"

Faye dumbfounded, snorted. "Spike, if I didn't know you any better I'd say you're jealous of some creep hitting on me." Spike peered at her from half closed lids, she sighed returning to her spot.

"Feeling up and drugging a girl is **not **how you flirt. Is that how you want guys to pick you up? Is that why you dress like bottom of the barrel hooker?"

Slightly stung by his question, Faye chose to ignore the parts she didn't like. "If you must know I wasn't attracted, I was doing **my **job. In case you forgot, I was supposed to play a college girl and find out if I could get us closer to the drug dealers. Last time I checked, most girls in that category don't kick the shit out of a guy for dancing with her." She folded her arms and glared across the room, "'Sides I hated every minute of it. Guy was like a freakin' octopus."

"Even a nice girl would have removed an unwanted grope, Faye."

She pinked, growing frustrated, and forgetting Spike's issues she seethed, "I wanted to shoot the bastard, but that would have lost us our cash cow. I wanted to rip his arm off and beat him with it. You should have heard the shit he was saying!" She whacked his chest repeatedly, "What's it matter to you anyway? Last time I checked you didn't care who I fucked or when."

He caught her fist easily, "Who says I don't care?" Faye's jaw slacked. He pressed on, "A freak like that would've left you dead or worse."

Faye folded her arms, "In case you failed to notice I hated being around him. He was disgusting," she gave an angry huff, "What girl in her right mind wants to be called pet and piece. He talked to me like I was a collector's item."

He snorted derisively, "You were."

She huffed, "Don't forget, I readily accepted you as a dance partner to scare him off."

He slumped lower, his unwrapped hand coming to rest on her thigh, "He had some fucked up ideas on how to treat a girl."

She eased back and snorted, "Right and you know exactly what a woman wants, eh Lunkhead?"Absently she tried to decide if she should remove his hand with force or leave it. Unsure what to do it remained. The hand absently rubbed the bare flesh, Spike's eyes closed and his breathing slowed. He whispered, "Faye?"

She yawned, regretting having taken another flu pill before her bath. The codeine finally beating out the rush of adrenaline. "Hmmm?"

"Who were you talkin' about the other night?"

"Uh…" She curled her legs beneath her, "Not sure. What did I say?"

"Something about a slob, a lot of no's and never's and that Jet and Ed were important."

"Huh. Sounds like I had a case of verbal…" she yawned, her voice slowing, "… verbal diarrhea." She let her eyes drift closed. Spike continued rubbing her thigh, his hand occasionally sneaking below the hem of her shorts. She sighed and sunk lower, too tired to care about her couch partner. She recalled their staged dance the night before and decided to place this in the 'get it while you can' category. _Besides,_ she figured, _he won't remember this in the morning._ She placed a soft kiss on his cheek, assuming he was asleep and her hand gently on his own. She smiled, "It was you, Lunkhead." Allowing herself to imagine this was the norm, not an idiot's half assed plan of retaliation her head settled on his chest.

Spike was in turmoil. He knew Lihas's knife had been dirty. He was also lucid enough to realize he was talking more than comfortable. What scared him was he didn't care that he had initiated contact with Faye; squeezing her hand as she led him to clean it and feeling up her thigh. His hand squeezed slightly and slid further from her knee. _Ergh! This is Faye. FAYE! Knock it off._ Desperately he tried to will his body to sleep, to stop rubbing her leg, to stop not minding, and more importantly **stop **enjoying it. He wanted to **not **care, keep her at arm's length- at the nearest. He hated that she wasn't the same since he finished recovering from his showdown. He didn't like the glimpses of a competent, caring, **human** Faye that kept appearing because he liked her. She was supposed to be the shrew, high bitch with a nice ass- the epitome of sexy, untouchable tomboy. Instead she was a likeable, entertaining woman with a nice ass. He scowled, a highly desirable, approachable, sexy tomboy.

Exhausted after the adrenaline crash coupled with a restless night of sneaking to the lounge doorway to check on Faye; he'd rather shoot himself in the foot then admit that maybe, just maybe, he liked her company and worried about her safety; he felt a hand fall atop his and peeked at a drooping Faye. _Guess some of the meds haven't worn off yet. _He stilled when she leaned in and dropped the tiniest of kisses on his jaw and confessed, "It was you, Lunkhead." He cracked his eyes open to find she was completely out, her head landing on his shoulder. Autopilot kicked in and before he could stop himself he slid closer, his arm slipping from her leg to circle around her shoulders and pulled her flush. She was warm, comforting. Closing his eyes he gently pressed his lips against the top of her head, deciding he would enjoy this while it lasted. _It's the drug. _Whispering, "Good." She sighed as he placed another tender peck on her forehead; positive he could live with the consequences, and fell asleep.

Jet flew into the Bebop panic stricken. He was certain he would find a slobbering, murderous Spike, over a bloody Faye with the mangled bodies of Ed and Ein strewn across the ship. No sooner had the clamps secured the Hammerhead then he was sprinting towards the hangar doorway. His heart stalled over the silence that greeted him. Quickly and quietly he crept down the hall, pausing every now and then to listen for danger. He checked the doors, noting that Faye's was locked. His breath caught as his hand grasped the door latch to the toilet, only to release it with a loud whoosh when he met no resistance. Continuing his stealth mission he slipped into the main room and froze, turned around, checked the couch again. _Nope, not seeing things._ From where he stood he could see Spike's slouched form, his head resting on Faye's. His arm flopped comfortably and possessively over her shoulders. One leg on the table, the other pressed against Faye, keeping her in place. She was curled up, her hand rested sandwiched between his chest and bandaged hand, head bobbing with each of his breaths.

Jet scratched his head and chuckled quietly, relief flooding his system, _Well that was anti-climatic._ Shaking his head he returned to Faye's room, gently tapping on the door. "Ed. Ed." He tapped again, keeping his voice quiet, "Ed. Open the door." He heard muffled movement and the lock disengaged.

"Papa Jet," her sleepy eyes wide with worry, "I-is Faye-Faye ok?" Jet smiled, indicating her to follow.

"Shh... everything's fine." He chuckled, "Come look at this." Both tip-toed to the lounge. Ed froze in the doorway, her jaw dropping slightly before curling into a mischievous grin.

"Oooo..." she stage whispered, "Spiky-Spike finally put the moves on Faye!" Ed took a few steps closer to the pair, "Ahh… Spike and Faye look so cuuuute like that." She batted her eyelashes and giggled. Jet couldn't help but smile at the silly, little, happy dance. Motioning her to come with he headed towards the kitchen. Curious about what had happened while he was gone. Starting the teapot, he prepared two cups. "Can Ed have chocolate?"

"Yeah. I think you earned a cup of cocoa."

She grinned, "With those white, squishy things?"

Jet nodded. "If I can find some."

"And coffee?"

"Ah.. no. Now. What happened?" Ed began, straying very little with uncharacteristic clarity. _Guess she's growing up,_ Jet thought idly as he listened. He chuckled as she repeated the argument in the bathroom, _Guess there wasn't that much in his system_. Handing her a mug, he smiled and told her she did well. Pleased with the praise Ed gulped down her drink and yawned.

"Ed, why don't you go curl up in Faye's bed," he chuckled, "I doubt she'll be moving." Ed nodded with a giggle and waddled out of the room, Ein in tow. After rinsing the dishes, Jet followed, pausing to dim the main room lights on his way to bed. He quirked a brow when he noticed: Spike had slipped lower on the couch, pulling Faye with and someone had tossed a blanket over the sleeping pair. Grinning, he crawled into bed wondering what the fall out would be tomorrow when the two woke in each other's arms. _This could get interesting,_ he reconsidered, _or dangerous. _Then sighed, _At least all the weapons are locked up. _


	17. Chapter 17

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

A lesson learned the hard way.

Chapter 17: Waking Up Beside You (Stabbing Westward)

Spike stirred, surprisingly comfortable and content. Eyes still closed, he made an attempt to dislodge a kink only to meet resistance. "What the..?" Taking stock of his surroundings he found the warm obstacle. _What's Faye doing?_ With practiced ease Spike extricated himself from Faye's loose embrace. Landing with a soft thud on the floor, he glanced at himself, _Still dressed, good_. The only indication she was disturbed was the soft moan and repositioning of her head. Carefully peeking under the blanket he tried to verify that nothing occurred beyond sleep. Her shirt had ridden up slightly, exposing her back. Spike hoped that it was from his abrupt change in position and not traveling appendages. He glanced at his hands, looking for any tell-tale signs they had wandered into forbidden territory. All he found was Ed's teeth marks and the bandage. _How'd that get there?_ Gentle prodding proved that the hand was indeed injured and had been wrapped skillfully. He studied the familiar x pattern and smiled, _Faye must've patched me up. _He scowled, why and when was the problem. Wanting answers he decided to interrogate Jet, but paused. Faye needed to know she should never take snuggling liberties. That was the priority. Perturbed to find himself in such a compromising position, he stalked off to the hangar. He had supplies to collect. He needed a shower too, he smelled like oranges.

Jet found Faye still sleeping on the couch as he headed towards the kitchen. Passing a damp Spike, arms full of various cords, he turned and followed the man back to the main room, gathering any strays that slipped from the pile.

"Mornin' Spike, what ya doin?" Jet returned the collected bungees.

"Just buckling' Faye in."

"What?" He gaped as Spike gently, almost tenderly, repositioned Faye on her back and began to lash her to the yellow couch. "Uh, hey Spike. I… uh… Do you think that's a good idea?" Spike's shoulder hitched as he flipped a cord over her feet. Not wanting to witness the carnage destined to follow, Jet decided to hide in the safety of his bonsais, "I had nothing to do with this. Nothing…" _Is he nuts?_ Jet's constant muttering of innocence could be heard until a door blocked him from the rest of the ship. Gently returning the blanket over Faye's form, Spike watched her settle deeper into the couch, her mouth falling open as she tried to turn. Glancing at his hand, he decided it was time to get answers from the reticent horticulturist.

Spike snickered in the doorway, there in a position of honor was a small cactus, just preparing to bloom. Jet was hunched over one of his beloved plants, staring at the various limbs, contemplating where to snip for the most aesthetically pleasing shape. Tenderly he slipped his scissors around a misshapen stick, trying to avoid the main branch.

"Jet!" The scissors slid shut.

"Son of a bitch," Jet watched disgusted as half his bonsai fell to the table. Turning a murderous glare to the noisy intruder he spat, "What!? What is so important you have to barge in here, startle the Bejesus out of me, and force me to maul one of my oldest **and **favorite…" he couldn't finish, resorting to pointing to the fallen limb instead. With a sad, defeated sigh, "It even survived Ed!"

Spike's eyes slid to the destroyed plant, snapping back towards the fuming gardener. He raised his bandaged hand, "What the hell happened last night?"

Jet robotically lowered his shear clenched hand to the table, forced his fingers open and released the sharp blades. "Lihas."

Spike's brow twitched, irritated his mouth pressed to a tight, thin line, "Why don't I remember?"

"Probably because he used the same blade he divides samples with," Spike's face hardened, Jet chuckled not wanting to think about the previous night's stresses he sidestepped the issue, "Why did you strap Faye to the couch?"  
"Why was I **her** pillow?" Always counter with your own questions.

Jet shrugged. "Probably 'cause you both fell asleep there." Never give a counter all the information until your original question is answered.

"I would never sleep with Faye." He pulled a face, realizing what he had just implied.

Jet couldn't help it, he laughed in the younger man's face, "Bullshit. You two looked **very **content." He eyeballed Spike's twitchy countenance, "Look Spike, that drug you were slipped only lowered your inhibitions. You acted on what you wanted and didn't worry about consequences." Jet gave a good natured shrug, "I thought you'd beat Ed to a pulp, eat the dog and blow the ship up." He chuckled, "Who knew that what you really wanted was some cuddle time with Faye-Faye?" He smirked as he teased, "Did lil' Spiky need a hug?"

Spike glared, moving slightly he blocked the exit, "Don't fuck with me Jet, what happened last night?"

"Not sure. I was dumping off bounties. From what Ed said you bitched about having Faye clean up your hand, then everything went quiet. When I got here you were snuggling with 'er on the couch." Jet shouldered past. "I doubt she fell asleep on you purposely considering the flu meds I left for her. She probably couldn't help it after all the stress of worrying about you was gone." He scowled, "Tying her up for helping you seems a bit overboard, doesn't it Spike?"

He shrugged, "Nope. I still owe her for the new smokes."

Jet shook his head, "I think you remember more then you're willing to let on." He gave Spike a knowing once over, "Do me a favor, when she puts the pieces together I want you to keep as far from me as possible."

Spike grinned, "Hey Jet, where's Ed?"

"Faye's room last I knew." Turning on his heels Spike headed down the hall. Jet scowled, _Why's he so upset about falling asleep next to Faye? He sleeps on that couch __**all**__ the time. You'd think a pleasant Faye would be a…_ Comprehensions dawned. Jet grinned, deciding to let the hand play out- for now. His stomach growled, sending him to scrounge up some breakfast.

"FAYE-FAYE!!" Ed screamed above the sleeping woman's head. "**FAYE-FAYE!**" Spike hovered in the doorway, not wanting to miss a moment of the impending comedy. The stairs offered the perfect view. Ed turned towards him and shrugged, "Faye-Faye won't wake up."

"Try pinching her nose shut." He demonstrated, his eyes crinkling when Ed complied. Faye's eyes shot open in alarm and tried to fend off the attack. Something had stopped her from breathing!! Crossed and panicked eyes locked on the hand at her nose, followed the attached skinny arm to a shoulder and on up to... Her vision began to spark and blur. Trying to brush the offensive hand from her face she thrashed, knocking the blanket off. Having been bound and gagged one too many times she forgot to open her mouth and began flopping her head side to side trying to dislodge the persistent hold; strange little grunts and terror stricken groans escaping between her tightly pressed lips with each twitch.

Spike noted the slight bluing of Faye's cheeks and her eyes beginning to roll to the back of her head, "Ed stop pinching her nose!" Immediately Ed released. Faye's labored breaths flooded the room. Her heart still pounding she began to shake, trying to process where she was and with whom. Her breathing was harsh and choppy, _Is_ _she hyperventilating?_ A few tears escaping down the side of her face and melting into her hair. Spike took a step forward, _Holy shit. She having a panic attack?_ Guilt subsided as Faye's breathing regulated. It was apparent she was studying her situation while forcing herself calm. Spike had to admit, he was impressed. She went from terror stricken to analytical in an impressively short time.

Ed's face appeared. "Faye-Faye why do you look scared?" _Oh. I'm on the Bebop._ Again, Faye tried to sit up.

"Urk!" Her torso slammed back into the couch cushions. "What the hell!?!" She tried to move her legs, lifting an inch or two before having them forced back into yellow. Spike chuckled at her antics, drawing a seething glare from the bound woman. At least that was the intention, but the restraints only allowed her to glare peripherally. "Hey Spike," hissed deadly composure. He stifled his mirth and glanced at her. "You happen to know how I ended up like this?" He draped over the banister, Faye's eyes following his movements, and feigned confusion not bothering to hide the mischievous glint in his eyes. Faye turned her attention to the hacker, shifting uncomfortably by her shoulder. "Ed, do me a favor and unhook these." Returning her gaze to the cowboy, who had retreated to the door she missed Ed flip the bungee off the edge.

FWACK!

"Holy FUCK! That hurt! ED!! DON'T just let those…"

FWACK!

"cords go." Her steam lost in the second assault.

FWACK!

"Ed, c'mon." Faye whined, three welts blossoming on her arm and torso.

"Sorry Faye-Faye, they slipped." Setting the fourth gently on her stomach, Ed moved to Faye's hips. Spike, enjoying the show, dug out a smoke and leaned into the door frame, trying to hold himself upright, his laughter drawing Jet from the kitchen. Sneaking a peek around the oddly jovial man, he made out the sleep mussed hair of Faye as she pulled cords off. Ed's head bobbing at the other end of the couch, releasing Faye's feet.

FWACK!

"Dammit Ed! That **really** hurts!" Spike collapsed and Jet felt himself smile at Faye's predicament. Ed was also struggling to hide her grin, her teeth digging visibly into her bottom lip, while Faye busied herself with the last of the bungees. Finally free, Faye stomped towards the snickering Spike several of the offensive cords clutched in her hand. In a flash, she hooked onto his waistband, pulled back, a vicious snarl curling her lips.

FWACK! FW-FWACK!

She didn't even pause to check damage as she rounded into the hallway and disappeared. Spike gently rubbed his abused back, dropping the handful of bungees on the floor. Jet chuckled at the turn of events and shot in parting, "Put those away," before returning to his cooling coffee and burnt toast.


	18. Chapter 18

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Evil plans in motion.

Chapter 18: Hair of the Dog (Nazareth)

Faye was enraged. Every welt burned. She was determined to get Spike back if it killed her. _What the hell'd I do to deserve having the shit scared out of me? _She shook slightly, recalling the paralyzing fear of waking up because she couldn't breathe. _Thank goodness I didn't start bawling and my gun was locked up._ She congratulated herself for keeping relatively cool. Collecting her things she huffed into the shower, hoping to remove some bungee aches and hide hurt feelings. No one expects to fall asleep in someone's arms, only to wake up suffocating and bound. It's just cruel and if that's the way Spike wanted to play this little game of one-up-manship that was how she'd play. She was determined to have him rue the day he **ever** tried to out-do her.

"Spike, she's goin' to kill you." Jet said around his smoke.

"Doubt it. She has yet to get one over on me since the shaving cream." He grinned, "And that one doesn't count- she had help."

"Then technically, neither do yours. You've had Ed's help too."

Spike fiddled with the unlit smoke, "No. I did the loaded cigarette on my own."

Jet shook his head, "When she retaliates there will be no more using Ed in your little game. Poor kid's goin' to have a complex." Spike shrugged. He wasn't worried, Faye wouldn't be able to pull anything he wouldn't see a mile away.

"She's been goin' easy on you, Spike-o. You know what they say about women…" Jet stretched.

"What? Can't live with them can't procreate without them?"

Jet snorted, "I'm stopping off on Vesta to resupply. You know the drill. If there's something you need you either buy it yourself or put it on the list and leave the Woolongs." Spike nodded.

Jet became immediately suspicious the second Faye offered to take Ed and Ein out for the day. When he pressed, she simply smiled and said something about wanting to enjoy the country. Though his bullshit meter was redlining, he decided to leave things be and have Spike accompany him. It wouldn't hurt him to get some fresh air anyway and Faye deserved a little prep time.

He kicked the slumbering cowboy's foot on the way out. "Get up." Spike snorted and slithered lower on the couch, Jet thwacked the napper's forehead. "Up. Now."

Spike cracked an eye, "Why?"

"Your turn to help me collect groceries," he held up a hand when Spike began to protest, "Faye's staying here. She said it's your turn."

"Bullshit." He rubbed his face, "Faye likes shopping, she's a chick, kinda, she can go."

"Can the sexist shit. It's your turn. Come on."

Feet dropped unceremoniously on the opposite arm rest, "When'd you become a feminist and why are you so desperate for my company?" He grinned, "I'm not gonna hold your hand and open the doors for you."

Jet rolled his eyes, "You're just so irresistible, Cowboy."

"You just don't want me left alone with Faye."

"I'd like my ship in one piece when I return."

"Isn't Faye walking the dog?"

Jet scowled, "You know what? Never mind. I'll go pick up the supplies **alone**." He headed towards the door, "But I'm buying what **I** want. No bitching if you don't get your…" he scanned his list, "Never mind." He headed towards the doorway, grumbling about inconsiderate monkey people refusing to pull their weight.

Spike groaned his voice heavy from sleep, "I'm not a pack mule."

Faye sung from the hall, "Nope. You're just an ass." Ed brayed in accompaniment. Spike attempted to make a retort.

"Give up. She's already gone." Disgruntled, Spike rolled into a standing slouch and followed the larger man out.

"Ed! ED! Let's go. Get Ein." Faye smiled and quickly clipped a leash to the suspicious corgi. With a gentle tug she led the dog and teen out the door. "Come on. I'm taking you for a nice, long, **dirty** walk." Ed furrowed her brows but decided outside time with Faye was ok, even if she'd end up having to give Ein a bath after. Faye steered the group away from the small settlement, towards the outlying farms. She stopped at the edge of a murky pond and released Ein from his lead. Ed studied Faye's every move curious to learn what she was planning.

Faye gave the dog a hard look, "Go. Go chase something and get as dirty as you want."

The dog sat and cocked his head.

"Ein-Woof-woof wants to know what's in it for him."

Faye sighed, "Besides freedom?" The dog yipped. "Err…I promise I'll give you your bath, no soap in your eyes and warm water?" He lay down. "Fine, I'll dig you up some of those doggy treats too!" Pleased the pup scampered off after a mysterious bug.

Ed turned towards the plotting woman, "Why is Faye-Faye being nice to Woof-woof Ein?"

She grinned, "He deserves a good run, don't you think?"

Ed nodded, unconvinced. "Why?"

The grin grew nasty, "Because I need Ein as dirty as possible." She refused to answer any more questions, opting to rest under a nearby tree. Occasionally, Ein would scamper over only to be shooed away. "Go find some really smelly stuff to play in." She sighed, _I thought dogs liked rolling in shit._

Ein was in puppy bliss. He rarely was allowed the freedom to romp and roll in whatever he wanted. He knew the woman was up to something, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to indulge in his doggy nature, especially if there would be perks.

Jet and Spike's afternoon was relatively sedate. Without Faye or Ed to slow them down, they were nearly done, each man carrying half a dozen packages. A chirp sounded, forcing Jet to pause and juggle bags. His posture immediately stiff and wary. Spike sensing something amiss, lessoned his stride to wait until the stressing bounty hunter finished his call. He spoke in a low, measured voice; his features hardening with every comment from the person on the opposite end. The comm was violently disconnected. Jet's anger palpable.

"What's up?"

Ripped from his thoughts Jet glanced at his partner, "Bob just found out that Lihas," he adjusted packages, "is not in jail. He's making a lot of noise. He and two partners took out half a group of Mars Tech students at a party, yesterday. Two died. The bounty's been tripled."

Spike whistled softly, "How?"

Jet bristled, "Someone dropped in and made a withdrawal." He shifted, "Guy's got a new ship and half a dozen experimental drugs. My money's on the third partner. He must've made some decent connections and set it up. Bob's sending the few images they have of the assistants our way. We need to capture them and make sure we dump them somewhere that can handle 'em." He shook his head. "It's my fault, I dropped him off at the closest station, instead of taking him straight to the main facility on Mars." He shot Spike a nervous glance, "He's goin' to be gunnin' for you and Faye…"

"And to catch him, you want Faye and me as bait." Jet nodded. "You already know where he'll be don't you?"

"I have a good hunch. You won't like it though."

Spike shrugged, "Money's money."

Jet shook his head, "I want to pretend we don't know he's out. We…er… you insulted him by kicking the shit out of him. Faye kneed him in his pride by implying she chose you." He smirked and waited for the news to digest. Spike scowled. "I don't think he knows she's a bounty hunter, just associated with them. I'm goin' to have Ed do some rearranging on her info, just in case."

"What about Boris?"

"He didn't get out." Jet snickered, "I guess the spider got squished." Spike groaned at the poor joke. "We were a little rough. From the files Bob was able to get a hold of, he was obviously in shock. I guess when I popped his head off the tile wall his skull cracked." Spike giggled. "He's still in the prison medical ward. There was no way Lihas could collect him and make it out."

"Huh. Lihas isn't going to be a happy boy."

Jet nodded, "Neither will the third partner, Anthony. Annie said Boris was a bit of a pet to the guy." He jostled an imbalanced package, "Bob said the one witness that survived the breakout heard Lihas grumbling about missing property and teaching a thief a lesson."

"Huh. I didn't know it was stealing when the girl comes to you."

Jet shrugged, "Didn't know Faye was given much of a choice to be with you either," he grinned, "thought it was all an act," and headed straight for the ship, ignoring the disgruntled snort.

Faye immediately noted the lack of male bodies when they entered the Bebop. With a smirk, she began preparing for Ein's bath. "Ed, go grab that bucket and the shampoo I left by the hose." She glanced at the filthy corgi, her mouth twisting into a vindictive snarl. She grabbed some wire cutters while Ed's back was turned and lunged at the dog. Catching his hind leg, she yanked him towards her and snipped a filthy collection of corgi coat. Ein's yip drew Ed's attention. She turned to find Faye with a handful of fur in one hand, a sharp tool in the other and a cowering dog. "Faye-Faye? What did you do to Ein?" Faye grinned and waved the clump of fur. "Nothin' Ed. I just wanted some of Ein's fur." She grinned and pulled out her last cigarette, stuffing the stolen fluff in the empty box. "Let's get Ein clean. He's stinking' up the ship." The corgi growled slightly at the implication, Ed giggled, Faye grabbed the hose, checking the temperature as she stalked towards the displeased pooch.

An hour later the hangar doors slid open. Eyes still adjusting to the dark, Spike's eyebrow quirked when he heard the splash of water, its partner shot up when Jet began cussing, "Wh…wh…what the hell happened here?!" More splashing, "Faye! I thought you were watching them. There's water and soap everywhere!" Spike peeked around his armload and nearly dropped it along with his jaw. Ein was sparkling clean and dripping wet. Faye and Ed were a mess. Ed's shirt hung in a damp, loose mass. Faye's hair was plastered to her forehead, stray twigs, soap bubbles and dirt dangling off her form. She grinned sheepishly at the chaos before collecting her senses and fortifying her resolve, "Ein got messy on our walk." She huffed, "I couldn't let him on the ship. He was a giant dirt clod." She flapped her arms in growing frustration, pitching water droplets towards them. Spike studied the two sopping girls, absently wishing he'd been able to watch Faye wash the dog. _Wonder if it's as good as when she cleans the ships? _He grinned, his treacherous brain heading down its current favorite and most distressful path.

Ein shook violently, showering the space with water. Jet's eyebrows slammed together and the bags in his arms crinkled dangerously, "Faye. Clean. This. Mess. Up. **NOW!**" She stood there, gaping like a fish out of water. Jet's eyes swiveled in her direction, "SHUT IT!" Her jaw clicked shut. "You **will** clean this mess **before** you go past the hangar doors." He shooed Ein into the main part of the ship and glanced at a twitching Ed, "Help her." Spike kept behind the seething man, but it was obvious he was enjoying the show. His shoulders bounced, the packages rattled and the occasional jeering snort would escape. Faye studied his exit, noting the happy twinkle and cheerful stride. _Just wait, Lunkhead. Just __**YOU**__ wait. _She glanced at Ed, who was currently trying to corral the suds into a large pile with her hands, and decided the hangar would be easier to clean alone. With a shove through the hatch and a comment along the lines of, "I don't need help." She resumed her housework, happily planning the bubble bath she would have shortly.

Spike, surprisingly, had been thinking along similar lines, _She's goin' to want a bath as soon as she's done._ He smirked, _Time to end this stupid game. _Dropping off his load he slipped off to the shower, where he carefully unscrewed the head from the sprayer and replaced it with his special surprise. The door leading to the hangar clicked warning him he had to hurry. Hastily he rushed from the room and slunk down onto the couch, visions of a humbled Faye dancing in his head. He chortled when an image of his final result flicked past his drooping eyelids. _Point. Set. Match._


	19. Chapter 19

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

A lesson in revenge.

Chapter 19: The Purple Person Polka

Jet glanced from his storing to look at the disheveled mess that was Ed. He wrinkled his nose. "I thought I told you to help Faye?"

"Ed tried, but Faye-Faye said Ed was too much help. So, Ed was fired." She eyeballed the bread as he tucked it away.

"Go shower and I'll make you a snack." With a toothy grin, she disappeared. Jet knew she had taken him seriously when he heard the water start. Ein must have also taken his promise of a snack to heart, he sat at Jet's feet awaiting an offering. Tongue flopped out the side of his mouth, large brown eyes and a soft whine later and he was rewarded with a milk bone. Pleased, the pooch turned to enjoy his snack in peace and quiet, which meant right below Spike's napping head. Jet noticed as the corgi rounded the corner his hind leg was missing a large amount of fur near the tail. Deciding to question Faye about it later, he began preparing a sandwich for the crew's bottomless pit.

Spike nearly cackled with glee when the tell-tale hiss slipped down the hall. He felt like a comic book villain and stifled his urge to rub his hands together in an evil gloat. Establishing a more supine position he stretched out and awaited the upcoming show with bated breath. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Spike rolled attempting to stifle the annoying noise. He sandwiched his head between his arms but the noise continued and was accompanied by the distinct odor of dog. Uncomfortable and ruing the day Jet ignored his warning about pets, Spike stood and slunk off to his room. It had a lock and therefore provided the semblance of privacy, unless Faye wanted in. Noting the water had shut off, his pace increased. One door closing as another, further down the hall, opened.

Without Ed, cleaning was relatively easy. The Bebop hadn't left port so Faye simply opened the hangar doors and hosed the mess out and over the side of the ship. The broom worked as a squeegee for the largest puddles and with a satisfied 'hmph' she brushed off her hands and directed herself towards her bedroom. She had to drop off some dirty, dog hair and grab her things for a shower. She was relieved to see a sopping wet Ed happily snacking on what resembled a PB'n'J before swinging into the welcoming bliss of the Bebop bath. At the door a gruff voice stopped her, "Faye." She turned, most of her body already through. "Hmm?"

"Why'd you cut a chunk out of Ein's coat?"

_Crap!_ She'd forgotten to cut where it wasn't obvious, going for level of gross instead. Thinking fast she mumbled, "Had a bur knotted in his fur. I couldn't pull it off. He'd yelp and nip, so I just cut the thing out." She let out a sigh of relief when Jet appeared to buy her story.

"What'd you use to cut it with?"

She squirmed, Jet did not like his tools used for alternative jobs, "Eh…yourwirecutters." She said it so quickly it took the ex-cop a moment to process and by the time he had the door was already closed and locked. He thumped on it anyway out of principle. "Dammit, Faye, that's not what they're for! I've got dog clippers in the junk drawer!" Grumbling again about inconsiderate monkey people he fussed his way to the hangar, determined to clean and hide his gear. Her shears of choice were easily spotted and it nearly made him cry. "My diagonal cutters!" His hand trembled as he tenderly began wiping the fuzz off the snips. Frowning, he glanced around the hangar trying to find the supposed cause of his tool's defilement. Not seeing any wayward clumps and mildly surprised at how well the space was cleaned, he began storing his tools.

Freshly showered and ready to begin 'Operation Choke Out' Faye slunk into her room and retrieved the second pack of Spike's smokes she'd bought over a week ago. Grabbing her pack filled with Ein's clippings, she made herself comfortable on her bed. With the ease of a well practiced smoker she opened the pack and dumped its contents. Setting two aside, she lit a third- she did buy the pack- and began to work. She sorted out the coarsest, longest hairs, than stuffed each into the cigarettes. Pleased with the results she collected the pack, placing her two safeties at the edge and headed towards the main room, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Spike heard Faye enter her room and rummage around. Deciding now was the best time to complete the second part of his plan, he collected his supplies and headed towards the bath. After showering, he repeated his previous performance and added his second surprise. Flopping a towel over his shoulder, he made his way to the main room. There, he found Faye on the couch happily reading one of her newly purchased textbooks. He studied her momentarily, noting how she would absently nibble a finger, before shoving her over and taking his preferred position. She snorted, but kept her acerbic commentary to herself. _Hmm…Did she wash it off? _She scratched her neck, _Nope._

Faye couldn't keep still and instead of crowing and dancing around singing 'I'm gonna get you!' she resorted to scratching nervously. Finished with the chapter, she pulled out the pack of rigged smokes and retrieved a safety. Repressing the urge to giggle she lit up, with the silver lighter she snagged off his dresser. She clicked it closed and grinned, _He really should keep track of this._ She took a puff, noting she had Spike's full attention.

"Where the hell'd you get those?"

She shrugged, "The store," flipped the lighter into the air. Catching it she leveled a look of innocence.

"Don't give me that look," he made a snatch for the lighter. Faye tipped her torso away and stretched the ill gotten gains just out of his reach. "That is **my** lighter and those are my brand of smokes," he gestured to each and scowled, "When'd you swiped 'em?" Faye sputtered, righteously indignant, with a very good reason- she hadn't stolen them. She flicked the lighter in frustration and blew a stream of smoke his direction. Spike hunkered low in the couch, appearing to the unwary that he had lost interest in the battle. Faye; having played this game before; noted his studious expression, his feet firmly planted on the floor and the slight stiffening of his body. She slid further up the couch and away from the smoldering man. Unfortunately, her movement was the 'go' signal. His arm suddenly snapped out; exposing the healing bite mark; and caught one of her kicking feet, in a continuous yank she was forced closer, and with little effort the objects, he was certain she'd nicked off his dresser, were retrieved. Standing, he took a step away before Faye could fully process.

"Hey! Give those back!" She took a swipe, he dodged and pulled out a smoke. "Spike!" She stomped her foot and lunged. Apparently on autopilot, he side stepped her advance and disappeared. Faye screeched at his retreating back, "SPIKE! Those are mine. MINE! I bought them with my own money." He turned the corner, "OI! Give. Those. Back!" A chuckle returned. Faye sat down, pleased with her performance.

"Why didn't Faye try harder?" Ed asked a piece of paper stuck to her arm.

"Didn't want to keep 'em." Faye winked, yanked the paper off, "They're special, just for him." Ed's eyes widened in understanding. She scratched and stood, various crumbs and floor debris clinging to her legs. Instantly, she began flailing, trying to shake the offending attachments off, while Ein licked her shins. "What the heck?" Faye licked her finger and ran it down Ed's cheek. "Ed go shower, you're sticky!"

"But Ed already showered. Papa Jet said, 'No shower. No snack.' and Ed was hung-gry." Faye scowled, sensing a backfired prank, "Well shower again. You've got to or you're going to stick to everything and attract ants."

Ed seemed not to believe her. "Lick your finger and tell me what flavor you get."

Nervously Ed stuck her hand in her mouth, "Ib tasssddes luck canty."

_Holy shit! How freakin' big is her mouth!? _Regaining composure and losing patience Faye sighed, "Spike rigged the shower head." She grimaced when Ein started on the other leg, "EWW! Go shower before Ein gets sick." _Or I do! _Ed just stared. Melting boneless onto the floor she resumed her searching.

"Papa Jet told Ed to find new bounty heads and there are no ants on the Bebop, Ed would know."

She groaned, "Ed. Go shower." Faye gave up when the typing continued. It was obvious she was being ignored.

Spike found Jet compulsively polishing his tools. He dropped the filter of his victory smoke and pressed it under his boot. "You're goin' to wipe off the shine if you aren't careful." A wrench fell when Jet jumped, turning to meet Spike's half a grin.

"Shut up." He noticed the pack of cigarettes held loosely in his partner's wrapped hand, "Where'd you get those?"

Spike shrugged pulling out another, "Faye had 'em." He placed it between his lips and felt for the lighter. "Probably stole 'em along with this lighter."

Jet grunted.

"Woman takes anything that isn't nailed down. Damn klepto."

Jet shifted, suddenly Faye's desire to bond with Ed and Ein, and the mystery bur made sense. "Hey, uhh Spike…" He recalled the filthy hair stuck to the clippers, "Spike. I wouldn't…" Spike pulled the lighter from his pocket, flicking it open and lighting it in one seamless move. The flame neared the end of the smoke, "Don't…" Ignition. Inhale. Jet mentally groaned, took a step back, his stomach flopping in sympathy for the hell his younger partner was about to live through. Spike puffed, once, twice. Jet relaxed and shrugged, _Guess she was telling the truth. _Returning his attention to his tools he forgot all about his suspicions.

"Unghh!" Jet pivoted in time to see Spike's color change not thinking he took another drag, "Hunnga! What the…" he removed the cigarette from his face but the smoke still drifted towards him. A third whiff was too much and Jet watched as Spike grabbed a nearby bucket and relieved himself of dinner. After another bout of regurgitation, Jet was certain Spike had removed lunch and breakfast too. He crinkled his nose when the offensive smoke wafted his way, _Yup. Burning hair_.

"I'd trash those smokes Spike." Jet guffawed at the younger man's discolored complexion, a thin sheen of sweat covering his brow. He shook his head when Spike tried to remove the previous day's meals as well. "Face it, Faye got ya. Alone." The response, a pathetic attempt at a scathing glare, followed by dry heaves. "I'm not cleaning up after you," Jet turned to leave, "AND don't you **dare** leave that here." He took the silence as assent and decided, for his sanity, he would send someone after a bounty before the impending show down with Lihas or between Spike and Faye. _They're going to kill each other._

Jet gaped at the sight before him. In fact, he strongly considered hiding out in his bonsais. Ed was sprawled out on the floor, the perfect representation of a human lint roller. Various bits and pieces of refuse clinging to her, while Ein licked her feet. Faye was aghast on the couch, her book hanging limply in one hand. "What the hell's going on, Faye?" She didn't respond, watching as the corgi began on the hacker's hair. "Faye? Faye. Faye!" She turned, eyes wide. Jet waited for her to blink then spoke slowly- she appeared to have brain damage, "What's going on?"

Her head swiveled back to study Ed and Ein's antics, "I think she showered in sugar water and won't wash it off."

"What? She'll attract ants."

Ed snickered, "There are no ants on the Bebop. Ed would know!"

Faye frowned, "She got a prank meant for me. Spike must have rigged the shower."

"Like you rigged his smokes?" Faye hunched, attempting to look smaller before giving up and turning with a suppressed smug expression.

"Oh. He found my surprise, did he?" Jet contorted his face to express sympathy, impatience, mild humor, but mostly aggravation. Choosing the latter, he leveled a glare on the twitching teen. "ED!" she rolled, blinking innocently, "Go shower that crap off…" she had yet to move, "**NOW!!**" Needing no further prodding she disappeared. He decided Faye would be impervious to threats, experience having proven so numerous times. He chuckled, "I wonder if Spike's still throwing up."

"Those hairs were filthy," she tittered, "I let Ein roll in everything nearby. Did Spike like the cow dung?" Faye's giggles grew, "You think he liked O'de Corgi ass?!"

Jet pulled a face, "What made you think of trying something like that? It's ingeniously vicious."

She flashed a toothy grin, "Ever smell burnt hair?" Jet nodded, Faye shrugged. "Well, there you go." She touched her chin in thought, "I'd hate to think what it would be like to actually inhale it." Her grin morphed into something nightmarish, "I bet it's all he tastes for a week."

"You know he'll retaliate."

"Damn right I will." They spun towards the doorway, Spike hanging limply to the frame. His color still hadn't returned to a healthy pallor. He clung to the rail as he eased down the stair, shaking. Somewhere from the hangar to the lounge he'd collected a bottle of vodka, already collecting condensation.

Faye looked unfazed and cooed, "Wasn't it you who said turn about's a bitch?" Spike scowled. "I don't know what you're so mad about, Spike. It was just some harmless fun."

"Harmless? Harmless!"

"Ahh… It's ok Spike. No need to get so angry." Her grin rivaled the Cheshire Cat's, "It was just a little gag." She pulled a sick face, pretending to vomit. Spike gave a low threatening snarl as he advanced.

Jet shook his head, "Just keep the fall out away from innocent bystanders." He turned to leave, "And no more using Ed to help! I don't need that kid getting any strange ideas." He paused, noting the water drops in Spike's wake, "And vodka is not a good remedy for nausea."

Faye snickered manically, "Ahh… did lil' Spiky get a tummy ache?"

He leveled a sickened glare. Jet, giving up on the two, began crossing the threshold when he crashed into a sopping wet Ed. She looked up at him eyes wide and highly distressed. "Ed what's…" he backed into the light dragging the girl with.

"Holy hell, Ed, what did you eat?!" Faye launched instantly forgetting her brewing argument. She turned the towel clad girl around. "Wha…what happened?" Ed shrugged, eyes wide studying her purplish skin in the light. Faye was gently touching the now brownish mess that once was Ed's hair. Spike took a slug from the bottle, grimacing. Faye was right, all he could taste was burnt hair. He peeked around the two hovering adults, _Oops._ He distanced himself when he sensed Faye stiffen.

"Why is Ed colored funny?" The teen's eyes appearing washed out with her new complexion. She glanced at Jet, "Papa-Jet didn't give Ed bad grape jelly, did he?"

Jet shook his head vehemently, "No. It was strawberry."

Faye suddenly snorted, "She looks like Violet Beauregard!"

"Who?!" Spike had never met a purple human and decided age was catching up with Faye. She was definitely insane. He took another swallow in mourning or celebration- he didn't care.

She grinned, "She was a girl from a children's book I read."

Spike snorted as he eased himself on the couch, his stomach protesting slightly, "You read?"

"Fuck you."

Another snort, "Your vocabulary says otherwise." Jet snickered. Spike propped a foot on one of the books Faye bought, "These have lots of pretty pictures for you to look at?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Faye watched as Spike took a rather long pull from the chilled bottle. Changing the subject, "In the story the girl eats something and it reacts funny, turning her into a giant blueberry."

Ed gasped, "What happened to her?!"

"Oh. The oompa loompas juice her."

Another panicked gasp, "Will…will… willEdbejuiced?!"

Faye realizing her mistake attempted to make amends, "No. That was just a story. You turned blue because of dye in the water, not because you ate something. No juicing needed." She took an appraising glance at the poor kid, "A bath might help. Come on. I think I can… eh… lighten your tone."

"Ed doesn't want another shower!!" She squealed as Faye herded her down the hall.

"It's not a shower!"

"No more!"

"I'll put bubbles in the water."

"No… bubbles?" A door clicked.

"Poor kid," Jet turned his attention back on the ailing Spike, "Why'd you pick purple? I would think that if you were trying to dye Faye you'd use orange or green." Spike shrugged- he still wanted to argue with Faye, not discuss his choice with Jet. His jaw dropped, "You went easy on her didn't you?!"

"Nah. First box I snatched." He snorted, "Like I paid attention to the colors."

Jet wasn't convinced but let the matter drop, "What is it?"

"Food coloring pellets." Understanding, Jet left to see if Faye needed help. At the closed door he heard excited giggling and the splash of water.

"Ohh! Faye-Faye this smells nice!"

"Ed don't use so much! ED!" Deciding Faye had it covered, Jet left to finish his chores. There was some research he had to complete. Before Ed was dyed she'd pulled up a few local bounties and he wanted to make sure neither of his unruly partners had a chance to up the ante. He sighed, realizing that it would never happen, _They'll blow the ship up before either admits defeat_.

Ed was happily floating in the bathtub, some of Faye's special face goop soaking in. Faye perched on the toilet appeared to be playing chemist with a variety of bottles. She quit her happy splashing to watch Faye work. "What is Faye-Faye doing with the shampoo?" Faye arched her brow and continued mixing bottle contents. Ed leaned further from the tub. "Faye what is that white stuff it stinks?"

Faye glanced at her, "Hair remover. Make sure you don't use this shampoo or you'll end up bald instead of purple. Use mine instead."

Ed nodded, "Ed likes Faye's shampoo it smells yummy."

She giggled, "That's one of the perks of being a girl. Make sure you tell Jet not to use these." Ed nodded, Faye grinned, "This'll teach Spike not to mess with our baths."

Ed's smile grew, "Ed promises she will tell Papa Jet not to use the shampoo and conditioner."

"Good girl." Faye patted Ed's head before returning the supplies to their respective locations. "Don't forget." She chided before clicking the door closed.


	20. Chapter 20

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

A petty apprehension.

Chapter 20: Lipstick and Bruises (Lit)

Jet glanced up from his research frowning at a drooling Spike sprawled on the couch, the half a vodka bottle nestled under his arm like a teddy bear. _How can he just sleep like that when he knows Faye's after him?_ He shook his head deciding he would send her to catch Lester Lopov. _You owe me, Spike._ Tapping on her bedroom door he heard a muffled, "What?" Taking that as his cue, he entered the room to find Faye digging in her closet, piles of clothes littering the floor.

"Faye." She jumped, banging her head on the clothes rod. She scuttled from the darkened recesses and waited for him to continue, "I've got a bounty for you. He isn't worth much, but he's enough to get that new part." He purposely avoided which ship the part belonged to. Faye held out her hand for the bounty's information. Her brow rose slowly as she continued to scan the page. "A pick- pocket?" She snorted, "Jet he's only worth 1500 Woolongs." He nodded. Faye groaned, "Let me guess he's nearby."

Another nod, "He should be on…"

"Oh no. No." She groaned, "He's on Mimas?! That place is like tourist central. It's hell!" Another nod. Faye sighed.

"It's an easy catch," Jet cajoled, "The tourists clump in specific areas and that's where our guy'll be."

"Why not send Spike?" Her voiced dripped with contempt.

Jet thought quickly, "What. Can't you handle a lousy thief?" He silently gave himself a pat on the back when Faye took the bait. He sighed and turned to leave, "I guess I can ask…"

"I can handle a pathetic purse snatcher!" She frowned, catching onto Jet's ploy a moment too late. "Fine. It shouldn't take long." She flipped through the papers again, "Looks like you and Ed got a lot of info on him." She eyeballed her assortment of clothing, "Get out. I'm not going to that frozen shit hole dressed like this."

At the door he grumbled, "Keep your comm on, just in case." He heard the soft grunt of acceptance and with a soft click he left her alone to prepare. An hour later, the hangar clang shut and the RedTail zipped from sight. He felt a little guilty sending her to family vacation central alone, but decided it was for the best. With one trickster out of the nest the other would have no one to hassle and he could get some much needed down time- maybe even a few hours sleep.

Ed peered at him from her preferred spot at the end of the coffee table, "Where'd Faye-Faye go?" Jet noted that Faye had done remarkably well removing most of the discoloration. Though still slightly grey, the most notable alteration was the strangely streaked brownish-blue and copper hair. Ed caught his expression, "Faye-Faye said it'll wash out soon." She smiled and repeated her question, "Did Faye-Faye go after a bounty head?"

Jet nodded, "I sent her after Lopov." Ed's head bobbled, pulling another face when Spike began to snore. Jet took the opportunity to snatch the Vodka bottle and return it to the freezer. With the crew quiet and precautions taken Jet took a final once over of his flight plan and decided to rinse off the day's events. Between bonsai, tools and repairs he was filthy. Shuffling to the bathroom he missed Spike slinking to one of the storage rooms.

He hadn't heard Faye since he passed out on the couch several hours earlier and assumed she was asleep in her room. Lethargically he emptied a trash can and filled it with water. Wincing at a sudden stab in the center of his skull he paused, resting a hand against the wall, until the world stopped spinning. _Perhaps I should wait 'til tomorrow._ He snorted at the thought, sucked up his resolve and lugged the full can to Faye's bedroom. After tilting it against the door, he staggered back to his own bed. The world spun precariously as he settled and before he could lose his booze, he placed his foot firmly on the floor slipping off to dream of an upset Faye.

Faye was **not** a happy bounty hunter. An arctic breeze ripped by. Nope. Not happy at all. She clutched her coat tighter and mourned her moment of temporary common sense, she felt naked without her trademark yellow. With another frigid breeze she immediately changed her mind and came to the conclusion that perhaps it was time to expand her wardrobe- layers were good and there really wasn't anything wrong with slacks and boots. She shivered, again, watching another shipload brimming with young families take in the wonders of Herschel's Crater. She had spent six, teeth chattering hours on the observation point, the RedTail a click of her bracelet away, and no sign of Lopov. _The cheap ones always suck_. She jumped out of the path of a rather messy, pig nosed boy headed straight for her thigh.

"Eh… s'rry 'bout 'at m'am." She gave the child's father a friendly smile, pretending to not care. Internally, she wanted to kick the nuisance over the guard rail. _I wonder if he'd bounce?_ Stepping away from temptation, she wandered into the gift shop and cafeteria, tripping over a hunched Lopov attempting to cut the strap of a frustrated mother's purse.

He jumped and spun on her, "What the…?"

Faye smiled and grabbed his hand in a gesture of kindness, "Oh excuse me!" She brought her other hand out and snapped a cuff over his wrist. She congratulated her finesse, he hadn't noticed yet. With a quick kick to the back of his knee, she spun her body behind him- pulling the cuffed arm with. As he fell she braced for balance and snatched the second hand on impact. Knocking the penknife from his fingers she forced his arm to comply with its mate, and connected the two. She then sat him up and collected his blade.

"What?!" The distracted woman turned and found a disheveled Lester kneeling behind her. Faye continued to frisk the addled man, tossing the woman her wallet in the process. "Hey that's mine!"

Faye took her eyes off the bounty, "Yeah. I know. You want it back or you want to try and collect it from ISSP after I turn him in?" Catching the not so subtle hint that she would lose her wallet the woman collected her belongings and ushered her children away.

As if on cue, Lester began squirming and screaming, "Help! Someone help me!" A few families glanced over, "This woman. She's kidnapping me! Save me someone." He tried to kick out at her, knocking her into a trash can. Faye's hand bounced off a cement column. "I don't know you! Stranger! Stranger!"

Furious Faye grabbed his collar and punched him in the jaw, wincing. She smiled in satisfaction when Lopov became silent, "Stranger danger is for little kids, idiot." She flicked his nose, grinning at his watering eyes.

A shadow fell over the pair, "Miss. What's goin' on here?"

Faye turned to find a rather large, security guard hovering. She groaned, _Just my luck to run into an all powerful rent a cop._ She batted her eyelashes and gave a sweet smile, "Well…uh…officer I was just collecting a bounty." There was an audible gasp from the observing families. Faye pressed on, "You… uh… don't want a pick-pocket helping himself to everyone's wallets do you?"

The man looked unconvinced until the near victim came forward, "That's right! She just saved my money from that… that… that very bad man!" A rustle of voices filled the small space and the guard plucked at his collar.

Faye gave a knowing nod, "Thieves are pretty bad for business, wouldn't you say…" she glanced at the name plaque, "Mr. Doyel?"

He frowned and tugged his pants back to their proper location, "Miss you're making a scene, please leave."

Faye smiled, "Sure," dragging Lopov to his feet and pushing him out the door. The moment the glass slid home the thief began with a new performance. "You're too pretty to be a bounty hunter. I got a friend who could make you famous."

Faye snorted, "No thanks."

"Ahh come on. I can't be worth much, why not just let me go?"

"Not feeling generous today," she began flexing her injured hand, "sucks to be you."

"Bitch!" He thrust forward, dragging Faye with him. "I ain't goin' t' jail!!" Faye let go, to avoid falling with, and grimaced when his head bounced off the concrete deck. _Oopsies. No hands to break the fall._ She signaled the RedTail and forced the dazed bounty back to his feet. She grinned, pleased, as the families scattered away from the approaching craft. Once settled, she called the Bebop. Ed answered on the third beep.

"Bebop Bebop!" She glanced at the screen, "Ah. Hey Faye-Faye."

"Hey Ed. Tell Jet I've got Lopov," Ed nodded. "Where are you guys?"

Ed glanced off screen for a moment, "Bebop just passed the floating rock belt."

"Got it. Let Jet know I'm bringing Lopov to the ship." She disconnected before further discussion. She vaguely noted him stirring behind her and jerked the ship sharply to the left, grinning when she heard him ricochet off the side of the pod with a pained grunt.

"You fuckin' skank! Let me go!" He thrashed around for a moment until he wore out.

Faye snickered, "Petty theft made you soft." He growled and stirred some more.

"Do you know what they do to guys like me in prison?"

She snorted, "You'll be someone's bitch." She zipped around slower traffic, Lopov being tossed with every turn. Faye giggled, "Or worse."

He shifted, "I won't go. Can't make me!!" Faye decided to ignore him, not a big fan of whining and concentrated on the upcoming Bebop. She entered the landing sequence and slid back into her seat. _I can't wait to crawl into bed and sleep._ She vaguely noted Lester moving again. "Why so twitchy? Your foot fall as…" Cold metal wrapped around her neck, two shaking fists in her periphery. "I told you I won't go to jail!" He hissed frantically. Faye's brain fell off track the second the chilly chain bit into her throat. Shocked she kicked out, trying to squirm from his grasp. While flailing, Faye flicked her communicator on. Ed and Ein glanced at the screen, unnoticed by the struggling woman and irate bounty.

The links bit deeper. With her feet against the console Faye straightened her legs, her head slamming into Lopov's chin. Now off the pilot's chair she fell with him, tucking her chin she began elbowing his ribcage. He yanked his hands over her head in order to gain some distance and a semblance of protection. Faye immediately pushed away, falling forward when the ship jarred suddenly- the docking clasps grabbing hold. Momentum launched her into the console, her fingers broke the fall. Furious at the sudden pain shooting up her arm Faye 'vented' on a fetal positioned Lopov. He made a few attempts to fend her off, but gave up for cowering when her foot made sharp contact with his side as the hatch hissed open. Unable to breath he passed out. No longer trapped, Faye escaped.

Ed sat, transfixed. Ein dashed off towards Jet, busting through the bedroom door and landing on the snoozing man. He snorted and bolted upright, "Ein! What the…?!" The pup latched onto his pant leg and pulled. "Ok. Ok. Lead the way." Immediately the dog leapt from the bed and stormed to the hangar door, Jet hot on his tail. Ed whipped out behind the racing duo, "Faye-Faye just landed." Jet's mind was racing, _Why are Ed and Ein so worried?_ "Ed what's…" he heard the tell-tale whoosh of the hangar pressurizing and burst through the door. At the top of the steps he had an unobstructed view inside the cockpit. Faye was beating something on the floor of her MONO pod. She kicked viciously at the unknown, before opening the hatch and toppling out. Instantly on her feet she dashed past her stunned crewmates.

"Lopov's on the floor. I don't think he's dead." She cradled her hand and frowned, "Shit head better not be." Jet nodded and retrieved the unconscious bounty. Whatever the guy had done it was the wrong trick to pull. Eyes blackened, his hand had a distinct shoe imprint and based on the labored wheezing, Jet was certain a rib or two was broken. Shaking his head he drug the man out and up the stairs. After dropping the bounty in the make shift holding cell- a converted broom closet, he returned to the main room. Faye was sitting on the couch glaring at the first aid kit. With a sigh, he sat in front and began assessing damage, noting she favored one hand. He examined her fingers, the misshapen one hard to miss. She flinched when he touched it. "This'll hurt," he jerked the finger back into alignment before she had the chance to fight. Now splinted and wrapped to its neighbors he waited to be filled in.

She gratefully accepted the pain killers and ice pack before slinking off for bed. Quite pleased when she heard the pained sniffles coming from the storage closet across the lounge's doorway. Stumbling to her room her foot hit something. Grimacing at having to move the trail of bruises across her neck and jaw, she turned livid when she saw a bucket of water propped against the door. Her eyebrow twitched, _That's it! _Fuming, she tugged the container to Spike's, mimicking its previous position. Satisfied she settled into her own bed, groaning at the numerous aches and pains, waiting for the pain pills to take her to blissful, dreamless sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

We learn Ed is not the only one who bites.

Chapter 21: Devil's Haircut (Beck)

Jet twitched uncomfortably, Ed had not stopped staring at him since Faye left. "What?" She giggled. "What is it Ed?"

"Papa Jet, where did your hair go?"

"What?"

"Papa Jet's beard is gone." He rubbed his chin and instead of the customary, course hair his hand met skin.

"What the hell?!" Ed suddenly became overly nervous, slinking away from the guaranteed explosion. "Hold up, cowgirl. What happened?"

Ed attempted to shrink, "Faye-Faye put stinky, white stuff in the shampoo. Ed forgot to tell you." Jet didn't have the energy to bother. He cussed, sending Ed deeper into the shadowed hallway. He should have known both he and Ed would get drug into this nasty little game. He waved Ed back, "Relax. It'll end soon." She glanced at her off-colored nails and gave a serious nod. Ein sank between the two- he was, after all, the first victim.

Ed grinned, "Edward thinks they are flirting like kids."

"Yup." He reached for his chin, pausing mid beard rub and internally mourning the loss of what had been his identity. He sighed, _Over ten years I've had that beard. TEN! And they destroy it in less than a week._ He made his way to the bathroom, glaring at the face that looked back. He turned his head side to side, grimacing when he found all the reasons he had grown the facial hair in the first place. He jumped when his comm chirped. "Yes."

"Hey Cowboy."

"Miss Annie, how'd you get this connection?"

She chuckled, "I have my ways, Handsome. Hmmm… Why so shy?"

"I was sleeping, this is my personal comm, no visual feed. What can I do for you?"

"I've heard some friends talkin' about Kevie. He's out, you know."

Jet grunted.

"Well, rumor has it he'll be at that cute little place I invited you to in the next week or so." A smile dripped into her voice, "Hope to see you there." She disconnected before Jet could respond. He glared at himself in the mirror. Defeated, he flicked off the light and stomped to his room noting the trash can of water had changed doorways. _Why can't they just grow up and admit the truth?!_

Sometime after three, Spike made his appearance- punctuated by the sloshing of soaked shoes. He refused to acknowledge the rest of the crew, opting to make a prairie oyster before dealing with daily necessaries. Returning to the lounge he discovered Faye was keeping a wide birth between herself and Jet, currently hidden behind a paper. "Spike," Jet's voice floated out of the crinkling pages, "You clean up that water?"

"Yeah." He grinned, "I threw some rags on it." His gaze fell on Faye, _She'll blow when she sees what I used. _She glanced at Spike, her eyes roaming to his disheveled hair, a look of discomfort evident. Jet rapped the paper, folding it neatly before tossing it on the coffee table. Everyone's composure shattered the second Spike's mug hit the floor. "What the hell'd you do Jet?" Spike flopped next to the recently made over man.

"Nothing," Jet hissed, "This was meant for you." Spike's eyes swiveled to Faye. _She moves like her neck's stiff._ He then took note of her desperate attempt to remain composed. A damaged hand tucking a wayward strand behind her ear, Spike locked on the wrapped digit, _What the hell? _He ignored the fact he was suddenly angry at her assailant, opting to wonder over the accrued damage.

Faye cleared her throat and in a strained voice, "Jet. I'm so, so sorry." She took a shivery breath, suppressed laughter evident in her eyes, "Ed was supposed to warn you." She shot the hacker a glare.

"Ed forgot until it was too late." She whispered behind the computer, "Ed already apologized. She is very, **very** sorry." She took a tentative peek before her face exploded in pleasure, "Ed didn't know you had dimples!"

"I don't."

Faye giggled, "Or a strong jaw line."

"Shut it!"

"Such great features, it's a shame to hide them behind all that facial hair."

Jet slanted a gaze her way. Spike's jaw dropped. A harmonic "What?!" escaped both men.

"You heard me." Her head cocked to the side, "You look younger, more distinguished."

"Ed thinks Papa Jet is handsome." The teen tittered.

"Pff… he looks like a cue ball." Both females gasped and Jet flushed.

Faye cooed, "Ahh… so cute!" Jet frowned, he was **not **cute. "I bet you get a lot more girls this way." She glared at Spike, "F.Y.I. Cowboy. Lots of women like clean shaven, bald men." Spike snorted. "It shows they're confident." Another derisive noise. "Whatever. All women find confidence sexy." Jet felt less willing to throttle Faye. She was definitely the only expert on what attracted women, not that he cared- much.

"Bullshit, Faye. You're just tryin' to cover your ass."

"Ahh… Spike you have to realize there's a difference between being cocky and confident." Her lip curled, "Cocky is cute on a teenage boy not a nearly thirty year old man." Teeth became exposed as she purred, "Confidence is irresistible." She nodded sagely. Jet squirmed uncomfortably, _Is she trying to make him jealous?_ He studied the reaction, _'Cause it's working._

Spike shot Jet an appraising glare and shook his head, "Still gotta call bullshit, Faye." She quirked an eyebrow. "I've seen what you chase after and they'd qualify as cocky, pretty boys."

She scoffed, "Hmm. You seem to pay a lot of attention to who I'm drawn to." She grinned, "You've even made completely wrong assumptions. Why's that?"

"Ass out of you and me!" Ed squealed, she stilled when it was obvious she was being ignored.

Spike shrugged, "Sheer entertainment." His brows furrowed slightly when he made out the faint imprint of a chain link on her neck.

"What?" Faye hummed, "Can't get any, so you watch others for tips?" Spike snorted his eyes again locking on the immobile digit. "Sorry to burst your fantasy fodder…"

Spike choked on a rough chortle, "You've nothing worth fantasizing about. I'm not a fan of sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths…" he ticked places off on his fingers pausing, "Stop me any time."

"It'd be…" Faye's cheeks pinked and she tried to recover, "You blew your story, Lunkhead. Sloppy seconds hints that you've thought about me sleeping with the guys I let buy me drinks." Internally, she sighed _Not like I date- ever. _She leveled an intense gaze, "Why would you even care… if **you** weren't interested?"

"Just thinking about the health of my comrades," he bobbed his head towards Ed and Jet.

Faye's expression darkened, "Bullshit! You don't give a flying fuck about your so called comrades." Spike sat up, his eyes narrowing. "Only thing you cared about was your fucked up pride."

Spike's jaw tightened, "Do you **have** a point or you just on high bitch today?"

Faye's expression changed. Suddenly morphing from high level fury to smug; she stepped towards the slouching cowboy reeling from the change in gears, and purred, "Spike. You haven't a clue what's wrong with me."

She allowed a small, seductive smirk when he stiffened. "Pff. Like I care, Faye." She slunk closer, nudging his legs off the table and sank next to him, one leg tucked under her, the other on the floor. She leaned closer. Spike sat up, tilting his body away from the advance. Her hand settled on the exposed couch between his thighs, she bent closer. Jet and Ed sat transfixed; this was a new, less violent turn in the regular arguments. Spike's thought processes slowed the second Faye's hand landed. He wasn't sure what to do. Deciding that she would soon be over her head, he took a calming breath and waited to call her bluff.

The grin still was affixed as she placed her weight on her knee and strategically positioned hand, and slipped her free arm along the back of the couch. "Would you like to know?" Her voice was barely a whisper, promising all things wonderful. Spike swallowed. She pressed her upper body against him, he noted absently the citrusy scent. "I'll tell you Cow-boy, if you ask." Her face inches from his. Spike's eyes swiveled to the gaping pair across the room, immediately returning to Faye the second he felt her shift closer. Noses touching, eyes closing, heads tilting, Faye finished the final few inches…

"OUCH!" Spike jumped. His hand touching his bruised lip, "You bit me."

Faye shrugged, already exiting. She paused in the doorway, "Just a little something for you to think about." She winked and disappeared.

"Damn. I didn't know what she was going to do." Jet shook his head, surprised.

Spike frowned, "Ed must be rubbing off on her."

Ed bristled at the slight, before coming up with a tactic of her own: grinning like a maniac she crowed, "Ed thinks Spike liked it!"

"Shut up."

Jet chuckled, "I do too."

Spike slouched back down, dropping his soggy feet back onto the table. Ed resumed her typing and Jet began studying the latest news on Lihas. The quiet was soon interrupted by stomping feet.

SPLAT! Spike sputtered removing a drenched rag from his face, only to find a seething Faye. "You… you… you asshole! What the hell'd you do with my clothes?!" Jet rolled his eyes, _She was doing so well too._ Another piece of clothing slapped Spike's head. "There are rags all over this ship, but you choose to use **my** clothes!?"

Spike's shoulders bounced, "Oops. Thought they were rags. He held up a ravaged red shirt. "Not much material here…"

She twitched, grabbing another piece of destruction and held it aloft. Jet shook his head when he realized the rag was actually half of Faye's favorite top. Spike had done far more than simply use the articles to sop up excess water. He very carefully made them irreparable. As Faye began tossing wet garments, Jet noted he had only destroyed the yellow outfit- he'd even found a way to annihilate her little, white boots and goofy headband. With another reverberating, soppy slap Faye turned on her heels and left a dripping Spike and stunned silence.

"Wow," Jet scratched his head. Spike's eyes slid closed as he returned his soaked boots to the coffee table, his head flopping back into the perfect, sprawling slump. "Get off the furniture, you're soaked." He kicked Spike's legs down and collected one of Faye's thrashed pieces of laundry. He snorted, "You sure were thorough."

Spike grinned, "Yup. I hate half assed."

Collecting the mass Jet grumbled, good naturedly, "Guess I'll throw these out."

"It'd be for the best, they're not very absorbent." Spike tugged off the wet jacket, appearing otherwise unfazed by Faye's temper tantrum.

Ed shifted, attracting Spike's gaze. "Spike person?" He grunted. "Why didn't you fight back when Faye-Faye was yelling at you?" Jet stilled his home-making, suddenly curious.

Spike shrugged, "She needed to vent."

Ed shook her head, typing a few commands before continuing. "Ed thought you liked making Faye-Faye cranky?" Spike stiffened. "That's why you tease her, isn't it?" Jet noted Ed was using pronouns and keeping the discussion relatively linear. "I think you're afraid to be her friend."

"Edward." Spike's voice full of threat, "**I** think it would be wise to drop this line of conversation." He glared at her from his lowered lashes, jaw firmly clenched. "**I **have **no **interest in becoming Faye's friend. She's a pain in the ass, free loader with absolutely **no** redeeming qualities."

Jet cleared his throat, "Knock it off Spike." Spike's face melted into confusion. Jet shrugged, "She's changed. We all have. **You** just refuse to see it." Spike slumped further and returned his feet to the table. "Faye actually does a half-decent job collecting bounties. While you were recovering she and Ed were pretty much **the** team." Jet snorted, "I think she threatens you."

Ed gasped, "Spike-person is scared of Faye-Faye?" She scuttled behind a chair. "But he likes playing kissy-face with her." Ed puckered in order to make the accompanying sound effects.

Spike hissed, "Not likely."

"She's a part of this team, Spike. Just like Ed and Ein. They all **earn **their keep." He stood, "Learn to deal with it. I'm going to drop off Faye's catch. Behave." He left, flipping Lihas's file in Spike's lap.

Spike tossed the information on the table and sat in grumpy meditation. He sucked on his bruised lip. It still hurt. With a glance at the typing hacker he shifted. "Hey, Ed. Ed." He waited for her to pause. "What happened last night?"

"Hmmm…" she touched a purplish finger to her chin, "Ed was turned colors. Spike got all 'bleh bleh', Papa Jet lost his beard and Faye-Faye beat up a bounty head and broke her finger."

"What?"

"Ed turned colors…"

"No. When did Faye pull in a bounty?"

"Last night. Does Spike-person want to see? Ed found the surveillance video. Faye-Faye was all heeya. Punch, kick, like Spike-person takes out a bounty head. Only nothing broke..." she frowned, "except Faye-Faye's finger."

"Huh."

He slid behind her and watched the various snippets of tape, shocked over the smooth take-down. It looked effortless and resulted in no property damage. "Faye-Faye was cool, huh?"

"Sure, Ed. How'd she get hurt?"

"Oh. The bad man tried to choke Faye-Faye." Ed pulled up the comm visual. "Ed was scared when she saw the man try to hug Faye-Faye with his bracelets." Pleased that she was still a klutz, he had to admit, begrudgingly, that he was impressed. Some physical exercise was in order. It didn't require deep thought about the oddities that made up the Bebop crew. In the hall, Jet shot him a knowing look before yanking a short, well pummeled man from the hall closet. The prisoner produced a pathetic gaze before Jet tugged up on his arm and marched him away.Entering the observation deck, he began stretching only to be interrupted, again. Glancing around the space he found Faye absorbed in a different textbook. She turned the page, peering over the top, "I'm **not **leaving. First come, first served."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. Purposely ignoring her, he started his workout. Tired of getting splattered with Spike sweat, Faye left him alone. He grinned, pausing mid kick to watch her retreat to the lounge. Now with the distraction gone, he resumed in earnest.

Faye grabbed the bounty folder resting on the table. She was cranky after the unwanted shower. Now she was furious after flipping through the file. She'd been bait for Lihas and no one bothered to tell her he was a certifiable, psychotic murderer- it wasn't that she minded the role, but it is always nice to know ahead of time who you're expected to flush out. "Ed. Where's Jet?"

"Making deliveries," her typing paused to mimic pressing a doorbell, "Ding-dong. Here's a bounty package for you!" She giggled and began singing, "M-o-n-e-y buys us food so we don't die…"

Faye tuned her out and continued surveying Lihas's file, finished she left the room. With a jacket and a money card she poked her head back in. "Ed tell the guys I'll be back later."

"Where is Faye-Faye going?"

She grinned, pocketing the cards and sang, "Shopping!"


	22. Chapter 22

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Shopping!

Chapter 22: Money for Nothing (Dire Straits)

Faye pulled a face at the swanky bar fronting as a dump. She dodged a group of girls giggling about 'poor people drinks'. Settling into a plush stool she nearly choked. According to the snickering, trust fund babies the 'poor people' booze was far from it. She bought the cheapest cocktail offered, a soda, and did some people watching. A tall man in an expensive suit settled into the neighboring stool. Faye glanced at him, _He looks familiar._

He chortled, low and throaty, "You drinkin' pop?" Faye nodded, "Damn. Guess you really are roughin' it then, aren't you, Sweetie?" Faye gave him a lopsided smirk, catching a glimpse of the expensive cuff links, manicured nails and trendy hairdo. The man grew serious, touching his lip in an effeminate manner. "I'm sure there's a reason you're here, hmmm?"

Faye turned on the role she had played in the dozen other bars, "I just…" she sighed, "I just wanted to try and run into him again." She depicted a faraway look, a shy smile touching her lips.

The man gently patted her arm, "Find who, honey?"

"I never caught his whole name, just Kevin." She pulled a guilty face, "He just seemed like the kind of cool, together guy that would float around the classier bars." She turned slightly towards the man, keeping her eyes averted. She sighed, "This is the last on my list."

"Was it love at first sight?" Faye repressed her gag reflex, her soured expression passing as hurt and broken. Her head waggled in affirmation. The fellow patted her arm, "Poor thing."

"It was a few days ago at Three-Six." She shook her head, "He gave me his card, but I lost it when I helped a man to his ship. When I returned I couldn't find him."

"I've been there a few times." The man gasped, "I saw you! You were dancing with a tall, skinny guy. Is that who you mean?" Faye shook her head. "Huh. That boy sure seemed interested in you." He shifted, "So what'd your dream boy look like, then?"

"He's… ummm…" Faye rolled her eyes at her list of descriptions. _So cliché. _"…handsome, and powerful. Dark eyes and sandy blonde hair, not super muscular," she flexed, "but from what I could feel when we were together he's definitely not a wuss." Her bar mate nodded, coaxing her to continue. "I felt…" another sour expression hidden by a long sip, "wanted. Desired. Like I was a prize in his collection." She sighed, hoping that would cap off the impression of a love sick idiot.

The man brightened, "Oh! I know about him!" His voice dipped to a hush, "He's a cousin of my friend, Boris."

Faye's eyes widened, "Really? Do you know what clubs he goes to?" She conjured a forced blush, Spike would kill her if he knew what she imagined to produce the faint dusting, "I… I'd really like to see him again." She looked away, twirling a piece of hair. "But I don't want him to think I'm a stalker or somethin'." Her eyes returned to the man, "If I ran into him at a club I could get his number and…" she let it drop, assuming Lihas's friend of a cousin would put the pieces together.

"Sure," he passed her a club flyer, "He **loves** this club." The man winked, "Especially when costumes are involved. Kevie's got a few interesting desires."

Faye took the last swallow of her drink before accepting the paper. "Wow. Thanks!" She paid her bill, "I'll have to get something together," wink, "to really knock his socks off!" He chuckled and waved her out the door. Relieved to be away from an acquaintance of the mad man, Faye ducked back into the general throng of the shopping center on Europa.

Jet docked the Hammerhead. Lopov had whined, cajoled, and pestered him all the way to Ganymede ISSP. The resulting headache made his favorite old haunts too much to stomach and so he had quickly steered back. He strongly considered returning to the Hammerhead and floating in radio silence for a few hours when he found Faye gone, Ed frustrated and pouting, and Spike half dressed snoozing on the couch. "Where's Faye?"

Spike cracked an eye and shrugged. Ed's typing slowed, "Faye-Faye went shopping."

"Why? We just went." Jet's eyes settled on Lihas's file. "Hey, Ed did Faye read this?" Ed nodded. "Shit." Visions of a renegade Faye, hell bent on taking Lihas out danced frightfully through his mind's eye. "Ed can you track her?" Ed's head bobbed again. "Where is she?" Ed turned the screen and pointed to a pink blip, zoomed in, showing the effeminate dot moving around a high end shopping center on Europa. "I'll be damned, she really is shopping."

Spike stretched, "I could've told you that. She stole my money card."

"You're taking it well."

Spike shrugged, "It was a decoy."

"Faye-Faye took the gold one and hidthe green one." Spike slunk deeper into the couch, _Damn. When'd she find my new hiding place? _Ed giggled, "Faye knows all of Spiky-Spike's hidey holes! She found everything when she was hiding the guns."

"Everything?"

"Mmhmmm."

Spike's arm moved to glare at the teen, "Where'd she put it all?"

"Edward does not know. Faye told her to get lost then hid Spike's stuff."

"Shit…"

Jet cut in- it was a pointless conversation anyway, "Let me know when she gets back. We need to plan how to take out Lihas." Not waiting for a response Jet left, hoping some quiet and a few aspirin would help him forget about Lopov and his incessant bitching, _Made Faye's worst kick seem tame._

Faye was enjoying every minute on Europa- that wasn't spent hunting information. The high end shops offering clothing for all tastes, relaxing spas, and boutiques where exactly what she needed. A rainbow of bags full of purchases, samples and swag were clutched in both hands. She scowled, just catching the reflection of the strange man from the bar. _Is he following me?_

She ducked into a variety of stores, only to have him enter a few minutes later or find him loitering nearby when she'd exit. He tipped his head when their eyes met before refocusing on his communicator. Nerves fraying she decided to finish up and bolt. The shadow was a little too tight for comfort.

"You're sure it's her?"

"Yes, Kevie. I'm sure."

"Holy shit. I can't believe she was lookin' for me." Anthony grinned at his longtime accomplice's battered features. The boyfriend had really done a number, _Not that Kevie didn't deserve it._ Kevin was still babbling, "…told you that cowboy had nothin' on me." Anthony rolled his eyes. "She was hot for me from hello." He scowled, "You don't think she's helpin' those bounty hunters do you?"

Anthony grinned, "Can't say. The skinny guy that beat ya up seemed pretty interested in her. Wolf said he even escorted her around campus while she was there." Anthony scowled, _Why isn't she in class right now? _He spaced out, recalling the doting behavior of the younger man and the manners of the elder. _They were a cute pair of boys…_ he glanced at Faye, _Lucky girl. _

"Stop grinnin' fag. I know you're only interested in getting your hands on that old dude."

Anthony frowned, "He was a **very** nice man and all you want to do is show that cowboy he can't out do you." Kevin grinned. "I've got news for you though, I don't think it'd be a good idea to go after them. Just complete the deal and go. She isn't worth it."

"You saw what **they **did to Boris, Tony." Said man bit his lip and nodded. "We need to show them what happens when they mess with us." Another nod. "Did you make the new contacts?"

"Yeah, they'll be there at the club as planned, along with the girl. I'm sure if she's there one or both cowboys will be too." He winked, "I dropped a hint you might be there to the older fellow when we met."

"Ugh. You used my ass kicking to try and hook up? You're sick."

Anthony grinned, "Can't be helped." He grew serious, "I wouldn't put it past those fellows to use her as bait, Cous. I'm not even certain she's all that interested in you."

Kevin's expression hardened, "Good, she'll be that much more fun to break in front of that fucker." Anthony's eyebrow quirked, _Cous is a little too sure of himself._ He snickered when he heard Kevin's love interest scream in her comm. Embarrassed she slunk behind a fern. He scowled, trying to decide if he could get closer without being noticed. She had already seen him. He studied her expressions, smug to anger, mortified to satisfied. A smirk tugged at his lips as he watched the dark haired woman duck into a nearby sex shop and snickered, _So princess isn't as pure as Kevie thought, I knew it._

Faye shuddered, the strange man was still watching her. She jumped when her comm chirped just outside the final shop.

"Yes?"

"Where the hell are you? And why do you sound guilty?" Jet's scowl, more prominent without the facial hair, grew when Faye's pleased voice trickled from the speaker.

She smiled, the embodiment of consumer bliss, "Shopping on Europa. Why?"

Jet's voice was overshadowed by Ed's, "Ed misses Faye-Faye."

"Ed! Get off the comm."

There was a slight rustling, then forced whispers, "Ed doesn't want to." She refocused on Faye her voice gaining strength with proximity, "Will Faye-Faye bring Ed a present?"

"No."

Ed pulled a face. Her displeasure evident in the whine, "Faye-Faye should get Edward a present for being soooooooo gooooooooood." She batted her eyelashes and beamed.

"Ed," Faye sighed, "I'm not in a place that has age appropriate treats." She thought for a moment, "Go get that second bag of candy out of my room and finish looking up the information I asked for about that party."

"Where is it?"

Faye smiled, "Same place as the green card." Immediately Ed disconnected, allowing Jet a little privacy.

He was busy yelling at a scampering Ed, "No! NO! No candy before dinner!" The cranky expression swiveled to comm as he snarled, "Green card? As in Spike's second money card?"

Faye giggled, "You sound like such a mom."

"The least you could do is call me a dad." He grouched. "Faye, you need to return soon. We need to come up with a way to re-apprehend Lihas."

"Oh. So now the bait is allowed to be included?"

Jet had the decency to feign apologetic. "Eh… you weren't supposed to read the entire file."

"Hmmph. Next time you want me to shake my ass for a woman collecting psycho FILL ME **IN!**"

Spike's voice oozed from across the connection, "What's she screaming about. Should be used to playing a piece of meat."

"You lazy son of a bitch! I do a lot around there. What do you do, **sleep**?!" She blushed and ducked behind a potted plant when the other patrons began staring. Spike's chuckles painfully apparent. "Look. I've got one more stop and then I'm heading back."

"Make it quick."

It was obvious throughout the ship Faye had returned. Not only did a sugar-high Ed begin bouncing uncontrollably off furniture, walls and crewmates- candy wrappers dislodging with every hop, she kept singing, "Faye-Faye's home! Faye-Faye's home! Faye-Faye's home!"

Jet swore the air surrounding Spike crackled; he melted into the upholstery his feet propped haphazardly on the arm, a plume of gray smoke signifying he was, in fact, wide awake. "Goody." Another smoky exhale, "How much do you think she lost?"

"She was nowhere near the casinos or tracks."

"There's always somewhere to hemorrhage Woolongs." With the tell-tale hiss of the hangar pressurizing, the happy crinkle of shopping bags soon tinkled down the hall. Spike's eyebrow quirked, "For example…" he tipped his head to the doorway, just as a package laden Faye tripped through. Jet was stunned and slightly concerned, _How'd she pay? _He scowled,

"You have receipts, right?"

Faye scoffed, "No. I thought they should save the paper."

Spike shifted, "At least you'll know what crap she paid for, Jet."

"Shut up, Spike." She grinned, "I'm providing a service," she shook a few bags and cooed, "and these are my payment for a job well done."

"What service is that?" Jet felt ill.

"Security diagnostics." She grinned, "They failed so I removed the surplus." She spun and disappeared out the door to stash her 'purchases'.

Jet watched her leave, "How much do you think she actually bought?"

Spike snorted and sat up, "A third, tops." He snubbed his cigarette, "And it's the cheap shit."

"Ugh." Jet scrubbed at his face, "I don't even want to know about it."

"You asked."

"I know. I know." He glanced at Ed, "Get Faye. We need to go over the plan." Ed sprung up and scampered off.

Faye grinned as she listened to the guys brainstorm. She may have been gone, but had used her newly acquired knowledge of Lihas to dig up some information, some very useful information and a recyclable outfit for the occasion. Lihas was definitely **not** laying low after his escape. A few discrete questions at the bars offering alternative entertainment and she had learned plenty. He had a thing for accessorizing his 'toys' and a rather large tab at the various establishments catering to the 'young, experimental and stupid'. He'd also made a few new contacts, one offering to let him pawn the newest narcotic nicety. They were meeting at The Initiate the end of the week, verified by the creepy shadow.

Jet had been busy digging up his own information. It was a given that Lihas was pissed. His connections all but vanished the second he was incarcerated and he blamed Spike personally. Swearing in every watering hole from Mars to Pluto that he would exact his revenge and collect the pound of flesh he was positive was owed. Now that he was on the lamb, people were begging to have him taken away. Without the neutral Boris to tame his more eccentric proclivities, Lihas was an unpleasant and highly volatile customer. Even Miss Annie had been in contact, since the two floated in corresponding circles, letting the cowboys know Kevin was out and about trying to salvage what they had metaphorically kicked down.

Jet dropped various papers across the table. "There. That's all we could dig up."

Spike absently studied one before tossing it back, "And?"

"That's it." Jet sighed, "Without Boris leaving a trail or business partners to influence, it's a bit tough finding leads."

"So what's the plan?"

Jet squirmed, "Not sure." His eyes followed a neon flyer Faye flipped to the top of the pile. He leaned in for a closer look, "What the hell is this?"

Spike retrieved it, "Faye, we're trying to catch Lihas not get laid."

She snorted, "Lihas will be here." She tapped the page with a well manicured nail.

"How do you know?"

"I did more than shop while on Europa." She flashed a grin, "I gathered some information too. It's amazing what you can learn in the right spots."

"Huh?"

She grew serious, "Lihas found another supplier. He's meeting them at the Initiate's Fantasy Friday."

Jet pulled a face, "What is Fantasy Friday?"

"Just what it sounds like." Spike stretched, "What bad porn fantasy are you going as this time Faye?" His gaze focused on the files Ed had just opened.

"Who says I'm going?"

"You're both going," Jet growled. "And you're goin' as a couple."

Unified, "What?!"

"Jet you have to be kidding, why do I have to go with him?" Spike snorted, he agreed but he wasn't about to whine.

Jet grew serious, "Because if he sees you with Spike he's more apt make a move." He gave Spike a once over, "He hates your guts," switching to Faye, "and feels you owe him for the wasted drink." Jet folded his arms, "I'd put money down that he thinks you're hot for him and this little research of yours will have sparked his interest." He grinned, "He'll make mistakes if he's jealous. Which he will be if you prove him wrong by acting like Spike's girl." Faye's lip curled as she settled into the couch. There was no point arguing, Jet had already made an executive decision- he was right anyway and she'd already given that impression. She groaned earning a disgruntled glare from the ex-cop.

Spike recovered the advert, "I'm not dressing up."

"What afraid to wear something other than a tacky suit? You were fine in those jeans and T-shirt."

"This from the woman who's favorite outfit," he grinned, "until recently, looked like fetish wear."

"You seemed to like it."

Spike's grin turned impish, "No, it wasn't nearly absorbent enough." He wobbled his head in mock despair, "worst bunch of rags ever." Faye glared, attempting to come up with a decent retort, "Oh. Faye. I want **my** money card back too." She flicked it at him, frowning when he caught it. She had aimed for his forehead. "Is there anything left on it?"

She gave a toothy grin, "Nope."

"Good thing I have this one then," he flashed hers before tucking both away in his wallet.

"Hey!"

"Was yours until you took mine." His brows crinkled, "Where's my other card?"

Faye grinned, "We'll just call it a trade. You're keeping mine and I'll hold onto yours."

Spike frowned, "This is zeroed out isn't it?"

"No." She blinked innocently, "There's at least five Woolongs on it."

"Five?!" Spike flipped the card, "The one you took had…"

Faye preened, "That's why we're trading."

Jet losing patience growled, "Knock it off." Faye began to protest, "NOW!" He studied the two, before focusing on Ed, "Find images of this thing. I want to know what we need to blend in." He sighed, "I'm sure you've got an idea of what we're getting into Faye, but Spike and I are heading in blind."

Faye rolled her eyes.

Ed squealed, "Edward already has! Faye-Faye asked for help." She giggled and began ticking off on her fingers, "To hide you will need: bunny ears, cat tails, feather dusters, handcuffs, tight dresses…" Faye listened shocked, _Perhaps I shouldn't have had her look stuff up._ Spike grinned, _I knew it! _Jet frowned, _Ergh! Now I'll have to play porn czar too!_ Ed was still going, "…nurse clothes, lacy things…"

"Ed." She paused, having moved to her toes, "Stop. We get it. Find the pictures from last year- look for forum comments on popular costumes too." Ed turned the screen, showing the club information and images from the last few years.

Faye jumped, "Stop!" She studied an image, "Yes! I remembered right." Everyone froze, Faye dropped directly in front of the screen and pointed to a person in the background.

Spike nudged her with his toe, "Move it Faye."

"Wait!" Her finger touched a familiar face, "I've met this guy."

Jet glanced at it, "Yeah, that's the fella that was in all your classes when you were at M Tech."

She frowned, not remembering. Spike snorted, "Same guy that was hittin' on you at the coffee shop too."

She shook her head, her focus on the man beside Wolfe, "No. He's the guy that told me Kevin would be at this party."

Jet and Spike swapped nervous glances. Jet cleared his throat, "You met him?"

Faye nodded frowning, "I think he was following me around the shops."

Another exchange of displeased glances. "What'd you tell him?"

"That I met Kevin and lost his number, thought he was good looking, blah, blah."

"And?"

Faye sighed, "That's how I got this info. He… uh… thinks I'm interested in Kevin. This guy," she tapped the image, Jet realizing she was stabbing at the third partner, "says Kevin'll be there." She glanced at Jet, "Didn't that singer invite you to this too?" Jet nodded. "They all know each other, maybe they're connected."

"Hmm…" He shot a gaze between the two, "Even more reason for you guys to go as a pair." They prepared to protest, "Look, it'll just piss Lihas off more if he thinks you willingly drug him along to make your bounty hunter boyfriend happy." She blinked, Spike shifted uncomfortably at the use of a title. Jet pressed on, "I'm going solo. Ed will stay here and keep track of Lihas. You two will draw him out."

Spike shrugged, "Still not dressin' up."

"Chicken?" Faye leaned forward, eyes wide.

He snorted, "Don't need to." He grinned, "I'm the embodiment of **many** women's fantasies."

"Pff. We're talking about fantasies, Lunkhead, not nightmares."

"Knock it off." _Why? Why is it whenever I try to get some work done I have to deal with… with… __**this**__! _"We will **all** dress up." He rubbed his forehead, "Hell, if it'll make everyone be quiet even Ed and Ein can dress up!" Ed squealed and began happily babbling about cat ears and Faye's clothes, her arms wiggling as her toes scanned the old images from the club.

"Ed found more pictures!" She clicked a button and three adults rolled their eyes. "Ed **really** likes this one!" She giggled again when a man sized Venusians doorstop rat, accented with pink bow, popped on the view screen.

"I am **not** dressing up as a furry." Faye's arms locked below her chest.

"You'll need to see a good waxer to avoid it, Faye."

"Shut up."

"Then what will Faye-Faye wear?"

Faye flipped through the images.

"Stop." Jet pointed to a man dressed in a suit. "I'll go as an old Earth gangster." He grinned, "I won't even need to buy a costume and we can hide stuff in the accompanying instrument case. He leveled a mocking grin at Faye and Spike, "You two can dress up together."

"You just want an excuse to wear a hat." Spike was ignored. Ed immediately began pulling up images of couples from the previous years. Whatever the fantasy, there was a representation.

Spike signaled Ed to stop, "There you go Faye. You can go as Jet's maul."

Jet scowled, "I **will not** be the one seen with Faye." Faye frowned, _What's wrong with being with me?! _"I already said it needs to be you. You're the one Lihas thinks took advantage of the drug he slipped her. **YOU'RE** the one who beat the shit out of him. You're the one he's gunnin' for and if he sees you at his club, with the," he gave Faye a glance, "toy that got away…"

"He'll come to us." Jet nodded. Faye huffed, before resuming her perusal. Fantasy wear was not her thing and she'd already gotten what she figured would work, she just had to make the boys think she'd just come up with the concept. She paused on an image and grinned. "There we go!" Both men turned to see what she was referring to. Jet nodded, Spike squirmed, Faye beamed, "It's perfect!"

"Great." Jet glanced at Spike, "It shouldn't be that hard to pull off." Spike realizing he'd frozen, again, regained his composure by withdrawing a cigarette. Faye pleased she didn't have to go shopping disappeared to unpack her newest collection. Jet studied Spike, "What the hell got into you?" Spike was deaf to the question and slumped lower in the couch. Jet flicked the images back to the one Faye selected and studied it. There was nothing remarkable about the couple. Actually, they were rather ugly. The man's suit was ill fitting and stained; the woman's clothing was busting at the seams, her hair stacked in a teased rat's nest. Jet shook his head, confused, "Do you know these two?" Spike continued ignoring him. Jet shrugged, "It's an easy enough costume and it allows you to wear what you always do." Spike's eyes swiveled towards him before sinking closed. Deciding he would learn what was wrong soon enough, Jet left to care for his precious plants before checking equipment.


	23. Chapter 23

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

A little redecorating.

Chapter 23: Photograph (The Hanslick Rebellion)

Spike twitched at the girly giggling drifting in from the hall. He scowled when he heard Faye, "Go on. I'll bring the delivery in."

"But he's sleeping."

"He's been sleeping all day. Now go."

"Spike person!" Ed chirped the moment she entered the doorway. He prepared when he heard flapping, bare feet. "SPIKE-PERRRRSON!" Ed squealed.

He grunted.

Her head tipped to the side and she frowned, "Was Spike-person sleeping?"

"Yeah, Ed. I was."

"Oopsies." She grinned, "You have a present! It's special. You have to sign for it. Come on. COME ON!" She grabbed his arm and tugged him to the hangar. Oblivious the pained expression, "Here. In here!" She dropped his limb and sighed, "Papa Jet said Edward was not allowed to stay. It's grown-up stuff." She grinned at the scantily clad delivery man, "Bye cute leather man!" With Spike delivered and a wave, she scurried off.

Spike glared at the delivery boy in teeny, tiny leather shorts. He resisted the urge to step back when the man smiled sweetly and swayed over. The delivery man shifted, "Uh…" he glanced towards Faye's hiding spot, "I usually bring boxes to… uh… girls." Faye stepped from the shadows, camera at the ready. She waited, smiling politely. With a sigh, the courier plastered a welcoming grin, "This is for you, from Faye." He leaned over the box, now in Spike's hands and kissed the wary cowboy on the lips. The camera clicked, Jet dropped tools, the box dropped and the delivery boy scurried away.

Faye winked at Spike before she passed off a green money card. "Thanks," she cooed, "He's been a little under the weather lately, I hope this compensates for **your** discomfort." The kid nodded, with a genuine smile and accepted the tip. Faye ushered him to the door, spun on her heals and disappeared, giggling.

Jet glared at the box then Spike. His gaze flickered to the vibrating Ed near the hatch. "Open that where Ed won't see." Spike scowled. Jet grinned, "Be rude not to, Faye went to all the trouble." He resumed his tinkering, "Can't wait to see the pictures."

Spike scooped the box up and left. He stepped around Ed and made his way to his room. He glanced in Faye's room. She was sitting on her bed cackling over the photos. Deciding she wasn't worth the energy at the moment he grumped to the safety of his space. With a scowl he sat studying the box. He'd shaken it- no results. Listened to the side- no ticking. Dropped it- nothing shattered. He even kicked it a few times, out of principle. Assuming it was safe he slit the tape with his pocket knife. Packing peanuts flooded into the room, a pink envelope lying innocently on the top. Opening the card he found a hastily scribbled note:

Spike,

Just thought you could use a little 'pick-me-up'.

-Faye

"Faye!" More door banging. "FAYE!" _What's he doing kicking the door?!_ "FAYE!!"

Jet glanced into the hallway, "What the hell?! After the second knock I'd think you'd realize she isn't in."

Spike glanced at him before returning his displeased glare to the closed door. Just noticing the pictures of him being kissed taped all over the frame. He ripped one off, "Where is she?"

"How the hell should I know?" Jet crossed his arms. "I'm **not** her keeper."

"Could've fooled me." Still clutching the offensive box he spun in search of Ed.

"Ed…" she remained immobile. "Ed!" He tapped her with his foot, she twitched. "ED!"

Groggy, gold eyes blinked at him. She yawned, "Yessssss?"

"Where's Faye?"

"Edward does not know. Ed went to sleep after helping Faye redecorate the rooms. Isn't Faye-Faye sleeping?"

"No. Come on Ed, you **always** know where Faye's hiding." She yawned again and shrugged, spooning back around the corgi.

Jet materialized behind him, "She's on the observation deck reading." Not waiting for more, Spike stepped around the grinning man and headed for a confrontation over the proper way to spend **his** money. In other words: leave it **ALONE**.

Marching into the space he noted she was curled on a ledge, half asleep. Grinning he shouted, "FAYE! Get up!"

Startled she fell off the precarious perch. A pained yelp filled the space as Faye rolled from the damaged hand. Untangling from the spare blanket she glared at the intruder, hair mussed, eyes still glossy. "_Yawn_. What?!"

Spike upended a cardboard box and pointed, "What is this?"

She glanced at the disturbingly bizarre packages, "A joke?" Spike's eyes narrowed. "What?" She riffled through the peanuts and pulled out an order slip, "Just take them back with this and they'll refund you."

"You used **my** money card?"

"Pff. You think I'd spend **my** money on crap like this?!" Spike remained silent. Faye's jaw dropped, "Holy cow! You do! You think I'd spend good, hard earned money on…" she grabbed a random package, "a blow up pig?!" She glanced at the package and giggled, "He oinks when you inflate him," she read the heading, "or is it she?" She grabbed a few more toys laughing hysterically, "Did you see this one?!"

Spike suppressed a grin, "No."

She found another package, ripping it open, "Here, it's candy!" She popped a penis gummy in her mouth. "It's cherry!"

"Not funny."

"Bullshit. It's freakin' hysterical." She licked another candy, rose and stuck it to his face. Giggling, "I'm glad I didn't pay attention to what I bought!!" She smiled and yawned, "Did you see the new decorations Ed and I put up?"

Spike scowled, he'd only seen her door, but now that he thought about it… "Spike!" Jet's voice boomed from somewhere outside, "Come get your sorry ass kiss off my walls." The sound of papers being ripped drifted into the space, "I'm sure you're proud of yourself, but not all of us are into boy on boy action." More ripping.

Faye rose and made a rather hasty retreat, "Have fun!"

Spike collected his box and its contents, threw it in Faye's room and began hunting for the hundreds of pictures Faye and Ed had plastered throughout the ship. He groaned; the girls had been busy.

Faye had just scurried past, so he waited for Spike to follow. Jet couldn't contain the smirk when Spike stormed by- he knew the cowboy had unfinished business and had every intention of seeing its completion, hence the speed he was ripping papers off the wall. He glanced at Ed who was sprawled across the floor. Jet studied her twitching, she wasn't asleep, the tell-tale smirk and snickers giving her away. They both stilled when a door opened and Faye yelped. Jet glanced at the teen, "How many images did you make, Ed?"

Gold eyes swiveled his direction, "Ummm…" she sat up and punched a few keys on her laptop, "4 of Spike with his box. 143 of the kiss," Ed grinned, "and 1337 of this!" She spun the screen, showing Spike slumped over and snuggled with Faye on the couch."

Jet scowled, "When'd you take this?"

"When Ed put a blanket on them," she shrugged, "Faye and Spike didn't know Ed took this." She grinned, "Faye-Faye said to print a lot of pictures. She didn't say what Ed should print up." She grabbed the one of the two together, "Edward likes this one."

"Huh? Why?"

"Spike-person looks happy." She yawned and mimicked the current wall paper remover's method of avoiding conversation. Jet grinned, settled on the couch and lit a smoke.

An hour later the sound of shuffling and the rustle of papers drifted in from the hallway. Jet raised an eyebrow at the body in the doorway. "You get them all, Spike?"

"How many of these did she make?"  
Ed mumbled, "1484 pictures total."

Spike scowled and dropped his armful, "I'm not counting."

Ed twitched and peeked at the pile, "That is not all of them. Spike missed those in the hangar, fridge and bathroom."

"I checked the bathroom!"

"No. Ed was just there, you missed two." She held up her fingers in a perfect 'V'.

Spike scowled and drifted off to find the last several hundred missing images.

Jet chuckled, "How do you know he missed some?"

"Ed stuck a kissy picture under the toilet seat lid and one behind the mirror." She peeked at the pile, "Lunkhead Spike doesn't have all the kissy pictures and only two of the box ones. Faye-Faye put them all over the…"

"**ED! FAYE!! **What the **hell** did you do to my ship?!?"

Ed snickered, "Faye-Faye is still a bit angry about being tied down."

Jet snorted, "Don't blame her." He rose to see what the problem was, just catching Faye's door locking as he passed he paused at the door, "I'll let Ed know you'll be sneaking out after Spike leaves the hangar."

Faye chuckled, her voice muffled, "Ed already knows."

Jet entered the hangar and froze. Staring in shock, _Well, this whole charade began immaturely, I guess Faye decided to end it that way too._ Spike materialized from the opposite side of Faye's ship, dropping the RedTail's fuel relay on the floor. Jet glared at him when he heard a loud crack. Glancing at the shattered part Spike grinned, "Gonna be hard for her to run away without that."

Jet scowled, "Shit Spike. That's crossin' the line!" Spike's shoulder bounced, already clearing away the massive flyers. Lipstick, paint, what looked like shaving cream and wet toilet paper sticking to his person. Jet watched the activity, chuckling at the slight twitch every time Spike found another of Faye's hastily scribbled notes. He stilled when Jet stepped down the stairs, "Who printed up the pictures?"

Jet scowled, "Ed. Why?"

Spike just grinned and glanced at the beaming teen, "Funny kid."

"Edward thought so," she locked her hands behind her head, "Ed knew Spike was counting!" And scurried off to tell Faye how he was fairing.

"Game over, Spike. She won." Jet grinned, "I'll have Faye come help you." Spike shrugged and grimaced. Jet chuckled, "She left some interesting messages." Spike's gaze flickered his way then back to his project. "She probably knows how to get that crap off in no time, Spike." The cowboy jerked another offensive mass of paper off the wing obviously ignoring Jet's suggestion. He persisted, "Find me when you're done, we need to go over tomorrow's plan." Spike's head bounced. With a sigh, Jet turned and disappeared. He thumped on Faye's door, "Faye!" Waited, hearing rustling, "Faye, open up."

The door cracked, "What?"

"You need to go help Spike."

She scowled, "Why?"

"You helped make the mess, help clean it up." She frowned and slunk from the room. Ed appeared in the doorway,

"Ed helped Faye-Faye plan her costume." She jiggled from foot to foot. "Ed thinks she knows why Spike got nervous about Faye's choice."

"Really?"

"Yup."

Faye appeared in the hangar hatch. She scowled at Spike's labored attempts to clean off the Swordfish. She sighed and eased closer, grabbing the hose. "Move Lunkhead." He glanced at her and continued yanking stuff off the craft. "Spike. Move or I'll do this with you in the way." She turned the water on, letting it splash around her feet. With a dismissive shrug he continued, just catching her snort, "Warned you." She purposely hit him first before moving to the body of the ship.

"What was that for?" The sopping cigarette falling to the floor with a soft splat.

She grinned and sang, "Just helping."

"Pff… about as much help as tits on a boar." He stepped back, letting her hose the largest amounts of paper onto the floor. "How's this supposed to get this crap off?"

Satisfied smirk, "I wash my make-up off, don't I? And TP on the ship is cheap and bio degradable. It breaks apart in enough liquid." She shot a large clump with a jet of water, her eyebrow raising as it slowly disintegrated. "See? Now grab that bucket and the brush," she flapped her hand towards the cleaning tools by the faucet. Doing as asked, he collected the supplies and made his way towards the lipstick smeared ship. She smiled, "Consider this my good deed for the week." He scowled dropping the brush into the bucket. She slipped away with a sing song, "Have fun!" before he could retaliate. Spike watched her retreat, _I really hate that expression._

Hiding from Spike, Faye begun sorting through the various gifts she'd bought, loving every minute. She was currently cackling over one of the farm yard creatures. Finished, Spike sloshed his way towards his room pausing at her doorway. He wasn't amused, but Faye seemed to be enjoying herself enough for everyone. He shook his head when she began blowing up the last of the various farm animals. She froze and spun at the masculine chuckle and 'Eeped'- Jet would have kittens over the mess of vibrators, dildos, misshapen farm blow-up dolls, and bizarre favors. She scurried towards the hatch and froze. Trying to decide whether to drag a dripping Spike in or push him out. Previous experience told her he'd expect her to push so she tugged roughly on his arm and clicked the door closed. Spike scowled, "What the hell?!"

She shrugged, "You seemed interested in what I was doing and I can't have Ed seeing this crap."

Sensing something afoot, Spike eased towards the exit with a smirk, "You're not scared of Jet are you?"

Faye snorted, "Not really. I'm afraid of having to exlain to Ed what," she scurried to an item on the floor flapped a box of flavored condoms at Spike, "these are?!"

Spike grinned, "Not my worry. She usually asks you those kinds of questions doesn't she?"

Faye smiled sweetly, "No, I usually play interference and stop her from asking you." She tossed the box at his chest, "For some reason she thinks you know more about this stuff."

Spike grinned, "Smart kid."

"Fine. Next time she wants to know about something she sees diving I'll send her your way. Hmm…" she bounced a vibrator off her chin, "Last time she wanted to know what an Alaskan Firedragon was."

She grinned at the slight paling of Spike's cheeks. "What'd you tell her?"

She dug out more obscene candy and popped one in her mouth, "I told her it's exactly what it sounds like. A fire breathing dragon from Alaska." Faye scowled, "She didn't know what Alaska was though."

"Huh?"

She shrugged, "What? You expect me to tell her the truth?" She grinned, "Next time I'll send her your way. It's a promise." She began collecting his present and chuckled, "You know while you were recuperating she found an old stash of your rubbers hidden in the bathroom. Jet had a shit hemorrhage over the various condom animals all around the ship. He almost woke you up to explain why her balloons tasted funny." Spike pulled a face. She snickered, "That was my good deed for the year! I told her they were special and used to collect specimens, not make shapes. That's why they were wrapped differently." All secure she opened the door, "You're dripping." With a soft push she removed his presence and secured the latch. With a scowl Spike hefted the toys and headed towards his room to deposit them under his bed, collect clothes and shower.


	24. Chapter 24

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Some dancing, drinking, and foreplay.

Chapter 24: Sharp Dressed Man (ZZ Top)

Friday came sooner than Spike wanted. Jet had stolen his suit in order to make sure it was well pressed, starched and clean. Faye had holed up in her room, Ed the only one allowed in or out. With no one to pester and nothing to do but wait, he settled on the couch. Only to be awakened by Faye who gave him a rough tug to his leg hair. "Get up Lunkhead." He snorted and pretended to fall back asleep. She twisted more leg hair and yanked. Frustrated, Spike caught her hand on the third attempt. Faye yelped the moment his fingers wrapped around her hand, roughly jerking the offended appendage away. _She acts like I burned her._

"Spike. Get up!" Jet pulled a face, "Go shave. You need to look like an up and coming businessman. Not a bum." He glanced at Faye as she attempted to ease past, still cradling her hand. "Faye wrap those fingers back up. The busted up one's just goin' to cause more grief unstabilized." Jet scowled, "Shit! It's swelling again. Go wrap it now!" Realization dawning, Spike stood, his clothing crumpled in his arms. "Spike! It took me all day to get that damn suit ironed." He tossed another piece of cloth, "Wear this shirt, it isn't thread bare or stained." Spike proffered half a wave and disappeared to dress.

He crashed into a bathrobe clad Faye, trying to splint her fingers. She glared at him, her teeth holding the tape while her free hand kept the splint in place. With a sigh, Spike dropped his fresh laundry and snagged the bindings. Faye shied away, "I got it."

"I'm sure you do, but I need in here within the next hour." Faye stiffened when he gently took her hand and wrapped her index and middle fingers together. "This is goin' to screw up your ability to shoot."

"I'm ambidextrous." She shrugged. Spike let it go, he'd have all night to piss her off. With her fingers immobilized he turned to start the shower. He started tugging off his boxers and paused, "You planning to watch?" She snorted and made a hasty retreat. Grinning, Spike eased under the warm water. _This should be an interesting catch._

"I said we'd leave an hour ago. An hour! Where the hell is she?" Jet had lost patience. He'd checked and rechecked the communication devices, made certain Ed could only access 'public' areas of the club: the dance floor and bar (which he considered bad enough for an impressionable kid), banged on Faye's door half a dozen times and made sure both the Hammerhead and Swordfish were filled and ready to go.

"Bad man just arrived." Ed sang from her perch. Spike and Jet watched as she preened, pleased with her feather boa, cat ears and whiskers.

"Ed. Stop rubbing your face, you're goin' to leave smudges all over the ship!" Jet simmered as Ed streaked an eyeliner whisker across her cheek. "That's it!" He stood grinding his cigarette in the ash tray. "Follow me when she's ready. I'm going to go keep an eye on our meal ticket." With a huff Jet stomped out towards his ship. Spike lowered himself behind Ed and watched the bizarre spectacle. The men and women were in any and all costumes imaginable. One man with a smock, black beret, paintbrush and palate was accompanied by a woman in body paint; a burly man dressed as a football player ground against an overweight cheerleader; a turtle and a rabbit were making out in the distance; and a leather clad demon drug several chained men behind her, while another playfully poked and prodded them with a red pitchfork. Several, without costumes, watched the various disguises. Spike frowned, _What the hell am I getting into?_

"Wow." Ed gasped, "Faye-Faye looks better than **any **of the pictures Edward found." Faye grinned, before leveling a gaze at Spike.

He suppressed the urge to ogle, "Let's jam." He tossed her a pair of earrings and a necklace various surveillance gear included in the pieces. She wobbled on her heels, concentration used to put on the accessories. Spike, taking advantage of her inattention, carefully examined the perfectly straight seam of her hose running up the back of her legs and disappearing beneath the short business skirt. She left the room. A moment later he heard, "Testing? Hey Spike, can you hear me?" He gave an affirmative from the pen tucked in his jacket pocket and met her in the hangar. He found she was already settled in the RedTail. "Faye." She glanced at him, attempting to initiate the launch sequence, "FAYE! It isn't going to start. I disabled it."

"What?! Why?"

Spike shrugged, "To keep you from running away." Faye frowned before uncoiling herself from inside the ship and slipping out.

"Why hasn't Jet fixed it?"

"Because I broke it," Spike grinned. "And, no, I won't fix yours now so you can fly alone. We don't have time." Faye sulked her way to the Swordfish and waited, heel clad foot tapping impatiently.

"This is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit." She whined petulantly. "I don't understand why I can't fly myself anywhere. **You** got in trouble last time too!" Her toe tapping increased with her agitation. Spike ignored it and clambered into the cockpit. "You goin' to stand there all night?" She pulled a face before trying to scramble into the ship without embarrassing herself. Spike grinned, unable to miss the chance at the ancient barb, "Nice panties Faye. Never took you for the lacy type." She colored and turned her legs away, offering a perfect glimpse of her backside as she eased her way between his thighs. He congratulated himself on a good guess and enjoyed the scenery while pulling on the fingerless gloves. Once she was settled, her feet tucked beneath, Spike leaned over and began the launch sequence. He took a generous glance while pretending to study a gage. Pleased he hit the throttle and pointed the racer towards Calypso and its universally renowned club.

Jet was furious and moodily finished his third drink. Ed's voice crackled through his comm, "Papa Jet. Faye-Faye and Spike-person are on their way."

"Took 'em long 'nough." Jet glared at a buxom brunette, dressed as a showgirl. She batted her lashes, blew him a friendly kiss and swayed away. "How soon 'till they get here?"

Spike's voice broke in, "Five minutes give or take."

Jet pretended to take a sip, "Heard that line before."

"Just landing."

"Bad man is buying drinkies," Ed chirped. Jet glanced towards the brightly lit bar. Lihas, dressed as a surgeon, had two leggy women on either arm. Both looked rather inebriated and neither had a drink. Jet mumbled into his tie-tack, "Think he's already started collecting. Looks like he drugged a pair of kids." Lihas was busy talking to a taller man, playing cop. Jet studied the two, they appeared to be arguing over something. "Ed you see the tall man with Lihas?" She hummed in response, "See if it's the same guy from the breakout." Suddenly they dismissed their escorts, pawning them off on nearby customers. The cop disappeared down a hallway, while Kevin's attention locked on something across the dance floor. Jet attempted to follow his gaze, but only saw an eyeful of ass, sitting in the corner had not been the wisest choice. "Ed what's Lihas looking at?"

"Probably Faye," came Spike's assured reply.

"Oh. So you've arrived then?" He noted Spike's chuckle and tried to locate his partners. "Ed. Where are they from me?"

"Faye-Faye is dancing and Spike-person is walking to the drink stand. Three and ten!" Jet grunted and made his way to an empty pair of stools. Spike slid next to him, his attention locked on someone in the middle of the dance floor. Jet followed his gaze and was shocked to find Faye fending off advances. He noted immediately that the extra time had been well spent. Not one detail had been left out. Thin framed eyeglasses were perched on her nose, two pens held her hair back in a loose bun; her blouse was unbuttoned allowing just the top of her lacy bra and a generous amount of cleavage to show; the skirt she selected would have been classy had it not been short with the generous slit up the thigh; accompanied with the silk nylons and stilettos she was the embodiment of several men's fantasies. "She a secretary, librarian or teacher?"

Spike shrugged, "Take your pick."

Ed cracked over the comm, "Faye-Faye is a secretary, she said it would work with Spike-person's ugly, ass suit."

"Edward, language."

"Huh." Spike rammed his hands into his pockets, "So she's playing the role of **my** secretary." His shoulders bounced, "That works."

"Edward found the guy!"

Jet glanced up and snickered when Faye swiveled from a groping hand, "You should go save her, Spike-o."

Spike shrugged and took a sip of his beer. "Nah. We thought we'd let Lihas get close then I'll swoop in before he can reach her."

"Reel him in then chase him back, huh?" Jet scoffed, "Sounds like you're fishin'." Spike's head bobbed, eyes still focused on the dance floor. Jet's brows furrowed as he continued to study his partner. _He's acting like he did on Phobos. _Spike's jaw clenched when an overly zealous mailman tried to wrap around Faye. She eased away, absently straightening the pinstriped skirt. Another man attempted to peer down the white blouse. She spun, giving him a nice view of the pens in her hair.

Head swiveling to the left, Spike stood and began making his way through the throng. Jet heard him mumble over the comm, "Pay for my drink," he sighed, "Can't take her anywhere nice."

Jet grinned, "Have to go discourage gropers?" He took the grunt as a yes and shook his head, accepting his own beer and enjoying the show. The music slowed as Spike slid behind Faye and comfortably wrapped an arm around her. The men in her vicinity evaporated, condensing on easier prey. Lihas glared from the periphery, furious that the cowboy was in the way, again. He turned to someone in shadow, "I thought you said she was after me."

The shadow shrugged, "I also warned you that you could be jumping to conclusions." Chuckle, "The cowboy won't give up." The voice clucked, "Guess she's not interested in your charm, Cous. I thought she was just doing him a favor." Lihas growled. The voice tittered, "You didn't really try to seduce her, did you?" He pressed, "Felt her up and made her feel like a piece of meat." Snicker, "That guy showed you some manners and all you did was talk nasty about her." A girly sigh, "What girl wouldn't fall for that?" Lihas flipped his associate a farewell bird and slunk closer to the pair.

Spike gently turned Faye about and rested his hands on her hips. He eased closer, "Your admirer's back," he whispered in her ear. Faye shrugged and allowed Spike to lead.

Jet broke through Spike's thoughts, "Lihas is watching. Give him a show." Faye's brow furrowed. She suppressed a squeal of shock when Spike pulled her tight and tilted his head towards her ear. He scanned the room, noting Jet across the way, catty corner a fuming Lihas. As if it were a common activity he slid his hands off Faye's hips and gripped her backside. She glared at him momentarily before he bobbed his head and turned so she could catch sight of their audience. Understanding, she played along. Pressing firmly against him she ran her fingers across his chest, over his shoulders and into his hair, pulling him towards her. He resisted and amicably smirked, "You're not getting another chance to bite me. Once is enough." Faye pulled a face and tipping closer let her lips just brush his. She allowed her hands to trail back to his shoulders as she pulled back slightly.

Not to be out maneuvered, he tipped his head towards her ear. Faye stiffened as his hand slid up to her hair, snagging the pens in the process. In one smooth sweep he slipped the utensils in his breast pocket, before cupping Faye's cheek, pulling her face forward. He smirked when her eyes fluttered closed and chuckled when he felt her body sway with his pull, face tilting. "I told you, you only get **one** free shot and I've been generous." He caught her glasses, stuffing them with the pens. Faye pulled a face, immediately regaining her composure. He ran a hand through her hair, leaving it tossed and mussed. She sucked her lip. Spike's grin disappeared when he noted Lihas still too close. _Why hasn't he backed off?!_ Deciding to press further, he spun Faye back around, arm possessively draped across her stomach, his hand just cupping a breast as he pulled her tight against him. His mouth near her ear, to anyone watching they appeared oblivious. Faye shivered when she heard him chuckle, "This'll be fun. I still owe you for my presents."

"Uhh…" she pinked when his fingers brushed softly against the exposed skin on her chest.

Jet choked on his drink when he caught sight of the pair. Faye looked stunned, though hid it by chewing her bottom lip. To anyone watching it looked like a lust induced reaction. Jet chuckled, _She's_ p_robably picturing poor Spike dead._ Twirling Faye about face, Spike shot her a victorious glare, _Point me. _Faye's eyes narrowed as she hastily decreased the distance, stomping his foot 'accidently'. Hands slipping under his jacket, she smiled seductively as she savagely pinched the small of his back. To add to the show she ran her leg up his providing Lihas and Jet a wonderful view of the top of her stockings and the attached thigh. Spike's eyes narrowed at the challenge and ran his hand up her proffered leg, toying with the top of her hose before slipping underneath the hem. He let his hand slip to her backside and grinned, _They are lace_. She blushed and tried to lower her leg, only to have Spike hold tight. Triumphant he slowly drew his fingers out and down to her knee. Faye bit her lip, nerves and shock warring for dominance. He reveled in her shaken gasp when his hand returned to grope her posterior. His grin grew when he decided she was not as experienced as she let on. He relaxed over Lihas's retreating form. _Another point, me. _Faye's eyes narrowed slightly as she studied the thinly veiled expressions flitting across his face.

Jet had to admit the show his two partners had preformed was interesting. Ed had popped in asking if Spike would kiss Faye a number of times. They had also caught the attentions of not only Lihas but most the observing patrons. Catching snippets of their comments, "Wow. You don't see stuff like that usually people just fuck on the floor." Another, "Talk about foreplay!" Jet had to repress a smirk- the 'steamy couple' actually refused to be more than verbal sparring partners. He caught sight of Spike's grin. Epiphany dawning, he suppressed a groan, _He's enjoying this! _A snort slipped free, _Freakin' masochist._

"So she's who Kevie's been screaming about, hmmm?" Came the familiar masculine voice from Jet's right.

Jet turned noting the silver hair had been swapped for sunshine gold, "Hello Miss Gamma." Jet nodded. "That's the girl, Faye."

Annie giggled, "She's cute. You're friend sure doesn't act like she means nothing." Jet quirked a brow. Annie's masculine, girlish titter continued, "He's just short of growling at any male within a foot."

Jet nodded. Watching Spike continue to hold on to Faye, even after Lihas's retreat- his posture screaming: MINE! Jet grinned, "He'll call your guess bullshit."

She pursed her precisely lacquered lips, "He can call it whatever he wants, doesn't hide the facts." Her eyes narrowed, "I bet he's got a thing for…" she eyeballed Faye's costume critically, "is she a secretary or a librarian?"

"Eh… she's **his** secretary."

She scowled and grumbled, "I thought she was coming alone."

Jet glanced at her, "What?"

Annie giggled, "Points to your girl. I know several men who'd love a receptionist like her." Jet snorted. Her lips thinned, "Huh. Did your boy do some office work? 'Cause I bet he's got a thing for secretaries," she winked, "or at least he does now."

Jet snorted, "Doesn't think anyone can see it."

"Pff…" She reached over and caressed Jet's chin, "I like the clean shaven look. It suits you." Jet smiled politely, uncertain whether to be flattered or depressed.

Spike left Faye, returning to the bar for another drink. He bobbed his head in greeting. Annie cooed, "Was that the girl?" He shrugged noncommittally. Annie's grin expanded, "Whose secretary did you have the hots for when you were a kid?"

He grinned around a sip of his drink, "Don't know what you're talking about."

Annie's eyes narrowed, "Hot secretary at the school you went to? Or did she work for a boss of yours?" Spike tensed, Annie gloated, "Bingo!"

Jet swiveled to face the uncommunicative man, "So it was some boyhood crush on a cute little secretary, huh?" He began chuckling. "What did you do? Purposely get in trouble to see her?"

Spike pulled a face, "She worked in Mao's office when I started." Jet grinned and Spike gulped his drink, signaling for a second.

Annie scanned the floor, "Where'd she go, lover boy?"

Jet's brows furrowed, he hunkered away from the other two, "Huh?"

Ed crackled through the comms, "Papa- Jet. Spike-person. Ed can't … F…F…. Mr. Bad man j…st …ft his dark c…ner… waiting…no cameras."

"What was that Ed?" Spike mumbled.

"You say something?" Annie's eyebrow rose as she watched both men tinker with their ears. Spike shook his head, signaling Annie another drink before scanning the crowd. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Miss Annie." Spike's eyes kept roaming, "Just wanted to live a boyhood fantasy and she was game." Jet was studying the inside of his hat, he grunted.

"Cute excuse. Sure doesn't seem like nothin'," she pouted.

Spike's eyes narrowed, "Jet, Lihas is on the move." His head bobbed towards a hallway on the other side of the dance floor. Jet followed the line of sight, "Oh shit!" He tipped his head to Annie before following. Annie remained rooted, catching Kevin's eye before he disappeared down the hallway, a college kid in tow.

"Ed. ED!" Static replied. "Ed contact my hand held. Keep an eye on Faye's tag."

The comm in his pocket chirped, "Edward saw Faye-Faye go outside the cameras."

"Spike!" Spike paused, eyes not leaving the top of Lihas's head. "I'm running around…"

Faye popped out a door behind Spike. Jet's brows furrowed. "What the hell?"

"Cripes!" She staggered back, hand on her heart. "Can't a girl use the restroom without a baby-sitter? I told Ed," Faye glanced around Jet, "Where's Spike?" Jet's eyes drifted to just over her shoulder, before turning and heading back to the bar. Faye startled when a hand wrapped around the uninjured one and tugged her backwards, a body rapidly pressing her into the wall. Spike leaned forward, "Lihas is at the end of the hall finishing a deal." Her eyes pivoted to the silhouettes away from her. They swiveled back to lock with dissimilar russets, "Play along." She gulped, shocked at his proximity and nodded. Spike's eyes returned to studying Lihas's movements; his free hand's thumb, idly rubbing her palm. He bent closer, noses touching, focus intense and unwavering. Faye's eyes never left his cheek. She was frozen, waiting for him to do whatever he had planned. She squirmed when he suddenly grinned at the shadows near the exit. "Faye, remember to play along." Head bob, "No going ape shit, got it?" Head bob, "Get ready." Squirm. He shifted, "3…" his hands moved, "…2…" Faye began to panic, "…1"

"See cowboy. I told you he liked her!" Jet's head waggled at the teasing. "Poor boy couldn't even wait to get her home."

Jet frowned into his beer, "I never argued with you, I just said I doubt he'd act on it **or** admit it."

She giggled, "Oh. He's actin' on it now." Jet glanced at the hallway. Sure enough, barely concealed in shadow, he could just make out Spike pressed comfortably against Faye. He scowled and felt dirty spying on the two, but Lihas had ducked down that corridor and he'd be damned if he let the bounty slip away just because Spike decided to finally put the moves on Faye. _Why isn't she beating the snot out of him?_

"Ahh… look. Your friend's got his hands all over her." Jet pulled a face. "Doesn't look like **she** minds too much." Annie shook her head and sighed, "Poor Kevie. She'll be the one that doesn't follow the game plan." She grinned, "He'll be **sooooo** pissed!" Shrug, "You'd think an ass hat like him'd be used to blue balls by now."

"Thanks for the mental picture."

Annie gestured with her umbrellaed cocktail, "Looks like they got quite the audience." She fanned herself with a bar napkin, "Though I don't blame them for gawking. My lord! I know anything goes at this place but no one does that! It's innocently, hot." She sighed, "Usually it's rutting on the floor. No build up." She waved over the barman and pointed, "Is that even legal?!"

Jet cringed when Ed's excited yelp sounded through his comm. He turned it down before grunting at the bouncy teen. "YEAH!! Spike-person is finally being nice to Faye-Faye. Kissy-kissy!" Her eyebrows took on a worldly wiggle, "Will they be kissing and hugging tight like those movies Papa-Jet says Ed is **not** allowed to watch?"

"You're a daddy?" Jet paled as Annie leaned closer, catching Ed's voice. She grinned at the tiny screen in Jet's hat. "Oh! What an adorable little boy!"

Ed giggled, "Edward is Edward. A girl. Who are you?"

"You're a girl?" Annie's eye's scrunched, "What's all over your face, Honey?"

Ed frowned, "Edward is not honey. Edward is…" Jet disconnected and stuffed his hat back atop his head.

"Well that was rude."

"That conversation would **never** have ended." He smirked, "I provided a service."

Annie began studying the Spike and Faye show. She let out a heart-felt sigh, full of longing. "A guy that can kiss like that probably can do a lot of other nice things too." She studied Faye, "Actually, she shouldn't be a disappointment either." She gasped, "You know, they make a pretty good team." Jet turned his back to the entire scene. Deciding Lihas was not about to let such an insult slide, besides they deserved a little privacy- at least from him. "Though I don't think Kevie likes the show." Annie's snicker morphed into a shocked gasp, "KEVIN! STOP!" Jet whirled around and immediately pulled his gun. _Shit! Shitshitshitshitshit!_

…1" Spike crashed into Faye, anchoring her firmly to the wall. He had hoped she would guess what he was planning, but had missed the cues. "Maaam da melll mo mmn mo momng?!"

Mouth still pressed against Faye's he hissed, "Shut up." When she began to retort he returned full force, changing the appearance of the kiss from uncomfortable teens to unbridled frenzy. He released enough to murmur, "Play along. Audience." Catching on, Faye fell directly into the role of horny girlfriend. She detected Lihas off to her left, trying to melt into the hooting crowd.

"Damn! And I thought their little dance was hot!" Shouted a drunk stewardess.

"NNGYAA! I ain't never seen somethin' like tha' here!" Faye slipped her arms inside his jacket.

A man cackled, "It's shit like this that keeps me comin' back!" A few drinks clinked, "Gotta give 'em credit, they're more original than most!"

"Haven't been anywhere that people can be so free!" More clinking. Faye hooked her leg around Spike's hip and pulled him closer.

"No joke. Dude, ya gonna fuck her right here?" Spike began groping, popping another button open on her blouse.

Lihas attempted to slip by, "Hey asshole, get outta the way!" He was rudely returned to his front row seat. Spike hefted Faye up the wall, allowing her to wrap the second leg around his frame.

"Oh. My. God." A girl sighed from the far right, "That's the hottest couple I have **ever** seen here!"

"I'd bone her!" Spike pressed closer to Faye, taking note that he actually wouldn't mind trying this sans the onlookers. Someone was slugged, "Fuck was that for?!" Spike connected the noise, _You deserved that asshole._

"That dude'd kill ya. Look at 'im."

"Pff… he's skinny. I could take him." Snickers. Faye grinned, _He must've flexed._ She was shocked when Spike's acting increased, became possessive and demanding. _Is he showing off?_ He released a hand from supporting her to resume exploring. She gasped when it slipped inside her blouse, popping a second button and inching around the lace boundary.

"I think he's too much for her." A smug voice from the back, "She's just a little girl." The voice sulked. "He needs a woman that can meet **all **his needs," she purred. Faye's brows furrowed. Spike pressed closer, his hand brushing below lace. She moaned while nipping his ear and grinned at the shocked gasp. Having fun, she latched onto his mouth. Spike nibbled her lip and grinned, "One free…" Faye returned the favor.

"She's so fake!"

Another viewer, "Shut up! You're jus' jealous." Her voice grew quiet, "'Sides, they might stop an' I wanna see how long they keep this up before they head to one of the booths." Spike pulled away attending to between the open collar of Faye's blouse. She rolled her head back and knotted her fingers in his hair. When he made his way back up he detoured and paused at her ear. His whispered, stressed and measured words, "Faye you shouldn't be listening to the peanut gallery." He smirked, "Especially when I'm doing **all **the work." Faye's legs tightened around his mid-section, her hand slipping off his shoulder to catch his at her derriere. Easing it up her side she left it free in order to tug his shirt out and toy with his belt, dipping behind. Her hand pressed against heated skin, she grinned when she inspired an audible intake of air before attending to his neck. "Faye, remember we need to get rid of Lihas." Spike sounded strained. _Catch the bounty, celebrate with Faye. Catch the bounty then…_

"Where is he?" She kissed along his jaw, in order to keep the show moving.

His hands slipped below to reapply support, "Behind my right shoulder." Faye nodded, loosening her legs. She kept her arms around his neck as he eased her to the floor, his body shielding her disheveled clothing from most the audience. Still close he added, "Head towards Jet at the bar. I'll deal with the trash and then you." He grinned, close. "Think we should break in some of those toys you bought." She blushed. He gave the voyeurs a final kiss to discuss, pleased when he heard a woman ask her date if he could try that. When Faye didn't respond, he kissed her forehead and spun her towards the desired destination with a nudge. Effectively cutting Lihas, who had forced his way close, from Faye.

"From what I heard, ass munch, **she** was lookin' for **me**." Lihas hissed before swiping at Faye's elbow. She appeared a bit tipsy.

Spike's brow quirked as he blocked the grab, "Really? 'Cause she **came** with me."

Faye mumbled, "Prefer him," jerking her thumb at Spike as she teetered away. He grinned when the bounty visibly jerked, his eyes narrowing. Faye couldn't hide the happy, hopeful grin replaying Spike's parting words.


	25. Chapter 25

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Let's get ready to rumble!

Chapter 25: Ballroom Blitz (The Sweet)

Jet jumped the second Annie hissed and headed towards the two exhibitionists. He rolled his eyes at the various comments. Compared to the limits some of the other patrons had gone, the Spike and Faye show had been tame. Barely PG, if he was technical. He glared at a couple in another corner who were obviously further along in their coupling game than his partners' heated kiss and sighed, some people really needed to learn discretion.

He peered down the hallway. Lihas had grown tired of the demonstration, shoving close to the involved pair. Jet was near enough to see their hormone induced, dazed expressions. Gut instinct screaming that Spike or Lihas would make a move. Jet felt his nerves begin to fray when Faye was nudged towards him, Lihas materializing from behind a doorframe. Jet could only see the attack ready posture of Spike's back, it painfully obvious he was loosening his muscles for a fight. His slipping side to side; a silent warning: 'Lihas is armed.' Jet arrived just in time to yank Faye away from the two before the scuffle exploded.

Faye flinched a bullet whizzing past her ear. With the report the rest of the club detonated. Panic stricken screams laced the air while people flocked to the exits. Faye elbowed her way into the hall, Jet close behind her. It was immediately apparent Lihas had been able to wing the bounty hunter and was aiming every blow for the injured shoulder, sadistic pleasure etched on his still healing features. Jet caught Faye's arm, and yanked her around the corner and out of the line of fire. "Spike can't do anything if he's busy wondering' where the hell you are." He grumbled.

"He doesn't care where I am as long as I don't get in his way." Jet scowled, certain Faye was wrong. He'd caught Spike's quick glance to make sure she was out of Lihas's reach. Suddenly tired and frustrated at the panic stricken mass he drug her to the bar.

"Try the Backdoor." Faye nodded and hustled for the exit. "Hey!" She paused. "You aren't armed. Come 'ere."

Faye turned, "What good's it goin' to do me?" She waved her bandaged hand. Another shot rang out behind him. He caught Faye ducking behind a tipped table. He checked his gun, and groaned, just catching snippets of Spike taunting Lihas, _Idiots, all of 'em. Only one with any sense on the ship is Ein! _Jet flipped the safety off his gun and began scanning for Faye. _Where the hell is she? _Following where he guessed she had slunk off to he paused, turning to study the nearly empty dance floor. A table jerked. Jet glanced to the hall, verifying Spike was still there and eased towards the possessed stand. He groaned when a golden wig flipped across the space. Flopping innocently near his foot, he kicked the hair piece out of the way and rushed towards the wigless woman he immediately connected to three other locations.

Faye was caught off guard as she slid behind the table. She blinked the stars from her eyes, the assailant coming into focus. She growled, "Watch it."

"No, Sweetie. You watch it." Faye scooted away from the voice. A large hand clamping on her leg, "Kevie put you on his wish list. Even sacrificed Boris to get you and I'm gonna make sure he does." Annie shrugged, "You'll be a disappointment, but I can use you to put him back in line."

Faye kicked at the offensive she beast and snarled, "Kevin might as well learn he doesn't always get what he wants."

The grip tightened, "If I can get Kevie his toy, then he'll calm down and earn enough money to make Boris's bail. Then you can let him down hard." Faye was jerked closer, "You want to help me get Boris don't you?"

"Not really." Faye waited for the second jerk then planted her foot between Annie's legs. She groaned, releasing Faye and flopping to the side. Ragged breaths punctuated by gagging. Faye snickered, "You ain't a lady if that kick made you want to throw-up." She spun, crashing into Jet's approaching thigh. She fell back, only to have Annie catch her arm and pull her close. Her feminine façade slipping as she pressed Faye to her padded chest. Faye snickered, "Wow. Those are pretty decent falsies." Jet rolled his eyes. Annie grip turned remarkably distressful. Faye attempted to jerk away from the painful wheezes of her captor. She glanced at Jet, obviously not amused. She had places to be and it wasn't as the hostage of a gasping, ugly transvestite.

Jet scowled at Faye, ignoring the bald woman. Pain under control, Annie groaned to catch his attention. His eyes flickered her way, "I didn't think you liked girls, Miss Annie."

She snarled and tugged Faye up. "Mm not."

Faye rolled her eyes and stomped. Sharp heeled shoes connecting to exposed, foot with a nasty snap. Faye scowled, "Shit. I broke my heel." Annie gasped and released. Not waiting for the singer to regain her composure Faye hobbled past, she tugged her shoes off and with half a wave eased out the door and into the darkened parking lot.

Annie chuckled, "She's a spirited one." Her head quirked to the side, "Kevie would've been so bummed. She's nothing like he imagined." Annie grinned, "Hey, Cowboy." He barely turned his head towards the noise, before his world became momentarily black. Blinking the sparks away he focused in on Annie, winding up for a second shot. She swung wide giving Jet the perfect opening. He caught her in the ribs.

"Unngh!" She whined, "That's cheap! Hittin' a lady."

Jet snorted, "Annie, you're not a lady."

She scowled, "I look like one."

"When it's convenient and dimly lit." She gasped. Jet's scowl deepened, "You've been watching Faye since she was at the university, even gave her the info on tonight." She swallowed. "An' you're the one that provided the money to get Lihas supplies. Even busted him out, right Anthony?"

Annie folded her arms, "That's only 'cause Boris was too hurt to be released." Highly made-up eyes slit, "Which is **your** fault."

"You know," Jet grinned, "You've earned yourself quite the bounty too." He twitched and made another swing, clipping Jet's jaw. Furious Jet blocked with his mechanical arm on the next panicked swing. Impact was followed by a sickening crunch. Anthony crumpled to the floor, cradling a shattered hand. Jet roughly yanked the hand away, receiving a solid punch in the stomach which he promptly returned. The mystery associate's nose cracking from the force, connecting the two arms and rolling the body to the side, he staggered towards the hallway, changed his mind and eased into a nearby chair. Annie had a decent punch.

Faye breathed, trying to control her nervous shaking. Forcing calm, she quickly picked the lock of the club's back door. She could make out the sound of scuffling; sporadic grunts, shuffling feet and the occasional taunt intermixing with the continual onslaught of punches and kicks. Unsure whether Lihas was still armed, Faye cautiously cracked the door open. Spike appeared as calm and collected as always. Perfectly in his element he grinned before connecting shoe to head. Lihas was well worked over. He lurched towards his opponent, his advances sluggish and unfocused. "You're getting' slow." Two more kicks and a punch connected.

"Fuck you."

Spike chuckled, before landing a palm to the bounty's face. Sick of the cat and mouse game, Faye scanned the rubble for a useful weapon. She attempted to slide along the wall towards a forgotten gun, her movements distracted the pair and in one smooth movement she was clutched to Lihas's chest. "Back off, cowboy or your chick'll get it." Spike's grin grew as he backed a fraction and pulled his gun from its holster. Faye bristled and stilled. Lihas snarled and tugged her closer.

"You don't think I won't shoot her, dipshit?"

Faye frowned. Spike paused, _She believes I will!_

Lihas chuckled darkly. "No you won't shoot her, you worked too hard protecting her from me." More giggling ruffed Faye's hair. "Too bad she ended up right where you didn't want her, huh cowboy?"

Faye attempted to jerk, only to feel metal click around her wrist. He caught the second hand pulling roughly. She let out a pained gasp, his grip disturbing her knitting joints. "Hold still." She refused to comply, twisting and jerking at every opportunity.

Spike waited, an opening would occur soon enough.

Lihas shook her roughly, "Hold still bitch or I'll shoot you AND your idiot boyfriend." Faye bristled and stilled. Spike decreased the distance. His sudden stance to attack making Lihas pause. Faye jerked back, cracking her head against his chin. The sudden pain shooting along his jaw caused Lihas to panic and in his haste to escape he pushed her towards Spike. She caught her toe on a piece of broken door, unable to use her arms for balance or to break her fall she stumbled towards an armed Spike. Scowling, he dropped the gun and stuck both hands out to prepare for impact. She crashed into his chest, both falling to the floor.

Lihas not waiting to see what happened turned and bolted through the softly banging back door. He'd get his revenge. Right now he needed to keep his freedom and contact his supplier. As rushed for his Monopod he determined to blow the two cowboys out of the solar system and teach the tease a lesson. He eased his ship behind a nearby chunk of Saturn's ring and waited. He'd let them think he'd turned tail and run.

Faye huffed and stood hastily, stepping quickly over her bound hands and pulling them to her stomach. She bent and retrieved the Jericho off the floor. "You dropped this," she passed the weapon off. Spike grinned. Flustered she yanked a clump of hair behind her ear and retrieved a hair pin. He watched as she fiddled with the device. She glanced at him when she slipped the bent piece of metal into the keyhole, "You look like shit." The cuffs clattered to the floor. He glared at her as he pulled out cigarette.

"You're point?" She rolled her eyes and chuckled, unfazed, and began tugging off his jacket. "Now's not the time, Faye. Our man's just gotten away."

The undressing stopped. She pulled away and blinked, "Hadn't crossed my mind, I'm checking that bullet hole in your shoulder and I doubt Lihas went far."

Spike began to shrug, grimacing when the wound pulled, "Just a flesh wound."

"Bullshit," she tugged roughly on the jacket to prove her point. Spike hissed then caught her damaged hand. Recoiling she kicked him in the shin, "Ass!"

"Turn about, bitch." She slapped his arm. Leaning against the wall she helped herself to his cigarette. He melted to the floor, "We better get after…" he grimaced and took a measured breath, "…Lihas." She huffed and slid next to him. Spike glanced at her feet when she returned his cigarette, "Shoes?"

"Lost them stomping on a transvestite's foot."

"You do run in interesting circles, don't you?" He returned the smoke.

She took a drag, "Stuff it," sighed, "Tonight sucked. I lost my shoes, the bounty and you popped several buttons off my blouse…" and pouted.

Spike grinned, "It wasn't all bad."

"Really?" She looked hopeful.

"Yeah, they had a decent beer on tap." Hope dashed. Spike grinned internally, it was for the best. He'd let himself enjoy their act too much, anyway.

Jet rotated his jaw. Someone passed a wet rag. He accepted with a stiff nod. "I saw the librarian by the back door." A face Jet now recognized as the brunette show girl supplied. The bartender took a careful step over the crumpled drag queen.

"Where's the tall guy she was with?" The two swapped an uncomfortable glance.

"Who?" The brunette was lost.

"That lucky S.O.B. that was makin' out with her?" Jet nodded. The barman shrugged, "No clue." Jet painfully righted himself. Gathering his resolve, he lurched his way to the quiet hallway. Lihas had successfully shot out most the sporadic lights, forcing Jet's addled brain to concentrate harder on the destruction before him. Glass shards and plaster littered the floor. Holes, ranging from tiny to head size, punctuated the hall. The emergency exit alarm sounded shrilly, the door bouncing off the frame in a spasmodic beat. An orange glow bobbled halfway down the corridor. As Jet approached, he found the small ash connected to a grimace. _They're not killing each other._ "Come out in the light so you can get that arm cleaned up." He frowned, "Where's Lihas?"

Faye stood, "Bolted."

"Shit. Spike! Up on your feet, you're bleeding all over the hallway. Faye fix him up." He returned to the bar not waiting for the retort. ISSP would arrive soon to pick up Anthony. Sitting in a stool he sighed and connected to the Bebop.

"Hello. Bebop-Bebop."

"Hey Ed. I've got a job for you."  
"Really?!" She glanced off screen, "Where's Faye-Faye?"

"What're you talking about Ed, she's…" Spike eased to the bar and settled stiffly in a nearby stool. Jet frowned and promptly began to hassle the remaining club staff for a first aid kit. "Hey, Where's…?"

"Oh my goodness!" The brunette rushed for the lanky bounty hunter. "Were you shot?!" Spike unconsciously shifted away from the advancing woman. She paused, "Where's your date? Did she get hurt?"

Jet scowled. "Spike, where's…"

The waitress gasped, "Oh my! You were trying to save her weren't you!?!" She squealed. Jet ignored the sickened look, "How romantic!" She cooed.

Spike shrugged and gave Jet an intense glare. Ignoring his cue the older man returned his focus to the flustered teen. "Ed find Faye's tracker."

Faye rolled her eyes, "I'm right here Jet."

He jumped and gave the disheveled woman a tentative once over.

Her lip curled, "I had a lot of glass to make my way around," she lifted a bare foot, "No shoes, remember?"

Spike shifted away from the admiring waitress, feeling sorry Faye slid between the advancing server and the cranky cowboy.

Jet followed her actions and Spike's relieved sigh. "Hmm." He frowned, "You'll need to stitch this up."

"Pff. It's just a scratch." Jet snorted and took a page from Faye's repertoire. He poked the gash. Spike jerked and hissed, "Stop that."

Jet chuckled, "Damn, that's pretty deep. You get that when you were makin' sure Faye was out of the way?" He glanced at Faye, a soft dusting of pink coloring her cheeks.

"Shut it. It's just a lucky shot." He snorted, "I'm not going to die from a fuckin' bullet graze." He blew the last of his smoke in Jet's grinning face. "Leave it."

The waitress shifted nervously, "Can't you get tetanus from bullet wounds?"

He ignored her, "Lihas ran, we need to hurry or he'll be gone." Spike helped himself to a bottle.

"He WHAT?!"

Shrug, "Used her as a shield, then threw her at me." He glared at Faye as she wrapped the gash. "She tripped and fell on me."

Jet frowned and dug up extra gauze and passed it off, "He's bleeding through." He glared at the bottle of pilfered scotch, "Drinkin' isn't gonna help either."

Spike's scowl grew.

Jet grinned, "You're goin' to want to be sober when you teach Lihas not to mess with **your** woman, Spike-o." He chuckled, "It's usually more effective when you're not slobbering drunk."

Faye, unhealthily pink now wandered off to find more bandages. Both cowboys watched her leave.

Spike's jaw muscle began jumping. "Back. Off. Jet."

He leaned closer, "You're bleeding and you'll need to help out Faye. You think it wise to get sloshed on top of that?!"

"Sounds like a plan." He bounced the uninjured shoulder.

"Spike if you're stupid you'll get her and yourself killed." He scrubbed at his neck, "I know you don't give a shit about yourself but…"

"Faye's a big girl."

"Bullshit." Jet scowled, "I've seen you checkin' in on her. The way you kept Lihas and anyone else away." He kicked a stool, "Stop fuckin' around. She needs help and if you're not gonna help her, Ed and I will! Lihas is dangerous, he'll kill her if he gets his hands on her." He flipped his comm open and waited.

Spike scowled, "What you doing?"  
"I'm sure Ed can track Lihas's trajectory if we're careful." Faye hobbled over to the beaten transvestite. Jet coughed, "Kid was smart enough to put a tracer on Faye," he snorted, "stupid woman has a talent for getting drug places she's best left far from."

Spike grinned and took a greedy slug of the drink he'd lifted while Jet's back was turned.

Jet turned on the first beep, "Stop drinkin' that!"

Lihas stilled the ship and contacted Wolfe and Jeff. He'd need back-up if he was going to take out the girl and her idiot cowboy. _She'll pay for leading me on. _He snickered when the ISSP ships slid past. Now all he had to do was sit and wait for the red ship, he recognized from Blue Suede, to lift off. To relieve some of his frustration he began initiating his weapons and planning for the near future. Revenge and toy collecting was expensive and he had some business to attend to.

Faye returned with a handful more wrapping. She clucked, "You should let me stitch that, you're still bleeding' through."

He twitched at her touch, "I'm fine. Fuck off."

She snorted, "You're getting a bit testy." Spike helped himself to his bottle. Faye teased, "You only get moody when you're tryin' to hide something." She leaned closer, "Does lil' Spiky need Faye to kiss it better?" Her eyes flitted to the bandage. She frowned and swiped the bottle of pilfered scotch. It thumped, the contents sloshing audibly, when she plunked it on the counter, "No more booze."

His scowl grew, "When did you become my keeper?"

Faye pretended to think, "Didn't!" Spike's jaw muscle began jumping anew. Faye leaned closer, "You're bleeding and need to fly home." She stood up, "You've seen the ads about flying drunk. They all end with the boozer going SPLAT! To make matters worse, you're bleeding **A LOT**!" He ignored her and took a swipe for the bottle. "What's your problem, you have a death wish or something?!" She nudged the container further away.

"None of your business." He glared at her before giving the glass a longing look.

"You take one more sip and I'll fly **you** home." She wiggled the key, "I mean it. One sip!"

_When'd she lift that?_ He scoffed, "You couldn't get it off the ground."

"Try me." Spike snagged the bottle and fought the sharp stab the tore through his torso. Vindicated he took a long, greedy pull and grinned. Faye sneered, "Guess you're flying' back with Jet, Cowboy."

Jet turned to the arguing pair, "Like hell he is. He'll bleed all over the upholstery." He glared at Faye, "You started this game, finish it."

Spike chuckled, "What? Don't want an audience, Faye?" Her posture stiffened. He took another healthy glug, "You don't know the starting sequence. 'Sides the Swordfish is a bit tricky."

She scoffed, "You fly one ship you've flown 'em all."

ISSP arrived. Jet cleared his throat and growled behind paperwork, "You two get out of here, you're giving me a headache." The waitress stood rooted, watching the excitement unfold. She sighed to the bartender, "It's like my soaps!" Jet choked when he overheard, causing the officer processing the bounties to pound him on the back.

Faye settled in the pilot's chair, leaving Spike to contemplate on the wing. She slid forward, indicating he sit behind her. "What I can't sit on the floor?"

"Not when I'm wearing something like this." He crawled in making every effort to invade her personal space (not an exceptionally hard task, considering the square inches.) She shifted back. "Eh… Spike?" He leaned forward, "Could you give me some room?"

"Nope." He dropped his hands on her thighs, smirking when her breath caught.

She slid back into him, "Fine. I'll just make room." To prove her point she wiggled provocatively. She giggled when he stiffened and slid away.

Not to be outdone, he grabbed her waist, his fingers wrapping around to rest in the hollow made by her hips, "Make sure you can reach everything comfortably." Her wiggling immediately stilled.

She began the launch sequence, "I can reach." She relaxed, "Lift off." Inertia slid her flush against him. "You can, uh… move your hands. I'm good." Spike grinned and tightened his grip, his fingers rubbing small circles where he touched her.

"Careful, she favors the right." Faye hissed when she had to apply extra pressure with her injured hand. Spike's mood plummeted, _She can fly this._ He knew she was capable, having sparred regularly with her. He thought it was due to being accustomed to the RedTail.

Faye snickered, "Surprised?" He grunted. She shrugged, taking the grunt as the compliment it was she smiled, "I had to take this out occasionally while you recuperated." Her pleasure came through her in voice, "That's how the alignment was screwed up."

Spike leaned forward, "You blamed me."

She shrugged, "And you believed me." Both jerked roughly when a missile exploded to their left. "Shit!" She turned to the right, biting her lip roughly in an attempt to ignore the pain ripping up her arm. Spike frowned, his head bouncing off the cockpit. He reached around her fiddling with the comm- she was a bit distracted.

Jet smiled when his communicator chirped. _Good. They've made it. _He pressed connect, "Yeah?"

"Got some trouble."

"WHAT?!"

Faye's frazzled profile filled the screen. Spike's voice drifting through, "We have some…" an explosion shook the two, "trouble, Jet." He paused to allow Faye to finish cussing, "Lihas decided to play hide-n-seek." He grinned, Faye was actually pretty impressive.

Jet scowled, "AND?!"

Faye barked over the comm, "We need help! He's got a friend." Another bang, followed by Spike's face filling the screen as Faye's head tipped forward. The image flickered. Faye sat up.

"Nice shot." Spike chuckled, "His friend was taken out… not sure location. We're in the rings." Spike directed his attention to Faye's stiff spine, "Try and outrun Lihas."

"Shove…" She became distracted. "Jet. Get out here and help us!" The screen blacked.

"Faye! Spike!" He frowned, _Spike must still be bleeding, he sounded loopy._

Ed twitched at Jet's news and frowned. "Will Faye-Faye and Spike-person be ok?"

"I don't know Ed. Try to figure out where they are based on the little bit of information we could gather." She nodded and disconnected.

Faye dodged around another chunk of ice. _This is pretty when you're not running through it._ She whipped around another large floater, pieces of it shattering around her when Lihas's missile hit. She bit her lip harder and jerked to the right, ignoring the coppery flavor that filled her mouth. Spike shifted and slammed into the wall. "Dammit." She jerked around another blob, jerking the ship roughly to and fro. Spike groaned, blood oozing down his arm and dripping off his elbow. Lihas caught a wing, knocking the ship towards a nearby moon. Panicked Faye yelped, "Spike! SPIKE!!" He groaned, "Spike we're out of ammunition. How do I turn on the cannon?" She leaned back, "Spike?"

He groaned and tilted forward, numbly flipping a switch. "Careful…" He slumped forward, his head nestled against her back. The pressure jerked her arm into the controls. The ship lurched sideways. "Spike. Sit back I can't…" she gasped, a large chunk bouncing off the ship's body. Both occupants were tossed into the wall. With a pained hiss Faye tried the comm.

"Jet! JET!"

"Yellllin' won' make 'im hearrrr you, Ffffayye."

She ignored Spike's drawl and forced herself to calm. She took a breath, "Jet, we're going down. Small… eh… looks like a moon." She frowned trying to remember which of the miniscule moons met the description of the chunk of rock hurtling towards them. "Smaller moon. Outside rings."

Jet glared at the static mess. He was able to decipher: 'Goin' down' and 'small…'. With a snarl he tethered the disabled racer with his tow line and began hauling one of Lihas's student followers back towards the waiting ISSP agents at the Initiate. He connected to the Bebop, "Ed. You find anything?"

Her head shook.

"Faye mentioned a small, I think, moon near the rings."

Ed frowned, "Edward thinks they're on a shepherd rock."

"What?"

"Pandora and Prometheus, silly." She held her hands up, "They keep the rings from running away like shepherds watch sheep. Baaa."

He rubbed his face, "Can they survive for a bit?"

"Uh…" typing, "They should be ok. There's a small casino on Prometheus and Pandora had uh…" she frowned, "Huh. There used to be a campground there, but they ran out of popularity when the casino opened."

"Can they breathe Ed?"

"Edward thinks so."

"Shit." He glared at the trailing ship. "It'll take us a bit to find 'em."

Ed nodded, worry written across her face in bold when Jet disconnected.

Faye groaned, the impact had jarred every bone in her body. She scowled at the warm weight pressing her into the console. _What the…?_ With a yelp she pressed the mass back and spun, only to find an unconscious and heavily bleeding Spike limply flopped across the seat. In a panic she dug for a stray med kit, glue, anything to seal the wound. She grinned when she touched the familiar metal case below the seat. Easing Spike up, she tore off his jacket. "No' now Faye. I'm sleepin', laaterrr… promise." His hand grazed her hip before dropping limply back to his lap. "I wan' to after sleep, please." She blushed slightly at the implication and continued to remove his jacket and bloody shirt. Hastily she cleaned the wound as well as she could and began stitching the gash. He groaned and attempted to move, "Hold still."

"Knock off. I's jus' scratch."

"Shut it and hold still." She frowned. He'd lost a lot of blood and by the gash on his head he was not in a position to go exploring or sleep. She kept babbling. "Fuck. You're a pest, you know that lunkhead?"

"Pff… try."

"I know you do." She knotted the final stitch and began shredding her blouse. "You owe me a new shirt."

"Why?"

"Because I had to use it to wrap your injury."

"Wha' ind-jury?"  
She frowned and immobilized his arm with his own shirt. "The hole in your arm, idiot."

"Fuck…er… Leehss shot me."

"Yup."

Foggy brown eyes glanced at her, "You're naked." Sloppy grin, "That why I'm t'd up?"

She blushed, "No. You can't move your arm now hold still and don't fall asleep."

"Pff…" he grinned, "Close 'nough." The smile shifted, "Where's Lihas?"

"Don't know." She fingered his gun and scowled, "Maybe he's dead."

"Nah…" he yawned. She tried lifting it- it wouldn't work with her finger mangled again. With a sigh she left it on the console, tossed his jacket over his drowsing form and tried to plan how she would take out Lihas without getting Spike or herself killed. She glanced at the misshapen digit. Spike was in no position to help. She gritted her teeth, trying to decide if she could slip the bone back in place without assistance. Tentatively she clasped the finger and hissed. _Ok on three._ It took her five false starts before she lost patience and tugged the finger home. It was a sloppy attempt but the bone was back where it belonged. Shaking she immobilized the finger, tying it snuggly to its two neighbors. She repressed the urge to vomit or swoon, forcing herself to study the barren landscape and contemplate what to do next. The time ticked by, her hand throbbing like a second hand's tick. Afraid to sleep Faye kept a wary, painful vigil.

Spike stirred, "When'd you learn to fly the Swordfish?"

She shrugged, "Matter of necessity. How else do you think it got back to the Bebop. Jet refused to tow it and I didn't want it dismantled. So I collected it."

He blinked, "Why?"

She shrugged folding her arms across her chest, "I figured you'd be back and want it." She snickered, "Don't know why you're worried, you can use that money you lifted off Lihas to pay for repairs."

"How'd…?" Spike slunk into the seat, _Huh._ They sat in silence for quite a while, Faye concentrating on his steady breathing and planning what to do next, Spike contemplating Faye's admission. He cleared his throat, "What if I didn't come back?"

"Never considered it," her shoulders rose slightly, "Technically, you didn't. Ed and I found you and brought you back."

"What if you hadn't found me?"

"I'd probably be alone again." She slipped from his lose grip and settled on the floor.


	26. Chapter 26

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Stranded!

Chapter 26: Duck and Run (Three Doors Down)

Lihas pulled himself from the wreckage and scowled, _Where's Jeff and Wolfe?_ He grinned when he realized the cowboy and the college girl were just over the next rise based on the ribbon of smoke swirling upward. _Hopefully he's dead and I can take my time with her._ He studied the mangled remains of his ship, the extra storage had survived and with a satisfied air he pulled out a few of his favorite weapons. He studied his surroundings, deciding on paying the red ship a wake-up call before he began trekking towards the dim light perpendicular to the line between him and the annoyance. _I'll remind that cowboy and the girl who they're messin' with while they're down, get some rest, Wolfe and some food then I'll deal with the trash at my leisure_. He snorted and spoke aloud, "It's not like they can get very far on this rock." With a pleased cackle he made his way towards the Swordfish. Destruction and mayhem on his mind.

Spike kicked, something or someone was close by. He cracked his eyes open when he heard the unwelcome intruder bounce off a panel and cuss. Faye groaned as she rubbed her head, "Ass." She collapsed in a wheezy puddle on the floor, "I was just checkin' you for a fever. What the hell?!"

He tried to shrug, "Why are you half dressed in my room?"

"We're not…" a noise from outside the ship stilled her. "Shh. Stay put." She glanced at him. He was still pale and weak. "Pretend you're dead." She peered out the side of the hatch, grimacing at the bruises on top of bruises as they pulled and protested.

"Faye, what the hell's…" the ship jerked. Dirt and sand spraying around the mangled cockpit.

Faye remained rooted glaring out the window. "Huh. Well now I know we can breathe out there. She stared in shock as another projectile raced their way. After impact she opened the hatch.

"Where you…"

"Stay put." She flung a leg over the side, "I'll get rid of Lihas. You stay here," their eyes met, "Please." Before he could respond she'd slid down the side and run away from the ship.

He tried to yell at her, but she'd resealed the hatch on her way out. "Faye! FAYE!" She gave a half wave and disappeared into a crater. Groaning he sat up and waited for the world to settle before he could make himself move. He studied the barren landscape, then the stars and flickering colored rings above. _Where have I seen this…_ He grinned when the moon's name came to mind, _Pandora._ He glanced out the window, Faye was skirting another crater and limping. He scowled when she ducked, the snap of a gun meeting his ears shortly after. Not needing further incentive he cracked the hatch and began sliding out the ship. Something caught his eye, on the console, shining dully sat his Jericho. He growled, _She left unarmed?_ "Shit, Faye!"

Faye groaned, certain she'd stepped on every sharp rock between the Swordfish and Lihas. She shivered and hid behind a large rock. She'd caught sight of the small campground. It looked abandoned, but the slowly curling smoke said otherwise. With a grin and a tiny sliver of hope she tried to decide: Go back and get Spike or Keep Lihas busy. The sound of gravel shifting made the decision for her. With a panicked yelp she kicked out towards the intruder.

"Watch it Faye." He slid next to her, his arm still bound, jacket hung limply off his shoulders. He grinned, "You're thorough I couldn't get out of this."

She smiled and dug at her foot, "Didn't want you ripping' out my half-assed stitches." She shrugged, "Or pull the glue."

"What?"

"I superglued the cut." Shrug, "You didn't have enough thread."

He frowned, "We should get to that campground."

She nodded. "There's people there."

"Yup. You seen Lihas?"

She shook her head, "Not for a bit." She frowned, "I think he went back to his ship or he's headed to the camp too."

Spike nodded and stood, "Let's go."

Lihas grinned when he spotted the oddly placed, scrubby trees and tiny campground. All he'd have to do is get a room and wait for one of his stooges to make an appearance. He scowled, certain the girl had disabled Jeff. _Well, that dumb ass is no longer useful._ He headed back to his ship. He had some merchandise to make sure remained unharmed, or there'd be hell to pay. Silently berating himself for forgetting it as he retraced his angered march to the Swordfish.

Spike shrugged on his jacket and made his way towards the bedraggled little camp. Faye followed behind, limping and shivering slightly. He paused and groaned. "Faye?" She chattered close. "Faye, untie me." She scowled. He sighed, "Just do it." She complied, only to get his filthy jacket draped across her shoulders as he tugged his battered shirt back in place. He glared at her feet, "They hurt?"

"Huh?" She followed his gaze, "Oh. No." chuckle, "They're pretty numb now."

He nodded and began the trek again. The camp was just a bit further. Hopefully they'd have some clothes she could have and some running water to clean up the various bruises and gashes littering her body. He scowled, _Why do I care?_ They tripped up the dilapidated porch and on into the small foyer. A short, thin man shuffled towards the pair. "Well, I'll be. We haven't had customers for years."

Spike nodded. Faye shifted.

"What the hell happened to you two?!"

"Ship crashed. Can we borrow a communicator?"

"Nope."

Faye blinked, "What?"

"Don't have one."

She deflated, missing the elderly woman who materialized next to the grizzled man.

"Honey, you look a mess." She caught Faye's arm. "George, get these two a room. I'm going to see if we don't have something these poor kids can wear until help arrives." Faye smiled and hobbled after the woman. The old man tipped sideways to study Faye's exit, "You two together?" Spike nodded. "Lucky boy." He passed Spike a key, "It's small but comfortable. Mom loves to cook, just come back here and we'll feed ya." He whistled, "Damn lucky, you keep an eye on her or some young buck'll try to snatch her from under your nose." He chuckled, "I saw another ship land a bit ago. We'll have a handful of kids 'bout her age here pretty soon. She a college girl?" Spike nodded, "Be careful. They're a grabby lot. Come here to avoid folks and nosy guardians." He stuck out his hand, "Name's George. Me and my wife run this place. Welcome…"

"Spike."

The old man smirked, "And the girl?"

"Her name's Faye."

"Hey, where's your ship?"

Spike grinned, "Off that way."

"Oh… ok."

Faye appeared with several bags of clothes. Spike gave a weak nod, spun the key and meandered back towards her. She clutched the piles and provided a thin smile. "Let's go."

Spike and Faye dropped their baggage and surveyed the small space. Faye disappearing into a back room to discern the sleeping situation. She returned with a displeased grimace, "I call bed."

Spike shook his head, "We're adults, we can share." His thumb jerked towards the tiny couch, "I'm not sleeping on that or in the tub. You can if you want." Faye chewed her lip and nodded. Not wasting time she dragged the bags into their room and began unpacking. Spike made his way in to investigate when she groaned.

"What?"

"It's an interesting assortment." He tried to see the handful of fabric she had bunched in her hand. "I'm gonna shower."

He nodded and waited for the door to click closed before rummaging through the assortment of lost and found clothing. He snorted, _Khakis?_ The water shut off, Faye appeared, toweling off her hair. Spike grinned when he realized she was wearing a simple dress- Faye never wore simple dresses. She ignored his smirk and tugged her hair off her neck with a clip. "Shower Lunkhead, so we can make a plan on how we're goin' to get out of this hole." He nodded and disappeared into the steamy bathroom. Grumpy, Faye flopped on the couch and flipped through the ancient magazine.


	27. Chapter 27

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

A walk in the woods.

Chapter 27: Little Red Riding Hood (Rolling Stones)

Faye grew weary of the three year old magazine. With a frustrated growl, she tossed it on the couch, stood and slipped outside. Spike grinned when he heard to door latch. He had purposely taken his time, wanting to hide out alone.

Hungry, Faye meandered towards the diner. It was obvious the place never had a tourist season. Entering the small office the woman who had helped her find clothing shuffled closer, "Hello dear." Faye smiled. The woman gasped, "Where's your husband?" She shifted, "or is it boyfriend?"

"Showering and it's husband."

"Oh. Well, you must be starved. Come on, come on." Faye allowed the woman to tug her through the many rooms the smell of food making her mouth water.

Spike glared at his reflection. He looked like some wealthy punk's project. With a groan he stuffed himself into a jacket and trudged outside to find Faye. He scowled when he noticed her green sweater through the window of one of the smaller rooms connected to the registration office. Letting himself in, he eased close and smiled at the old woman refilling Faye's plate.

The woman blinked, "Ahh… so you're the young fellow my George was talkin' about." She grinned. "Hello, I'm Annette."

Spike bobbed his head. "Spike and Faye."

The woman blustered, "I noticed your girl appeared really hungry so I started feeding her without you. I hope you don't mind." He gave another nod and glanced at the selection of pastries. Faye shifted, wanting nothing more than to eat in peace. Annette inhaled sharply, "Sit. Sit!!" She scurried off and behind a tattered pink curtain, leaving a grinning Spike and fidgety Faye.

He snickered, "How do you get into these things?"

She shrugged, "Talent, I guess?"

"Here you go!" Rang from behind a curtain. Annette returned with several more plates, "Why were you two runnin'?"

Faye shrugged, "My family doesn't approve of our marriage."

"Ahh… you eloped?"

They nodded. Both repressing the urge to gag.

Annette cooed, "Well, you're safe here until you two can get help and sneak away."

Spike smiled and slung his arm around Faye's waist, "Thanks, ma'm." For effect, he kissed Faye's temple. She pinked.

Annette tipped over to pinch his cheek, "I don't know why her folks would be worried." She clucked, "Such a good, handsome boy, you are." She caught Faye's as well, "You're one lucky girl, Missy."

Faye smiled and gritted, "I sure am."

Annette jumped, "Oh my! No ring?!" Immediately she disappeared. Returning with a pleased grin, "These've been in the lost and found for ten years." She displayed a simple ring, "Try it." Faye glanced at Spike and slipped it on. Decent fit. Annette beamed and passed a band to him. Repressing the urge to gripe he slid his on as well. "Perfect. Now if any of those scruffy kids run into you, they'll realize you two are married." She shook her head, "No respect for anyone, those rich kids come and go and swap partners like they should be trading their undies." Her head bobbed and her lip extended in pious indignation.

Faye studied the link, "Uh… Thanks. We'll return 'em when we leave."

Annette shook her head, "No. Keep 'em and the clothes." She smiled, "They are our gift to you for your wedding."

"Uh…" Faye glanced at Spike unsure of protocol.

He smiled, "Thanks. Only gifts we got."

Annette smiled and disappeared. Spike studied Faye absently fiddling with the simple ring, a small smile tugging at her lips. His grin slipped when he glanced at his own, remembering a time before when he had really planned on appearing married. Sensing his slip down memory lane Faye sighed and began studying the landscape outside the window. _It's all pretend, anyway._ She shifted slightly, _Just like the club, and the night on the couch._ She jumped when two mugs clunked onto the table. Annette offering a small smile before disappearing. Faye chugged the drink, stood and headed back to the cabin. She wasn't feeling much like pretending. In fact, she was sick of it. Spike watched her go and frowned, unsure what had brought on the morose mood. Annette returned to refill his cup, "What's wrong with your sweetheart?"

Spike glanced at her and shrugged.

"Hmm… she looked almost like she'd cry. Poor thing. Did you two have a fight over the problems you two've gotten into?"

Spike grinned and shook his head, "No. Just all the excitement from yesterday finally gettin' to her."

"Poor thing." Annette studied Faye's posture as she walked past the cabin and on into what could loosely be described as woods. "You two should get a nap, then you can take her on a nice walk." She smiled, "A lot of our old visitors used to like that. There's a pond back in there, it's warm and private." She winked, "Great place to swim." Spike nodded, not really listening, "I can pack you a lunch, if you decide to go. Our fake light doesn't get there so it's dimly lit. Like dusk. We purposely keep it that way so people can hide out and relax."

He gave another nod, "Eh... thanks."

She smiled and disappeared into the kitchen.

Faye slogged past the little cabin; she didn't have a key anyway; and into the shabby, stringy woods. They appeared quiet and still green. She grinned at the various little creatures and plants growing across the path. Enjoying the crisp air and feeling of being away she meandered deeper into the pathetic growth, certain she could find her way back. She stilled when she came to a small pond. Collecting a few rocks she settled on the edge and took her time pitching the stones into the water. Bored she stuck her hand in. It was warm. She sighed, _Why do I let it bother me? _"Because you want it to mean something, just once." She groaned at her answer. Tired of feeling robbed or cheated every time one of Jet's plans forced them to act too close or she saw Spike without his damaged baggage. She pulled her legs in and rested her chin on her knees. This last job had been hard. It almost felt like they'd been something more than coworkers. Not only was she able to go back to school, and remember more, but Spike had played the perfect role of doting suitor. Then there was the flirting at the coffee shop, the possessive actions at the club, the protective nature he displayed during the fight. She frowned, it was just all too confusing and comforting.

Full, Spike made his way back to the cabin and frowned in the doorway. It was obviously empty- he had the key. _Where's Faye?_

"You lookin' for that hot chick that came with you?" Came a voice from two cabins over.

Spike's brow rose and he nodded, _Shit. When'd more people show up? _He covered with a friendly smile, "You mean…" he rolled his eyes, "my wife?" The kid looked familiar, but Spike wasn't able to place him.

"Wha'? No shit? Dude, you're lucky."

"Thanks." Spike watched the kid fiddle with a lighter. "You here long?"

"Nah. Just stopped by to drop off a girl and pick up some shit." The kid took a long pull off his pipe, "She went into the woods." The kid grinned, "Don't worry, my buddy went to see if she needed company."

Spike gave another nod and followed where the kid had indicated, _His buddy's gonna get a nasty surprise if Faye wants to be alone. _

Faye stilled when a twig snapped. She ignored the intruder, certain it was Spike. She jumped slightly when an unfamiliar voice came from behind, "Isn't smart for a girl like you to wander the woods by yourself." He grinned, "I'm sure you've heard of the big, bad wolf."

Faye chuckled, deciding to keep her role as a newlywed, she turned towards the beaming college boy, "Is that a pick up line?"

"Maybe." He shrugged, "Maybe it's a friendly warning. My buddies noticed you walk by."

She snorted, recognizing the kid from her time at M. Tech. She shrugged, "I'm not worried. I married a pretty scary fellow." She grinned at the flicker of unease, "Trust me, no wolf would dare touch me unless he wanted to be skinned."

The kid stepped closer. "Maybe I'm a wolf."

"Then you'll get your head chopped off soon enough." She shrugged, returning her attention to the water.

"You were in my history class at M. weren't ya?"

"Possibly. I'm in a lot of classes there."

Deciding to provide the woman with some space he settled a few feet away. "Pff… you were one of those good students, always on time takin' notes. Why you missin' class to hang out here?"

Faye wiggled the fingers of her left hand, "Decided to get married, quickly." She smiled, "I'll head back after the honeymoon and my folks settle down."

"So. If your hunter's so special, why isn't he out here with you?"

Faye turned, grinning, "He knows I can handle myself." She shrugged, inside she groaned, _He'd have to give a shit, first._

"Pff…" the kid leaned back on his elbows, "I bet he keeps a closer eye on you than you think. I've seen you two around."

"What are you a stalker?" Faye stiffened.

"No. You've been floatin' close to some circles I hang with." He snorted, "One of my buddies had his eye on you." He tossed a rock into the water, "Still does."

She snickered, "And who was this buddy?"

The kid stilled, "You don't remember Kevin?"

"Should I?"

"Whoa. I don't get it. Kevie has money and sway." He popped something in his mouth, crunching filling the space, "Why'd you take a no one like that skinny fellow?"

She shrugged, "Because I love him and he isn't a nobody."

Spike eased through the branches and scowled, _Love? Who?_ Shrugging he made his way towards the pair, with a pleasant smile he dropped next to Faye. He made sure the kid was watching before his hand settled on hers. She turned towards him, confusion and small whispers of shocked discomfort flitting past before the mask slipped back. He grinned and leaned close, still aware of the audience. "Why'd you slip away so quickly?"

She frowned, knowing the audience was facing her back, "You were still eating and I wanted to take a walk."

He glanced around her at the grinning student, "I see you found someone to keep you company."

"He found me." She gave an icy smirk, "He thinks he's a big, bad wolf."

An eyebrow rose and he slid closer, grinning when the chilly mask slipped to show nervous uncertainty. She resisted the urge to scoot away, their audience spell bound. His hand snaked behind her back and rested possessively on her hip. With a firm tug he pulled her close, noses touching. Nerves still evident on her features he leaned closer. She swallowed. He grinned when he heard their audience stand and meander away. Not finished, Spike's lips connected with Faye's. He chuckled at the sharp gasp and leaned into the kiss, causing her to tip back slowly. Enjoying the docile Faye, he brought his other hand to rest on her stomach. His fingers skirting to her leg and across the exposed skin below the raised hem. He felt the small shiver at the contact and deepened the kiss. Her hands drifting up, nervously, to touch the sides of his face. He slid the hand on her back lower, easing her flat. Following, he rested on an elbow, never releasing the connection. One of her hands eased to his chest, her movements careful, uncertain. Taking advantage of the temerity he deepened the kiss, his free hand slipping under her sweater and towards her back. She arched and gasped at the contact, pressing her body closer. He moved from her mouth, taking his time toward her ear. "This is much better than at the club…" She blinked, her brain stuck in happy comfortable.

"Yeah."


	28. Chapter 28

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

It's naptime!

Chapter 28: Memories Remain (Dropkick Murpheys)

Suddenly, she froze and pulled away. He scowled as she blinked and began subtly returning her clothing to its proper position. She gave a tentative smile and sat up, "The kid's gone, Spike." She stood, dusted off her clothes, "You need to be careful," she shifted, "Can't have you breakin' open those stitches." Shrug, "'Sides I'm not the one you want…" and headed back towards their new home, until Jet retrieved them.

He scowled. Confused. He was certain she'd been the only thing on his mind. He watched her ease away before standing. That was the problem. They were stuck on the moon with an irate bounty nearby and all he could think about was Faye under him. With a frown he followed her careful pace, her posture somewhere between defeat and frustration. He studied her shuffling gate, the tell-tale swipes of her arm across her face, the small shake of her shoulders. _What's this about?_

She waited at the door for him to unlock it. Not bothering to say anything she slipped past and flopped on the small couch, tugging the extra blanket over her shoulders and head. Spike scowled at her behavior before heading back outside. He had to see what he could salvage from the Swordfish, and by the look of Faye, she wasn't going anywhere for a while.

Jet sighed, trying to decide if he should try and contact Spike or leave him be for a bit. He glanced at Ed. "Faye-Faye and Spike don't know how to make friends without Edward and Jet helping."

He rubbed her head, "They're a decent team when necessity dictates kid." He shrugged, "Besides, Spike needs this time to work things out and Faye needs to realize he isn't hung up on stuff." He glared out a porthole, _Damn fool blew all that away, along with his spleen and part of his lung._ He'd spent quite a bit of time with the recovering cowboy, during his conscious moments when Faye was off earning money. The younger man definitely had a new perspective. Though disappointed he hadn't blown himself to hell along with his comrade, his drug induced babbling gave Jet a new understanding on the reasoning behind Spike's behavior: He was trying to protect her and himself. Somehow he had it in his head that if he fell in love she'd end up dead.

Ed blinked, "Faye-Faye always thinks Spike is stuck."

Jet nodded, "That's Spike's fault."

Ed grinned, "Lunkhead."

"Yup." Jet glanced at his comm when it chirped, thinking it was Spike he grinned, "So, how 're things going with you and F…"

Bob glared back, "What's this I hear your partners eloped?"

Jet frowned, "What?!"

Bob grinned, "Just heard from George and Annette's place on Pandora, you didn't think I'd be told."

Jet rubbed his forehead, "That's where they are?"

Bob nodded, "Annette recognized that fellow immediately. She says he and that new wife of his aren't getting along."

Ed shifted and eased closer, "Are Spike-person and Faye-Faye fighting?"

Bob blinked at the mass of orange and worried golden orbs. "Nah, kid. They just don't act like most newlyweds the two see."

"How'd you find out about this?" Jet scowled.

"George sent me their pictures. Guess they came to the camp in tatters and bloody, George and Annette thought they seemed suspicious."

"Oh. Good call, I guess."

"Yup. And I recognized 'em and thought I'd let you know." He flipped open a magazine, "Why they there?"

"Lihas shot 'em down and I guess that's where they crashed."

"Shit." He set the magazine down, "Do you know if they got him?"

"No."

"So they ain't married?"

"Nope."

Bob grinned, "I'm sure Annette would love to help kindle the flame. She already dug up some rings for 'em."

"Let her do what she wants. I don't care as long as they're safe from Lihas and his newest partner."

"I'd love to help you, Jet!"

He blinked and sighed when Bob revealed Annette and George's smiling faces on the second line. "Hey George, Anne."

George chuckled, "We'll have those two so wrapped into each other, you'll never know they fought."

Jet nodded, "Guess you heard about the irate bounty?"  
"Yup." George grinned, "We'll keep an eye on things 'til you get here."

Jet frowned, "Look, Spike and Faye both had injuries…"

Anne piped up, "I rewrapped the girl's fingers and Spike appears fine. We saw the stitches when he passed her his coat, girl's a crack medic when needed. You're lucky to find her."

George cut in, "Send us the bad guy's pictures. Another fellow and some kids arrived just after your partners. If the ships went down together…"

"Got it." Jet glanced at the net diver, "Ed…"

"On it!"

Faye rolled and fell off the tiny couch. With a cranky kick at the offensive sofa she grumped into the bedroom. "Stupid, cruddy, crap heap in the middle of nowhere." She glared at the quaint fireplace and large bed. Attempting a snarl that became a yawn she eased out of her clothes, flipped the covers back, reached for the ceiling in a back aligning stretch, then flopped on the bed, burrowed under the covers and returned to sleep.

She was frustrated, confused, tired and sick of playing a role. It just didn't make sense. One moment he was an obnoxious jerk-off, the next he's the doting obnoxious jerk-off. She grumped deeper into the bedding, squinting her eyes tight against the sneaky light filtering in under the blinds. She had proven her capability numerous times when the brill-o-headed cowboy had been laid up, why couldn't she do it now? She groaned, the past month flickering past. It had all started with that stinky psychopath. She buried her head, _Should've read the __**whole **__bio and passed._

Spike entered the cabin, silence meeting him at the door. He dropped the few items he'd snagged from his poor, mangled racer and scowled at the empty couch, based on the divots in the rug it had recently been moved. He grinned at the breadcrumbs consisting of shoes, socks, sweater and dress. He followed the trail that ended beside the bed, the expression grew to highly amused when he found a bare foot and limp hand dangling from opposite sides, occasionally ticking to an unknown beat. Her head and body buried under a mass of covers, Spike grinned at the bizarre spectacle and sat on the bed. He chuckled when the exposed appendages sucked below the protective cotton just before a warning growl. "Go'way!"

"Get up, Faye."

"Mmmm sleeetin'!" She turned, yanking blankets with. "Get lost, Spike."

"We need to go over some," he scowled trying to come up with the proper expression. "We need to come up with a plan."

She sat upright, still wrapped safely in comforter and gave a half hearted blink. "Yeah, I know. We need to worry about Lihas. What you worried about?"

"I think he's got friends."

"Here?!"

Nod.

Scowl, "Crap. What do you think we should do?"

Shrug, "Keep up the role of newly eloped."

The covers tightened, "Shit. Why's it always me that gets stuck playing some odd ball role. Why can't Jet get snookered into some part?" She curled tighter, "Let him feel like the merchandise for once." She huffed, "That Annie chick was into him, why didn't he take her up on her offer?" She flopped back down.

"What? Why ask me?"

One end of the lump bounced, "You've known him the longest."

Spike glared at the Faye taco, "Look we need to be careful. Got it?" He frowned, "That kid hittin' on you recognized you, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"So that means we need to keep up this game." He crawled up the bed, "Play the role of newlyweds so we can nab the guys and get out of here."

She pinked slightly, "Maybe I'm sick of playing a fuckin' role." Her lip slipped out, "Why can't I just be me?"

"Because you haven't been the you I met since I became mobile again."

"How do you know?" The covers rose slightly in a shrug, "People change." The covers jostled, indicating she'd just folded her arms, "You did."

Blink.

"You come up with a plan?"

He scratched his stomach, "We wait and let them get closer to us."

"Crap. So I'm bait again."

"Actually we both are."

"Bull." She rubbed her eyes and glared at the clock, "Ergh. I'm going to go check out what's around." She scooted to the edge of the bed, "We'll need to know the layout, just in case." Spike watched from under his elbow- he'd seen the pile she'd left on her way into the bedroom and knew she couldn't be wearing much. She grinned, stretched towards the floor and snagged her abandoned dress. With no more exposed than her back, she slipped it over her head, standing she tugged it down and turned. She stepped closer, "You comin'?" He grinned, rolled to a standing slouch and followed her out the door.

He hooked his hand around hers, running a finger over the ring and ignoring the disproving snort, "We need to continue playing the happy newlyweds." He sang. She glanced at him, "Annette was already worried about your hasty exit earlier." He chuckled, "Suggested I take you on a date and hike to the pond. Then, I think she made a few calls to ISSP."

"You left that disturbing an impression, huh?" She snickered and tightened her grip, "I haven't been camping, hiking or swimming since I was a kid." She pulled a face, "Her plan's flawed anyway," more laughter, "You're not the squishy, hold hands take the girl out type." Her free bandaged fingers tapped her chin, "You're not an anything cute and fuzzy." Her lips pursed, "More the cold beer, stale pizza little talking lots of action type." She giggled, "Instead of flowers you keep the girl from getting shot, and instead of romantic walks, she rides shotgun on a high speed chase."

"Huh. Who says I'm not the romantic bring flowers type?"

She rolled her eyes, "It's painfully evident, Spike." She shrugged, "I think you used up that part of you long ago." Her hand relaxed and slipped from his loose grasp.

"I was holding your hand."

Her eyebrow rose, "Not by choice."

He shrugged, "So, what kind of action would you expect on a… er… date with me?"

"Eh…" he smiled at the pinking of her ears. "The… uh… get her nearly blown up, movie type of action? I thought I covered this already?"

"Why are you asking me? Besides," chuckle, "you're wrong." His pace increased, bringing him beside her, "You're no better. Let me guess, a date with you means a fancy dinner, flowers and jewelry. You're full of promises and a great flirt until the money runs out or the guy takes you home for a nightcap. Then you leave the poor bastard knocked out and tied to the bed."

"I don't tie them up or knock them out," she grinned, "I'd have to follow them to their room to do that. I prefer the 'eat and run' approach." Her hand flapped lazily as she continued down the narrow path. Spike stayed behind, watching as she absently plucked leaves or kicked stray pebbles. "Besides, that game was only to survive or catch a bounty. Haven't ever been on a **real** date since I came to; been too busy trying to get food and money to worry about dates." Her pace slowed, "Hey, Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"How long are you goin' to keep the act up?"

He studied her back, _What act?_ But kept silent.

She sighed, "Just curious."


	29. Chapter 29

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Some meddling camp owners.

Chapter 29: Deliverance (Queensryche)

Faye rolled, her hand smacking something warm. It grunted, clasped her wrist and refused to let go. "Come on Spike, return my hand."

"Crossed the line, Faye. It's mine now."

She frowned, "Not funny." She tugged, dragging Spike closer to the center of the bed. "Give." Tug. "Me." Jerk. "My hand." Yank. "Back!"

"No." He rolled, taking her with him. "You insisted I respect the center of the bed, I've a bruise on my left shin to prove it. You crossed the line, deal with the consequences." He grinned, "This was your game, follow through."

"SPIKE!" She kneed his back leverage, "Knock it off!"

"That was my tailbone Faye, do you mind? I'm trying to sleep."

"Not overly. Let me go." He grinned and rolled, facing her. His teeth peeked through when she 'eeped' and attempted to scoot away. Flinging his free hand around her waist he tugged her close, released her hand and held fast. "Uh…"

"Just keepin' in character, Faye."

"Ass…" she curled tighter around his arm, "I'm sick of the character bullshit." Spike released. He'd obviously pushed the game too far. He rolled onto his back, glaring at the ceiling.

She sighed, and rolled towards him. A small smirk tugging at her lips, "You going to keep this girl safe from flying bullets tomorrow?" She giggled as she wiggled below the blankets, "If so, that means we're on a date. Right, Lunkhead?"

He grinned, following, "Depends. Am I gonna end up broke and tied to a bed post?"

"You're already broke, there'd be no point trying to rob you blind." She tugged at the bedding, "I already took your money card." She yawned again, "'Sides if memory serves **me** correctly," she scratched her nose, "You're the one that likes to tie folks into their beds. I just leave them wanting at the table." Her giggling slowed, replaced by her soft breathing. She mumbled something about being a nice, cheap date for men she liked before sleep took control. Spike studied the rise and fall of her shoulders. She looked so peaceful. After he was certain she wouldn't wake, he shifted closer and wrapped her in a loose embrace. He chuckled at the familiar citrusy scent, "I wouldn't mind a cheap date either." Not thinking he kissed her shoulder softly as he drifted off.

Ed bobbed nervously from foot to foot. They had limped along with electrical issues since dropping off the weepy Jeff. Annette and George hadn't sent an update. Giving up on his protective instincts he settled for checking in. He glared at the black screen. Beep one. Beep two. Beep… "Huh?" George grinned. "Hey Jet." A playful smirk tugging at his lips. "Those two seem to be getting along." Annette laughed, "That's because you put them in a one bed, one bath cabin!"

"Huh?" He glanced over his shoulder, "Yup. He looked like the type that'd refuse to sleep in the tub." Grin. "There should be a compromise."

Jet snorted. He sobered, "Have you seen any more college kids?"

"Just those characters that came in shortly after your partners." Chuckle, "I caught those two checkin' for an escape route yesterday." He rubbed his head, "if things get nasty they should head for the crater on the opposite side of this rock.

Jet nodded. _He'll send Faye._ He kept his assumptions to himself, "How far from there?"

"Hmm…" brows furrowed in thought, "not sure."

"Great." Chin scratch, "How'll I know they're there?"

He smiled, "That kid workin' for ya still got 'em bugged. I picked up the faint signal when they wandered in."

"Uh… yeah." Jet glanced at Ed, "Where's Faye's?"

"Necklace."

"Spike?"

Ed grinned, "Shoe."

Shrug. "There ya go." With a yawn George disconnected. Leaving Jet to smirk at the black screen.

Faye stirred, Spike had already left. _Probably stuffing his face again._ She groaned and rolled from under her cocoon of cotton. Padding to the bathroom, she missed the fact Spike's shoes were still by the bed. Hoping to wash away her grogginess she slipped behind the curtain and under the warm mist. It had been a long, uncomfortable night. After retrieving her hand at the cost of Spike spooning her playfully, she had spent the rest of her time sleeping curled in a protective ball too afraid to cross her chosen line of separation. She grinned at the silly antics of the night before. She couldn't blame Spike, not that she wouldn't try, he was only following **her** orders. She paused in her lather, the faintest feeling he'd crossed the line niggling the back of her brain.

At the sound of running water, Spike sat up from his position on the couch and slunk into the room. His gaze fell on the simple ring and with a scowl he slipped his own over his knuckles, glaring at the familiar unfamiliarity. With a yawn he lay on the bed and closed his eyes. He'd spent a good share of the evening fighting his urge to do more than cross the center line. When he'd woken this morning with his arm flopped comfortably over Faye's waist he'd escaped to the small couch. The shower cut off. He watched the door open. A towel clad, dripping Faye slipped out to rummage through the clothes. Outfit chosen, she turned towards the bed and froze.

"Mornin' Faye." He waved.

She blinked. Obviously stuck in shock.

"You mind getting' dressed, I'd like to get some food before they start serving lunch."

"When… why… how…" she pinked, clutched the towel closer and stomped towards the bathroom door. He yawned.

"Warn a girl next time, Lunkhead!" He grinned at the violently slammed barrier and jerked the covers over his shoulder trying to doze off. He shifted slightly and repressed a smirk when a fully dressed, flushed, slightly damp Faye stormed from the adjoining room. He sat up and glanced at her bare hand, "You're forgetting' your wedding ring."

"Huh?"

He lifted his left hand and wiggled his fingers.

"Oh." She spun, retrieved the simple piece off the dresser and returned, "Happy?"

Shrug. "Gotta keep playin' the part until Jet gets us and we can take out Lihas and any of his crew."

"Pff… If I didn't know better, I'd say you were getting' a kick out of this… this charade."

He shrugged. She stilled, staring at the red head from before. Following her line of sight he frowned, "Well, our vacation just got interesting."

Her eyebrow quirked, "Good." Green slanted his way, "Is **she** why you insist we keep up this game?"

"Well if it isn't the newlyweds!" Cheered George from the kitchen.

Annette sidled over, "Good morning you two!" She gave Spike a knowing smile.

He grinned back, _If she only knew the truth._ Faye catching the look gave a small cough, which Annette took as embarrassment.

She patted the younger woman's arm, "It's ok dear. Once you two have kids none of this will ever embarrass you again." Faye nodded, her cheeks pinking. Annette laughed kindly and ushered the two towards the table, insisting they sit together. "There you go!" She beamed, "Oh! Did you two notice the comet last night?"

"Them two probably didn't notice much of nothin' Mother. Look at 'em."

Faye's blush darkened. Spike simply pulled a smoke from his pocket. He played with it absently while Annette lectured her mouthy spouse. "George! You knock that off. You're embarrassing the poor girl."

The redhead slid close, followed by the student from the day before, "Congratulations." She squealed at Faye. "I told you to go after the hot guy at the club." She blushed at Spike, "He was so nice to me, I… I didn't know you two were an item or I would've never…"

Faye grinned, unable to place the girl, "No worries." She glanced at her partner, "We like to play games. Keeps things interesting, you know?"

She nodded.

Annette smiled, "You two remind us of when we were young." Dusting her hands off she perked, "Now! What do you two want for breakfast?"

Faye smiled, "Whatever."

Spike bobbed his head towards the girl, "…"

"Oh. It's Angie." She fiddled with her fingers, "I don't blame you for not remembering." Spike scowled, he couldn't recall her introducing herself, just that he'd blown her off. She smiled, "I took your suggestion." He grinned, Faye stared at him, "It helped a lot. Thanks." She leaned over and placed a shy kiss on Spike's cheek.

He coughed, "Not a problem." Faye closed her mouth but continued staring.

The man across from Faye cleared his throat. He took her hand and smiled, "My girl. You look much nicer like this. Though I must admit, your husband and most the males here liked the secretary outfit from the club." Spike felt Faye shift nervously. Not thinking he placed a restraining hand on her thigh. The man caught the gesture and painful reddening, "Boys couldn't keep their eyes off you." Annette dropped mugs in front of the foursome. He released her hand and took a languid sip. "Watched you like a hawk. Just like my seller did." His lip curled, "Speaking of which, have you seen him recently?"

Spike grinned and shook his head

Faye frowned, "Who are you talking about?"

"Too bad." Another sip. "He'll be interested in this latest turn in events." The man leaned closer, "Kevin doesn't like to be toyed with."

Spike frowned, "Not sure I know who you're talkin' about."

"Bull."

Annette rushed over with a pile of pancakes, "Oh my." She locked eyes with Spike and pretended to speak to herself, "I forgot to thank Bob for clearing up some confusion last night." She sighed, dropping the heaping plate with a soft clink. "I can't believe I misread the situation so poorly. Jet was a sweetheart and cleared things up." She brightened, "Oh. I'll get you a picnic lunch set up." She winked at Spike, "You two need some alone time."

The man shot Spike a challenging smirk, "Yes, perhaps a little alone time with that hottie wife of yours is exactly what we need." Faye gave a stiff smile. He glared at Faye and hissed, "You want some real fun, like chubby here?" Faye choked, receiving a triumphant grin from the man.

Annette glanced her way, "Oh dear, take smaller bites."

She swallowed past the blockage, "It's just so tasty." Nervous titter, "And I'm so hungry." Spike's hand tensed on her thigh. She glanced his way. "Well I wouldn't be if," blush, "Someone hadn't kept me up all night."

Annette smiled, George let out a whoop, the unnamed man's head cocked to the side, and Spike had the decency to look a tad embarrassed. He focused on her solely, the perfect image of twitter-pated adoration. He leaned close. She blinked but remained rooted. Chuckle, "Then don't tempt me." He grinned when the dark pink turned nearly purple while she sputtered and looked everywhere but those around the table. He tipped closer, appearing to kiss her cheek, "Be careful, Faye. Lihas is nearby." She turned towards him, as he pulled away eliciting more hooting from the background. Annette clucked playfully. Angie and her acquaintance remained still, studying the two. The man stood, gave a polite bob and a friendly wink towards Faye, "Better go finish my breakfast in the cabin. All this cute, lovey-dovey stuff will turn me off it."

Annette shook her head and hissed, "Cretin."

Wolfe glared at the pair in the window from his perch on the steps. Lihas snarled, "You think they're really a couple?"

"No." The second man replied.

Angie sighed, "Don't they make a nice couple, Kevin?"

He rolled his eyes at the love struck red-head. She was a cover anyway, he turned towards his latest partner, "How can you tell?"

"Watch. The cowboy's only overtly romantic when he thinks someone's watching and the girl's so nervous she can hardly sit still." The partner nodded, still watching the pair. He shrugged, "I may be wrong though. They just don't act like any of the newly married or even engaged couples I see on campus."

"Me neither."

"I think they just know each other really well and fell in love," sighed Angie.

One of the men snorted, "Fuck."

Jet dug at his head. The faulty wiring had finally sputtered out. He hit the panel, "Shit!" Unsure what to do, he stalked toward the main part of the Bebop to find Ed and the dog. "Ed. ED!!" She sat up from her choice napping spot in the hall. He glared at the glassy eyed teen. "Ed." Blink. "Go find Ein. We're takin' the Hammerhead to Pandora."

"Why?"

He scowled, "Cause the electrical you felt needed dissecting is the same panel Faye smashed up parking the Swordfish. Damn thing's gone tits up."

She produced a strange snort, "Pcckkkkff," before composing herself enough to point and scream, "Papa Jet said, 'tits'!" He scrubbed at his forehead when she scampered of squealing, "Tits, bits, Faye-Faye's 'fraid of zits. Spike says shit…"

"EDWARD! LANGUAGE!"

She paused long enough to pull a face before dashing off to complete her assigned task.

Jet glared down the darkened hallway bathed in sporadic red, "Why the hell can Spike say those things but I can't?"

Ed reappeared, Ein clutched tightly to her chest, "Because Spike person is not a grown-up like Papa Jet." Her head bounced in a sage nod.

Jet rolled his eyes and steered towards the hangar, "Why can Faye say them then?"

"Faye does not say," twitter, "tits." She adjusted her hold on the pooch, Jet just noticing Tomato was also crammed within her grasp. "Faye-Faye doesn't talk about such things and she thumps Spike on the head for saying them." She grinned attempting her best Faye impersonation, "Oi! Lunkhead!" She stood taller, "There's a kid listening' and a lady present. How 'bout you watch your mouth?!" She blinked shifting out of character, "Then Spike-person says…" she slouched her gait closely resembling the carefree strut of Spike. She turned her head left and right, "What lady, Faye? All I see here is an underage psycho, a shrew and the dog." Shift back, "Then Faye…"

Jet sighed, wishing he'd kept his mouth shut, "I get it Ed. Thanks."

"Wellllllll-commmmmme!"

Spike removed his loose hold on Faye's leg. She shifted closer, "We're still being watched."

He nodded, "Probably trying to decide if we're for real or faking."

"Anyone that bothers to look should be able to tell."

"Really? Why?"

She pulled away slightly, "You only act like we're married when you think there's an audience."

He slid closer, "I could play the part all the time but you freak out enough as it is."

She eased back, "Or not." She scowled, forgetting his proximity, she tilted closer, "Why don't you just be you and quit all the bullshit?"

"What bullshit, Faye?"

She pinked, "This is just some sick, fucked up game to you isn't it?"

"You don't like playing games?" His hand snaked around her waist, "I've seen you eyeballing' that chunk of glass. You like the idea, don't you?"  
Her eyes widened before narrowing, "Doesn't matter one way or the other, what I think." She snorted and tried to inch away, "You're gonna do whatever the hell you want anyway."

"So are you."

"Wrong." She hissed, "I haven't done a damn thing just for me since Ed came back." She stabbed his chest with an index finger, "I found her, helped pull her back together. Helped Jet deal with the fact she'd been hurt and that his partner was floating off the radar. Found said partner,"

"Give me a break, Faye. You wanted to find me."

She growled, "Only because I didn't want a comrade rotting in some shithole hospital on Mars." She stiffened slightly, "You forget, bozo, I stayed in one for quite a while." She rubbed her arms absently, "I know what kind of crap they pull on defenseless people."

"Who said I'd need defending?"

"I SAW THE MESS YOU LEFT BEHIND, LUNKHEAD!!" She removed his hand, "Or do you forget who picked up that rust bucket of yours?" She stilled and glanced around the space. Yup. Her outburst had caught the attention of everyone in the building. Annette and George stepped out of the kitchen, soap suds still clinging to their hands.

He grinned, "Now you've an audience Faye, you goin' to keep this rant up?"

She began blinking furiously, her mouth clicking shut with a near audible snap. Between gritted teeth she spat, "I should've let you rot in that hospital. Would've saved me a hell of a lot of grief." Standing, she left with whatever shreds of dignity she could clutch.

Spike watched her go before glancing at the audience. He rubbed his neck, peeked out the window and shrugged, "Guess she's still a bit miffed I went to a strip club before we were married."

Annette shot George a knowing look before he snorted, "Why'd you bring it up on your honeymoon?"

Spike toyed with his unlit smoke, stalling, "I… uh…

George nodded his head in sympathy, "Better calm her down, 'fore you get home, boy."

Annette nodded emphatically, "Yes. Don't let her go to bed angry." She glanced at the cabin up the hill, "That's no way to spend the first week of your marriage."

Spike grinned and meandered out the door. Lihas's associate snorted from his observatory seat, as Spike drifted by. "You're game's slippin' cowboy." The stepped screamed as he stood. "Why you really here?"

Spike shrugged, "Just spending a few days out camping' with my wife while the family settles over our marriage."

The partner shooed Angie away, "Go make sure that girl's ok." He waited for her to disappear in the foliage before turning to Spike, his lip curled, "Why ya really here, punk?"

"You've got more balls then your idiot partner, don't ya…" he frowned trying to remember where he'd seen the man before.

The bounty snarled, "Knock it off. Jeff did his time, now he's back. Lihas is pissed you're alive. There's no way a chick like that would give you the time of day. So why you playin' like she does?"

Spike stood, placing his mangled smoke between his lips, "Believe it or not," he pulled out his lighter, "She does and I don't care why." With a flash of silver and a few puffs he left the man sputtering.

Annette watched Spike drift out the diner doors after his 'wife'. He didn't appear too upset. George shrugged, "Maybe this is the norm."

She shook her head, "That girl was upset. Anyone with eyes could see that."

"She was lyin' too." George sighed, "Go make them a lunch. My money's on him going back to the cabin." She nodded. "I'll take it to him and fill him in who we are."

"I don't think he caught my mentioning Bob or Jet."

"Probably not." George chuckled, "He was too busy trying to keep that red-head and her fella away."

"Not the most subtle, is he?"

"Nope."

"Too bad she can't see that."

"Yup."

Spike stared into the empty cabin. Faye had gone off to deal with whatever demons were stirred up in the diner. He settled on the steps, lighting his third smoke. He watched as the older man trudged towards the tiny cabin.

"Hey boy." Spike nodded and flicked the ash from his light, "You'd better go find that girl."

He shrugged, "She's an adult."

George chuckled, "I've heard that line before." He settled next to the cowboy, "You know you should take more stock in her reactions and her safety."

Spike snorted, "She's either nervous or bitchy."

"Bullshit." George passed him a bag, "Why not take her on a nice quiet walk and let her see you've dropped the act."

"Excuse me?"

"The wife and I know Bob…" he grinned, "and Jet." Spike studied the old man from the corner of his eye. "Relax cowboy. I'm retired ISSP."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Eh…" he rubbed his hands together, "No and me telling' you I was one of the good ones isn't goin' to make you trust me." He stood, "Here's the deal. Anyone with eyes can tell you've got a thing for that girl." He chuckled, "Ok 'cept maybe her." He took a step away, "Anne's willin' to help you, but you gotta start treatin' that young lady and her feelings like she deserves." He scowled, "Shit. Just spend some time with her when it's obvious you aren't playing whatever role you two got yourselves stuck in. She'll appreciate the effort."

He stopped at Spike's voice, "How's this your business?" A spent filter flipped nearby his feet, "And why help me, **if** I want it?"

He turned, "Because from what I can tell she's a nice girl and thinks the universe of you." He snorted, "Show you're interested in her and quit the act." He resumed his slow pace back, "Everyone can tell the difference. 'Cept maybe the googly eyed redhead, but I think she's," tapped his head, "a bit touched." Snort, "Even that creepy man hidin' out in the nearby cabin knows you're fakin'."

"Who? How?"

"Kid thinks he's a regular genius. Doesn't know Mom and I've got good ears for old folks." He shuffled further away, "Get it together boy. You're just confusin' the poor thing, why do you think she's so antsy around you? She can't tell what's true and what's fake and you keep shiftin' gears too fast for her to follow."

Spike watched him go, before studying the paper bag. _Huh?_ He snickered and dug out another smoke. He wasn't the dating type from what Faye had concluded. In fact, neither was she. He grimaced; he may need a few pointers. With a groan he trailed the older man. He appeared to have some knowledge and if not there was the old woman and the chubby chick.

George grinned; he knew the cowboy would follow.


	30. Chapter 30

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Angsty pregame issues.

Chapter 30: Symbiosis (Jed Davis)

Faye glared at the warm spring, trying to decide if she could swim in it or not. Rustling stilled her internal debate. "Uh… hey." Came the whisper of the redhead. She eased next to Faye. "You're boyfriend, husband, whatever seemed pretty upset about you leaving." She sat down when Faye didn't appear to mind her presence. "Do you mind me asking what's wrong?"

Faye sighed, the girl meant well. She shrugged.

Angie shifted, "He seems real nice and very into you." She coughed, "I know I'm not much, but I tried to pick him up at that club Jeff took us to."

Faye glanced at her, waiting.

"Anyway, he uh… wouldn't stop watching you."

Faye snorted, _That's 'cause I was supposed to draw in a hefty bounty head and he didn't trust me._

Angie continued, "He gave me some pretty good advice." She shrugged and blushed.

Faye grumped, "That's Spike, a real advice columnist." She stabbed a stray stick into the pool's edge, "Maybe he should change professions."

"You don't have to be snippy. I just came out here to see if you're ok."

Faye turned towards the suddenly nervous girl, "Ok?" She snarled, "I'm fuckin' peachy." She chucked a rock in the water, "I'm a replacement. The means to a fuckin' end. A toy to play with until it's broken or boring." She gave a rough snicker, "You know what the worst part is? I want the guy stuck on another girl." She glared at the water, "When he's pretending to be my boyfriend, husband, whatever he imagines her in my place." Shift, "It's sad really. She and I have nothing in common; she was one of those dangerous beauties that a guy falls for fast and hard. An angel from… from the underworld."

Angie twitched. "W…was?"

"She was cool, collected and near perfection." A sad smile ripped across her face, "She had her own gravitational pull. I met her once and even I found myself wishing I could be like her." She snorted, "I'm klutzy, loud and a complete tomboy. He hates tomboys." She sighed, "I get noticed because I dress like a tramp and know how to bat my lashes and swing my ass." She dug up some more rocks. "It'd be nice to be seen as something other than a perky boobs attached to a decent pair of legs." She glanced at the red-head, "You know, be someone who isn't what's available and looks easy?"

Angie studied her, "How can you think that?"

"What?" she shrugged, "The truth?"

"No. That you're just what's available." She scowled, "I saw how everyone acted around you at the club and school." She glared at the water, "You weren't even trying and everyone was interested." She studied Faye carefully, "You've got that mysterious pull thingy too." She grinned sadly, "You just don't realize it." Her head cocked to the side, "Trust me, I'm the invisible one. I play the role of what's available." She shrugged, "I wouldn't be here if Kevin and Wolfe could catch a girl like you." She sighed and grinned, "Jeff was supposed to keep me company but he was busted for narcotics again. Idiot." She glanced at the bounty hunter, "You don't seem bad. Definitely not bad thing." Her head tipped sideways, "A fallen angel maybe."

Faye scoffed.

"I don't care what you say," she folded her arms, "That dishy, skinny guy's interested. Especially if what Wolfe said is true."

"Who's Wolfe?"

"Oh. He's that guy with Kevin and me." Angie smiled, "He said he was going to hit on you the other day, but your uh… whatever he is came and interrupted him."

Faye giggled, "I'd forgotten he was even there."

"Oh. That'd piss him off royal." She giggled, "He thinks he's Mr. Super Woman Magnet or some junk." She continued grinning, "Anyway, Wolfe said your uh… boyfriend showed up, got all possessive and stuff."

Faye laughed.

"It's true!! I believe him too!" She smiled, "I hung around the club long enough to watch him chase away all the guys tryin' to dance with you. It was hysterical." She shook her head, "You should have seen how he ignored all the girls grabbin' him too! It was like no one but you existed."

_More like the bounty behind me._

"Hey. Have you two been on any dates?"

"Not really, why?"

"Oh, just curious." She sighed, "What's he kiss like?"

"Excuse me?"

Spike slunk into the office. Annette grinned and waved him close. George materializing beside her. "So you've come for some help, aye boy?"

"Somethin' like that."

Annette nodded, "First off, quit with the teasin'."

George's head bobbed in agreement. "You only make a move of you plan on following through."

"I have been."

"Bullshit, kid." George scowled, "From what little I could get from that cute kid living' with you two you've been pretty hot and cold towards the poor thing."

Annette nodded, "If what that sweet, little girl said is true, you were a wonderful suitor then, poof, she has to stay at arm's length."

"Whoa. You've been in contact with the Bebop?"

They glanced at each other and nodded. Spike scowled. George grinned, "No. You can't use it." He dropped some images on the counter, "The kid sent the club pictures," he shook his head, "How do you keep all that pent up?" He snickered, "I would've popped a nut." Annette swatted his arm. "What?" He grinned, "No one acts that well with someone they don't give a shit about, boy." He rubbed his chin, "Well, unless they've got one hell of an imagination and I doubt you fall in that category. And the chances of you **both** able to imagine someone else that well is total bullshit."

Annette nodded, "Suck it up and treat her nice like you did at the school." She rapped his head with her knuckle. Spike grinned and rubbed his abused forehead. Annette disappeared, returning with another bag. "Take this with you, from what I've heard she wandered towards the spring."

George nodded and dropped some towels on top, "That goofy red head followed her." He grinned, "She won't hang around long, especially if you show up intent to follow through."

"Which you are!"

Spike just grinned, he didn't do romance, but he could follow through. George nodded, "Just don't choke kid and don't worry Annette and I'll keep the unwanted rabble out of the way."

Faye rolled her eyes and eyeballed the water again. It looked like a giant tub. Angie was still babbling about the perfection that wasn't Spike. Sick of the incessant thrum of chatter Faye smiled, "Hey. Do you mind heading back?" Angie stilled and twitched. Faye pressed the nice girl routine, "I just want to be alone for a bit, you know? I need to process and calm down. You know post wedding jitters that crap."

She nodded.

Faye smiled, "Thanks." Heading away, Angie glanced back in time to see Faye tug off her shoes. With a smile and a plan to tell the skinny guy to pop in she hurried back towards the cabins. She grinned when she saw her intended target wandering up the path, a rumpled cigarette dangling from his lips. Her plans forgotten, she scowled and blocked his way, "You need to be nicer to her and quit thinking about…" she scowled, trying to remember exactly what Faye had said, "that dangerously gorgeous girl from your past. The angel from the underworld or whatever." She marched closer, "Especially if you're with her," she jerked her thumb back to the spring, "now."

"Not that what I do is any of your business." Spike repressed the urge to groan, "I think someone has misread **my** intentions."

The redhead blinked, "What?"

Spike shrugged, "Why don't you let me deal with this." He glanced at her, "I think that bossy fellow…"

"Wolfe or Kevin?"

"Eh… Wolfe is lookin' for you."

"Really?!"

"Yeah, sure." He watched her disappear before heading in the opposite direction. _What's with everyone digging in my business lately?_

Faye grinned and shimmied out of her skirt. She hadn't been swimming outside for fun since she was a little girl at the springs with her folks. Her head tipped sideways, did this even count as a spring? Not caring she hopped in happy to be alone and away from pervy college boys, nosy old people, opinionated redheads and confusing Spikes. Splashing happily she dipped below the surface before finding a place to perch and soak. She studied the scrubby growth surrounding the place- it really wasn't as ugly as she previously thought. She sighed, trying to remove all the insecurities that popped up whenever Spike would pull his doting suitor act. _Maybe Angie was right._ She snickered at the other woman's indignant rant. Faye had never considered herself threatening physically. Her philosophy had become: If in doubt broadcast, well… everything. She knew she was attractive in a vulgar kind of way, but to hear that girl ramble on she'd have to believe she was a hard to miss temptress. She laughed and submerged, kicking off her perch and paddling across the space.

Spike broke through into the clearing, just catching the happy giggle and rhythmic splashing. He stilled, deciding to wait before creeping closer. She popped up, smiled, took a deep breath and disappeared below the softly tinted water. He eased towards her pile of discarded clothing and settled at the edge of the pool. She appeared nearby, sputtering. With a giggle she dipped below the surface to repeat her trek across the small space. He watched, just noting she had worn a suit. _So she planned on swimming. Huh. _She reappeared on the far edge, spun and froze.

"What are you doing here?!"

He grinned, "I was told we should have a real date."

She glanced around.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for flying bullets." She pulled a face, wiping stray droplets off her chin, "Maybe I want to be alone."

"Do you?"

She ignored his question and turned scowling, "Aren't you supposed to ask the girl if she wants to go out?"

He shrugged, "Not an expert on this…" he pulled a face, "romance bullshit."

She grinned and disappeared below the surface, emerging nearby. "Is this more acting?"

Scowl, "No." He tugged off his jacket. She remained still, studying his every movement. He grinned, "Numerous people have told me that I send mixed signals."

She frowned and inched closer. "Who?"

"Jet's yelled it at me a few times. George and Annette gave me a nice long lecture. Ed's tried in her subtle way…" he smirked at her funny grin, "And a chubby redhead accused me of thinking about a dangerous someone or other." Her progress stilled and she edged back. Spike tugged his shirt over his head. "Why's everyone think I'm stuck?"

She stumbled into a deeper section, disappearing. Spike grinned and waited for her to reappear. She popped out, sputtering and swiping at her face. His eyebrow rose, waiting. Her convulsions stilled. She blinked and smiled sheepishly, "Uh…"

He undid his belt and kicked off his shoes, "Why Faye?"

"Uh…" he grinned when her eyes followed his hands. She blushed and turned away, "She just seems like a woman that would be hard not to forget." Shrug. "Perfection, or near to it."

"And so that's why I'm frozen, as Ed so kindly puts it?"

She stilled when ripples made their way to her. "You… you went and blew yourself up to find out if you were alive. You came back half dead and you haven't been the same since." She shrugged, dipped below the surface and glided away. She appeared across the pool and watched him. "You've been a moody mope since you healed up." She grinned, "The most interest you've shown in anything is in making my life hell with all those stupid pranks." She grinned, "I won by the way."

He dunked below the surface. Faye tensed preparing for the worse. He came back up in the same spot and shrugged, "Maybe I was just having' fun for once." Grin, "And I have a sinking suspicion this'll end up a tie."

Her eyes drifted to the scar across his abdomen. She bit her lip and shook her head, "I guess I can't understand. And be careful, those stitches shouldn't get submerged."

He ignored her warning and sat on her previous perch, "Why?" he grinned, "Aren't you constantly drudging up stuff most of us would have long forgotten?"

She shifted, "That's because I don't get a choice, and I can't control when something triggers a memory. Besides, it's not like I run off hell bent on fixing whatever shows up." She grinned, "I'm more interested in the here and now, maybe tomorrow. Yesterday, just doesn't matter as much."

Spike leaned back, "Jet says when I left a lot of stuff came back."

She nodded, her head lowering towards the water. "What changed?"

He grinned, "My past is dead and gone." Shrug, "After being laid up so long I guess I decided it was easier to live in the now…"

She giggled, "Too bad your now consists of a shrew, obsessive compulsive, a psychotic and a dog." She disappeared under the surface. Taking that as his cue, Spike submerged and kicked towards her. She stood and swiped at her face, "Poor Spiky." She scowled at the lack of a response and glanced at his previous location. She bit her lip, "Spike?" She noted his pile of clothes, undisturbed. She scanned the water, no tell-tale ripples. "Spike!" She turned looking around the perimeter of the pool for evidence that he had slipped out. She drifted towards the edge and studied the forest, "SPIKE!" She spun at a splash, Spike inches from her face. He grinned, pinning her. "I don't really mind the psychotic, obsessive compulsive or the mutt." The space between them shrank, "The woman on the other hand drives me nuts."

She swallowed and squeaked, "The… the shrew? Why?" Forcing herself to not think of this as anything more than acting.

He grinned, forcing her to back into the pool wall. His eyebrow rose, "Because she's a confusing riddle. A complete bitch, ice cold with glimpses of a warm human being underneath." Her hands floated to his chest in an attempt to keep him from advancing closer. "I can piss her off and still count on her when the chips are down." He moved closer, noses touching. "You know what, Faye?" She blinked. "This last stunt of Jet's really pissed me off." She blinked again, not following. "I had to do all the stuff I've been avoiding since I started collecting bounties again." Numb nod. He grinned, "And then you end up being the one thing I swore you were incapable of being." He floated back, grinning when she followed, hands still on his chest. "You're a likeable tomboy."

"Huh?"

He herded her back towards the perimeter, "How's it feel to prove me wrong?" Blink. Deciding there was too much of him talking he pressed against her. Arms wrapped around her he tugged her close.

She gasped and nervously glanced at him. "What…"

"Faye." She blinked. "Shut up." Her eyes fluttered closed, arms sliding up to his shoulders. He didn't wait for more of an invitation, pressing tight, his mouth against hers. She hummed softly, her fingers slipping into his hair. His hands slid down her waist, past her hips, and hooked under her thighs pulling her up and wrapping her legs around him. She gasped at the change of positions and the sudden and obvious proof he wasn't acting. He grinned and pressed tighter, "I've been telling you I wasn't acting." Her grip on his head tightened. She bit his lip, "Spike. Shut up."

He returned the favor, "I told you one free…" she silenced him. One hand untangling and floating across his chest. He placed her on the lip of the pool, following closely behind. Easing up onto her elbows she licked a stray trail of water from collar bone to ear. He pulled a face, she giggled and latched onto his earlobe. Not to be outdone, Spike's fingers traced their own path over her damp skin. She shivered slightly when his hand splayed across her stomach. She arched into his touch, another soft moan slipping out. He grinned, only to try and repress his own as he pressed into her hand as it copied his and slid lower. He hissed, "That's cheatin', Faye."

She grinned, her hand still in place, "Didn't know there were any rules, Cowboy." She squeezed gently.

His head settled in the crook of her neck, breathing slightly stressed. "Should be."

She giggled, until his hand moved up and under her top. His second sliding behind her and towards her hips, he settled above her.


	31. Chapter 31

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Ed disturbs the peace.

Chapter 31: Connection (Elastica)

Jet scowled at Ed's readout. Now that they were closer she could trace the bugs. According to the trackers, Faye and Spike were away from the campsite. He scowled, "Dammit."

Ed tipped around Tomato to study him. "What is it?"

"What are they doin' out there?"

She shrugged, "Call grandpa man. Maybe he knows. He's sneaky." Ed glanced at the blue and pink blips nearly on top of each other. She touched the screen, "This says Faye-Faye and Spike-person are in the same square foot of each other."

"How could they be so close?"

Ed's jaw unhinged, "Ed has to explain **THAT** to Papa Jet?!"

He blinked, "No. NO! I get it Ed." He punched in George and Annette's business line.

"Pandora Campground." Came the familiar voice with a pile of gray hair.

"Annette…"

"Jet!"

He smiled, "Have you seen my two feuding partners?"

George snorted over her shoulder, "They're at the pool, makin' up for lost time."

Annette gasped and turned, "How do you know?!"

"Surveillance cameras, dear."

She peeked over his shoulder, gasped and returned her focus on Jet, "George. Turn that off and give those two some privacy!"

Ed yelped, "AHA!" She stood to dance, "They are sharing a square foot!!"

"Ok Ed." He glared over his control panel into the space beyond, "Go check on Ein."

She frowned and disappeared.

"How's the bounty fairing. He suspicious?"

Annette nodded. George made a strange groan. She turned, "George, dear?"

"Yeah?"

"Turn that off or I'll tell both of them you were watching their first time."

He snorted, "This isn't their first time. That was hours…"

Jet chuckled at the loud smack and pained groan. "The kid's a little antsy. Thinks Spike and Faye are up to something."

George snickered, "Well, something's up."

She shook her head, "There's another fellow in the cabin with them. He's creepy, sticks to himself. Oh! And a chubby redhead's been buddying up to Faye."

George appeared on screen, "All three seem to know Faye from school or some club."

Jet grinned, it amazed him how quickly those two could remember names and stray facts from conversation. "So they're the kids that made contact initially."

Annette nodded, "One's name is Wolfe. He's seen Spike and Faye together before. The other's name is Kevin."

Jet's head bounced, "Kevin's the one to worry about."

"Wolfe is the front man." George grinned, "I think he has a customer that is not happy. Kid's been quite cranky."

Another nod.

"Anyway, the guy's lookin' for a new supplier."

Annette smiled, "Probably trying to hide out as well. He doesn't seem smart enough to make safe deals."

Jet grinned, "Good. Ed and I will float in. Remove the two men, send the girl home and get out of there with Spike and Faye."

Ed bounced back into the room, singing. "Spike-person and Faye-Faye kissin' by the pool. Catchin' bounties she met at school. Papa Jet thinks they're crazy, Edward wonders why it took Lunkhead Spike so long to quit bein' shy!"

Jet rolled his eyes, "Spike's never been shy."

She paused, her foot hovering over the floor. "Ed knows but she couldn't think of something to rhyme with why." She plopped in the co-pilot's chair and swiveled quietly. "Oh! Try. That's better."

Jet refocused on the screen, "We'll be there soon. Can the kid and I get a cabin?"

"Sure Jet." Annette smiled, "I'd love to hear what you've been up to."

George nodded, "Damn punk fell off the radar."

Jet scratched his chin, "We'll be there soon." With a nod he disconnected.

Spike sat up and dug out a sandwich, Faye still curled comfortably on one of the many towels. She sighed softly and rolled over, her shoulder slipping out of the make shift blankets. He tugged his pants back on and settled down to wait for her to wake. He grinned and studied the domed sky, sandwich half way to his mouth. He paused, searching for the source of the familiar hum. He grinned at the Hammerhead slowly edging across the expanse. Faye stirred and sat up. Glaring at the offensive noise she yelped and began scrambling for clothes. Spike scowled at the frenzied pace. "What are you doing?"

"If that's Jet, Ed's with him and you know she won't waste a second sniffing us out once he lands."

Spike chuckled, "I'm sure she's already figured out what we've been doing." He pointed to a camera overlooking the pool and waved.

Faye missed it, too busy tugging a sock on, "I'm sure. Damn kid's probably got bugs on both of us. That doesn't mean I want her running in here to you…" she glanced at him, "half naked and me sprawled across the forest floor with a smug smirk."

"Smug huh?"

"Shut up." She blushed and tossed his shirt at his head, "Get dressed." She began tugging her shoes on, her hair in a sloppy pony tail.

Ed waited for the engines to begin winding down before she launched from the Hammerhead's confines and sprinted towards the forest. Jet barely catching her squeal, "Faye-Faye!!!" Her wiggly arms flopping bizarrely out to the side as her feet propelled her towards her favorite cowgirl. He chuckled. Ed continued to chant, "Faye-FAYE!! Ed knows what you did! Ed knows, Faye-Faye!!"

"Poor girl." He shook his head and made his way into the registration office. He smiled at the familiar desk clerk. "Hello. Jet Black checkin' in," he glanced at the forest then into the lobby at the curious man and redheaded girl. He rubbed his neck, "Sorry the kid and dog ran off to find Faye." He grinned, "She just adores her."

George smiled, "So you're the brother, huh?"

Jet nodded. "Yeah. I came to pick him up, but Ed was so excited to have a few days out that we decided to extend their stay." He grinned, "Thanks for being understanding."

Annette materialized nearby, "Sure thing. We're glad some of their family approves."

Jet bobbed his head.

She smiled at the forest, "She is a very excitable youngun isn't she?"

Jet nodded, "Yup."

One of the men nearby smiled. "You look familiar."

Jet grinned, suddenly glad Faye's hair remover prank back fired. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

Wolfe eased away, placing the redhead between them. She smiled sweetly, "That brother-in-law of yours sure is a nice guy." She sighed, "He really loves her doesn't he?"

Jet repressed a scowl, uncomfortable making such guesses, "Yeah. He's fond of her."

Spike kicked back against a tree, content to eat while Faye frantically collected stray items. She scowled at her bikini top strung over a branch. With a few jumps she snagged it, spun and tried to slip it back on. "Faye," she stilled, strings hanging from the top of her shirt. "Come here." She shifted nervously but complied. He grinned when she sank next to him, allowing him to loop the strings together. "Relax. Ed already knows." She gasped. He clasped her necklace and tapped the pendant, "They bugged us when we went to the club." He entangled her fingers, "She's known we were in…"

Ed burst through the tree line and pointed, "Edward knows you were sharing the same square foot!" Her eyebrows wiggled and she drifted towards the basket. Plopping next to Faye she helped herself to a sandwich. "Did Faye-Faye and Spike kiss and make-up?"

Faye pinked, Spike chuckled, "Yeah."

"Yay!" She bit into the sandwich and grinned at Faye. "Will Faye-Faye take Ed swimming later?"

"Sure Ed."

"Do you think Spike-person or Papa Jet will come too?"

Faye shrugged. Spike grinned, "I'll come."

Ed smiled and pressed her luck, "Will Spike-person help Ed make s'mores?"

An eyebrow rose, "You're pushin' it kid."

She shrugged, "Ed had to try." She giggled, "Ed has never been camping before." She wiggled her toes. "It's fun, even if it's to catch bounty heads."

Faye shook her head, "Keep that to yourself, Ed."

"Edward knows!" She snatched another sandwich, "The bounty heads are busy staring at Papa Jet right now."

"How..?"

"Ed saw them before she ran to find Faye-Faye and Spike."

The group drifted from the lobby and towards one of the distant cabins. Annette smiled, "That Wolfe kid almost placed you."

Jet grinned, "Yep."

She nodded, "One or both boys head out towards the edge of the dome after they eat dinner with Angie."

"How often?"

"Every three nights or so."

George tipped his head towards their destination of choice, "It's outside the surveillance, so I can't say what they do. But they come back with supplies." His bushy eyebrows drooped, "Then they test their merchandise the rest of the night."

Annette smiled, "They'll be in their cabin all of the next day sleeping."

"When's the last time they headed out?"

"Two nights ago."

Jet nodded and took his key, "Thanks."

Faye collected the stray towels, while Ed poked at the water. Spike gathered the basket, stood and dug out a smoke. Ed snuck a peek at him while Faye's back was turned and grinned. He bobbed his head lit his cigarette. Ed's glance shifted to Faye, "Edward thinks Faye-Faye seems happier."

Spike grinned, a puff of smoke slipping out his mouth, "Why's that?"

Ed shrugged, "Just do."

Faye stopped beside the teen and scowled at the pair, "Just do, what?"

She tittered, "Nothing Faye-Faye."

Frown, "If it's nothing, why are you talking about it?"

"Uhh…" Ed glanced towards the cabins, "Got to go!" She bounced on her tip-toes, "Coming Papa Jet!" She dashed off, leaving a snickering cowboy and grumbling Faye in her wake.

Faye scowled, "Jet didn't call her."

Spike shrugged, "Kid seems part cat half the time, maybe he did."

"Pff." She studied him, "What were you two talking about?"

He grinned, tipped his head close, his plan to place a chaste kiss before sneaking away. Instead she stepped closer, arms slipping back around his neck as she pressed against him. Original plans forgotten he deepened the kiss. Grinning when she pulled away slightly flushed and headed down the path.

Near the cabin, she regained her composure, "So what were you and Ed whispering?"

He grinned and eased by, "Nothing." She rolled her eyes and mounted the few stairs to their door.

Jet studied the quaint little cabin. It was larger than Spike and Faye's, providing an extra room for Ed and Ein. The dog happily lying before the fire Jet had decided to make. He woofed happily, his tongue lulling to the side. Jet grinned and patted the pooch's head, "Yah. This is the life, isn't it?"

Another pleased huff. The pup's ears shifted slightly, his head perking to study the door. Moments later Ed plowed through. Pleased plastered on her face. She twitched towards the dog, "Edward saw Spike and Faye-Faye."

Jet's eyebrow rose, "And?"

The door opened revealing a grinning Spike, "And nothing."

Ed scowled, he'd stolen all her fun.

Jet glanced around him, "Where's Faye? And why do you have twigs in your hair?"

Spike grinned and ran a hand through the mess. "Was in the woods, remember?"

Jet's arms crossed, "So?"

"So. I was in the woods with Faye. Ed showed up and ate most of our lunch."

Jet sputtered, "You… you went… Holy Hell! You took Faye on a picnic?!"

Spike took a step towards the couch, "Annette and George gave me a bunch of sandwiches."

Ed giggled, "They went swimming."

Jet grinned, "Didn't know you own a pair of trunks, Spike."

"Guess we aren't as close as you thought, huh?" He flopped on the couch, legs stretched out before him, his arms draped across his face.

Jet chuckled at the satisfied grin flitting off and on his face, "You enjoy your swim with Faye?"

The grin stuck, "Yup."

Ed twitched, "You swam in the same square foot?"

The grin grew, "Yup."

Ed sat up, "Wow."

"Yup."


	32. Chapter 32

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Surprised visitors and a peeping George.

Chapter 32: Skeletons in my Closet (Team Fat)

Faye eased out the shower and padded into the bedroom. She ignored the other people in the cabin, assuming it was Ed, Spike and Ein. An unfamiliar chuckle caused her to spin and clutch her bathrobe. She dashed to the door and tried to kick it shut, only to have it bounce back and off her shoulder. She stumbled and rushed towards the bathroom. A hand gripped her arm and tugged her away. Knocking her off her feet she fell, staring up at Wolfe and Lihas. Angie whined pathetically from her position across the room.

Wolfe glared at her, "Shut up."

A frightened peep answered.

He focused on Faye, a knife flicking out and against the redhead's throat. Lihas grinned, happily eyeballing the damp bits of Faye peeking from the clutched robe. Wolfe snarled, "Get dressed quickly." Faye glared at him. He tossed a pile of clothes at her and pressed the knife harder, a thin line of red oozing over the metal. "Hurry, I don't have much patience." Frowning, Faye tugged the chosen clothing on. She grinned when she clasped her simple necklace- she liked what it promised. "You done?" She nodded and groaned when she was roughly jerked out of the room. _Why is it always the same?!_ She glanced at Angie, trembling on the couch. _Why can't Spike get kidnapped for once or Jet? What happened to karma? Mine can't be that bad!_

"What's this about?"

Lihas grabbed her jaw, "Like you don't know."

Faye frowned and tried to pull away, "No. I don't."

"You took out Tony and the Spider. Jerked me around like a tool and let that filthy cowboy around."

"What's wrong with Spike? I like…"

She grimaced when a hand cracked across her cheek. "Mind your place, skank."

Wolfe chuckled, "Oh poor Maxwell girl. Not used to this kind of treatment are you?"

Lihas grinned and tugged Faye closer, "Maxwell, huh? Which family?"

Faye snarled and spit, earning herself another rough slap.

"Tie her up." Wolfe scurried over and secured Faye's hands behind her back. Lihas grinned and tugged a door open, "Throw her in here with chubby."

Wolfe caught Angie's hair, "Don't fuckin' peep, or I'll make sure you and that cowboy's whore regret it." Angie nodded mutely and followed Faye into the enclosed space.

Jet scowled at the Bebop crew snoozing before the fireplace. He rubbed his head and eased into the crisp air. Spike stirred. "What time is it?"

Jet paused in the door, a cigarette propped in his lip. "Late. You slept for hours." He glared into the campground. "Wonder where Faye is."

Spike shrugged, "Go ask George. He has the place wired doesn't he?"

Jet grinned, "Yup." He blew a stream of smoke, "He knew exactly what you and Faye were up to."

Spike frowned, "Thought so." He rolled his shoulders and stood, "Guess I should go ask for copies, huh?"

Jet sighed, "I'll stay here with Ed." Spike was already half way to the office. He gave a half wave before Jet ducked back inside.

Ed twitched and sat up. "Where's Faye-Faye?"

"Don't know, why don't you check on Tomato."

"Oh, yeah." She yawned and tugged the red contraption closer with a toe. "Faye-Faye. Faye-Faye, where are…" she visibly perked, "Her dot is…" she scurried to the window and pointed, "There."

"That's her and Spike's cabin."

"Should Ed go check?"

"No. Stay put. Let's see what Spike learns first."

She frowned and chewed on her lip, glaring at the screen. "Faye-Faye's not moving and the beeps say she isn't even in normal people places."

"Wait."

Angie sank next to Faye, tears visible. "I'm so sorry." She shook her head, "I mentioned that I thought you two weren't married 'cause of something you said when we were talking and he flipped." She gave a shivery breath, "He started talking about cowboys and dirty double crossing women." Another hiccup, "Wolfe's changed." Her lip quivered, "He's the one that first threw me in here." She shifted, "I'm sorry I didn't warn you, they told me if I made so much as a peep to warn you they'd shoot you in the head." She sniffled, "I should've gone with Jeff like he wanted me too."

Faye nodded and fiddled with her restraints. Angie carefully studying her every move. Faye sighed and turned, showing her back to the girl, "What'd they tie me up with?"

Angie frowned at the bindings, "Looks like zip ties."

Faye rolled her eyes, no wonder her hands were going numb. She glanced at the nervous girl, "Sit back." Angie 'eeped' when Faye kicked the door. "Hey!" She kicked harder, "HEY!!"

The door was wrenched open revealing a livid Wolfe, "What?!"

She glared at him, "You need to loosen these restraints a little."

"Why?"

"Because, dumbass, my hands are turning purple." She grinned, "I doubt my husband's going to give you what you want if you damage me."

"Pff…" Lihas strutted close, catching her chin he grinned, "You two aren't even married and I already have what I want of his."

She smiled, "Prove we're not. I'm from Maxwell. Daddy set me up with one of his rising stars. He set it up so it'd look like we eloped. That way there wouldn't be noise about nepotism because Spike was promoted." Her grin turned wicked, "You're lookin' at the wife of the man destined to take over for Daddy."

"Bullshit!" Faye blinked away the stars. "Wolfe redo the restraints and hog tie her."

Faye groaned, when she was flipped onto her stomach, arms and legs tied, and then bound together. Lihas grinned as she was lugged up and tossed back into the closet. "Now be still, bitch." The door swung back open, a gag slapped over her mouth. Faye huffed but remained silent. She waited, listening to the men move about the small space. From the snippets of discussion she could catch, over Angie's nervous weeping and mumbles about being tricked, the two were scared and out of their league. She grinned when they began bickering about the newest load of supplies due that night. Lihas wanted Wolfe to go. Wolfe was certain his partner would lose his cool and start playing with the new toy before they'd finished business with their angry client.

"Bullshit."

"I've seen the way you ogle her." Frantic pacing, "She's high level Syndicate and you want to fuck her. Shit! We're already in it, especially if he's a second in command and not a bounty hunter."

"The dickweed's a cowboy, I'd bet on that."

"I wouldn't!"

Spike eased into the kitchen and smiled at Annette. She grinned back. "Where's George?"

"He's back there." She jerked with her thumb. "Don't kill him, please."

Spike snorted, "Hadn't crossed my mind." He slipped behind a curtain to find George staring at Faye swimming. He cleared his throat, grinning when the older man jumped and spun. "How many times you watched this all the way through?"

He blinked, "Enough."

"Good." Spike stepped closer, pulling out a smoke. He grinned, "She looks better in person."

"I'd believe you." George's grizzled eyebrow rose, "You're not here to swap pleasantries."

"Nope. I need you to tell me where the other three visitors are."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know." Spike flicked his lighter, "You know how I earn my keep. It's time to pay bills."

He nodded and flipped a few buttons, "I don't… Oh shit."

"What?" Spike glanced over his shoulder.

"They're in your cabin. They went in just after Faye." The old man chuckled, "Nice kiss by the way."

Spike rubbed his forehead, "Can you tell what they're doing now?"

He snorted, "I have some decency!"

Spike gave a sobering glare.

George cleared his throat, "No cameras in the cabins. I can tell you they haven't left though."

Spike turned to leave, pausing at the door. "Two choices old man." George blinked. "You erase that video or I do." Spike dropped his cigarette on the floor. "Trust me, you won't like how I get rid of it."

George nodded and watched the cowboy disappear down the hallway, _Scary kid._

Spike grinned when he heard the crack of plastic drift from the opposite end of the hall.

Faye rolled up on her knees, her shoulders protesting the stretch. Thick plastic cutting into her wrists and ankles. She groaned and eased back onto her butt, pulling her wrists under her legs and beside her feet. Carefully she bent her knees while leaning forward, back popping, and caught the tape between her fingers. She gave a slight moan when it ripped off and tugged on her swollen lip. Angie 'eeped' at the movement and inched further away. Faye rolled her eyes. It was painfully obvious the girl had reached her limit of useful. _Damn._ Mouth free she rotated her jaw and began to study what was hanging around her. She grinned when her eyes landed on a familiar, wrinkled, filthy, blue jacket. She caught it with her teeth and tugged. She shivered, unconsciously, at the uncomfortable sensation of cloth between enamel. The coat fluttered to the floor and with a few strategic bites and pulls, Faye was able to search the numerous pockets. She grinned in triumph when her fingers found one of Spike's many disposable lighters. She frowned at the restraints, preparing herself for the burns that were sure to follow. With a well practiced flick of her finger across the mechanism a flame sprang forth, bathing the small space with shadows. Faye bit her lip when the flame rested too long on her skin. She lined the fire up with a part of the zip tie, grimacing when drips of hot plastic dribbled onto her ankle. Softened the plastic separated easily, freeing her hands. Wasting no time she did the same for her feet and pocketed the light- you never know when something like that may be handy.

Jet scowled as the younger man eased back into the cabin. "Wolfe, Lihas and Angie all broke into our room just after Faye returned." He glared at the cabin through the window.

Jet's stomach dropped, "My bet is she's either tied up or dead."

Spike shook his head, "She's not dead." He grinned, "They think she's from Maxwell and knowing her she's spun me into some Syndicate honcho or up and comer. They won't touch her for fear they'll gain the wrath of a whole mob and their allies." Shrug, "Besides, Lihas hasn't had a chance to play with her yet."

Jet chuckled, Faye was that good. "Ed used the bug in her necklace. She's in the coat closet on the opposite side of the bedroom."

Spike nodded and studied one of the men as he slipped out the front door. "Guess he's off to pick up supplies."

Jet nodded. "Yup."

Spike grinned, "I think I'll go check out the neighborhood."

Another nod, "I'll go run interception at the edge of the campground."

"Got it."

Jet turned to Ed, "Keep an eye on things for us, understand?"

She nodded and refocused on her screen. "Ed has hacked into the cameras here." She snickered, "Does Spike want video of him and Faye-Faye swimming?"

"No Ed. Erase the whole thing and leave George a nasty surprise for being a pervert."

"Got it."

Jet scowled, "Don't watch it!"

Ed appeared scandalized, "Gross! Ed does not want to see Spike and Faye-Faye sharing the same square foot." She pulled a face, "That's like Ed seeing Papa Jet and someone share that kind of space." She stuck out her tongue, "Bleh. Barf. Icky. Bleck."

"I get it Ed."

"Good. Ed did not appreciate the mental picture."


	33. Chapter 33

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Lihas gets some alone time with Faye.

Chapter 33: People are Strange (Doors)

Faye stared at the door. Untied, she had searched every article within the small closet and released Angie. She glared at the girl, it painfully clear she would be little help. Faye stuck her head to the floor, trying to see into the main room. She frowned when she noted a towel had been placed across the small gap. Afraid to try the knob, her only weapons an aerosol can of something, a lighter and lipstick, she settled back and began contemplating a new career path. The concept of a small apartment, some classes at a local college and a nine-to-five sounding better as time ticked by. She was sick of living off cupped noodles and bell peppers. She wanted her own space, that didn't float around, where she could grow a flower or two and call it her own. The bounty hunter life had begun to wear thin, but she wasn't sure what else she was capable of. She stretched and settled in for a long wait.

Jet followed Wolfe towards the edge of the campground, the man skittish and wary. He grinned when a snapped twig sent him rushing to the tree line, where he stood trembling for over a minute. He studied the kid's behavior, as he neared the border he began obsessively searching every clump of brush, weed and tree. Jet watched as the movements became panicked, frantic in his attempts to find whatever he was searching for. The sound of shifting feet rattled behind him. Jet ducked behind a tree as Wolfe spun on the intruder and attempted some image of bravado. "Ya bring the shit?"

"You got the money?"

He dug in his coat, "Su…su..sure do."  
"Show me."

He paled when his hand brought out nothing, "I… I don't know why…"

The invisible man snarled and wrapped a beefy fist around his throat. "Where's Cous, fuck-up?"

"Back at one of the cabins entertaining."

"Ah… he got a new toy, huh?" The grip tightened, "Show me."

Wolfe made an abnormal wheeze before crumpling to the ground. He stood and rushed back the way he came. The large man followed, at a leisurely pace, several boxes tucked under his arm.

Bored and stiff Faye began rummaging around the floor of the small, cramped space. Angie's frantic breathing having stilled to a rhythmic slow. She rolled her eyes, _Either she doesn't think these guys'll hurt her or she just doesn't know what to do._ She clutched the woman's shoulder and shook roughly. Angie woke with a start, Faye clamping a hand over her mouth to keep her from speaking. Wide hazel eyes scanned the dark space. Faye leaned close, "I'm takin' my hand away, stay quiet. Wolfe or Lihas is still outside…" Both women jerked still when two pairs of feet tromped into the building, a third pair joining them.

Angie blinked, "No. I can't believe they brought…" her head bounced off the wall, Faye's hand held tightly to her mouth.

She slid close, "Keep…"

The door banged dangerously, "Quiet!"

Faye froze, her hand still clamped around Angie's face. Both women blinked.

The door shook again, "Angie keep that chick still or I'll take it out on both of you, got it?!"

Angie blinked, silently begging Faye to let her go. Faye complied. "Wolfe! She got loose!!"

Faye stared at the traitor, before she could process the door ripped open and a large hand wrapped into hair and jerked her back. She slid across the floor and into the furniture. "This…" the voice barked, "THIS is why you forgot the money?!"

Lihas glared at Wolfe who whimpered, "She's trouble, man. Hooked up with some syndicate up and comer." He glanced at the man, "Same guy that took out Cousin's crew."

Lihas snorted, "She's been porkin' a cowboy, nothin' more."

The man ignored Lihas and stepped closer, "No shit?!" He tugged Faye up by her shirt front. He chuckled, "Smart cookie this one." He gestured to her wrists and ankles. "How long it take you to get out of your restraints girly?"

Faye's lip curl, "Quick enough."

The man nodded and eased closer, "You ain't syndicate are you?"

Faye remained limp in his grip, her expression daring him to try something.

The man snarled and shook, "Are you?!"

She grinned, "I've already told those two who I'm married to." She attempted a shrug, "If you don't believe me, I can't force you to change your mind."

He returned her feet to the floor, caught her jaw and slammed her into the wall. "Listen Sugar. It's strange, I'm connected to several of the top movers and shakers and I ain't never seen you."

Faye grinned, "Daddy doesn't like to show me around." She snickered, "I'm his precious princess. He can't have some low level bums like you hittin' on me."

The man pressed her head tighter into the wall, "So tell me, Princess, who did Daddy think was appropriate?"

"My husband of course." Faye frowned, "You sure speak well for muscle." She winced when her head was popped off the wall. "Why didn't Daddy introduce me to you?"

"Quit stallin'." He snarled. Faye turned from his face, eyes slit, mouth pressed tight. "Bitch." He caught her arm, "Answer my question!" and shook, tossing her across the room. Faye grimaced when she stumbled over her feet.

Spike crept to the cabin, hidden in the shadow of the small cabin, just in time to catch the redhead scream. Unsure what was going on, he inched along the side of the building and peered through the illuminated window. He frowned when he caught a familiar pair of legs tripping towards a nearby wall followed by a large muscular frame. He grinned at her vague retorts and calm façade. He prepared to hop through the window when a large hand clapped onto his shoulder. Jet tugged Spike back, "Hold it. They don't know we know she's missing." Spike jerked from his grip, "Look I know…" he scowled through the small slat into the room, catching Faye stumble over furniture and onto the floor. The ogre of a human following close behind. "I know you want to help, but she needs to keep on her own for a bit." Spike scowled and studied what was happening. Jet gave a curt nod, "Trust me. She'll be fine."

Faye was standing slowly, her nonchalant mask well in place. She grinned, "So what are you, some shitty body guard turned mule?" Jet flinched when a crack sounded through the space. Faye pulled herself upright, a large handprint glowing across her cheek, temple and forehead.

Spike snorted, "How big is that guy?"

"Big." Jet shook his head, "He made me look tiny."

Spike grinned, "Huh. Know who he is?"

Both men winced, Faye was still lipping off and easing towards a window. Wolfe guessing her game, stepped behind her. Spike caught the grin, Wolfe caught her foot to his chin momentum sending him out the window. She stood and dusted her hands. "That's one!" She held up a finger, just in case the remaining thugs needed a visual aid.

Jet rolled his eyes, "She's goin' to get herself…" the large man grabbed for her chin, tugging her close. She kicked, cussed and dug at the restraining arm, only to earn a hand clamped around her throat. Both cowboys stilled when she went limp. The monster tossing her to the side like a rag doll. Jet sighed, "Shit."

George wandered towards the cabin, slipping up the side next to the two cowboys. He grinned and bobbed his head in greeting. "Annette's with the kid and dog, Jet." He scowled at the crumpled body outside the window, "Who did that?"

Spike grinned, "Faye."

George whistled, "Impressive." He smiled at Spike, "Picked a scrapper didn't ya?"

"Hn…"

Faye forced her breathing to calm. She'd caught a glimpse of something outside the window. Eyes still shut she listened to the two men discuss plans. Peeking through her lashes she glanced at the window, just catching Jet's head and a tuft of familiar fuzz through the glass. Repressing a smirk she glanced back at the gruesome twosome. Both men nervously discussing what to do; neither concerned over Wolfe outside in a crumpled heap. She frowned when Jet's head disappeared. Spike glanced through the glass, just catching Faye's careful movements. Sensing she was being watched her eyes shifted back towards the window. Spike grinned, the hand print had lost some of its angry red, her lip swollen and cracked, soft bruises forming along her throat. She stilled, glanced at the two bounties and returned to playing possum. Lihas eased close, checking for a pulse. "Good. She ain't dead, Genza."

"Why you care? She isn't goin' to be your toy." He turned to study the limp figure, "Drag her over here so I can keep an eye on her."

Lihas snarled, "I worked damn hard to collect this one."

"Tough." Faye remained dead weight, hoping he would grow tired and still. Her arms stung from the rough jerks to force her along the floor. She peeked at the door, _Just a few more…_

Spike caught her eye and shook his head. He mouthed, "Wait."

Resisting a face, Faye remained slack and allowed Kevin to continue tugging her across the floor. He dropped her below the large man, who snickered and tapped her with his foot. "Get up, Princess." She remained still. He stepped dangerously close, "Quit playin' possum or I'll let Cousin here make you and that chubby chick scream." He barked a rough laugh, "He's been dying to touch you since he found you." Lihas inhaled sharply. Faye's lip curled, her eyes blinking open. He tugged her to sitting. "Good girl." Checking her pockets he removed the lighter and drug her to the bathroom. With a satisfied grin, he knocked her feet back and tied her hands around the bottom of the toilet. He snickered at her sprawled across the floor. "You better hope neither of us has to take a piss." He grinned, "My aim ain't too good after a few hits." He caught her hair, forcing the bands around her wrist to bite in, "Be a good girl and just lay here." He slapped more tape across her mouth and returned to the main room, door open so he could watch her. Settling on the couch he groaned, "Where's this husband of hers?"

Lihas shrugged, "She isn't married it's a game."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Genza snarled, "I don't trust her. She's too quick to be a pampered syndicate princess." He rubbed his chin, "Then again she may just have a smarter dad than most."

Kevin peeked into the darkened bathroom, "Those cowboys she's with treat her well."

"What makes you think they're cowboys?"

Lihas grinned, "The big guy that showed up today is the one that hauled Jeff in on a narc bust and beat the shit out of Boris and Anthony."

"So, he could be ISSP." Chuckle, "Half those guy's pockets are lined with Syndicate cash."

Lihas's hand reflexively ghosted across his chin, "The skinny guy's the one that knocked three of my teeth out and busted up half my face." He glared into the darkened restroom, "I should take it out on her. Show her the error of her ways." He grinned and snickered.

"Not sure you're goin' to get to." Genza shifted, the couch protesting, "I want to see this fellow up close. From what you say, he fights like he's dealt with difficult folks before and he looks like a fellow I heard some previous contacts talkin' about." He snorted, "Fellow supposedly blew up the Red Dragons."

Shrug, "Doesn't mean he's the next in line to another Syndicate." Lihas gave the bathroom door a wistful look, "And I need to leave princess with a reminder of what happens when you blow me off." His eyes slit, "Married, syndicate, cowboy or not."

"You're one sick fuck, you know that?"

"Yup."

Spike watched him drag Faye through the house and grinned, he had a plan. Jet was busy helping George restrain Wolfe. With a sigh, Spike tucked the gun away and marched up the steps. Both men inside froze at the creaks and pops the extra weight added to the structure. "You think it's…" Genza held a finger to his lips, signaled Lihas to the bathroom and eased towards the door. Not needing further instructions the smaller man scurried by Faye, closed the door and perched on the tub. He hissed, "Stay still." She rolled her eyes at the sound of a hammer cocking. "Or I'll shoot you before we can play." She pretended to comply, resting her head on the cool tile. Assuming she would behave, he relaxed and awaited further instruction or a prime opportunity.

Jet's breath caught. Spike was currently on the porch, casually swiping his card to enter the cabin. He glanced over his shoulder and nodded. With a sigh, Jet eased forwards. Certain he'd play back-up, again. Genza stilled beside the doorjamb and grinned when the knob began to turn. Spike rolled his shoulders, preparing for the punch he was certain would greet him once the door swung open.

He pressed against the weighted wood, "Faye." She repressed the urge to snicker. "Faye, honey, I'm back."

Lihas misread her shaking, "Hold still bitch. He'll get his in a min…"

WHAM!


	34. Chapter 34

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Some flying lessons, without a ship.

Chapter 34: My Girlfriend's Shower Sucks (Goldfinger)

Kevin snickered at the violent smashing of wood. "Sounds like your husband just met Genza's fist." He continued to chuckle, placing the gun next to him. Faye grimaced, she could hear shuffling, the sound of flesh being hit floating through the small building. She forced herself to calm and drown out Lihas's laughter. She strained to hear something useful after Angie's squeal, a hushed order and scrambling feet. She needed to be cool, collected and unfazed by whatever she may see. She shuddered at the chilling images her mind supplied, creating a worst case scenario.

Spike, anticipating a hit, ducked the initial punch. Sending one of his own towards the large man's ribs. Genza coughed, grinned and swung again, catching Spike's jaw and launching him through the closet. Angie shrieked, attempting to flatten against the wall. Not interested in her, Spike shook off the stars and wood splinters and ordered her to run. The poor girl didn't have to be asked twice, sprinting from the cabin a sobbing mess. Witness out of the way Spike stood and analyzed his opponent. The guy was huge. He was a puncher and grappler an interesting contrast to Spike's quick kicks. He launched three at the man's skull. Left foot met temple, right met neck then swung down to plow into his chin. Genza's head snapped back with a sickening crunch. Grinning, the monster rolled his shoulder and inched closer, attempting to limit Spike's distance.

Spike kicked for Genza's ribs. Frowning slightly when a beefy fist wrapped around his foot. Dropping, he kicked up, hoping to knock the hold loose. Genza chuckled, hefted and tossed. Chucking Spike into the distant wall. He rolled off the surface and onto the floor with a wheeze, _Wasn't expecting to become airborne_. He popped his back, grimacing at the pains and pulls slashing across his shoulder and down his spine. Genza stilled, his knuckles popping. "I recognize you."

Spike blinked, "Yeah?"

"You were a sweeper for the Red Dragons some years ago."

Spike nodded, "And?"

Genza stilled, "Holy shit! That girl wasn't lying."

Spike swiped at his chin, "Why would she?"

"She said she was married to some rising star. Kevin thought you were a cowboy, you just clean up messes."

Spike scowled.

"Man, I followed your record like most kids keep baseball stats. You an' Vicious were amazing." He grinned, "I figured I could do better though and when I take you out and haul you and that wife of yours back I'll be promoted."

Spike chuckled. "You're not a sweeper, never could be."

Genza stiffened, "I could…"

Spike grinned, "Nope. No finesse." Shrug, "'Sides, the only records Vicious and I had were rumors. You'd know that if you had the chops. You're just… a…" He glanced at the bathroom door. "Faye would know what to call you." He grinned when he heard a pained groan accompanied with the sound of plastic bottles falling, and then string of muffled cusses, or what Spike assumed were cusses, _They must've gagged her_. Both men flinched at the gun shot.

Genza smirked, "Looks like your wifey just got a hole in the head."

"Doubt it."

Lihas too busy laughing at the scuffling outside missed Faye's change in posture. Arms still wrapped around the toilet, she used her foot to kick the gun by her hands.

"Sounds…" snort, "Like Genza just threw skinny into the wall." He clutched the back wall, trying to keep from falling into the tub. Gun out of the way Faye pulled up on her knees, drawing his attention. He reached for her upraised rear. "Relax, baby. I'll help you grieve." She snarled and kicked back, her heel smashing through teeth. Shocked, he fell back into the tub, toiletries pelting him. Faye gave a sympathetic shudder when she heard the sound of pebbles tapping into the tub and then skull ricochet off tile. _Oops. Guess I kicked a little too hard._ He groaned, reminding her that he would be moving and pissed, though groggy, quite soon. She tugged on her bindings. Grimacing at the plastic slicing through her hands. _They used new restraints. Shit._ With some creative stretching she inched the gun closer to the toilet. Laying flat she pressed the muzzle to the bowl. Closed her eyes and fired. She heard the porcelain crack, ceiling tiles raining down. She bit her lip when a chunk of toilet toppled onto her hands, water splashing around her. She grimaced and pulled up, tugging free from the shattered cream ceramic, glaring at the stray scratches and cuts she ripped the tape from her mouth and spun on the woozy drug dealer. Clutching a handful of hair she bashed his head back into the tile wall. "Jerk." She smiled at the spider web that blossomed around him. Digging the gun from the puddle, she smashed the mirror, gingerly retrieving a decent sliver of glass. Scowling at the self inflicted injuries, she bumbled through freeing herself and eased towards the exit. Ignoring the shards piercing her feet she cracked the door open and stepped into the room.

Spike nodded, his gesture unnerving Genza. "What?" Faye hobbled further into the room and grinned. Genza froze at the sound of a safety releasing.

Spike grinned, "Faye," she shifted off a rather deep chunk of glass and cocked an eyebrow. "This guy thinks he has what it takes to be a sweeper."

She snorted, "He's stupid muscle." Her lip curled, "Maybe a brawler." Spike nodded when she slipped back into her roll of a Syndicate socialite. "Daddy would call him… expendable." Her eyes and gun trained on the bounty's back, "Big. Stupid. Muscle. Barely worth the amount of food he consumes."

Jet heard the gunshot. Panic, worry and stress battling for control. _Was it Spike or Faye?! _He rushed the front door, busting through. Spike looked battered, but otherwise fine. Faye on the other hand looked like she had a battle with a china shop and lost. Chunks of white porcelain, glass and sheet rock splattered across her head and shoulders, her front sopping wet, vicious little scratches crisscrossing her arms. He frowned at the wet, bloody footprints leading from the bathroom. A small, pink puddle forming under her. "Faye, go dry off. I've got him."

She snorted, "Not until Giaganto here is incapacitated." She glanced at Spike, "He chucked Spike across the room like he was nothin'."

Jet rolled his eyes and trained his gun on the bounty's head. "Where's Lihas?"

Faye grinned, "Tragic, really. He became a statistic." Her head shook, "Had an accident in the shower."

"That why you're dripping?"

Her lip curled, "They tied me to the toilet."

Spike snorted, "You're goin' to want to wash that off Faye."

Her eyebrows crashed together, "It was clean water, lunkhead."

Jet shuddered, "Still."

Spike snickered, "Keep tellin' yourself that, Faye."

"I will."

Genza cleared his throat, "What the hell's wrong with you guys?"

Spike stepped closer, Faye limped left, Jet right. Genza's eyes swiveled trying to decide who to track. Spike struck first, his foot slamming into the man's ear. Jet took the slight swaying to swoop in, his mechanical arm burying into diaphragm. Faye eased back, gun still trained on the bounty. Wheezing he missed Spike float close again, a spinning kick connecting with his cheekbone.

Faye snickered, "How hard is this guy's head?"

Jet chuckled, "Pretty tough." He brought a fist down onto the back of Genza's cranium, slamming his face into the floor. Wasting no time he cuffed the behemoth, Faye easing closer to keep him covered. She winced when another shard dug into her foot. Jet scowled, lugging Genza out the door. "Spike help her get that glass out, after you wrap up Lihas."

She perched on the edge of the couch, digging a large chunk from her foot with a hiss. "I doubt he'll be goin' anywhere."

Spike scowled, "Why?"

"Woman's intuition." She dropped a second shard on the carpet.

Spike peeked into the bathroom and pulled a face. Kevin was a slobbering mess. He grinned at Faye, "You do that?"

"Yes." She had swapped feet, "Jerk grabbed my ass." She glanced at him, "I'm getting **real** sick of him grabbin' me."

Spike snickered and cuffed the bounty. He shook his head at the shattered tile, swirling out from a bloody center. "Poor bastard." Lihas groaned. Spike chuckled, "You're lucky she got to you first." Another pained moan. Spike returned to the main room, Faye scowling at the tiny shards embedded in her heel. He studied the mess, kneeling before her, towel in hand. "I would've gotten to you eventually."

She huffed, "I wasn't sure you could take out that yeti."

He chuckled, "I've dealt with worse." He tugged a chunk of plaster from her hair, "Where were you when you shot the toilet?"

"Right next to it."

"Are you stupid?" Faye turned to find Jet glaring. "What if the bowl fell on your head, or your aim was wrong and you shot yourself?"

"I pointed the gun up and laid flat."

"Stupid stunt Faye and you know it." His brows furrowed when he entered the bathroom. "Good God! What did you do in here?!"

"I had to get free, so I smashed the mirror."

"And the toilet, shower and one of the bounty's heads." He clucked at the drooling man, "We're lucky he isn't dead."

She snorted, "**He's** lucky he isn't dead." Shrug, "I don't care. Asshole grabbed my butt one too many times." She glanced around the space, "Where's Angie?"

Spike chuckled, "Ran off after I crashed through the door and fell on her." He frowned, "For some reason, she wasn't as happy to see me this time."

Faye glared at the closet, "You land on her hard?" Spike shook his head. "Bummer. Stupid cow ratted me out."

Jet hefted Kevin over his shoulder, "Guess it's a good thing she ran off then."

"Shut up…" she hissed at Spike's nursing skills, "That hurt!"

"Wear shoes next time."

"Har. Har."

Annette clucked her tongue and herded Faye away, a nervous Ed following. George passed Spike an icepack. With a stiff nod, he accepted, placing it on the counter next to him. Jet snorted, helping himself to a cup of coffee. ISSP was due soon to collect the bounties. Angie had drifted back, nervous and wary. She settled in a chair as far from the cowboys as possible. Three cigarettes and two cups of coffee later, Faye returned: clean, dry, hobbling and bandaged. She eased into the stool next to Spike and stared at the Formica counter top. He dug out a smoke and lit it, contemplating the swirls of gray over his head. George plopped a piece of dessert in front of Faye. Angie made the mistake of shifting closer, drawing Faye's glare.

"What?"

"I… uh…"

Ed scurried to occupy the stool opposite Spike, spun towards the girl and hissed. "Edward is watching you." She appeared to fluff up, "I do not like you."

Faye grimaced, nudging her slice of pie towards the kid. "Here Ed."

She inhaled sharply, redhead forgotten, whole focus on the pile of whipped cream and cherry. "Ooooolala." She plucked the cherry, "Fankssss Thaayye-Faye!"

"Welcome. Now be still."

Annette dropped some pain killers in front of the grimacing woman and glowering cowboy, she glanced at Angie, "You've got some nasty bruises, dear. This'll help you relax." Faye nodded, swallowing the pills dry and glaring at the shifting girl. Spike ignored his, opting to study Faye.

"I… uh…" she blinked at Spike who shrugged and tapped his smoke. Her gaze flickered over Ed, who had already made her opinion painfully clear, settling on Jet. He turned his back to speak to the ISSP sergeant.

George nodded. Annette stilled her cleaning, "You're folks'll be here in the morning to pick you up."

"Uh… thanks." Her gaze shifted back to Faye who was busy trying to ease off the stool.

Spike smirked, catching her arm. "Where you goin' to sleep, Faye?"

She shrugged, too sore to jerk her arm free, "Ed's bed."

George puffed, "Oh no you aren't!!"

She blinked, "Our cabin's destroyed and..."

He winked at Spike, "You two stay here," he passed a key. "The kid and I already moved your stuff." Spike nodded. Easing Faye towards the door.

Angie caught Faye's arm. Earning a disgruntled hiss and disproving glares from both cowboys and a sticky faced Ed. Faye turned towards the girl, her face blank. "What?"

"I… uh…"

Faye shrugged, "I… uh… I… uh… don't really care. You froze and did what you had to do to survive." Her lip lifted, "And I did what I had to do." She snatched the key from Spike and began hobbling away. "It's not like we were ever friends, so live with your choice."

Spike grinned just catching Faye mumble, 'stupid cow' under her breath. He glanced at the girl, "Be glad that's all you get from her."

Jet nodded, "She busted Spike's nose for less."

He dropped his cigarette, "You would've deserved it for ratting her out while she was trying to save you."

Ed nodded.

Spike sauntered from the building, closely shadowing the stiff and grumbling Faye.

Jet grinned, his money card bursting with bounty profits. He glanced at Annette before turning to George, "How much do we owe you for the mess in that cabin."

George grinned, "Funniest thing, Jet." He rubbed his neck, "Those boys left a hefty deposit and used their bank card to pay off the room."

Ed shifted, "Edward made the bounty heads pay for the mess!"

Jet chuckled, he couldn't believe it. The Bebop's record was actually improving.

The young ISSP sergeant returned and studied the brooding Angie. He leaned towards Jet, "She coming too?"

Jet shrugged, "She's just a hapless victim."

The cop shook his head, "No. She's got a bounty. Stupid girl's been their cover from the beginning."

Jet scowled, "She have to go?"

The cop nodded. Angie began weeping when another cop flicked a shiny set of cuffs around her wrists. Annette stepped close, "Don't worry honey. Share what you know about those two and they'll make you a deal."

Jet put a restraining hand on Ed's forehead. It was pointless she snarled, "Ratfink lady has practice singing."

The cops nodded at Annette's reassurances. "They know you're guilty of being naive and stupid, not kidnapping, theft, drug running and distribution." Angie's lip quivered.

Ed snorted, "Suck it up."

Jet scowled, trying to suppress his grin. She was getting surprisingly good at impersonating the others on the ship. "Ed go check on Ein."

She nodded, hopping from the stool.

Faye tugged off her clothes. She just wanted to sleep, shower in the morning and get as far from the quaint little campground as possible. Spike shut the door, just catching Faye tugging on one of his clean shirts. He grinned, kicking stray clothing out of the way and adding his own. She sat on the bed, easing her bandaged feet under the covers. She glanced at him before lying down with a sigh. He chuckled, "Do I have to respect the middle?"

She peeked at him through her lashes, "Am I going to wake up tied to the bed."

"Only if you want to be." He smirked at the pink dusting she attempted to hide by rolling over.

"Sleep where you want." He eased under the sheets and slid close, wary of the various cuts and bruises littering her arms. She sighed, pressing closer. He flicked off the light, "'Night Faye."

"'Night."


	35. Chapter 35

I do not own the characters of _Cowboy Bebop_. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

The final chapter!

Chapter 35: Return to Innocence (Enigma)

Faye rolled over, crashing into Spike. She scowled. "Move cowboy or suffer the consequences." He flopped off the bed, grinning as she padded past. Ed pouncing her at the door. "Ergh! Ed. Not now! Please!!" He heard shifting, the door cracking to reveal a rather disgruntled teen glaring back.

He waved, "Morning Ed."

Her eyes narrowed, "Lunkhead, why aren't you in **your** room?"

Faye returned, showered and dressed. She scowled at Spike's unlit smoke. "Not in here, got it?"

"Yeah. Yeah." He watched as she tugged on clothes, "When you going to tell Ed?"

"Soon." She shrugged, "It's not like she doesn't know most of the story."

"Kind of mean isn't it?"

She chuckled, "I think it's funny how she blames you." Faye fiddled with some stray clothes. She sighed, "I'll tell her today." She rubbed her neck, "Jet already knows, doesn't he?"

"He's in the same boat as Ed."

Sigh. "Great."

"AGGGHHHH!" Ed burst through the hatch, her face contorted in pure, horrified disgust.

Jet jerked, the back of his skull becoming introduced to the top of the panel. His upper body ripped from the electrical access, fury evident. "What?!"

Ed's convulsions stilled, "Spike-person and Faye-Faye."

"What about them?"

Her face soured, "They're… they're…"

Jet sighed, tinkering with a pair of wire snips. "They're what?"

Her lip snuck out, "They're getting along too much. Edward is sick of it!"

Jet chuckled, "You wanted them to be friends. This is what we get."

"But they still fight!" She grumped, "Now they just disappear after." She flopped on the floor. "And they're all squishy and…" she shuddered. "Edward does not approve."

Jet chuckled, "I hate to break it to you kid, but I don't think they care." He gave her a sad glance and sighed, "Hand me that spool of wiring."

"Edward does not get it." She whined, "What's so special about Lunkhead Spike?!" She kicked at nothing in particular, "Faye's too busy sharing space with him to see Ed."

Jet smiled, "It'll mellow out. Just give 'em time. You're the one that thought it'd be funny if they acted like they were married." He shrugged, "Who knew they'd both decide it wasn't too bad." He studied her, "Sorry kid. They got a lot to burn off."

"Ed thinks it's gross." She folded her arms, "And they're not married. They only pretended at George and Annette-lady's so they could catch the bounty heads." Cranky, golden eyes slanted his way. "Faye-Faye doesn't even catch bounties anymore. She's too busy doing other things." She puffed. "Did Papa Jet know Faye-Faye has found an apartment on Ganymede?!" He nodded. Ed wailed, "Faye-Faye is leaving Ed, Ein and Papa Jet!" She kicked the wall, "It's not fair." Jet chuckled, _Guess Faye hasn't told Ed she can come._ "It isn't funny!" Her lip wiggled and she dug at her eyes. "Ed does not want Faye to leave!"

He sighed, "She's not Ed. She's just busy. Bounty hunting's gettin' to be too much for her. You know she's been takin' classes to get a job with benefits."

Ed sniffed, "Why's Faye-Faye need insurance and vacation time?!"

"Don't know. Maybe it's to take care of you."

Ed moaned, "No!! Faye is leaving Ed and running off to play house with Lunkhead, brill-o brained Spike!"

Jet couldn't help it, he laughed out loud. "Are we a tad jealous, Ed?"

She blinked, arms folding tighter, glare burrowing into the Swordfish, "No." Her lip quivered, "Faye-Faye has forgotten about Edward."

Jet snorted, "Oh ye of little faith."

"Hmph."

Since their return, almost a year ago, Faye had slowly stopped bounty hunting. Using her chunk of the haul to pay off the last of her debts. She and Spike had disappeared for a week to celebrate, leaving a very displeased teen to destroy most of Spike's things. When they returned, he had studied the chaos, grinned and sauntered off to have a smoke. Faye had pulled Jet aside, filling him in on what she was planning. He had to admit he was happy for her. She had done well, earning and preparing for this moment. Spike had done his share, which surprised Jet. Both of them appeared comfortable and at ease. Faye's classes slowly keeping her from bounties, while Spike willingly picked up the extra slack. To earn her keep, she'd started waitressing again at another goofy little coffee shop. He shook his head, her steady income kept them fed and allowed her to stay aboard.

He glanced at Ed, still wishing ill on the owner of the Swordfish. She had struggled with the competition and Faye had done nothing to alleviate Ed's discomfort. _Poor kid. If she only knew._

Spike materialized in the doorway. "Ed." She glared at him. He smirked around his smoke, "Where's Faye's ring?"

"Not with Ed."

"I know," He grinned and tugged it from his pocket, "Quit hidin' it."

She simmered.

He paused flicking his smoke, relishing in the teen's discomfort, "Hey, Faye's lookin' for you."

"Really!?!"

He nodded, "Yeah. She has something she wants to tell you."

"Ooooo! A secret from Faye-Faye!"

"Something like that." He watched the kid scamper off and scowled, "What the hell's wrong with her?"

"She thinks you're stealin' Faye away."

"Hasn't Faye told her the place is big enough for her too?"

"Nope." Jet chuckled, "Guess she wants the kid to stew for a bit." Snicker, "Ed doesn't even know you two snuck off and got hitched. She thinks you're just the preferred friend."

"Huh."

He studied his sober partner, "You're quiet. Faye's secret that bad."

He grinned, "No. Ed will have a conniption, but… it's good." He rubbed his neck, "I guess." Shrug. "She's excited."

"And you aren't?"

"Not sure what to be. I've had time for it to soak in, but it's still…"

"FAYE-FAYE'S WHAAATTT!?!?!"

Jet snorted. "What she pregnant?"

Spike chuckled, "Yup."

"Well that explains a lot." Jet grinned at Spike's antics with his unlit smoke.

Sigh. "Yup."

_Got room for one more, Cowboy?_


End file.
